The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (12 page)

War! War! No peace! Peace is like a war to me.

O Limoges! Oh Austria! You are shaming

that bloody trophy. You slave, you wretch, you coward!

You have little bravery, and great villainy!

You always side with the strongest!

You are the champion of Fortune, you never fight

except when luck is on your side

to make sure you are safe! You are also a perjurer,

and you creep and crawl to great men. What a fool you are,

a raging fool, to brag and stamp and swear

at my party! You cold-blooded slave,

haven't you spoken like thunder for my party,

been sworn in as my soldier, telling me to trust

in your luck, your stars and your strength,

and now you are revolting against me with my enemies?

You, wearing the lion's skin! Take it off out of shame,

and put a calfskin on your cowardly limbs.

AUSTRIA.

O that a man should speak those words to me!

I wish a man would say those things to me!

BASTARD.

And hang a calf's-skin on those recreant limbs.

Put a calfskin on your cowardly limbs.

AUSTRIA.

Thou dar'st not say so, villain, for thy life.

You wouldn't dare to say that, villain, it'll cost you your life.

BASTARD.

And hang a calf's-skin on those recreant limbs.

And put a calfskin on your cowardly limbs.

KING JOHN.

We like not this: thou dost forget thyself.

I don't like this: you are forgetting yourself.

Enter PANDULPH

KING PHILIP.

Here comes the holy legate of the Pope.

Here comes the holy representative of the Pope.

PANDULPH.

Hail, you anointed deputies of heaven!

To thee, King John, my holy errand is.

I Pandulph, of fair Milan cardinal,

And from Pope Innocent the legate here,

Do in his name religiously demand

Why thou against the Church, our holy mother,

So wilfully dost spurn; and force perforce

Keep Stephen Langton, chosen Archbishop

Of Canterbury, from that holy see?

This, in our foresaid holy father's name,

Pope Innocent, I do demand of thee.

Greetings, you chosen representatives of heaven!

My holy errand is to you, King John.

I, Pandulph, cardinal of fair Milan,

and the representative of Pope Innocent here,

to religiously demand in his name to know

why you are wilfully disobeying the orders of

the church, our holy mother; why are you using force

to keep Stephen Langton, chosen Archbishop

of Canterbury, from his holy office?

I ask you the question in the name of

ouraforementioned holy father, Pope Innocent.

KING JOHN.

What earthly name to interrogatories

Can task the free breath of a sacred king?

Thou canst not, Cardinal, devise a name

So slight, unworthy, and ridiculous,

To charge me to an answer, as the Pope.

Tell him this tale, and from the mouth of England

Add thus much more, that no Italian priest

Shall tithe or toll in our dominions;

But as we under heaven are supreme head,

So, under Him that great supremacy,

Where we do reign we will alone uphold,

Without th' assistance of a mortal hand.

So tell the Pope, all reverence set apart

To him and his usurp'd authority.

What earthly man has a right to demand answers

from a free and sacred king?

You couldn't invent a name, Cardinal,

so insignificant, unworthy and silly

to demand an answer from me, as the Pope.

Tell him this, and from the mouth of England's King

add this as well, that no Italian priest

will be allowed to raise taxes or tolls in my kingdom;

as I am the supreme ruler on earth,

so, under the guidance of the supreme God,

where I rule I will rule alone,

without the assistance of a mortal man.

Tell the Pope this, that there is no respect

for him or his stolen power.

KING PHILIP.

Brother of England, you blaspheme in this.

Brother of England, this is blasphemy.

KING JOHN.

Though you and all the kings of Christendom

Are led so grossly by this meddling priest,

Dreading the curse that money may buy out,

And by the merit of vile gold, dross, dust,

Purchase corrupted pardon of a man,

Who in that sale sells pardon from himself-

Though you and all the rest, so grossly led,

This juggling witchcraft with revenue cherish;

Yet I alone, alone do me oppose

Against the Pope, and count his friends my foes.

Although you and all the kings of Christendom

are led so disgracefully by this meddling priest,

dreading the curse that you can bribe your way out of,

and by using vile gold, dross, dust,

you can buy a corrupted pardon from a man

who in the selling sells his own right to a pardon–

though you and all the rest are so disgracefully led,

supporting this juggling witchcraft with funds;

I set myself alone to oppose

the Pope, and I regard his friends as my enemies.

