The Break Free Trilogy (Book 3): Through The Frozen Dawn (17 page)

"That's not necessary," Emma murmured. But he was already dragging her sleeve up and passed her elbow, his fingers beginning their light dance down her skin. A small moan built in the back of her throat and she swallowed it down, closing her eyes and resting her head back as he continued with another story. This was one from before the infection, something about a project he and Kaylee had to do in school.

His fingertips were hypnotic, not too firm and not light enough to tickle, just enough pressure for her to know he was there, and safe enough away from her mouth. She felt a slow smile spread across her face and she turned her head to peek at him again. He was intent on her skin, watching the patterns he was tracing from freckle to freckle.

"I always liked you, you know," she said out of nowhere, cutting him off, "even back then."

He looked up at her, eyebrows raised. Something like doubt flit across his features and he looked back to her hand. "Well, I was your sister's best friend."

"I'm not pretending," Emma bit out, unsure how to do this. Andrew was right, she was young, this was new and strange and had the added component of being potentially lethal. And Kaylee was right, maybe Andrew did deserve honesty, if nothing else. "I mean out there, during the day. It's not- I mean, I know it's forced. It's too much, I get that. But I do like you, more than I should. I do."

Andrew's face was hard and still as he looked up at her, his gaze sharp and intense. It made her insides squirm. She felt herself stiffening, her back drawing closer to the wall. But she couldn't pull her hand back, it was locked in his grip.

"I can't, you know I can't, offer you anything," Emma continued in a rush. She felt like an animal that had cornered itself. "I wish I could, you have no idea how much I wish I could."

Her eyes dart to her fingers, now tangled in his, and a burning
want
seared her belly. She swallowed it down, looking up to him again and shrugging weakly.

"I'm bad at this," she muttered, looking to her lap. Her free hand fluttered uselessly, "you're right. I don't know-"

Her words stuttered to a halt when a warm hand encased her cheek. She looked up, finding Andrew closer than she expected; his eyes locked with hers. His breath was warm on her lips and she pulled back, turning her face away from his.

"I can't," she whispered.

"I know," he murmured. "And it's okay." She squeezed her eyes shut tight as she felt the pressure of his lips on her temple. He lingered there and she froze, terrified to move even an inch.

When he finally pulled free of her, she felt her shoulders unlock. The tension was finally winning and her body felt exhausted. He caught her eye and smiled, a gentle quirk of his lips.

"I love you, too," he whispered. Something in her chest broke, snapped in two.

"I didn't want you to," she cried, shaking her head. It only made him smile more.

"Too late," he answered with a shrug. "You're stuck with me."

Tears clouded her vision. Not for her, but for
him
. She didn't want this empty life for him. She wanted him to be happy, free. Not stuck with her.

He reached for her face again but she pulled back, not allowing him to touch her when she was crying. Who knew, maybe tears were infectious.

"You know," he said, seeming to read her mind. "There's never been any infection transmitted through tears."

"How would you know?" she shot back, wiping at her eyes. When she could finally see clearly, he was grinning at her.

"I still say you're immune, not infected. Don't worry tonight, Em. We'll find a way," he said softly, grabbing at her hand again. "But for now, we should get some sleep."

He didn't let her leave his corner, tucking her up in blankets near to the fire. The warmth blanketed her, sweeping her into sleep. Or maybe that was him, the warm pressure of his hand in hers, rubbing soft circles with his thumb as her mind slowly shut down.

Before she fell to sleep entirely, her eye caught the cover of his book as he shifted under his blankets. The title shone briefly in the cast of the lantern light, mocking her in golden letters.
Disease and Immunity.
Something awful snagged in her chest, but it wasn't enough to pull her out from the coming sleep.

K
aylee wasn't
sure what it meant, that the men's dorms had experienced an outbreak like the women's had before. Andrew had been glowing, babbling as soon as they shut the cabin door for the night about it clearly not being Emma's fault, that she hadn't been near the dorms so how could it be?

Kaylee wasn't convinced. She didn't think Emma was either.

