The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (757 page)

This wine is for Lepidus!

LEPIDUS

What manner o' thing is your crocodile?

What is a crocodile, really?

MARK ANTONY

It is shaped, sir, like itself; and it is as broad

It is shaped like itself, sir; and it is as wide

as it hath breadth: it is just so high as it is,

as it has width: it is as tall as it is,

and moves with its own organs: it lives by that

and moves with its limbs: it lives by

which nourisheth it; and the elements once out of

what it eats; and once it is done with something,

it, it transmigrates.

it excretes it.

LEPIDUS

What colour is it of?

What color is it?

MARK ANTONY

Of it own colour too.

It is its own color, too.

LEPIDUS

'Tis a strange serpent.

That is a strange reptile.

MARK ANTONY

'Tis so. And the tears of it are wet.

Yes. And its tears are wet.

OCTAVIUS CAESAR

Will this description satisfy him?

Will this description be enough for him?

MARK ANTONY

With the health that Pompey gives him, else he is a

After the drink that Pompey gave him, or else he is

very epicure.

very picky.

POMPEY

[Aside to MENAS] Go hang, sir, hang! Tell me of

Go away sir! Telling me about
that? away!

that? away!
Do as I bid you. Where's this cup I call'd for?

Do as I told you. Where is this cup I called for?

MENAS

[Aside to POMPEY] If for the sake of merit thou

If out of necessity you

wilt hear me,

will listen to me,

Rise from thy stool.

Get out of your chair.

POMPEY

[Aside to MENAS] I think thou'rt mad.

I think you are insane.
The matter?

What's going on?

Rises, and walks aside

MENAS

I have ever held my cap off to thy fortunes.

I have always been in favor of your good luck.

POMPEY

Thou hast served me with much faith. What's else to say?

You have served me faithfully. What else do you have to say?

Be jolly, lords.

Be jolly, gentlemen.

MARK ANTONY

These quick-sands, Lepidus,

You're standing on quicksand, Lepidus,

Keep off them, for you sink.

Be careful; you're sinking.

MENAS

Wilt thou be lord of all the world?

Do you want to rule the world?

POMPEY

What say'st thou?

What did you say?

MENAS

Wilt thou be lord of the whole world? That's twice.

Do you want to rule the world? That's twice.

POMPEY

How should that be?

How can that be?

MENAS

But entertain it,

Only give it a chance,

And, though thou think me poor, I am the man

And, though you may think I am poor, I am the man

Will give thee all the world.

Who will give you the whole world.

POMPEY

Hast thou drunk well?

Are you drunk?

MENAS

Now, Pompey, I have kept me from the cup.

Now, Pompey, I have stayed away from the wine.

Thou art, if thou darest be, the earthly Jove:

You are, if you dare become, the god of Earth,

Whate'er the ocean pales, or sky inclips,

Whatever is within the ocean's bounds, or under the sky,

Is thine, if thou wilt ha't.

Is yours, if you will have it.

POMPEY

Show me which way.

Show me how.

MENAS

These three world-sharers, these competitors,

These three rulers, these competitors,

Are in thy vessel: let me cut the cable;

Are in your ship: let me cut the rope;

And, when we are put off, fall to their throats:

And, when we are floating away, kill them:

All there is thine.

All of theirs will be yours.

POMPEY

Ah, this thou shouldst have done,

Ah, you should have done it,

And not have spoke on't! In me 'tis villany;

And not talked about it! In me it would be evil;

In thee't had been good service. Thou must know,

In you it would have been a good service. You must know,

'Tis not my profit that does lead mine honour;

It is not my profit that leads my honor;

Mine honour, it. Repent that e'er thy tongue

But the other way around. Regret that you ever
Hath so betray'd thine act: being done unknown,

Betrayed yourself by speaking: if you had gone ahead

I should have found it afterwards well done;

I would have afterwards found it well done;

But must condemn it now. Desist, and drink.

But must forbid you now. Stop, and drink.

MENAS

[Aside] For this,

Because of this,

I'll never follow thy pall'd fortunes more.

I'll never follow you again.

Who seeks, and will not take when once 'tis offer'd,

Someone who searches, and will not take once it is offered,

Shall never find it more.

Shall never find it again.

