The Countdown to Thirty (11 page)

“What’s up man,” I asked as I joined him on the opposite end
of the couch.

“I’m getting ready to go out of town,” he said as he powered
off my flat screen and turned to face me, “I have training for two weeks at
Luke Air Force Base.”

“Where’s that?”

“It’s in Phoenix. It’s only a couple of hours away but I
won’t be here in case some shit pops off,” he said reaching deeply into his
pants pockets.

“What are you talking about?”

“Here,” he said retrieving a flashlight and placing it
gently in my hands.

I gave Christian an incredulous look, “A flashlight? Am I
missing something?”

“It’s a stun gun. Everybody knows about all the break-ins
thats been going on around here and you need to be safe. It’s not a gun but
you’re not ready for that yet. At least with this you’ll be safer going to your
car or coming home at night.” He said speaking in a manner that let me know he
was serious about this.

“Thank you,” I said even though I was somewhat shocked by
his sincerity.

“Let me show you how it works.” He said as he picked it back
up from my hands and removed the safety case.

“It’s easy, you see these prongs here?” He pointed, “Just
put em’ on whatever you want to stun and you’ll stun the fuck out of it.”

I giggled some more, “I hope I don’t stun myself.”

He chuckled along with me, “You won’t. But if you see
somebody who don’t look right to you or you find yourself in a jam aim for the
neck, chest or even the nuts.”

I blushed, “Wow, the nuts huh?”

“Yep, but you got to keep it charged okay. It won’t work if
it’s not charged.”

“Got it Staff Sergeant Dozier,” I joked like I was one of
his recruits.

I picked up the charger plugging it into the socket beneath
my end table and inserted the battery for the stun gun. Christian relaxed and
leaned back into the sofa like he wasn’t getting ready to leave anytime soon.

“So when are you leaving?” I asked plopping down next to
him, “I mean for Phoenix.”

“In the morning. Sorry for dropping by last minute, but
that’s why. I wanted to get it to you before I left.”

“It’s okay. I called your mom the other day to tell her
thank-you for the kit. She sounds good.” I said trying to sound as normal as
possible. I didn’t want to let on that I was feeling a little drunk after a
glass of wine.

“Yea she’s good. But what about you?” he asked turning to
face me on the sofa, “Are you good?”

I knew the concerned look on his face and it told me he
wasn’t talking about just surface stuff. He was talking about something deeper,
maybe even Malcolm.

“I’m okay you know. When I get to LA I have to talk to Riley
about Derrick and try to help her get on the right track. I’m not quite sure
how I’m going to do that yet, any suggestions?”

“Yea I got one. Lead by example.”

Even though I may have been buzzed I knew when to be
offended and I was a little offended, “I do lead by example, what are you
talking about? I went to school and got my degree, I have a career, I provide
for myself, I didn’t have children before marriage. I think that’s leading by
example.”

Okay so maybe I was more than a little offended or the wine
was speaking for me. After defensively listing off my exemplary accomplishments
to Christian I combatively awaited his response.

Lead by example that’s exactly what I do.

“I’m not talking about any of that stuff.”

With confusion plastered on my face I asked, “Then what are
you talking about?”

He hesitated for a moment then heatedly responded, “Where’s
your man at! How come I’m here and he’s not? You keep sticking with this dude
thinking he’s gone come around and he’s not. You need to stop wasting your time
Kaia.”

“Look you don’t know anything about me and Malcolm so you
just need to mind your own business.”

He let out cynical grunt, “Then tell me something about him.
Where’s he at then?”

I paused for a while not wanting to tell Christian the
truth. The embarrassing truth, that we were still “together” but were going
through some things. But I was too mad to let him think he was right.

“Look we’re good okay.” I said wanting to end this debate.

He let out a second grunt, “No you’re not.”

“Yes we are,” I said not sure if I was trying harder to
convince myself or Christian.

“No you’re not.” He said again causing my blood to boil.

“Look! I said we are so just –“

Suspending my anger in mid-sentence Christian rapidly
bridged the gap between us grabbing my face in his big brown hands and
vigorously pressing his supple lips against mine kissing me passionately and
forcefully. My mind went crazy with bewilderment as I kissed him back just as
avidly and sucked on his bottom lip as he eased his mouthwatering tongue in and
out of my mouth causing my mind to form into mush. In the heat of the moment I
couldn’t make sense of anything. I didn’t even realize when he collected me in
his colossal arms and laid me on my back pressing his body up against mine
kissing me all the while sending surges of pleasures across my flesh.

So lost in the moment and the wine I blocked the fact that
this was Christian I was kissing. He slowly began to work his way from my lips
to the curve in my neck and began succulently sucking and kissing away with
care and compassion. As I moaned he moved his hips in between my legs
instigating something I wasn’t ready for.

