The Click Trilogy (17 page)
Authors: Lisa Becker
From: Shelley Manning – August 1, 2011 – 11:15 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: 8th Grade Flashbacks :(
Oooh. You know
I
like them dirty. ;)
From: [email protected] – August 4, 2011 – 11:02 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Grab some dinner?
Hi Renee. It was great to meet you the other day. I'm going to be in LA in a few weeks and thought that maybe we could grab some dinner. Let me know if you are interested.
From: Renee Greene – August 4, 2011 – 11:07 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Fwd: Grab some dinner?
I have NO CLUE who this is from. He's not one of these Internet guys, because those all come via the service. And, I hid my profile for a while anyway. I'm racking my brains, but just can't think of who the heck this could be from. Thoughts?
From: Shelley Manning – August 4, 2011 – 11:17 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Grab some dinner?
Hmmm. Think. Did you have any business meetings? Did you give your number out to anyone when we met for drinks at Flints last week? Nothing worse than an email from some random guy who wants to go out with you but you have no clue if he's a hottie or nottie or naughty (Ha! Ha!).
Although, nothing better than finding out that some random guy who wants to go out with you IS a hottie. Dilemma? Yes. Solution? Yes. Just make plans. If worse comes to worse, you can always call Miss Priss and do the fake emergency thing again. That seemed to work well for you a few months ago.
From: [email protected] – August 4, 2011 – 12:15 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Grab some dinner?
Just realized that you probably have NO clue who that email was from. This is Jason Kite. We met at the MTV event in Vegas. Anyway, we're playing a few nights at the Roxy and I thought that you might be able to meet up for dinner at some point while I'm in town. Could also score tickets to the show for you if you want to come. Hope to hear from you.
From: Renee Greene – August 4, 2011 – 2:19 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Fwd: Fwd: Grab some dinner?
Okay. Am I just imaging things or is Jason Kite asking me on a date? A rock star wants to have dinner with me. Pinch me. I must be dreaming.
From: Shelley Manning – August 4, 2011 – 3:18 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Grab some dinner?
Holy crap! That is so awesome. And you thought he was just being nice to you out of pity. No, this man has good instincts and real smarts. He recognized right away that you were the quality among the quantity. Have dinner with him and get tickets for the show. Ask for backstage passes, too. The lead singer is a hottie and I want to meet him.
From: Renee Greene – August 4, 2011 – 4:47 PM
Subject: Re: Fwd: Grab some dinner?
Hi Jason. Thanks for the follow up email. I must confess, your email address did leave me racking my brain to figure out who exactly you were. Not that I give my info out to that many people. But, I just didn't expect to hear from you. I would love to meet up for dinner when you are in town. Are you sure you are going to have time? I'd think you’d be busy with sound checks, wardrobe checks, press interviews, etc. And, since you so kindly offered, I would love a few tickets to the show. My friend is really excited about seeing you guys in concert. Let me know what works for you.
From: [email protected] – August 4, 2011 – 7:18 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Grab some dinner?
Sorry about that. I've got a real random email address so that I can have some anonymity when I'm ordering books online and other stuff like that. Yes, believe it or not, I read. ;) We are going to be pretty busy, but I would really like to make the time to see you. I really enjoyed talking with you at the MTV event. You seem really real. I know that must sound
weird. But in this business, it's hard to meet people who are real. The other guys in the band are still really into this whole lifestyle, but I'm getting a bit tired of all of the phoniness and stuff. Wow! Didn't mean to get so deep on you. Anyway, I'll be coming into town on the 15th. Our shows are on the 17th and 18th. So, I could do dinner on the 16th or 19th and then if you want to come to the show either night, I'll get you and your friends backstage. Tell me how many tickets you need.
From: Renee Greene – August 4, 2011 – 8:27 PM
Subject: Re: Fwd: Grab some dinner?
I can understand the whole "real" thing, believe me. I bet it's hard to be living on the road and surrounded by people that probably want something from you. Dinner on the 16th sounds great. And, if I could get two tickets for the concert on the 17th, that would be great too. One for me and one for my friend.
From: [email protected] – August 4, 2011 – 9:36 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Grab some dinner?
Two tickets, that's all? No problem. See, you are real. Most people hear "free tickets" and ask for like 20. I'll arrange for them to be at will call under your name. I'm really glad you are free for dinner. Why don't I give you a call at your office on Wednesday or Thursday and we can figure out the details. Sound good?
From: Renee Greene – August 4, 2011 – 9:39 PM
Subject: Re: Fwd: Grab some dinner?
That sounds great. I'll talk with you soon.
From: Renee Greene – August 5, 2011 – 9:16 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: All Access
You are cordially invited to see Marsh 7 (BACKSTAGE!!!!) with me on Wednesday, August 17th. So, mark your calendar. Jason is going to have two tickets reserved for us at will call and I'm having dinner with him the night before. This is REALLY WEIRD.
