The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (2 page)

Thy nephew and right royal sovereign.

Philip of France, rightly and acting faithfully on behalf

of the son of your dead brother Geoffrey,

Arthur Plantagenet, makes a legally justified claim

to this fair island and its dependencies,

Ireland, Poitiers, Anjou, Touraine, Maine,

asking you to withdraw the forces

which falsely hold these titles,

and to hand them over into the hands of young Arthur,

your nephew and the true king.

KING JOHN.

What follows if we disallow of this?

What will happen if we disagree with this?

CHATILLON.

The proud control of fierce and bloody war,

To enforce these rights so forcibly withheld.

You will have to face a fierce and bloody war,

for the return of these rights which you withhold by force.

KING JOHN.

Here have we war for war, and blood for blood,

Controlment for controlment- so answer France.

We can answer with war for war, blood for blood,

force for force–tell France that.

CHATILLON.

Then take my king's defiance from my mouth-

The farthest limit of my embassy.

Then accept the defiance of the King from me–

that's as far as my remit allows me.

KING JOHN.

Bear mine to him, and so depart in peace;

Be thou as lightning in the eyes of France;

For ere thou canst report I will be there,

The thunder of my cannon shall be heard.

So hence! Be thou the trumpet of our wrath

And sullen presage of your own decay.

An honourable conduct let him have-

Pembroke, look to 't. Farewell, Chatillon.

Take mine to him, and so leave peacefully;

you must be like lightning, warning France;

because before you can speak to him I will be there,

you shall hear the thunder of my cannons.

So go! You can be the warning of my anger

and the dismal announcer of your own downfall.

Make sure he has a good escort–

see to it, Pembroke. Farewell Chatillon.

Exeunt CHATILLON and PEMBROKE

ELINOR.

What now, my son! Have I not ever said

How that ambitious Constance would not cease

Till she had kindled France and all the world

Upon the right and party of her son?

This might have been prevented and made whole

With very easy arguments of love,

Which now the manage of two kingdoms must

With fearful bloody issue arbitrate.

What about that, my son! Haven't I always said

that the ambitious Constance would not stop

until she had France and the whole world fighting

to support her son's rights and his followers?

This could have been avoided and put right

with very simple friendly behaviour,

and now the question of who rules two kingdoms

must be settled by terrible bloody war.

KING JOHN.

Our strong possession and our right for us!

We are in possession, and that means right is on our side!

ELINOR.

Your strong possession much more than your right,

Or else it must go wrong with you and me;

So much my conscience whispers in your ear,

Which none but heaven and you and I shall hear.

The strong grip you have is much more important than your rights,

if it isn't, you and I will be in trouble;

this is what I think deep down,

but nobody but you and God will hear it.

Enter a SHERIFF

ESSEX.

My liege, here is the strangest controversy

Come from the country to be judg'd by you

That e'er I heard. Shall I produce the men?

My lord, I have here the strangest disagreement

that I ever heard, with men come from the country

to have your judgement. Shall I bring them in?

KING JOHN.

Let them approach.

Exit SHERIFF

Our abbeys and our priories shall pay

This expedition's charge.

Yes, bring them in.

The abbeys and the priories will pay

for the cost of this war.

Enter ROBERT FAULCONBRIDGE and PHILIP, his bastard brother

What men are you?

Who are you?

BASTARD.

Your faithful subject I, a gentleman

Born in Northamptonshire, and eldest son,

As I suppose, to Robert Faulconbridge-

A soldier by the honour-giving hand

Of Coeur-de-lion knighted in the field.

I am a faithful subject of yours, a gentleman

born in Northamptonshire, and the eldest son,

I believe, of Robert Faulconbridge–

a soldier who was knighted on the battlefield

by Richard the Lionheart.

KING JOHN.

What art thou?

And who are you?

ROBERT.

The son and heir to that same Faulconbridge.

I am the son and heir of that same Faulconbridge.

KING JOHN.

Is that the elder, and art thou the heir?

You came not of one mother then, it seems.

He's older than you, and you are the heir?

So it seems you don't have the same mother.