How is this happening? We need to stop! What are we
doing!

My mind raced with guilt as he continued until the mere
thought of our dishonorable deeds sparked a significant faint feeling in me.

“Stop…” I reluctantly moaned but he didn’t listen. He
continued kissing my neck then transitioned to my chest and began placing
gentle kisses on my breast.

“Christian stop,” I moaned again, “We can’t.”

“We’re not.” He said breathing heavily while he reached
under my shirt and grabbed one of my breasts rubbing his thumb gently over my
erect nipples.

“No, stop!” I said more forcefully now pushing away at his
massive chest.

He ceased his kisses and removed his hand from under my
shirt.

In a deep and breathless tone he declared, “I’m sorry, I’m
sorry. I don’t know what came over me Kaia I’m sorry.” He said apologetically
as he got up from between my legs to stand.

He ran his hands across his head with bewilderment. I stood
up quickly feeling guilt-ridden and suddenly the faint feeling I was
experiencing surged through my body causing my legs to go limp as I fell into
Christian’s arms.

“Kaia, are you okay?” he asked holding me up.

Oh God I was so embarrassed.

“I’m just – it’s just I – I’m not sure – oh my.” I declared
incapable of forming a complete sentence.

“Shit I fucked up.” He said sounding angry at himself. “I
didn’t want it to happen like this. Let me get you in the bed.”

I gave him the ‘
are you crazy’
look.

Not like that,” he corrected, “but you need to lie down.”

He walked me into the room holding on to me every step of
the way making sure I didn’t fall. Once I was in the bed he left the room and
came back shortly with a glass of cold water.

“Drink this. It should make you feel better.” He said
standing at my bedside waiting for me to drink up.

I drank the ice cold water and was grateful my lips were
pressed against something other than Christian’s lips.

“I feel better.” I told him as I handed him the glass.

“Good, good. I’m gonna get going okay.” He said putting an
end to this awkward moment and preparing himself to leave.

“Okay.”

I couldn’t even look him in the eyes.

Eventually I fell asleep but it didn’t go as well as I
planned. I don’t know about Christian but I tossed and turned in bed all night.
I even placed a pillow between my legs and imagined he was there.

Sonya

After dropping off a package at the post office for Saundra
I returned to her home office to begin assisting her with a social media
marketing plan for the magazine. When she first told me about the sorority
housewives coming up with an idea for a magazine I didn’t take them seriously.
After all they were a bunch of spoiled upper middle class and fortunate women
who didn’t have to stress much about money, but after working for them for the
past two weeks I gained a new found respect for these women. They had a plan and
were running with it.

Saundra received her Bachelor’s degree in Communications
which I’d always thought was perfect since she always tended to have an opinion
on one thing or another. Her role in the magazine was to be the PR/ Marketing
debonair. Shanice who was Saundra’s best friend received her Master’s Degree
from UNLV in Journalism and she took on the role of Editor. Shanice was a
powerful writer but she quit her day job as a freelance writer when she had her
twins. Now that the twins were at the tender age of four, she and her husband
felt comfortable with leaving them with a nanny so Shanice could go back to
work, but not for anyone else. And lastly there was Ms. Trina Evans Parker. She
graduated with a major in Theatre then after her divorce went back to school
and got her Bachelor of Arts in Women’s Studies. She basically took a blood
oath to never, ever get married again. Her son who is the eldest out of the
kids at a whopping eight years old is luckily able to spend a lot of time with
his father or else he may have turned into a total feminist like his mother.
Trina was dramatic quite often but she was smart. She stays up-to-date on hot
topics and is able to dig deeper and get you thinking on another level, she was
perfect for the magazine.

The housewives took my position as an assistant more
seriously then I’d thought when I saw they’d set-up a small desk for me in
Saundra’s office with a computer, filing cabinet, an office phone and even a
welcoming plant. I pulled up my calendar for the day and saw that we had a
phone conference scheduled in the next hour and a half where I was responsible
for taking minutes, then I needed to prepare and disseminate the meeting
minutes to everyone, then schedule phone interviews for Shanice with a few
freelance writers she was interested in working with. After that I needed to
pick up Imani and Xavier from school, fix them a quick snack and be on my way
back home so I could continue working on the jewelry pieces.

This fifteen-hour work week, not counting my time with the
kids, looking for a full-time job and creating the jewelry pieces was hectic at
times but I was learning a lot from the ladies. The job kept me upbeat and a
roof over my head so I definitely wasn’t complaining.

Before I could get started with Saundra my phone rang. She
told me to go ahead and take it because she needed to make a call herself.

