The Breaking Point (45 page)

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Authors: Karen Ball

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BOOK: The Breaking Point
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Thank You, Father …

“Thank You, God.”

She smiled at his echo of her heart’s prayer. And as she listened to him pray, she found herself smiling, loving the sound of his voice as he spoke to the Creator.
God, You really have made all things new …

“Thanks for Your timing, God. We were lost, not just in the woods, in the storm, and you knew that. Knew we had to come here, had to find ourselves with nothing but each other. And You. You brought us here to show us that we can’t live without You. Or without each other. You showed us Your love, and the love we have for each other. You came and walked beside us, letting us know we weren’t alone, and You saved us. From the storm. From the wilderness. From ourselves.”

Renee felt his lips press against her hair.

“Thank You for the gift of my wife. For the gift of Your Son. And for the gift of renewal. Amen.”

“Amen,” she echoed and stepped back. She looked down to find Bo lying there, watching them, that husky grin on his face. He looked as happy as she felt.

They returned to the fire and Gabe dumped snow on it. She touched his shoulder, and he glanced at her. “You don’t want to check it out first, be sure it’s really a cabin, before we put out the fire?”

Confidence glowed in his blue eyes. “It’s a cabin. Trust me, Renee.” He stopped. “No, strike that, trust
Him.”

She glanced at the yellow glow beyond the trees, then back at Gabe. “How about if I trust both.”

His slow grin was warm and delicious. “Even better.”

They were ready to go in minutes, and Gabe laced his fingers through hers as they followed the beam of his flashlight. Renee was amazed to realize she wasn’t tired or sore.

Just excited.

Finally they reached the source of the light they’d seen. Gabe had been right. It was a small cabin, nestled in the trees. Renee could just see wisps of smoke rising from the chimney She started to move forward, but Gabe stopped her. “Hey, guess what?” “What?”

He held up his watch for her to see, pressing the button to light it. 12:01 a.m., December 21.

His arms slid around her. “Happy anniversary, hon.” She went up on her toes to kiss him. “The happiest.”

What I like about experience is that it is such an honest thing.

C. S. L
EWIS

“These are the ones coming out of the great tribulation …
He who sits on the throne will live among them and shelter them….
For the Lamb who stands in front of the throne will be their Shepherd.
He will lead them to the springs of life-giving waters.
And God will wipe away all their tears.”

R
EVELATION
7:14-15, 17

D
ECEMBER
21, 2003

4
P.M.

THEY WERE HOME. RENEE HAD NEVER BEEN SO GLAD TO
be home in her life.

The couple who owned the cabin, Dave and Laura Burk, had been a kindly retired couple. Though Gabe’s insistent knocks had awakened them, they didn’t seem to mind in the least. When they realized what had happened, they bustled Renee and Gabe into their home, bundled them with blankets in front of the fire, and plied them with hot soup and coffee. Bo was given a place of honor right in front of the crackling fire, a big bone and a bowl of water at his side.

He’d been in heaven.

After a good night’s sleep in a soft down bed, Gabe and Renee had contacted everyone to let them know they were okay. Before the day was over, their truck had been recovered and towed, and
the Burks had taken them home. Gabe had resisted at first, saying they’d done enough, but Dave Burk, who was a huge teddy bear of a man, had brushed aside his objections.

“The drive to your home will give you plenty of time to tell us all about your adventure.”

They’d been home for about two hours. Gabe was on the phone with his mother again. She had asked him to call once they got home, and Renee told Gabe to take his time. He needed to reassure her they really were okay.

And Renee needed to finish what she’d started on the drive up to the resort.

She had discovered the book while packing for their trip. She’d needed another suitcase, a small one, for incidentals. She knew she had one that would be the perfect size … somewhere. She found the small suitcase in the garage, where she must have stuck it long ago. It was still in good condition—she’d only used it once. Years ago. The night she threw things into it and ran to Grace and Oren’s.

The night she found that woman’s letter to Gabe.

She’d carried the case into the house, wondering why she never put the thing in a garage sale. It was a reminder of so much pain. And yet every time she considered getting rid of it, something stopped her. Well, at least she could put it to use now.

When she opened the suitcase, she saw it. A gift-wrapped package. For a moment, she couldn’t imagine what it was. But as she lifted it, held in her hands what was obviously a book, the memory flooded back—Oren handing it to her, telling her it was a gift from him and Grace.

Shivers had whispered along her spine as Grace’s words drifted back to her: “Read
that, but not until you’re ready … Trust God to show you when the time is right.”

Clarity beyond anything Renee had ever known settled over her as she stood there, the book in her hands. She knew
without a trace of doubt that God was indeed showing her. It was time to read what He had for her in the pages of this book.

And oh! What wonders You had for
me,
Father.