BASTARD.

Most certain of one mother, mighty king-

That is well known- and, as I think, one father;

But for the certain knowledge of that truth

I put you o'er to heaven and to my mother.

Of that I doubt, as all men's children may.

We certainly share the same mother, mighty King–

that is well known–and, I think, the same father;

but to have that proved for certain

you would have to ask heaven and my mother.

I have doubts about that, as any person may.

ELINOR.

Out on thee, rude man! Thou dost shame thy mother,

And wound her honour with this diffidence.

Damn you, rude man! You are shaming your mother,

and insulting her honour with these doubts.

BASTARD.

I, madam? No, I have no reason for it-

That is my brother's plea, and none of mine;

The which if he can prove, 'a pops me out

At least from fair five hundred pound a year.

Heaven guard my mother's honour and my land!

Me, madam? No, I have no reason to do it;

that is what my brother says, not me;

if he can prove it he deprives me

of at least five hundred pounds a year.

May heaven protect the honour of my mother and my property!

KING JOHN.

A good blunt fellow. Why, being younger born,

Doth he lay claim to thine inheritance?

A good straightforward chap. Why, as he is the younger,

does he claim your inheritance?

BASTARD.

I know not why, except to get the land.

But once he slander'd me with bastardy;

But whe'er I be as true begot or no,

That still I lay upon my mother's head;

But that I am as well begot, my liege-

Fair fall the bones that took the pains for me!-

Compare our faces and be judge yourself.

If old Sir Robert did beget us both

And were our father, and this son like him-

O old Sir Robert, father, on my knee

I give heaven thanks I was not like to thee!

I don't know why, except that he wants the land.

He did once slander me by calling a bastard;

but whether I am legitimately born or not

I leave to the evidence of my mother;

but that I am nobly born, my lord–

may good come to those who created me!–

Compare our faces and judge for yourself.

If Sir Robert created us both

and was our father, and this son is like him,

oh old Sir Robert, father, I give heaven

thanks upon my knees that I don't look like you!

KING JOHN.

Why, what a madcap hath heaven lent us here!

Why, what a lunatic heaven has sent to us!

ELINOR.

He hath a trick of Coeur-de-lion's face;

The accent of his tongue affecteth him.

Do you not read some tokens of my son

In the large composition of this man?

He looks rather like the Lionheart;

his voice also sounds like him.

Can't you see some elements of my son

in this man's make up?

KING JOHN.

Mine eye hath well examined his parts

And finds them perfect Richard. Sirrah, speak,

What doth move you to claim your brother's land?

I've had a good look over him

and I think he's just like Richard. Speak, sir,

what makes you claim your brother's property?

BASTARD.

Because he hath a half-face, like my father.

With half that face would he have all my land:

A half-fac'd groat five hundred pound a year!

Because he has a profile like my father.

He thinks that profile should give him all my land:

that imperfect coin wants five hundred pounds a year!

ROBERT.

My gracious liege, when that my father liv'd,

Your brother did employ my father much-

My good lord, when my father was alive,

your brother often employed my father–

BASTARD.

Well, sir, by this you cannot get my land:

Your tale must be how he employ'd my mother.

Well, sir, you won't get my land like this:

you must explain how he employed my mother.

ROBERT.

And once dispatch'd him in an embassy

To Germany, there with the Emperor

To treat of high affairs touching that time.

Th' advantage of his absence took the King,

And in the meantime sojourn'd at my father's;

Where how he did prevail I shame to speak-

But truth is truth: large lengths of seas and shores

Between my father and my mother lay,

As I have heard my father speak himself,

When this same lusty gentleman was got.

Upon his death-bed he by will bequeath'd

His lands to me, and took it on his death

That this my mother's son was none of his;

And if he were, he came into the world

Full fourteen weeks before the course of time.

Then, good my liege, let me have what is mine,

My father's land, as was my father's will.

And he once sent him as ambassador

to Germany, to discuss important matters

of the time with the Emperor.

The King took advantage of his absence,

staying at my father's place,

and I'm ashamed to say how he succeeded there;