PANDULPH.

Then by the lawful power that I have

Thou shalt stand curs'd and excommunicate;

And blessed shall he be that doth revolt

From his allegiance to an heretic;

And meritorious shall that hand be call'd,

Canonized, and worshipp'd as a saint,

That takes away by any secret course

Thy hateful life.

Then by the power invested in me

I say you are cursed and excommunicated;

anyone who revolts against his allegiance

to a heretic shall be blessed;

and anyone who takes away your

revolting life by any means at all

shall be called a deserving man

and shall be canonised and worshipped as a saint.

CONSTANCE.

O, lawful let it be

That I have room with Rome to curse awhile!

Good father Cardinal, cry thou 'amen'

To my keen curses; for without my wrong

There is no tongue hath power to curse him right.

Oh, let it be legal

for me to join in with Rome in this cursing!

Good father Cardinal, cry out “amen"

to my sharp curses; for without my wrongs

your tongue does not have the power to curse him rightly.

PANDULPH.

There's law and warrant, lady, for my curse.

I have legal justification and permission, lady, for my curse.

CONSTANCE.

And for mine too; when law can do no right,

Let it be lawful that law bar no wrong;

Law cannot give my child his kingdom here,

For he that holds his kingdom holds the law;

Therefore, since law itself is perfect wrong,

How can the law forbid my tongue to curse?

And for mine too; when the law cannot do right,

let it be lawful for it not to bar any wrong;

law cannot give my child his kingdom here,

because the one who rules the kingdom makes the laws;

so, since the law itself is completely wrong,

how can the law ban me from cursing?

PANDULPH.

Philip of France, on peril of a curse,

Let go the hand of that arch-heretic,

And raise the power of France upon his head,

Unless he do submit himself to Rome.

Philip of France, unless you want to be cursed,

release the hand of that arch heretic,

and attack him with the forces of France,

unless he bows down to Rome.

ELINOR.

Look'st thou pale, France? Do not let go thy hand.

Why are you looking pale, France? Don't release his hand.

CONSTANCE.

Look to that, devil, lest that France repent

And by disjoining hands hell lose a soul.

The devil wants that, in case France should repent

and by releasing his hand hell will lose a soul.

AUSTRIA.

King Philip, listen to the Cardinal.

King Philip, listen to the Cardinal.

BASTARD.

And hang a calf's-skin on his recreant limbs.

And put a calfskin on his cowardly limbs.

AUSTRIA.

Well, ruffian, I must pocket up these wrongs,

Because-

Well, scoundrel, I must put these insults in my pocket,

because–

BASTARD.

Your breeches best may carry them.

Your trousers are the best place for them.

KING JOHN.

Philip, what say'st thou to the Cardinal?

Philip, how will you answer the cardinal?

CONSTANCE.

What should he say, but as the Cardinal?

What can he say, except what the cardinal says?

LEWIS.

Bethink you, father; for the difference

Is purchase of a heavy curse from Rome

Or the light loss of England for a friend.

Forgo the easier.

Think carefully, father; on the one hand

you could get a heavy curse from Rome,

on the other is the easy loss of England as a friend.

Take the easier course.

BLANCH.

That's the curse of Rome.

That's accepting the curse of Rome.

CONSTANCE.

O Lewis, stand fast! The devil tempts thee here

In likeness of a new untrimmed bride.

Oh Louis, be strong! The devil is tempting you,

disguised as a virgin bride.

BLANCH.

The Lady Constance speaks not from her faith,

But from her need.

Lady Constance isn't saying what she believes,

she's speaking according to what she wants.

CONSTANCE.

O, if thou grant my need,

Which only lives but by the death of faith,

That need must needs infer this principle-

That faith would live again by death of need.

O then, tread down my need, and faith mounts up:

Keep my need up, and faith is trodden down!

O, if you give me what I want,

which I'm only lacking due to faithlessness,

then you must need to think of this–

that faith would live again if the want was removed.

So, give me what I want, and faith increases:

reject me, and you trample on faith.

KING JOHN.

The King is mov'd, and answers not to this.

The King is disturbed, and doesn't answer this.