The fact was, it still
could
have been her. There was no concrete way of knowing. Someone could have come across something of Emma's, she may have switched glasses, taken a sip out of the wrong canteen, her saliva may have been laying in wait for the next unsuspecting victim on any surface in the camp.

It had never happened before, that was true. Kaylee knew how careful her sister was. But that didn't mean she was safe. A part of Kaylee felt awful for it. It would anger Kaylee to no end if someone else in the camp had the potential for infecting her and the people she loved and they kept that secret from everyone. But what was the other choice? If they told everyone about Emma, about the potential for infection, at the very least they'd run the whole group out of the camp. At the worst, they'd kill them. Kaylee wasn't blind to that possibility.

Kaylee pressed her face into Jack's shirt, inhaling the musky scent of him. She smiled against his back and tucked her knees more snuggly behind his own.

Kaylee tried to consider Emma's preferred choice of running into the wilderness. But with the snow falling every other day, the shortage of food, she didn't know if they could survive the winter without the camp. It wasn't just the lure of the private cabin and the wood stove, though, pressed as she was to Jack in a bed that was made infinitely more comfortable by sharing it, she couldn't deny that the camp had its perks. But it was more than that. She knew a winter without a base would be near impossible.

So they were stuck, Emma most of all, forced to watch every step, every interaction, and shy away from anything that could be dangerous.

Kaylee jumped at the knock on the door, rolling away from the warm haven of Jack's body heat. The rest of the cabin was still asleep. Kaylee felt her eyes drawn to Emma's corner, fear rising up in her chest when she noticed her missing. For a brief instant in time, she thought maybe her sister had finally had enough and run away into the night. A quick sweep of the cabin brought Kaylee's attention to Andrew, her sister's hand resting in his open palm, her chest rising in even breaths as she slept quietly next to her pseudo-husband.

A rap sounded sharply on the door. Kaylee felt Jack stir.

"I got it," she whispered, shushing him. He rolled over anyway, stretching from the warm cocoon their bodies had created in the blankets. He offered a sleepy grin as her bare feet hit the freezing cabin floor.

A swirl of snow drifted in when Kaylee cracked the door. A man's face, both familiar and new, someone Kaylee had seen but not spoken to directly, squinted through the crack.

"Is Jack here?" Patrick asked. His face was carefully arranged, as though he was attempting a polite, friendly smile, but unable to pull it off without the impatience showing through. Kaylee answered in the affirmative just as Jack appeared behind her. He wrapped his warm forearm around her middle, pulling her back flush against him. She shivered, not from the cold.

"I'm extending an invite," Patrick continued, speaking over Kaylee's head. "The other men seem to think you might be interested."

"I'm guessing this is something that doesn't involve the Council," Jack said, his tone low.

"You guessed right."

"We'll be there," Jack answered. Emma stirred as Andrew sat up. Anna shifted in the arm chair, her eyes intent on the door. Patrick's gaze swept through the room. He nodded once to all of them, gave Jack the time and location of their meeting, then turned and left.

They met in the middle of the day, the sunlight shining brightly down onto the snow covered ground, catching in bright sparks off the errant rises in the snow. Kaylee thought meetings like this one would be better suited for the dead of night, hidden in the shadows. Of course, that would take them all out past curfew. And as far as Kaylee could tell, that was punishable with banishment. Though it was enough that they were at the men's dorms. No one else would be there. The Council had already searched the rooms for signs of contagion but no one had cleaned up the snow yet. It was beaten down with smears of dirt and mud, but there was undeniable blood laced throughout the filthy snow. There was something else, Kaylee thought it was maybe feathers, though they were so packed into the muddy ice now she couldn't be sure.

"Most of you understand why we're meeting again," Patrick started. A few of the men grunted, Kaylee heard Marco's name thrown around followed by a bark of laughter and a muttered, "Naive fool."