From: Shelley Manning – August 5, 2011 – 10:31 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: All Access
YAHOO! WOW! I am so excited. Did you tell him that I think the lead singer is totally hot and that I'm excited to meet him? I can't believe you are having dinner with him. Where are you guys going? Is he picking you up? in a limo? in a touring van? As always, DETAILS!!!
From: Renee Greene – August 5, 2011 – 2:57 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: All Access
No details to share yet. We haven't figured out all of that stuff. He's going to call me a few days before and we'll decide. I just wonder if he does this in every city. You know. Maybe he's tired of the groupies who are just there at his beck and call and wants a challenge. So, he picks some normal person and tries to woo them.
I'm also wondering if we have anything in common. I mean, I work for a PR firm. My clients make paint and cooking oil. What, if anything, will we have to talk about? He's a rock star for god sakes. And no, I did not tell him that you wanted to jump the lead singer. I thought that might be better conversation over dinner. ;)
From: Shelley Manning – August 5, 2011 – 4:07 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: All Access
Yeah, explaining that I'm willing to do ANYTHING for the lead singer is probably good first-date conversation for you. But, more importantly, I highly doubt that he asked you out as some sort of game or quest. Did you ever, for once, consider the fact that he asked you out because you are smart and beautiful? No, that would likely never occur to you, my self confidence-challenged friend. If I have to remind you one more time that you have got to realize how incredible you are, I'm going to...well, I just don't know what I'm going to do. But, it won't be pretty. Trust me. Just try to go with it. And, when have you ever been at a loss for words. My god! You could talk the ear off of a deaf man on a hot summer day. Conversation will be the least of your worries.
From: Renee Greene – August 5, 2011 – 4:31 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: All Access
What should I be worried about, then? JUST KIDDING. You're right. Well, I gotta run, my groupie friend. I actually have REAL work to do. I'll talk with you tonight.
From: Renee Greene – August 8, 2011 – 11:13 AM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Price, Mark Finlay
Subject: Worst Nightmare Realized
Well, worst
career
nightmare. (Honestly, I think I’ve already lived through the worst dating nightmares possible!) So, I vowed that in my public relations career, I would never don a mascot costume. I never wanted to be the poor schlub roasting away in a hot mess of fur shaking hands with people at a mall or ballgame. And fortunately for me, during the early years of PR agency life in New York, I escaped mascot duty. I figured that as I moved up the corporate ladder, I would subject interns and other junior staff to this form of professional torture. But my worst nightmare has been realized. Our agency has prepared a game show for a client’s sales meeting and one of the team members is sick. So, at the last minute,
MY
boss has dictated that I have to fly to Minneapolis (no, that’s not the nightmare part, but it’s close!) to play the role of Spamma White, game show hostess. Someone else will be portraying Pat Laidback, game show host. I need to wear an old bridesmaid’s dress they found at a resale shop, smile incessantly and hand out Rice ‘a Roni as consolation prizes to people who get the answers wrong.
From: Shelley Manning – August 8, 2011 – 11:17 AM
To: Renee Greene, Ashley Price, Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Worst Nightmare Realized
I hear humiliation is the new black. You wear it well, you fashion goddess, you.
From: Ashley Price – August 8, 2011 – 12:05 PM
To: Renee Greene, Shelley Manning,
Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Worst Nightmare Realized
I think I’m going to pee in my pants from laughing. You MUST take photos.
From: Mark Finlay – August 8, 2011 – 12:11 PM
To: Renee Greene, Shelley Manning, Ashley Price
Subject: Re: Worst Nightmare Realized
I think that’s kind of clever.
From: Renee Greene – August 8, 2011 – 1:15 PM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Price, Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Worst Nightmare Realized
Mark, seriously? I know there are other indignities and injustices in the world that certainly trump this. But, I still think this form of public embarrassment is completely and utterly horrifying. Well, if this doesn’t get me reincarnated in my next life as a tall, leggy blonde, I don’t know WHAT will.
From: Renee Greene – August 11, 2011 – 9:27 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Public Humiliation – Part Deux
So, I thought dressing up like Spamma White would be the biggest humiliation of my lifetime. Well, it wasn’t even the biggest humiliation of TODAY. We were up all last night rehearsing for the game show presentation. I slept for maybe two hours.
And since I don’t drink coffee, I had no caffeine to keep me up. By the time the presentation rolled around, I was running on adrenaline and fumes. So, when I got on my flight home, I found three empty seats together, pulled up the arm rests, laid down and promptly fell asleep.
After a few hours, I woke up, stretched and went to use the ladies room. Every man on that flight was staring at me. I thought, can’t a young professional woman take a flight for business without getting leers and stares from men. Really!
Well, I got to the bathroom to find the middle button on my blouse had popped open and my black lace bra was fully exposed for EVERYONE to see. Needless to say, I buttoned up and walked back to my seat with blinders on. I’ve never been more mortified in my entire life.