It was Kaia calling me from her work phone, “Hey girl what’s
going on?” I asked.

“Just another crazy day over here, what are you doing
tonight?” She said whispering on her end of the phone.

“Nothing, what did you have in mind? And why are you
whispering, is Rosie still being a bitch?” I asked. Saundra looked at me and
put her finger to her mouth ushering me to be quiet since she was now on the
phone herself.

“Sorry.” I mouthed while standing up to walk out of the
office and into the living room.

“She is but I don’t think she’s going to last here long.
With all the help I’ve given her the word is that she’s still missed a few
deadlines. Come out with me tonight.”

“Where do you want to go? Please not a club you know how I
feel about clubs. I’ll go anywhere with you as long as it’s not that.”

“No not a club girl, not even a bar I’m not in the mood for
that crap. My co-worker Ivan is an artist and he invited me to come see some of
his work at First Friday’s tonight. I told him I would come support him so I’m
dragging you along with me.”

“First Friday’s, that’s that artsy thing they have downtown
every month right?” I asked.

“Yes. You want to go?”

“Yea that’s cool, we can do that. Are you still going out of
town tomorrow?”

“Yep, I’m leaving early around six so I don’t want to stay
out too late.” She said. “Really I just want to make an appearance tonight then
take my butt back home. I’m not really in the mood for a lot of socializing
right now.”

“Is everything okay? Are you still bummed because we didn’t
pick the winning Powerball numbers?” I playfully questioned while I took a seat
on the sofa.

She laughed. “No, I just have all this stuff on my mind
right now. I’m really confused about some things. But I’m trying to stay
positive so that’s why I’m making the effort to go. I just don’t want to be out
all night.”

“That’s fine, I understand. Just call me later I’ll be ready
to go.” I said supportively before disconnecting the call.

I thought about First Friday’s tonight and was looking
forward to doing something different with my time besides resumes and novels to
woo me to bed. I ended up staying over Saundra’s house a little longer than
expected and helped her cook dinner for David and the kids. I didn’t mind
though, it was the least I could do since she hooked me up with this job and my
first big time paying gig.

Before backing out of Saundra’s pebbled stoned driveway from
her two-story Summerlin home I received a text message from Kaia asking me to
be ready to leave by six.

I pulled into Chateau Oasis by five and forced myself to
make the dreadful stop at the mailbox before going home. I took my time sifting
and sorting through sales advertisements, my student loan invoices, my upcoming
car payment and other white envelopes that I was sure had to be either
miscellaneous bills or junk. I threw it all in the passenger’s seat then
carried it up the stairs with me and left it on the counter to go through again
later.

After my quick and steamy shower and testing out my new
handmade apricot seed body scrub I glistened in a white one piece short set
that left my back exposed and a pair of sling back wedges that were comfortable
for walking. I adorned my wrists with layers of gold bangles and chain-linked
bracelets with the matching hoop earrings (all my own creations but of course)
that voguishly complimented my ensemble.

Standing in the mirror as I created the cat eye look with
the assistance of my loyal black eyeliner I couldn’t help but to wonder why I
always spent so much time beautifying myself. After all, all it did was attract
attention that I wasn’t ready for. I looked like a million bucks but I didn’t
feel that way inside. I was still struggling. If a guy who was actually worth my
time asked me what I did for a living,
what would I say?

“Well here’s to appearances.” I said while checking my
behind in the mirror before turning off the light and walking out of the
bathroom.

By the time we got downtown the sun had begun to cool off and
the weather was beautiful. Kaia parked at Symphony Park and we took the free
shuttle through downtown to the 18b Arts District.

“So what kind of artist is Ivan?” I asked as we stepped off
the shuttle and began walking.

“He said he specializes in mixed media and photography. I’ve
never seen his work before though.” She responded. “Look how crowded it is down
here, I would have never known.”

“I know it’s nice.”

“So how’s work going with your sister’s magazine? What kind
of work are you doing?” Kaia asked.

“Well, right now I’m assisting with putting together a
social media marketing plan to get the word out there that there is a magazine.
After that I’m going to begin working on a subscriber’s list, then research for
cover stories for the next few months and yeah, it’s a lot.” I said as I
stopped at a vendor to admire some handcrafted jewelry.

“Kaia look at this one.”

I picked up a brown leather cuff that had a silver medallion
of a python and tried it on my wrist.

“It’s cute but I’m not really into snakes though.” She said
studying the cuff.

“I love snakes as long as there not real.” I responded while
inspecting the cuff on my wrist. It was nice but I was positive that I could do
better. Out of curiosity I turned to face the artist and asked, “How much for this
one?”

“Forty-five dollars for that piece,” the woman replied in a
middle-eastern accent.

