A
licia had decided for sure that she wasn’t going to drive over to see Levi tonight, but when she’d listened to Phillip’s message, saying he was heading over to the Kings’ house, she’d changed her mind, called Levi, and the next thing she knew, she was in her car and on her way over to see him. She knew that she should have followed her first thought and stayed home the way she’d planned, but the more she’d conversed with Levi, the more she’d longed to be with him. She also knew that if Phillip arrived back home before she did, she’d have a lot of explaining to do—which was why she already had her lie prepared and ready. She would tell him that one of the ladies from the church that she’d gone to dinner with on Saturday was having some problems with her husband and had asked if they could meet at an all-night restaurant to discuss it. Alicia knew no such woman existed and that she’d never gone to dinner with anyone, but she would tell him that this mysterious woman had really needed to talk to her, the same as Mrs. King had needed to talk to him. She’d also tell him that because the woman had made her promise not to reveal her name, she couldn’t tell him who she was.
Alicia wasn’t sure if Phillip would buy her story or not but,
he would have no choice but to accept what she told him. He would accept it or she’d bring up the fact that he’d just spent the night away from home himself on Saturday night and that she actually had no proof at all that he truly had stayed at Brad’s. She did believe that he had, but she would pretend that she didn’t and use it as ammunition if he challenged her about this evening.
Now, once again, she was lying next to Levi, face-to-face, feeling as satisfied as any woman could hope for when it came to lovemaking. It was true that she did feel an underlying sense of guilt, but when she thought about the terrible way Phillip had been treating her, her guilt waned considerably.
Levi stroked Alicia’s hair. “You know, you really are the woman of my dreams.”
Alicia smiled.
“You’re the woman of my dreams, and I can no longer deny that I’ve fallen in love with you.”
Alicia’s smile slowly faded.
“I’ve pretty much known it the entire time we’ve been seeing each other, but I hadn’t wanted to admit it to you or to myself because legally you belong to someone else.”
Alicia was shocked and had no words to say, because even though she did enjoy Levi’s company, she was far from being in love with him. She loved the way he made her feel sexually, but that was basically where her love for him ended.
“So, sweetheart, how do you feel about that?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, my feelings for you are very real, and what I want now is to be with you on a full-time basis. When we first started this, I was sure that being with you every now and then would be fine, but it just isn’t. It’s not enough for me anymore.”
“But, Levi, you know what my situation is.”
“Yeah, I do, but you can fix that anytime you get ready, right?”
Alicia looked away from him.
“And there’s something else I need to tell you as well. I’m thinking about leaving Mitchell for good and moving to another state.”
Now, she looked at him again. “Why?”
“There are a couple of reasons, but I really think it’s best that I don’t give you any details or involve you in any of my business matters.”
Alicia wanted desperately to ask him straight out what his line of work actually was because, even though she already knew, they’d never openly discussed it. The subject hadn’t come up, and now Alicia wondered if things were spinning out of control and that maybe he was worried about being busted.
“Levi, I really do want to know why you’re planning to leave the area.”
“It’s not worth going into right now, and the most I can say is that moving will be a good thing and that I’ll be able to give you an even better life somewhere else. All you have to do is say you’ll go with me and that you’ll marry me.”
“How can I do that when I’m already married to Phillip?”
“You can do it just as soon as you divorce him.”
Alicia looked away again and wondered how she was ever going to tell him that she would never be able to do that. She wondered how she would tell him that even if the day did come when she and Phillip found themselves splitting up, she would never be able to move away with or marry a criminal. She liked Levi a lot, but she could never settle down with someone who might be killed or arrested on a moment’s notice. As it was, she knew that every time she visited him, she was placing her life in at least a slight amount of danger, but she could never be his
wife. She could never live with him on a permanent basis the way he was suggesting.
Levi turned her face back toward him. “Hey, I’m really serious about what I’m saying. I mean, I now love you so much that it scares me. To be honest, the whole idea that I fell in love with you so quickly makes me feel weak, and feeling weak is not something I’ve experienced in my adult life. Alicia, you are the only woman who has ever made me want to end the business I’m in and start a completely brand-new life. You’re the first woman I ever actually wanted to live with for the rest of my days and have children with.”
Alicia waited a few seconds and then said, “I’m sorry, but I just can’t up and ask Phillip for a divorce. I just can’t.”
“I know this won’t be easy, but I promise you, I’ll make it worth your while in the end. I’ll be everything a husband should be to his wife emotionally, and I’ve got enough money to give you pretty much anything you could ever want. All I need is the chance to prove it to you.”
Alicia sat up on the side of the bed and gazed back at him. “Levi, I’m sorry. Maybe things will be different at some point, but I can’t do this right now.”
“So, that’s your final decision?”
“Unfortunately, I guess it is.”
Levi swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. “Then, as much as it hurts me to say this, you and I are over.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t allow myself to continue being this vulnerable. My guard has been let down more over the last few weeks than it has been in years, and I can’t live like this. I can’t keep making love to you and baring my soul to you when I know you’re going home to your husband. I thought I could deal with that, but now I resent it. I resent it, and I don’t like feeling this way.”