From: Shelley Manning – August 12, 2011 – 8:02 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Public Humiliation – Part Deux
Oh, sweetie. Visions of Cancun in college are dancing through my head. ;) Seriously, you don’t know any of them and will never see them again. You should feel proud. Not that I’m into women, but you’ve got a great rack. So what if a few lonely businessmen got their jollies? They probably went home and paid a bit more attention to their sex-starved wives. You really were doing a public service. And, don’t you have a date with a rock star in a week? I think he will appreciate a girl who knows how to flash.
Speaking of humiliation, I endured my own share the other night. I was caught – by the local police – “neked” in an apartment complex hot tub with a guy we will now refer to as Hot Head.
What is “neked” you might ask? Well, “naked” is having no clothes on. “Neked,” on the other hand, is having no clothes on and being up to no good. Let’s just say Hot Head was certainly “up” but I was really “good” until his neighbors called the cops. Hot Head got a little belligerent and ended up getting arrested. It was quite comical, really, albeit it a little embarrassing.
From: Renee Greene – August 12, 2011 – 8:10 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Public Humiliation – Part Deux
LOL! I do feel a bit better. Thanks.
From: Renee Greene – August 14, 2011 – 9:11 AM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Price
Subject: How much does porn cost and can I expense it?
Well, I figured the subject line would certainly catch your attention. So, we have a client that flew into town for a few days to take part in a media training session and video shoot. I pay for his hotel on my corporate credit card and then expense it back to his company. I get the receipt from the hotel today and I see a charge for $16.95 for a movie. Does it really cost that much to watch a movie in your room? Or was he watching porn? How do I expense porn?
From: Ashley Price – August 14, 2011 – 9:15 AM
To: Renee Greene, Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: How much does porn cost and can I expense it?
YUCK! That’s just gross. I would talk to HR about that one.
From: Shelley Manning – August 14, 2011 – 9:43 AM
To: Renee Greene, Ashley Price
Subject: Re: How much does porn cost and can I expense it?
Definitely porn. Gotta hand it to him, the guy sure has balls. HA! HA!
From: Renee Greene – August 14, 2011 – 9:45 AM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Price
Subject: Re: How much does porn cost and can I expense it?
LOL!!!!!!
From: Renee Greene – August 17, 2011 – 10:12 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Tonight’s the Night!
Hope you are psyched, jazzed, pumped, amped and overall totally stoked for the show tonight. I’ll pick you up at 6:30.
From: Shelley Manning – August 17, 2011 – 10:13 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Tonight’s the Night!
All of the above!!!!!
From: Renee Greene – August 18, 2011 – 9:05 AM
Subject: Thanks!
Jason: Thanks so much for dinner the other night. I had such a great time. I must confess, I was a bit skeptical about having dinner with you. I really didn't think we would have anything in common and sort of wondered why you would want to go out with a "normal" person. I mean, you've shown your refrigerator on “Cribs.” But it was so much fun getting to know you. Thanks also for the tickets to the show. My friend and I had the BEST time.
From: Renee Greene – August 18, 2011 – 9:18 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Groupie Much?
I’m guessing you had a good time last night. Sorry to have interrupted while you and the drummer were getting, uh, um, “acquainted” – in what looked like a bit of a hard-core “cuddle,” I might add – but I didn’t want to leave without making sure you were okay.
Jason was so sweet. I told him I would give him a ride back to his hotel, so we got in the car, drove over and then just talked for about 4 hours, with the motor running. When I got up this morning (from my own house…get your mind out of the gutter, girl!) and went to turn on the engine, the battery was dead. UGH! I had to get a jump (again, mind out of the gutter!) so I could get to the office.
But it was all worth it. I’m just sorry that he is leaving tomorrow for Bakersfield. I think if he was a normal person, we could really have something. It was a fun little fling, and the man knows how to kiss.
But I know it could never be anything more. We talked about trying to date from a distance and both agreed that it would be really hard. After seeing what goes on backstage with all of the women (no offense to you, dear friend), I don’t think I’m trusting enough to have a relationship like that.
From: Shelley Manning – August 18, 2011 – 11:07 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Groupie Much?
I had the BEST time last night. Steve is SO FRIGGIN HOT. I think I would cuddle for him! Wow! Did I just say that?!? What a great time. Thanks so much. When I saw the two of you leave together, I knew you wouldn’t sleep with him. After that fiasco with Matt, I just knew you wouldn’t jump in the sack with Jason. I, on the other hand, would and did and I’m not embarrassed to say so. So there! And, I must admit, your “had to get a jump” remark did cause a chuckle. You really know me too well. So, we’ve had our brushes with rock stars and can now go back to dating regular folk. At least it was fun while it lasted.
From: Renee Greene – August 18, 2011 – 12:01 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Groupie Much?
Regular folk? Oh no. Not me. I’ve got a date tomorrow night with Zac Efron. Did I forget to mention that?