Renee smiled now as she got a fire going in the fireplace. It was amazing how words written so long ago could still resonate with such truth, could speak to her heart and change it.

But then, the one who wrote them understood Renee, understood what she was going through.

She carried a steaming mug of cocoa to her favorite overstuffed chair and settled in. She pulled the journal from the coffee table, where she’d set it, and opened the cover to the last entry.

 

Renee closed Grace’s journal, resting her hand on the cover. No wonder the older woman had seemed to understand her struggles so well. She’d known them more intimately than Renee could have imagined. Not the same details, probably not the same issues, but the same struggles nonetheless.

Fear. Pride. Wanting what she wanted, when she wanted it.

Renee reached up to brush away a tear. She’d never imagined, all those times she watched Grace and Oren together, all those times she’d been steeped in envy, that their communion of heart and spirit had been born from such pain, anger, and hopelessness. If God could take Grace and Oren beyond all of that and make them the way they were now …

“You okay, hon?”

Renee looked up and nodded at Gabe as he came into the room. She watched as he settled into the chair beside her. She understood his silence. If he talked with his mom, he’d also talked with his dad. Gabe always made a point of talking with his dad, of doing all he could to build a relationship with him. It was further evidence to Renee of her husband’s capacity for forgiveness and love.

“How’s your dad?”

He stared into the fire, and she watched the light play on his features, saw him purposing to relax. “The same. Always the same.” There was sadness in his tone, but something else. Acceptance.

She looked down at her mug of cocoa, watching the tiny marshmallows float on the top. “I’m sorry it’s hard.”

The sigh that eased from him was heavy. “I just have to remind myself that he does the best he can with what he knows.” Gabe’s eyes settled on her, and his fingers touched her arm in a light caress. “I’m pretty lucky Renee. I’ve had a lot of support, good friends, a wife who loves me, and a God
who never gives up on me. My dad—” he looked back into the fire—“well, he’s never been able to see that he has any of that.”

“You’re kind of amazing, you know?”

Gabe’s smile was rueful as he leaned back in his chair. “I don’t know about that. But he’s my dad. The only one I’ll ever have. And I won’t give up on him.” His gaze rested on her, and the warmth in those blue depths made her smile. “How could I, when you never gave up on me?”

The silence that fell over them then was easy, comfortable. Renee looked at Gabe.

“Thank you.”

He tipped his head. “For what?”

She reached out to take his hand. “For being patient. For sticking it out.” She glanced down at their joined hands. “You didn’t have to, you know?”

Gabe squeezed her hand and gave her a lopsided grin. “Yeah, I did. I mean, what else could I do?”

“Lots of guys would have walked away. Gotten a divorce.” She traced the line of his fingers curled around her hand. “It’s kind of funny, you know? I mean, we never really considered that, did we?”

His smile broadened. “Divorce? No …”

Laughter bubbled up within her. She knew where he was going. “I know, I know, we never considered divorce …”

They finished it together: “Murder, on the other hand …”

His chuckle was deep and warm. She tugged on his hand. “Really, though. You ever wonder why we didn’t just give in? Why we kept working and fighting when it was so hard?”

Gabe leaned back in his chair, peering at her over the rim of his mug as he took a sip. “Because it’s not the legacy I want to leave.”

Renee considered that. “What do you mean?”

“We put a lot into this relationship, Rennie. I know it’s been hard, sometimes almost too hard, but it’s always been worth it. To me.”

Her nod was immediate. “To me, too.”

“I love you, and I don’t ever want to lose that. Or you. Besides, God never saw fit to release either one of us from this relationship.” A small smile tugged at his lips. “No matter how much we begged Him at times.”

She chuckled. It felt so good to laugh.

Gabe let go of her hand and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “But beyond all of that, I never wanted the epitaph on our marriage to read, ‘It got too hard, so I got out.’” He shrugged. “That’s not the legacy I wanted to leave for our family and friends.” He held his hand out and she placed hers in it again. “I believe with all my heart that our struggles happened because you and I walked into this relationship without seeking God’s heart, His wisdom and guidance.”

She couldn’t argue with that.

“So how could it
not
be hard? I had a lot of garbage to overcome.”

Renee squeezed his hand. “We both did. We still do.”

“Even so, God’s been faithful. He stood with us—or against us when He needed to—and kept us on the road to healing. And now—”

Her smile came from the depths of her heart. “Now, we’re better than ever before.”

“Exactly.” He slanted a grin at her. “Besides, I’m just getting you trained right. Think how long it would take me to break in a new wife.”

She gave his leg a playful kick. “Like any other woman would put up with you.”

“Like I’d want any other woman but you.”

She sipped her chocolate through a smile.

“You know something?”

She glanced at him. “What?”

“I know our marriage isn’t exactly a romantic dream, and I regret that. But I think it’s a kind of a shrine.”

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