The Bright Side (46 page)

She
was
already
on
the
doorstep
as
I
parked
the
car
that
Wednesday
afternoon.
I
waved
out
at
her
with
such
enthusiasm
that
I
almost
clipped
the
Mondeo
that
I
was planning
to
get
in
behind.
The
near-miss
played
havoc
with my
confidence
and
it
took
me
quite
a
while
to
get
myself into
position.
I
glanced
across
the
street
occasionally
as
I
fought
with
the
steering
wheel
like
Johnny
Weissmuller battling
a
rubber
crocodile
and
could
see
that
she
was
torn between
sympathy
and
hysterics
.

“You’ve had your hair cut,” she said when I finally came through her front gate. “Don’t worry. It’ll grow back.
”

We busied ourselves with small-talk until we were settled on the sofa with tea and biscuits. This was an old tactic of Nancy’s. In times of crisis, she always liked to ease herself in. I usually found that comforting in itself. On this occasion, however, she used the word “romance” about eight times – that was not so comforting. I tried not to change my expression when she did so. It wasn’t easy
.

“So,” she said, as I reached for the Garfield mug that she always gave me when I called around, “tell me.
”

I drank some tea and placed the mug on the floor by my foot. There didn’t seem to be anything for it but to come right out with the big news, the kicker-offer. “Gerry had sex with our next-door neighbour.
”

Nancy didn’t even blink. At first, I put it down to her legendary calmness and was more in awe of her than ever. Then I realised that she thought I was joking, and was waiting for me to tell her the real story
.

“I’m not kidding, Nancy,” I felt obliged to say. “He did the woman from next-door. Lisa. I caught them at it, Friday lunchtime. Saw them through the window, like in a
Carry
On
film.
”

Her
eyebrows
slowly
started
creeping
towards
her
hairline.
“I’ve
moved
out,”
I
went
on.
“For
a
while
at
least.
I’ve
been
staying
with
Melissa.
”

At last, Nancy found her voice. “This is a gag,” she said. “No,” I insisted. “It isn’t.
”

“But …
”

“There’re no buts about it.
”

She took a moment to let it sink in. “I don’t know what … I mean … how
could
he?
”

“Quite easily, by all accounts.
”

As usual, Nancy was wearing a cardigan and as usual, its sleeves were far too long. When she raised her hand and placed it over her mouth, only the tips of her fingers showed. This gesture, performed against the background of her elfin frame, gave her a suddenly child-like appearance. I felt as if I’d just told a little girl that there was no such thing as Santa and it wasn’t looking good for the Tooth Fairy either
.

“Now don’t you go getting upset,” I said, as her eyes moistened
.

“
Gerry
?” she bleated.

“Gerry. He said it was just the once.” “
Gerry
?
”

“Yes! For Christ’s sake! Gerry!
”

She put both hands – or sleeves rather – over her face and started to cry for real. A couple of seconds later, I joined her. She edged along the sofa and grabbed me around my neck, pulling me towards her for what turned into a hug but started out as a head-butt
.

“I’m so sorry!” she wailed. “Me too!” I wailed back
.

We stayed in that position for a while until my arched back began to ache and I pulled away
.

“I feel like such a shit,” Nancy said then
.

I dabbed at my cheeks with the backs of my hands. “You? Why?
”

She gulped. “David asked me to marry him.” “
What?
No!
”

“Yeah.
”

She tugged her left sleeve out of the way, revealing a fairly hefty rock on a platinum ring
.

“Nancy!
”

We resumed the hug, and the crying
.

“I’m sorry,” she sniffled into my shoulder, “but I had to tell you. I couldn’t sit here and not tell you …
”

“Don’t apologise,” I said. “It’s wonderful news.” “But Gerry …” she said and then became incoherent
.

When she calmed down again, I said, “I take it you accepted the proposal?
”

I felt her nodding. “And have you set a date?
”

She drew back from me and shook her head. “Not yet. David wants it to be soon, though. Anyway – never mind me. What are you going –
”

I
held
up
my
hand
to
interrupt
her.
“No.
Tell
me
about this
first.”
In
my
head
I added:
So
we
can
get it
out
of
the
way
. I
was
happy
for
her.
Of
course
I
was.
I’d
met
David
several times
and
he
was
a
lovely
man,
warm
and
gentle
and
caring
everything
Nancy
deserved
after
a
lifetime
of
getting turned over
by
losers
and
sociopaths.
But
I hadn’t
even
told her
about
Chrissy
and
Robert
yet.
We
had
a
lot
to
get
through and
I
wanted
her
full
attention
.

“Honestly,” I said. “Tell me.
”

“Jackie, are you sure –” “Go on. It’s OK.
”

She sighed. “He did it on our first night – what was that – the Friday.” Her face crumpled as she realised that Friday had been a pretty big day for me too
.

I
did
a
little
reassuring.
“I
want
to
hear
it,
Nancy.
Really.” “OK.
OK,
but
I’ll
be
quick.
Hang
on,
wait
‘til
I
get
a tissue.”
She
got
up
and
disappeared
into
the
kitchen, returning
with
two
wodges
of
kitchen
roll,
one
for
her,
one for
me.
We
attended
to
our
noses
and
she
started
up
again. “We
went
out
for
dinner,
which
was
wonderful.
Oh,
Jackie, the
restaurants
–
I’d
forgotten
what
they
were
like.
You
feel like
you’re
in
a
romantic
movie,
a
good
one,
an
old-fashioned one,
not
some
jokey
sex
thing
with,
I
dunno,
Cameron bloody
Diaz.
David
was
kind
of
fidgety
all
throughout,
but
I didn’t
pay
much
attention.
He
hates
flying
and
we’d
had
a few
bumps
on
the
way
over,
so
I
put
it
down
to
that.
Then, when
the
meal
was
finished,
he
said
we
should
go
for
a
walk along
the
Seine,
which
we
did.
It
was
so
beautiful,
beautiful buildings,
beautiful
boats,
beautiful
Parisians
strolling
past. He
kept
taking
my
hand
and
giving
it
a
little
squeeze
and then
letting
go,
you
know,
really
nervous.
I
asked
him
if
he had
something
on
his
mind
and
he
said
no,
his
dinner
wasn’t sitting
right,
which
I
found
hard
to
believe
because
the
food
was
sensational.
So
light,
but
full
of
flavour,
you
know?
”

For someone who didn’t want to tell the story, she wasn’t long getting into it, I thought but didn’t say
.

“Anyway.
We
could
see
the
Eiffel
Tower
way
off
in
the distance
and
next
thing
I
know,
David
pipes
up
that
we
should
go
and
see
it
right
then.
I
didn’t
want
to
because
I
was knackered
and
besides,
we
had
it
on
our
itinerary
for
the Sunday
afternoon
–
you
know
me
and
my
lists.
I
said
all
that to
him,
but
he
wouldn’t
take
no
for
an
answer.
He
got
almost angry
about
it,
which
was
out
of
character
for
him.
So
I
gave in,
not
very
graciously,
and
off
we
went
on
the
Metro
– which,
by
the
way,
is
great.
Really
efficient.
”