You Will Die: The Burden of Modern Taboos

You Will Die © Robert Arthur, 2012

Published by Feral House, Inc.
All Rights Reserved

ebook: 978-1-936239-46-7
feralhouse.com

Dedicated
to my supportive parents,
and my steadfast friend—
the abyss.

   
P
REFACE

C
HAPTER
1

I
NTRODUCTION
: T
HE
B
URDEN

   
I. F
IRST
P
ERSON
: G
IVE
M
E
S
OME
S
KIN

   
II. A
ZTEC
S
ACRIFICE
: F
OOD FOR
T
HOUGHT

   
III. D
EFINITION OF
T
ABOO
: S
HUT
U
P

   
IV. S
PITTING
: D
AYS OF
P
HLEGM

   
V. T
HE
P
OINT
: T
ABOOS
= B
AD

C
HAPTER
2

N
ASAL
M
UCUS
: S
TILL
P
ICKING

   
I. F
IRST
P
ERSON
: T
HE
M
UCUS IN
M
E

   
II. W
HAT
I
T
I
S
: B
OOGER
, M.D.

   
III. T
HE
T
ABOO
: G
ROW
U
P

   
IV. I
TS
O
RIGIN
: H
ANKY
P
ANKY

   
V. R
EPERCUSSIONS
: W
HERE
D
ID
M
Y
S
EPTUM
G
O
?

C
HAPTER
3

E
XCREMENT
: A
MERICA
D
OESN
’
T
K
NOW
S
HIT

   
I. F
IRST
P
ERSON
: D
OING
I
T
W
RONG

   
II. W
HAT
I
T
I
S
: G
OOD
S
HIT

   
III. T
HE
T
ABOO
: P
OTTY
H
UMOR

   
IV. I
TS
O
RIGIN
: F
ILTHY
F
OREFATHERS

          
A.
   
Ancient Times: Gods of Poo

          
B.
   
The Middle Ages: Mountains of Poo

          
C.
   
1700–1900: Don’t Look at My Poo

          
D.
   
Twentieth Century: Don’t Even Say Poo

   
V. R
EPERCUSSIONS
: A
NAL
R
ETENTIVE

          
A.
   
Facilities: Lazy Shits

          
B.
   
Technique: Spread and Lift

          
C.
   
Cleansing: Poo Butt

          
D.
   
Holding It: Learn to Love Again

          
E.
   
The Environment: Crapping on the Fish

          
F.
   
Abroad: Crapping on Third-World Children

          
G.
   
History: Hidden Turds

C
HAPTER
4

S
EX
I: W
HAT
I
T
I
S
: S
EX
I
S
G
OOD

   
I. F
IRST
P
ERSON
: A S
EX
D
RIVE TO
N
OWHERE

   
II. D
EFINITION
: V
AGINA
M
EET
P
ENIS

   
III. A B
ASIC
H
UMAN
N
EED
: P
URITY
I
S
M
ISERY

   
IV. W
OMEN AND
M
EN
H
AVE
D
IFFERENT
S
EX
D
RIVES
: F
UCKING TO
L
OVE AND
L
OVING TO
F
UCK

          
A.
   
The Differences: Fake Boobs and Fake Rolexes

          
B.
   
The Evidence: Slutty Men Are Everywhere

   
V. H
OMOSEXUALITY IS
B
IOLOGICAL
: G
OING
G
AY IN THE
U
TERUS

          
A.
   
The Evidence: Manatee Man Love

          
B.
   
The Religious Argument: Stop Being Gay

   
VI. C
HILDREN ARE
S
EXUAL
: H
ELLO
, P
UBERTY
S
TARTS
B
EFORE
A
GE
E
IGHTEEN

C
HAPTER
5

S
EX
II: T
HE
T
ABOO
: S
EX
I
S
B
AD

   
I. E
DUCATIONAL
S
YSTEM
: P
REMARITAL
S
EX
M
AKES
Y
OU
C
RAZY

          
A.
   
Arguments for Ignorance: Keep ’Em Dumb

          
B.
   
The Curriculum: Be Prepared to Die

   
II. C
ENSORSHIP
: B
E
Q
UIET
S
O
T
HEY
D
ON
’
T
F
IGURE
I
T
O
UT

   
III. C
RIMINALIZATION OF
S
EX
: H
APPY
H
OOKERS
, H
APPY
J
OHNS
,
AND
M
AD
M
ORALISTS

C
HAPTER
6

S
EX
III: I
TS
O
RIGIN
: D
ISTORTING
J
ESUS

   
I. A
MERICAN
P
RUDE

   
II. O
UR
G
ENETIC
R
ELATIVES
: S
EX
W
AS
F
UN

   
III. E
VOLUTION
: H
ELP
M
E
R
AISE
T
HIS
T
HING

   
IV. A
GRICULTURE
: W
IVES FOR
S
ALE

   
V. A
NCIENT
R
OME
: H
ERE A
P
ENIS
, T
HERE A
P
ENIS

   
VI. C
HRISTIANITY
: T
URNING
J
ESUS INTO A
P
RUDE

   
VII. T
HE
M
IDDLE
A
GES
: S
EX
I
S A
S
IN
? W
HO
C
ARES
?

          
A.
   
Penitentials: Did You Come My Son
?

          
B.
   
Medieval Names: Starring John Fillecunt

          
C.
   
The Priests: Stupid and Horny

   
VIII. T
HE
I
NQUISITION
: S
EX
I
S A
S
IN
. M
EET THE
R
ACK
.

          
A.
   
The Process: Torture Is Not Litigious

          
B.
   
The Punishment: Burn or Go to Hell

          
C.
   
The Effect: Wretched Slavery

   
IX. T
HE
P
ROTESTANT
R
EFORMATION
: A M
ONK
W
ANTS
S
EX

          
A.
   
Catholic Hypocrisy: Hot Papal Orgies

          
B.
   
Martin Luther: A Piece of Shit Says Jesus Screwed