Alicia strolled over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Please don’t end things between us. Because I really don’t want that, and I know you don’t want that, either.”
Levi gently pushed her body away from his. “Sweetheart, my mind is made up.”
Alicia didn’t know what else to say, and Levi pulled on his plush robe and left the bedroom.
She took a quick shower, got dressed, and went to look for him. She checked the living room, then the kitchen and finally found him sitting in the theater room.
“So, this is it? You really don’t want to see me anymore?”
Levi left his chair, walked over to where Alicia was standing, and kissed her without delay. He kissed her so passionately that she was sure he’d rethought his position and was now having a change of heart.
But then, Levi slightly pulled his lips away from hers and held both sides of her face. “I really wish things could have been different, but I also want you to know that there are no hard feelings. None at all, because I always knew you had a husband. I was never in the dark about that, so this isn’t your fault. I also want you to know that I wish only the best for you in the future.”
Alicia opened her mouth, preparing to speak, but Levi stopped her. “Let’s just leave well enough alone and move on with our lives. Let’s move on before I end up more hurt than I already am.”
Levi kissed her again and then left to go get dressed. Alicia sat down and decided that maybe his decision was all for the best. Of course, she wasn’t happy about giving up the good thing she had going with Levi, but at the same time, she knew she wasn’t in love with him and that she wasn’t willing to do any of what he was asking. She knew it, and there was no sense leading him to believe anything different.
As soon as Levi pulled into the parking lot of the strip mall, Alicia leaned over and kissed him one last time. Then, she got out of the car, unlocked the door of her own vehicle, opened it, and got inside. After she started it up, she watched Levi drive away, and she drove in the opposite direction.
She headed down the dark and deserted rural road and after a few minutes, she reached inside her tote and grabbed her cell phone. She’d purposely turned it off as soon as she’d left to go see Levi, but now she hoped Phillip hadn’t tried calling her again. Unfortunately, the moment her phone registered its tower signal, she saw that she had three messages.
No doubt they were all from Phillip and she could only imagine how angry he was. She even considered not listening to them at all but then figured she probably should listen, just in case one or two of them were from someone else. Although, since it was almost 2:00
A.M
., she didn’t know who else would be calling her.
She dialed into the system and played the first message.
“Baby girl, hey, it’s your dad. We’re at Mitchell Memorial with Phillip, so please call me or get here as soon as you can. I love you.”
Alicia frowned and wondered what that was all about. Then, she skipped to the next message.
“Baby girl, where are you? Honey, I didn’t want to tell you this until you got here, but Phillip has been shot. The doctor says he should be fine, but they’re taking him into surgery to remove the bullet and you really need to get here.”
The next one was from her stepmother. “Alicia, this is Charlotte, and I hope you’re okay because we’ve been trying to get in touch with you for the last couple of hours. I was hoping that maybe you went to see your mom but she said she hadn’t talked to you since yesterday. So, honey, please call us because Phillip really needs you.”
Alicia was sure her heart had missed a few beats, and she tried recollecting the last time she’d been this afraid. But she knew exactly when it was. She knew it was the day she’d been raped.
Alicia thought about a lot of things, including the affair she’d been having with Levi, and then stepped on the accelerator. She drove as fast as she could and prayed all the way. She prayed because she’d never forgive herself if Phillip was worse off than her father had told her. She’d never forgive herself for not being there for him—once again—the same way she hadn’t been there when his father had died.
A
licia glanced up at the clock on the wall, saw that it was three in the morning, and looked back over at Phillip. The surgeon had successfully removed the bullet and stitched Phillip back up. Thankfully, it hadn’t done nearly as much damage as it could have. The doctor had explained to them that he’d found the bullet lodged just beneath the skin and that it was basically a miracle, what with Mrs. King being at such close range when she’d shot him. Of course, Phillip, even through his grogginess, had smiled at the doctor and told him that this was all a result of prayer and God’s mercy.
Now, he was resting in the room he’d been assigned to and Alicia’s father, Charlotte, Melanie, and Brad were preparing to leave. Alicia had thought her father was simply going to kiss her good-bye, the same as the others, but instead he asked her to go out into the hallway with them.
“You’re staying the night, aren’t you?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Good. But why don’t you walk out with us.”
Alicia wondered why and hoped he wasn’t going to question her about where she was when he’d been trying to call her.
At the elevators, Charlotte reached over to hug Alicia. “Hey,
I’m going to let you and your dad talk, but I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Thanks, Charlotte. Thank you for being here.”
“Of course.”
Melanie hugged her next. “I love you, girl, and I’ll call you as soon as I get a few hours of sleep. My shift was supposed to start at six, but I think I’ll just come in sometime around noon and work into this evening.”
“Thanks, Mel.”
“Let us know if you need anything at all,” Brad said, embracing her.
“I will.”
The door opened and they all went outside, but when the door shut, her father started right in. “Baby girl, is everything okay?”
“I’m fine, Daddy. Really.”
“Well, what took you so long to get here, and where were you when I first started calling you? I called your house several times and then I called your cell.”
Alicia hated lying to her father, but he was leaving her no choice except telling him the story she’d originally concocted for Phillip.