She tried to determine the source. Marco had seemed so friendly with these men, she found it odd that she couldn't find him here now. But he wasn't, his friendly, smiling face would have been instantly recognizable in this disgruntled crowd. Patrick didn't pause. He launched into what was, Kaylee determined, a well-practiced speech. He started by outlining the danger, touching briefly on the two outbreaks that had happened. "Right under the so-called Council's noses!"

He didn't dwell on how the infection got in though. Kaylee found that odd. She saw the tension in Emma's shoulders lessen though when he quickly moved on. She frowned, watching as Andrew's hand rest on her sister's lower back. It was over her coat, so nowhere near her skin. Still. Kaylee wondered if Andrew was being careful. She knew Emma didn't want him to push it, but she also knew how much Emma fiercely hated the infection, how much she wanted to be healthy. It would destroy her sister if Andrew pushed the limits and it cost him his life. Kaylee wasn't sure there was a way Emma could live with that. The thought chilled her.

Patrick was already moving passed the dangers of the infection. It seemed a well-rehearsed diatribe about the evils of the Council. The men that stood closest to Patrick nodded along at intervals, seeming to know what he was going to say before he said it. Maybe they did. They had probably heard this before. Kaylee didn't know many of the men, though she suspected Jack and Emma did. They were a bulky group, and not just because of the winter coats they wore. These men were Scroungers, the group that her sister told them about, the ones who found Jack and Emma on the road. Her gaze flit among them. Each tense arm rest on the handle of a gun.

Some of the things Patrick said didn't surprise Kaylee. She had already heard these muttered rumors from Samantha and Jan. She was surprised that Patrick brought them up at all. Kaylee wasn't sure she saw the connection between the possibility of Miranda fooling around with someone's husband, and the deterioration of safety in the camp. But the more Patrick spoke, the more it became clear, it wasn't safety he was worried about. It was the rules he wanted gone.

"We shouldn't be here," Kaylee whispered, leaning towards Jack so that her lips rested against the cold shell of his ear. The set of his jaw indicated that he agreed with her, she could read the distaste in his stance.

There were others murmuring besides Kaylee. They didn't seem to be whispers of disagreement though, they were murmurs of unrest. This group was sick of the rules, sick of the grip the Council had on the camp. It showed in the subtle head nods, the soft spoken words of agreement. Patrick could sense the fuel this leant him and he fed it, forgetting the danger of the infection altogether and focusing instead on the discontent.

"Had you heard about that?" Emma asked in an undertone, looking from Kaylee to Andrew, "about Miranda?" Kaylee nodded, supplying in an undertone Samantha and Jan's assumptions. Someone was caught out after curfew and kicked out of the camp. Kaylee explained how that particular someone was in Miranda's way and the laundresses thought Miranda wanted her gone. Emma frowned at this, her lip caught between her teeth.

"It doesn't seem that hard to get banished," Kaylee said.

"Remember what Rebecca said?" Anna whispered, leaning over to speak right in Kaylee's ear. "About Michael and the group he was kicked out of? Sounds familiar, doesn't it?"

Patrick spoke over the whispers, his voice rising in intensity and volume. He seemed empowered by it, soaking in the anger and discontent.

"You all knew him," he said, looking around the restless crowd. Many of the men were nodding, some murmuring soft acknowledgements. "He was a good man. Did some stupid things, yeah. He was late to work, stayed out late to trap and hunt. But we're those really offenses punishable by death? What else can a lone man hope for after banishment? When they kicked my brother out of here, you saw then what we were dealing with!"

Kaylee froze. She felt the tension stiffen Anna next to her, saw the change as Andrew pulled up straight and tall.

His brother.

She knew now why Patrick had always seemed so familiar. Looking at him with new eyes, with the picture of Michael's emotionless expression overlaying Patrick stern face, she saw it easily.

"Michael," Andrew whispered. Emma looked up in confusion.

Kaylee whispered again, "We shouldn't be here."

"So we go to the Council," Emma said, looking from Jack to Andrew. No one answered right away.