POMPEY

This health to Lepidus!

This toast to Lepidus!

MARK ANTONY

Bear him ashore. I'll pledge it for him, Pompey.

Carry him ashore. I'll toast it for him, Pompey.

DOMITIUS ENOBARBUS

Here's to thee, Menas!

Here's to you, Menas
!

MENAS

Enobarbus, welcome!

Welcome, Domitius Enobarbus!

POMPEY

Fill till the cup be hid.

Fill it until the cup brims over.

DOMITIUS ENOBARBUS

There's a strong fellow, Menas.

That's a strong fellow over there, Menas.

Pointing to the Attendant who carries off LEPIDUS

MENAS

Why?

Why?

DOMITIUS ENOBARBUS

A' bears the third part of the world, man; see'st not?

He carries a third of the world, man; don't you get it?

MENAS

The third part, then, is drunk: would it were all,

A third of it, then, is drunk: if only it all were,

That it might go on wheels!

So that it could go on wheels!

DOMITIUS ENOBARBUS

Drink thou; increase the reels.

You drink; increase the reeling.

MENAS

Come.

Come.

POMPEY

This is not yet an Alexandrian feast.

This is not yet a feast like in Alexandria.

MARK ANTONY

It ripens towards it. Strike the vessels, ho?

It comes near it. Hit the cups, yes?

Here is to Caesar!

Cheers for Caesar!

OCTAVIUS CAESAR

I could well forbear't.

I could go without it.

It's monstrous labour, when I wash my brain,

It's a lot of work, when I wash my brain,

And it grows fouler.

And it gets nastier.

MARK ANTONY

Be a child o' the time.

Enjoy the present moment.

OCTAVIUS CAESAR

Possess it, I'll make answer:

Own it, I'll answer:

But I had rather fast from all four days

But I would rather go without food for four days
Than drink so much in one.

Than drink so much in just one.

DOMITIUS ENOBARBUS

Ha, my brave emperor!

Ha, my brave emperor!

To MARK ANTONY

Shall we dance now the Egyptian Bacchanals,

Shall we now dance the Egyptian dances

And celebrate our drink?

POMPEY

Let's ha't, good soldier.

Let's have it, good soldier.

MARK ANTONY

Come, let's all take hands,

Come on, let's all take hands,

Till that the conquering wine hath steep'd our sense

Until that powerful wine has bathed our senses

In soft and delicate Lethe.

In the river of forgetfulness.

DOMITIUS ENOBARBUS

All take hands.

Everyone join hands.

Make battery to our ears with the loud music:

Assault our ears with the loud music:

The while I'll place you: then the boy shall sing;

And I'll put you together: then the boy will sing;

The holding every man shall bear as loud

And every man shall sing aloud as loudly

As his strong sides can volley.

As his strong body can manage.

Music plays. DOMITIUS ENOBARBUS places them hand in hand

THE SONG.Come, thou monarch of the vine,

Come, you king of the grape vine,

Plumpy Bacchus with pink eyne!

Fat Bacchus with pink eyes!

In thy fats our cares be drown'd,

In your fats our worries are drowned,

With thy grapes our hairs be crown'd:

With your grapes our heads are crowned:

Cup us, till the world go round,

May we drink until the world goes round

Cup us, till the world go round!

May we drink until the world goes round!

OCTAVIUS CAESAR

What would you more? Pompey, good night. Good brother,

What more can you want? Pompey, good night. Good brother,

Let me request you off: our graver business

Let me request that you come with me, our more serious business

Frowns at this levity. Gentle lords, let's part;

Frowns at this playing around. Gentlemen, let's separate;

You see we have burnt our cheeks: strong Enobarb

You see we have gone all flushed: strong Enobarb

Is weaker than the wine; and mine own tongue

Is weaker than wine; and my own talking

Splits what it speaks: the wild disguise hath almost

Is slurred: the wild disguise has almost

Antick'd us all. What needs more words? Good night.

made fools of us all. Need I say more? Good night.

Good Antony, your hand.

Antony, give me your hand.

POMPEY

I'll try you on the shore.

I'll meet you on the shore.

MARK ANTONY

And shall, sir; give's your hand.

I will, sir; give me your hand.

POMPEY

O Antony,