The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (129 page)

Ill-conceived ambition, how you have shrunk!

when this body contained a spirit,

a kingdom was not big enough for it;

but now a couple of yards of low earth

is room enough.The earth that supports you dead

does not support a greater living man.

If you could hear what I'm saying,

I wouldn't be so polite about you:

but let my banner hide your mangled face;

and I'll thank myself on your behalf

for conducting these gentle last rites.

Goodbye, and take your fame with you to Heaven!

May your bad deeds stay in your grave,

and not be the way you are remembered!

What, my old friend?Couldn't all this flesh

retain a little life?Poor Jack, farewell!

I could have better spared a better man:

Oh, I would miss you greatly,

if I was in love with frivolity!

Death didn't hit a fatter target today,

though many better, in this bloody battle.

I'll see that you are buried soon:

until then lie in your blood next to noble Percy.

[Exit.]

FAL.

[Rising.] Embowell'd! if thou embowel me to-day, I'll give you leave

to powder me and eat me too to-morrow. 'Sblood, 'twas time to

counterfeit, or that hot termagant Scot had paid me scot and lot too.

Counterfeit! I lie; I am no counterfeit:to die, is to be a

counterfeit; for he is but the counterfeit of a man who hath not the

life of a man:but to counterfeit dying, when a man thereby liveth,

is to be no counterfeit, but the true and perfect image of life indeed.

The better part of valour is discretion; in the which better part I

have saved my life.--

Zwounds, I am afraid of this gunpowder Percy, though he be dead:how,

if he should counterfeit too, and rise? by my faith, I am afraid he

would prove the better counterfeit. Therefore I'll make him sure; yea,

and I'll swear I kill'd him. Why may not he rise as well as I?

Nothing confutes me but eyes, and nobody sees me. Therefore,

sirrah, with a new wound in your thigh, come you along with me.

Buried! If you bury me today, I'll give you permission

to pickle me and eat me tomorrow. By God, it was a time

to fake it, or that passionate quarrelling Scot would have finished me off.

Fake! I'm lying; I am not a fake: to die, is to be a

fake; for if you don't have the life of a man then you are just the imitation

of one: but to fake dying, in order to keep a man alive,

that is not faking, but the perfection of life.

The best part of valour is discretion; and using that better part I

have saved my life–

By God, I am afraid of this fiery Percy, although he is dead:

what if he is faking to, and gets up? By God, I am afraid he

would be a better faker. So I'll make sure of him; yes,

and I'll swear that I killed him. Why shouldn't he get up the same as I did?

Nobody could contradict me except an eyewitness, and there's nobody here. Therefore, Sir, with a new wound in your thigh, you come along with me.

[Takes Hotspur on his hack.]

[Re-enter Prince Henry and Lancaster.]

PRINCE.

Come, brother John; full bravely hast thou flesh'd

Thy maiden sword.

Come, brother John; you have done a good job

with your virgin sword.

LAN.

But, soft! whom have we here?

Did you not tell me this fat man was dead?

But wait! What's this?

Didn't you tell me this fat man was dead?

PRINCE.

I did; I saw him dead, breathless and bleeding

Upon the ground.--

Art thou alive? or is it fantasy

That plays upon our eyesight? I pr'ythee, speak;

We will not trust our eyes without our ears.

Thou art not what thou seem'st.

I did; I saw him dead, breathless and bleeding

on the ground.

Are you alive? Or is it

a trick of the light? I beg you, speak;

we won't trust our eyes without our ears.

You are not what you seem.

FAL.

No, that's certain; I am not a double man:but if I be not

Jack Falstaff, then am I a Jack. There is Percy![Throwing the

body down.] if your father will do me any honour, so; if not, let

him kill the next Percy himself. I look to be either earl or

duke, I can assure you.

No, that's certain; I am not an apparition: but if I am not

Jack Falstaff, then I am a knave: there is Percy!

If your father wants to honour me for it, good; if not,

he can kill the next Percy himself. I can tell you I think I should be

either an earl or Duke.

PRINCE.

Why, Percy I kill'd myself, and saw thee dead.

Why, I killed Percy myself, and saw you dead.

FAL.