The drug store they were standing in had been raided many times. Several of the shelves had been toppled, animals had scavenged through the debris, leaving clumps of fur and feces behind. Something gnawed into a giant water cooler bottle, there were rings of water damage rippling out onto the faded gray carpet.

Kaylee and Anna didn't return to their work detail after lunch. Worried about breaking the rules, Anna went back quickly to check in, getting permission for her and Kaylee to venture out in search of medical supplies. The Scroungers were supposed to be fencing the area in, Jack and Emma and Andrew included. None of them showed.

That was good though. It was, honestly, what Kaylee thought might happen. Which is why it was safest where they were. No one else would be coming. Patrick was so busy shaking hands and answering questions after his rally, he barely had a moment to say goodbye to Jack.

He had made the effort though, tracking Jack down as the group at the men's dorm was dissolving.

"So, what'd you think?" he asked, focusing on Jack. That was good, Kaylee thought, he wouldn't notice her discomfort. Anna had trouble making eye contact and Andrew looked stiff. Jack was more practiced at keeping a cool head.

"Interesting thoughts," he answered, looking thoughtful. "I look forward to discussing some of it with you."

"Well, we have some time yet," Patrick answered, chuckling. "We have all day tomorrow, working on that fencing, right?"

"I'll be there," Jack had promised.

Anna made Kaylee and Emma go through the pretense of finding whatever supplies they could in the drug store. Both had bags halfway full of expired medicines and gauze. It wasn't the supplies they needed though, it was the privacy.

"I don't think we can go to the Council," Andrew finally said. He was perched on a low counter in the drug store, his machete lay next to him. "Did you see that group Patrick had there?"

"Marco wasn't there," Emma said.

"No, but most of the able-bodied men were," Jack answered. He leant against the doorframe, silhouetted by the cold, gray light from outside. Every once in a while, he'd pop his head out, sweep the empty streets for any sign of the infected. Kaylee stood near him, her hand resting against a counter, a bag of supplies at her feet. "If Patrick wanted to, he could probably take the town now."

"With a lot of deaths," Anna murmured.

"Yeah, so what's the game plan then? Why not just do it?"

"Because he'd have to keep fighting for it always," Kaylee answered. "He'd be the bad guy, the one who murdered people because he didn't like their way of doing things. It'd be harder." Her voice was low as she continued, piecing it together as she went along. Patrick was setting them up, lining up all the players so he could strategically knock them down. She explained to the rest about her suspicions of the Circle, how things were deliberately difficult, how they didn't farm or share resources. She saw Anna nodding in agreement as she told the rest about how Patrick's brother, Michael, kept people always wanting more, wanting it badly enough that they would start a war to get it.

And here, in a safe camp with food and water, Patrick couldn't destabilize them with threats of starvation, so he used the infection. He used their safety as a threat.

"Worked out well for him then, didn't it?" Emma murmured. She cast her eyes to the floor as the rest looked up at her. "That I showed up when I did."

Kaylee ignored Andrew's argumentative shout. Emma did as well, not meeting his eyes as she kicked her feet against the counter.

"But what's the end game?" Anna pressed. "What are they both hoping to accomplish?"

"They want it all," Kaylee answered, never so sure of her answer. "They want the safety of the walls, the trust of the people, and the abolishment of the rules."

Kaylee didn't doubt for one moment that she was right. It was suddenly plain to her. She could see it unfolding in her mind's eye as easily as if it were happening now, in front of her. Michael was kicked out of the New North America. His brother stayed. One worked to build an army on the outside, the other brother worked to destabilize from the inside. When the time was right, they would converge. And despite what Andrew wanted to believe, Emma being there might have pushed that time closer to present.

Andrew argued in low tones with Emma, stepping closer to her so he could lower his voice. Jack's head was through the door, casting his eyes over the empty streets. When Kaylee looked up, she locked eyes with Anna. She saw her thoughts mirrored there, knew plainly that Anna already understood, too.

"Emma's been right all along," Kaylee murmured, bringing everyone's attention back to the center of their little group. Emma muttered, "Finally," under her breath as Kaylee continued. "We can't stay here."