The Breakup Mix (7 page)

Chapter Eight

You Oughta Know

Alissa

I woke up feeling horrible again Monday morning, so I called in sick to work and made an appointment with my doctor. God, I hope I didn’t wait too long for that flu shot. I don’t have time to be hugging toilets and sleeping the day away. When I got home from Michelle’s, I went home, ate some soup, and went straight to bed.

I checked my phone and responded to a few email questions from my assistant, Cynthia, then told her I would be unavailable the rest of the day. She’s a smart cookie, so I trust her to call me if she needs me.

I sent a text to my girls:
Hey, have any of you been sick and shared your funk with me? I’m dying, just so you know.

Chance was the first to respond:
Quit fondling bartenders and you won’t get cooties. ;) Feel better soon, honey.

Katie was next
: Oh no! Are you still sick? Do you need me to bring you anything?

Dani said:
I’ve been healthy, but there’s an unusual flu virus going around right now. Better get it checked out.

Michelle didn’t respond, but she can’t when she’s with the kids at the daycare. I didn’t bother to respond to the texts, not that I had time before another wave of nausea sent me running to the bathroom.

My appointment was at eleven-thirty, but by eleven, I was certain I was doomed for the hospital, so I called Chance.

“Hey, girl, how are you feeling?” she asked.

I sniffled and cleared my throat. “I can’t drive. Can you come get me? My appointment is in thirty minutes.”

“Sure, I’ll be over in a minute.”

I hung up and jumped in the shower to wash the stench of illness off my body. I was dressed with my wet hair in a ponytail when Chance came in the front door.

“Lis? I’m here.”

I walked down the hallway to join her in the living room. “I’m not going to hug you even though I want to. Thanks for coming.”

“I have rubber gloves and a mask for you to wear. It’s nothing personal. It’s for my own protection.”

I chuckled. “Can we just go, please?”

In the car I reclined the seat to prevent an unfortunate mishap in Chance’s nice car. She didn’t talk to me, and I was grateful for it.

When we pulled into the parking lot of the doctor’s office, she asked, “Want me to stick around?”

“Yeah, if you can. I might need you to take my last will and testament before I die.”

She laughed and turned off the car. “You’re probably just hung over but I won’t tell anyone.”

I scoffed. “I would never do such a thing . . . twice.”

After I checked in, Chance and I sat in the waiting room. She looked sideways at me. “You really look like hell, Lis. If you’re dying, can I have your bank account?”

“Which one?” I chuckled.

“Any one of your accounts would probably set me up for life. I don’t want to be greedy, but I want the one with the most money in it——to mourn appropriately over your passing, of course.”

I shook my head and sighed. “I should have called Katie.”

“Yeah, probably, but this is way more fun for me than sitting at work. Have you heard anything out of Mark, yet?”

Her words stung like a slap; I even winced. “Nope, not a peep.” Tears welled up in my eyes and I blinked hard to make them go away.

“Man, he must have really got to you. I thought he was just ‘okay,’ but you’re taking this harder than you’ve been letting on.”

I sniffled and reached for a tissue. “I just don’t feel well. It’s messing with my emotions.”

“Mmhmm, you know, Lis, I can be sympathetic to heartbreak.”

I laughed. “Since when?”

She shrugged. “Good point. Hey, I made that CD for you, remember? I can be a good friend. We just need to go shoe shopping, and you’ll be good as new.”

The nurse stepped into the waiting room and called my name. I stood up. “Back in a flash, I hope.”

“Want me to go back with you?”

“Nah, I’m just going to get told it’s a virus and a flu shot. I’m wasting my time, but I’m still miserable. And probably dying.”

Chance chuckled. “You’re not dying. Go get better.” She pulled out her cell phone and I walked toward the nurse.

After the nurse took my temperature, blood pressure, and weight she said, “Well, the good news is you don’t have a fever.”

I did a double take. “Really? That’s surprising.”

“What was the date of your last period?”

I thought for a second. “I don’t know. I’d have to look at a calendar.”

“Are you sexually active? Any chance you could be pregnant?”

I laughed. “No. I mean yes, but no, that’s not possible.”

“Do you mind if we go ahead and do a urine sample just to check?”

“Sure, but you’re wasting your time. I’m not pregnant; I’m dying of a rare strand of flu.”

The nurse laughed and handed me a cup. “The bathroom is around the corner. Leave the sample on the sink.” I followed her toward the bathroom and watched as she dropped my chart in the holder near a door across the hall. “When you’re done, have a seat in that room and the doctor will be in shortly.”

I followed orders and sat in the room waiting. I sent Chance a text:
I’m still alive. Don’t start spending my money yet.

Canceling my trip to Tahiti this afternoon, now. Thanks for being selfish.

I chuckled.
I had to give a pee sample. Remind me to shake your hand when I come out.

You’re nasty. LOL

The doctor came in. “Good morning, Alissa. Not feeling so hot, huh?”

“No, and my greedy friend in the waiting room is ready to spend my money if you tell me I’m dying.”

She laughed. “Well, no, you’re not dying.” She looked in my ears, eyes, and throat. “How long have you been sick?”

“A few days.”

“Is it constant, or does it come and go? What’s been going on?”

“It comes and goes. I’ve been throwing up everything I eat and sleeping like twelve hours a day, which is so unlike me. I have no energy.”

She flipped open my chart, made a few notes, and then she looked at me. “Alissa, your urine test came back positive. You’re not dying of the flu, you’re pregnant.”

The words slammed into my chest like a sledgehammer as the room started spinning. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“No, it was very positive according to Lori. We can do a blood test to make sure, but I think it would be overkill. I take it this was not planned.”