Didst thou?-- Lord, Lord, how this world is given to lying!--

I grant you I was down and out of breath; and so was he:but

we rose both at an instant, and fought a long hour by Shrewsbury

clock. If I may be believed, so; if not, let them that should

reward valour bear the sin upon their own heads. I'll take it upon

my death, I gave him this wound in the thigh:if the man were

alive, and would deny it, zwounds, I would make him eat a piece of

my sword.

Did you? Lord, Lord, how many liars there are in this world!

I admit I was down and out of breath; and so was he: but

we both rose at the same time, and fought for a long hour

by Shrewsbury clock. If you will believe me, good; if not, let those

who should reward bravery carry the sin on their heads. I swear

on my life, I gave him this wound in the thigh: if there is any man

alive who wants to deny it, by God, I will make him eat some of

my sword.

LAN.

This is the strangest tale that ever I heard.

This is the strangest tale I ever heard.

PRINCE.

This is the strangest fellow, brother John.--

Come, bring your luggage nobly on your back:

For my part, if a lie may do thee grace,

I'll gild it with the happiest terms I have.--

This is the strangest fellow, brother John.

Come, carry your luggage nobly on your back:

as for me, if a lie will do you good,

I'll help it along as best I can–

[A retreat is sounded.]

The trumpet sounds retreat; the day is ours.

Come, brother, let's to th' highest of the field,

To see what friends are living, who are dead.

The trumpet sounds the retreat; we have won.

Come, brother, let's go to the highest point of the battlefield,

to see what friends are alive, and who has died.

[Exeunt Prince Henry and Lancaster.]

FAL.

I'll follow, as they say, for reward. He that rewards me, God

reward him! If I do grow great, I'll grow less; for I'll purge,

and leave sack, and live cleanly as a nobleman should do.

I'll follow, as they say, for reward. Whoever rewards me, may

God reward him! If I become great, I shall shrink; for I will starve myself,

and leave off drinking, and live a clean life as a nobleman should.

[Exit, bearing off the body.]

[The trumpets sound. Enter King Henry, Prince Henry,

Lancaster, Westmoreland, and others, with Worcester and

Vernon prisoners.]

KING.

Thus ever did rebellion find rebuke.--

Ill-spirited Worcester! did not we send grace,

Pardon, and terms of love to all of you?

And wouldst thou turn our offers contrary?

Misuse the tenour of thy kinsman's trust?

Three knights upon our party slain to-day,

A noble earl, and many a creature else,

Had been alive this hour,

If, like a Christian, thou hadst truly borne

Betwixt our armies true intelligence.

And so rebellions have always failed.

Ill spirited Worcester! Didn't we offer forgiveness,

pardon, and love to all of you?

And you had to turn our offers down?

You abused the trust your kinsman placed in you.

Three knights from our army were killed today,

a noble Earl, and many other men,

who would have been alive now,

if you had behaved like a Christian and

truthfully carried the messages between our armies.

WOR.

What I have done my safety urged me to;

And I embrace this fortune patiently,

Since not to be avoided it fails on me.

I did what I had to for my own safety;

and I stoically accept my fate,

since it is unavoidable.

KING.

Bear Worcester to the death, and Vernon too:

Other offenders we will pause upon.--

[Exeunt Worcester and Vernon, guarded.]

How goes the field?

Take Worcester to be executed, and Vernon too:

we will suspend sentence on the other offenders–

how is the battle?

PRINCE.

The noble Scot, Lord Douglas, when he saw

The fortune of the day quite turn'd from him,

The noble Percy slain, and all his men

Upon the foot of fear, fled with the rest;

And, falling from a hill, he was so bruised

That the pursuers took him. At my tent

The Douglas is:and I beseech your Grace

I may dispose of him.

The noble Scot, Lord Douglas, when he saw

that the tide had quite turned against him,

with the noble Percy slain, and all his men

running in fear, he ran with the rest;

and, falling down a hill, he was so injured

that the pursuers captured him. The Douglas

is in my tent: and I beg your grace

that I be allowed to dispose of him.

KING.

With all my heart.

Of course.

PRINCE.

Then, brother John of Lancaster, to you

This honourable bounty shall belong:

Go to the Douglas, and deliver him