“There’s a woman from church who’s having problems with her husband and she asked me if I would meet with her. She really needed to talk to someone, so I told her we could meet at a restaurant. We went to the one that never closes not too far from our house.”
Her father stared at her without the slightest blink, and Alicia looked over at the waiting area.
“Alicia, I know you’re an adult and that you have the right to live your life any way you want to, but I’m telling you now, you’d better end whatever it is you’ve gotten yourself into and
you’d better end it right now. I’m begging you not to do the terrible things I once did. I’m begging you before it’s too late.”
“Daddy, what are you talking about?”
“Don’t, Alicia. Don’t lie to me because I know you’re doing something that you shouldn’t be and that if you don’t stop, it’s going to cause you and Phillip a whole lot of heartache. It’ll generate a ton of problems, the kind you won’t be able to make up for.”
Alicia wanted to insist how wrong he was, but she could already tell by the look in his eyes that he knew exactly what she was up to. He knew, without a doubt, that his “baby girl” was sleeping with another man, so she said nothing.
“I promise you, it’s not worth it. Whoever he is, Alicia, he’s not worth it.”
Tears streamed from Alicia’s eyes and her father embraced her tightly.
“Everything is going to be fine, but you can’t keep doing what you’re doing. You have to forget about this person and start focusing on your husband. Phillip is a good man who really, really loves you, and it’s time you realized that.”
Alicia held on to her father and wished she never had to let him go. She wished he could stay there with her forever.
“Hey, you’d better get back down to Phillip’s room, and I need to catch up with Charlotte. But you remember what I said, okay?”
“I will, Daddy. And I’m so sorry.”
“You’re young and you’re human, and while that doesn’t excuse any of your actions, God always forgives. He forgave me, and now what you have to do is be the best wife you can be to Phillip.”
“Thanks for not hating me, Daddy.”
“Baby girl, I could never hate you. I’ll love you until the day
I take my last breath, and even after that, I’ll always be in your heart.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow, and tell Charlotte I said thanks again.”
Curtis pressed the down button for the elevator and it opened immediately. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Alicia went into the restroom to wash her face with cold water, dried it off, and went back down to Phillip’s room. As she walked in, he looked over at her and smiled.
“What are you doing awake?”
“I guess I was looking for you.”
Alicia leaned down and kissed him and then grabbed one of his hands.
“I was so scared when my dad called me.”
“It really wasn’t that bad. But why weren’t you answering the phone when your dad was calling you from the ambulance?”
Alicia asked God to forgive her for the lie she was about to tell and then rattled off the same alibi she’d just given her father.
Phillip took it all in but then asked, “Who is she?”
“She asked me not to reveal her name, and I assured her that I wouldn’t. So, I hope you can understand that.”
“I do understand but only if you’re really telling me the truth.”
Alicia wasn’t sure what had come over her, but suddenly she felt as though she wanted to come clean. For some strange reason, she wanted to tell Phillip everything and just get it over with. But she couldn’t. She wanted to be straight with him from now on, but she just didn’t see where confessing her affair was going to benefit either one of them.
“I am telling you the truth.”
“Then, I’m fine with it, and I’m just glad you’re here now.”
“You should try to go back to sleep.”
“In a little while.”
“And another thing. You do know that your mother is going to be livid once she finds out that you didn’t call her right away.”
“I know, but I just didn’t want to worry her or have her driving over here so late at night. I’ll call her as soon as we get home tomorrow.”
“Whatever you say, but I’m not taking the blame for it. If she asks me why we didn’t call, I’m telling her it’s because you told us not to.”
Phillip chuckled. “I’m sure you will.”
“I also hope you’re planning to do exactly what the doctor has instructed.”
“Which is what?”
“Staying off your leg and taking it easy for a few days.”
“Please. I’m fine.”
“That might be so, but you’re not doing anything at least until Monday.”
“Monday? Isn’t today Thursday?”
“It is now.”
“You think I’m going to lie up in bed for four full days?”
“I don’t
think
anything. I know that’s what you’re going to do.”
Phillip smiled and then fluttered his eyelids, clearly trying to stay awake.
Alicia kissed him again and sat down in the recliner next to the bed and leaned back. She moved around until she was comfortable and then glanced over at her husband who was now fast asleep. She watched him slumbering peacefully, but then the reality of the last few hours hit her like an out-of-control semi. Phillip actually could have been killed. He could have died, and
the idea that she was probably having sex with Levi at the same time he’d been shot was unsettling. It was outrageous and just plain disgraceful. What she’d been doing behind Phillip’s back was not only dishonorable, it was downright shameful, and she wished she could erase every moment she’d spent committing adultery.
But the brutal truth was that she couldn’t. She couldn’t remove her sins of the past, and all she could do now was move forward. All she could do was love her husband with all her heart and do whatever she could to make him happy—because now she knew that she would never want to live without him. What she could do was stop being the selfish person she’d been ever since the day they’d gotten married.
Alicia closed her eyes and realized that Levi’s ending their relationship had turned out to be a blessing in disguise, and she vowed to never go outside of her union with Phillip again.