Pregnant. I’m pregnant. Oh God, no . . . “No, this was not planned. My boyfriend and I just broke up. How can this be happening? I can’t be pregnant!”

“You have options if this was not planned.” She stood and slipped a set of pamphlets in my hand. “I have other patients waiting for me, but stay in here as long as you need.”

“Thank you,” I whispered as I sat up. “I’m fine.” I put my hand on my belly and tried to feel the life that had intertwined with mine two minutes earlier. “How far along am I?”

“Well, without knowing when the date of your last period was, I would have no way of guessing. We can set you up with an ultrasound to find out if you like.”

I nodded. “Please. Can we do it today?”

She smiled. “I doubt it, but it will be soon. The scheduling department will call you and let you know.”

She shook my hand and helped me off the table. My whole body felt numb and I didn’t trust my legs to hold my body in position. I steadied myself against the table then walked out of the room.

Chance glanced at me and did a double take. She stood and raced across the floor. “Lis? What’d they say? God, you look like you’re going to pass out. Are you okay? Sit down. Here, sit down, Lis.”

I felt my chin quiver as I looked at her and whispered, “I’m pregnant, Chance.”

The blood drained from her face. “I need to sit down.” She slammed into the chair next to me and we sat staring at the same awful painting of a mallard duck sitting on a piece of driftwood.

“Pregnant,” she whispered.

“Yeah,” I said.

“I’m not the father, you know.”

I chuckled through my tears then laughed harder every time I thought about it. My eyes wandered to a toddler trying to pull up on his mother’s leg and swaying back and forth before flopping to the floor. Tears flowed down my face as I said, “Get me out of here, Chance.”

She stood and grabbed my arm then led me out the door to the car. “Well, at least you’re not puking.”

“My whole body is numb. I wouldn’t feel it if a truck hit me right now.”

“I’m right there with ya, sister. My house or yours?”

“Mine since we know it’s not contaminated. I’m pretty sure you can’t catch pregnancy.”

The words fell in the car like a banging gong. Pregnancy. Baby. Nine months. Maternity clothes, stretch marks, cravings . . . my mind was spinning out of control as Chance pulled out of the parking lot.

She pointed to the pamphlets sticking out of my purse. “What are those?”

“I don’t know. She said I had options and handed them to me. I just stuck them in the first place I figured wouldn’t hurt.”

“Glad you didn’t file them in the doctor.”

“I didn’t have time to think about that. Turn around.”

Chance giggled. “Are you hungry? Think you can eat right now?”

“I need a drink,” I said.

“No-can-do, little mama. Those days are over unless you want to pickle your little private guest.”

I laughed until my stomach hurt. “No, no pickling the private guest. I could go for something light——maybe a sandwich place that has soup. Do growing babies like soup?”

“Sweet, I know just the place. I don’t know what growing babies eat.” She laughed.

“Chance, I’m going to have a baby.”

She sighed. “Good lord, that sounds so foreign coming out of your mouth.”

“Do you know how babies are born? My junk will be ripped to shreds! I’ll probably be able to toss my vagina over my shoulder during shopping trips after this.”

Chance laughed. “Look, Michelle and Katie have both had babies, and their va-ja-jas don’t hang low. You’ll be fine. We have lots of time before that happens.”

She pulled into the parking lot and turned off the car as she looked at me. “You okay?”

“No, I’m not okay. Chance, what the hell am I going to say to Mark? How did this happen?”

“Do you really need me to explain that to you?”

“No, Captain Obvious, I do not need you to explain
how
I got pregnant, but how did I get
pregnant
?”

“Were you using protection or contraceptives?”

“I can’t even think right now. We had sex so much I don’t even know when it could have happened. I have to go in for an ultrasound to see how far along I am.”

“Come on, let’s get something to eat.”

I opened my car door and grabbed my purse. The pamphlets stuck out the side, so I flipped through them to see what jewels the little doctor had slipped me. As we walked across the parking lot, I read the titles aloud to Chance. “‘What Next: Preparing for Pregnancy.’ A little late for that one. No preparations just whammo—‘you’re pregnant.’”

“Keep that one. You’ll want to read that when you’re not in shock.”

“‘Is Abortion Right for You?’” I looked at Chance who looked at me. “It’s something to consider,” I whispered.

Her shoulders sagged and her head fell as she opened the door for me. “Lis, you know I’ve always been pro-choice, but you really need to think about that.”

I shoved the pamphlets in my purse. “I can’t deal with this shit right now.” I wiped a few stray tears off my face and smoothed my shirt. “Let’s see if we can find something the private guest won’t reject.”

Chance took the rest of the day off and sat on the couch with me watching movies and waiting for the other girls to get off work. I sent a
911-need my girls ASAP
text. Katie, Dani, and Michelle said they’d be at my house by five-thirty. Chance and I made a bet that Michelle would be first, followed by Dani, and then Katie would call last minute and say she couldn’t make it because Landon had something else going on. Much to my surprise, Katie was fifteen minutes early, Michelle was second, and Dani brought up the tail three minutes later.

After our greetings, we all sat in my living room with their expectant eyes looking at me.

Chance was the first to break the ice. “Wow, this is a record number of times we’ve all been in the same room this often in I-don’t-know how long.”

Katie didn’t fall for it. “Alissa, what did the doctor say today? Are you ill?” Her chin trembled.

I took a deep breath. “Yes, but not like I thought.” My voice cracked as fresh tears rolled over my cheeks.

“Oh God, it’s not cancer, is it?” Michelle asked.

I chuckled. “No, it’s not cancer. I’m . . . I’m pregnant.”