Kaia and I gave each other the ‘
that’s way too
overpriced’
look. Even if I had the forty-five dollars to spare, which I
don’t, I would have expected to get at least two cuff’s for that amount.
Besides it was extremely light in weight so I knew she probably skimped on
quality materials. I made a note that if I was going to charge that much for a
piece it had to be worth it.

“Thank you.” I said placing the cuff back down and grabbing
Kaia’s arm and moving her away from this overpriced display table.

We continued walking through the Art District with no
particular haste in finding Ivan anytime soon. We were enjoying the music, the
arts and our conversation too much. We joined a crowd of onlookers who were
admiring a street artist who was perfecting his sidewalk drawing. It was
magical and reminded me of that scene in Mary Poppins where they found Bert
drawing in the park and they all jumped into the picture.

“So I have a plan.” I said to Kaia as we stood amongst the
crowd.

“A plan for what?”

“Not a plan for what, but to what. A plan during my
countdown to thirty.”

She turned her attention from the street artist to face me,
“I didn’t know we were coming up with a plan?”

“I have no choice, Nina was right I’ve been talking about
starting a business for as long as she’s known me and today twelve years later
I still haven’t. So I’ve formulated a plan.

“Okay, let me hear it.” She said encouragingly

Without a moment of doubt I told her everything from my
epiphany in the car to my fantastic designs for Corrine’s bachelorette party. I
unveiled my idea to create a business plan and a sales pitch to get my products
in stores at small boutiques around the valley. Hearing it out loud made me
feel even more confident in myself, but there was still that one thing holding
me back, money.

“But…I don’t have the money yet but I do have a ton of
bills.” I sighed, “I can’t do anything until I get these bills taken care of
first.”

“Sonya if you’re waiting for everything to be perfect first
you’ll never get started. Do you know how easy it is to start a business? I
work with new businesses all the time. You don’t necessarily need to have a lot
of money these days.”

“That’s true. I guess it’s a little scary to me still. I
mean I know fashion and retail but since I didn’t complete my degree I still
feel like there’s so much I don’t know.”

“But you’re never going to know everything, even with a
degree. Personally, I’d prefer experience over a snooty degree any day. Just
look at Rosie, she’s clueless. Besides if you start small you can work your way
up. Plus you just so happen to have a friend who’s a very brilliant and
talented graphic designer. I’m pretty sure she can give you a drop dead deal on
a website whenever you’re ready.” She hinted waiting for me to take the bait.

My heart began to flutter like it had the moment the thought
of my own jewelry line first came to me. Building my own business, my own
brand, working for myself to achieve my dream and not someone else’s, it was
all too exciting. Just the mere thought of having Kaia customize my website was
enough to keep me motivated.

“Really, you’d do that for me?”

“Yes, but only under one stipulation though.”

“Okay, you got it.” I said agreeing before I even heard what
it was.”

“You can’t doubt yourself anymore. If being a successful
entrepreneur by thirty is your plan you have to go for it now, whatever it
takes. You have to take that leap.”

We walked over to one of the many food trucks available and
purchased hot dogs and sodas. We sat down at an Italian bistro style table and
listened to the live music play while watching the diverse group of people that
First Friday’s attracted.

“So what about you, how are you holding up?” I inquired

She shrugged her shoulders as she bit into her hot dog and
with a mouthful she replied, “I still miss him. I don’t know what to do.”

“Just remember you don’t need his ass.” Then I shrieked with
excitement, “Maybe you should try speed dating! You’re single, ready to mingle
right? Hubby and kids by thirty, well hubby by thirty, kid by thirty-one.” I
rambled on.

And as if she didn’t even hear the suggestion she continued,
“I don’t know how you do it. Don’t you miss having somebody there to hold you
close at night and make you laugh? Don’t you get…you know, horny sometimes
Sonya?”

I gave her an insidious smile before responding. I don’t
know how much of the truth she wants to hear but here’s to being honest.

“Well I masturbate so to answer your question yes I get
horny but I take care of the details myself.” I replied plainly laying all
cards on the table. “And I guess since I’m not interested in the dating game I
could care less if anyone is holding me at night. As a matter of fact I prefer
my space, thank God for space. Those lonely days are long gone for me girl, at
least right now anyway.”

She looked at me inquisitively and whispered, “You do it
with your fingers?”

I burst into laughter, “No crazy, that’s weak. A vibrator, a
dildo you know.”

“You’re a freak like that?”

“That’s not being a freak is it?”

“Yes it is,” she chuckled, “A little bit. What does it look
like?”
 “You’ve never seen one before? Girl we’re going to have to go on a field trip.
Mine is pink, twelve inches,” I said using my fingers to give her an approximate
size.