The Best Friend (22 page)

“I can’t believe this. Donny didn’t tell me. I wish he’d told me that.”

“Tony swore him to silence. Donny said Tony specifically instructed him not to tell you. He does not want you to know. So, of course, I had to tell you.”

A ghost of a smile hovered over Gretchen’s lips. Vickie was solemn and earnest. She only came there to tell Gretchen because she thought Gretchen would want to know. She ignored Donny’s warning as well as Tony’s privacy because she wanted Gretchen to know about it. In some ways, she could make up for a lot of the things she did wrong. Gretchen suddenly threw her arms around her little sister. She was, yet again, confused about why she was totally done with her sister before Vickie managed to redeem herself.

“Are you done being mad at me then? I hate it when you’re mad at me. More than anyone. You know, I just don’t think sometimes. I found out I was pregnant, and Donny’s solution was to get married. I was so relieved, I jumped on it, because I was afraid he might not want me or the baby. So I should have told you in a better way.”

“I’m not mad. Just… worried. You guys don’t have a shared history to base a marriage on.”

Vickie smiled. “But we will have this baby. Please, say you forgive me.”

Gretchen sighed. “I might have overacted. I’m sorry too.”

Vickie waved her hand around as if to say, “Who cares?” “So, what are you going to do now? About this? About Tony?”

Gretchen shook her head. She had no freaking idea what to do, but knew she had to do something about this. For Tony.

****

“Why didn’t you tell me about Audrey?”

Donny sighed into the phone as Gretchen spoke without any preamble, even though he was at work. She didn’t care what or whom she was interrupting.

“Vickie told you?”

“She ran directly to me with the information. As you surely knew she would,” Gretchen flipped her chair around so she was staring out her office window. “Thank you, by the way. It wasn’t lost on me you knew she’d tell me. I needed that information, and it explains a lot.”

Donny was silent. Then he said in a softer tone, “What does it change for you, Gretchen? What? Are you helping him, as his friend? Or is there something more that you feel about Tony?”

She shuddered at the thought of feeling something more towards Tony. He was impossible for her to imagine caring deeply about. He would more than likely run her over with a car, than ever lovingly return her affection. But no other label could fit for how she felt; and the truth was, this most recent knowledge about him did change something inside of her. She did feel an odd rush to do something about it, or with it. “I don’t know. I just know it matters. Can you tell me about it?”

He sighed. “I said too much already. He will not forgive me for saying a word about it, and we’ve just barely gotten to a decent place for the first time in years. Just… maybe, ask him about it. Tell him Vickie told you. I can defend telling Vickie, but not you.”

She bit her lip. Donny had a point. “Thank you. I’ll think about it.”

Donny cleared his throat. “So are you and Vickie good again?”

“I don’t think she ever knew we weren’t. You never told her what I said, did you?”

“No. Not really. Just that you were worried about the length of time we’d spent together.”

“I guess it’s good. I don’t really want to lose her as a sister.”

“So you’ll be at the wedding?”

“Yes. I was never
that
mad. Just… are you sure about this? You’re assuming a lot of responsibility after a very short amount of time.”

“I know. I’m all in on this. I mean it. I love her. I want to do this. I want to get married, and I’m even okay with the baby. Yeah, it’s all too soon. But I think we can manage it. I know your concerns and I know why you have them. But she’s different with me. She will be different.”

No, she really wouldn’t. But maybe, just maybe, Donny loved her enough to let it be. But then again, he was careless enough to get her pregnant, so he had to deal with the consequences. No matter what Gretchen thought, Donny was better off going into this thing with his optimistic attitude. Maybe it would make him survive better than Vickie’s other grooms.

****

It wasn’t hard to find the listing for one Audrey Vang. It was a very unusual name, and she was the only one listed in the area. She moved about fifty miles away and ran her own insurance agency. Gretchen sat on the information for a week. Why did she procure it? What did she plan to do with it? Talk to Audrey? Behind Tony’s back? That would be weird. And wrong. And well, why would she do that?

So she didn’t. She just stored the information on her phone and remained confused over what she was planning to do with it.

Meanwhile, Christmas was fast approaching. She got recruited to finish the last of the details for Vickie’s wedding, as Vickie began panicking about everything and had no clue how to really tie up all the loose ends. Gretchen’s mother was on her to help her sister, so albeit, unwillingly, she finally did.

Olivia became more and more a part of Gretchen’s daily life as her grandmother became sicker and could barely manage to take care of her any longer. She had her every afternoon now, and at least one night or another on the weekend. She hated to remove Olivia from spending more time with her grandmother, but Helen could no longer take care of her very well. Gretchen couldn’t stand the idea of expecting Olivia to quit being a kid just so she could take care of her sick grandmother. She was becoming increasingly affected by it. Olivia was often quiet and withdrawn. She even got in trouble twice at school, enough so that Gretchen had to go and speak with her teacher. Although they were aware of Olivia’s circumstances, they couldn’t allow her behavior to go undisciplined either.

Gretchen’s stomach fluttered every time she thought about the day when Olivia would not go home. Her arms ached to hug and hold Olivia as she observed her rising confusion and grief, not to mention fear over her grandmother’s declining condition. Gretchen tried to hang back a bit, just to let Helen be her mother still, and primary caretaker, guardian and the first love of Olivia’s life. So it was a strange, precipitous road on which she trod now. At some future date, Gretchen would legally adopt Olivia as her daughter. Gretchen hoped she was starting the process already by making her emotionally aware of Gretchen’s love and support. But for now, she remained her loyal babysitter and friend whenever she was needed.

Gretchen still saw Tony every Thursday, and purposely left her office door open whenever he was there. She might have even blocked out that time slot, not scheduling any patients for that particular hour. It was fascinating to listen and watch him with Olivia. He smiled and joked with her. He verbally engaged her, while his voice was a flat monotone with any other person. And Olivia loved him. She often talked about what Tony said or did, or how he accomplished this or that, using only one arm.

Still, Gretchen didn’t know what to do with her latest bit of information about Tony. Did it reveal something about him? Did it explain why he was the way he was now? Or was this all a direct link to his bitterness?

During some moments, Gretchen was pretty sure she deserved his recrimination and reproach. Only now was she starting to understand the enormity of what Tony had to endure. She sometimes, but only when no one else was around, and in the privacy of her own home, attempted to do things one-handedly. It was, she found, extremely hard to do things she would have never dreamed would become a problem. Even trying to twist the toothpaste cap on or off was tough. And forget about working the average can opener. When it came to preparing dinner; she all but gave up. She lasted less than a minute trying to cut up vegetables before abandoning that. Grabbing the end of one carrot, she gave it a satisfying “thunk!” as she sliced through it with a knife.

It was a bitter and humbling pill to swallow; she couldn’t handle being one armed for even a day. She had completely underestimated how hard it was. She could not comprehend how hard a disability like losing an arm was to live with, especially day in and day out, as Tony had to now. She even erroneously thought she understood until she tried to spend an entire day by using only her right hand. It proved to be impossible for her to commit to. So how, then, did Tony? A pang of guilt churned her stomach as she realized she couldn’t handle it for a single day. Yet Tony was relegated to it for the rest of his life.

How dare she be so judgmental of him?

She remembered him telling Will how he spent all day just trying to do the things that everyone else took for granted. Maybe… Tony wasn’t being so unreasonable. He really was disabled. But for her, it was hard to contemplate or comprehend Tony Lindstrom as being that way. He wasn’t the first face to pop into your head when you thought of people with handicaps and disabilities.

Even stranger, ever since she got angry with Tony, and lost her temper right to his face, he started behaving much better towards her.  His life in general seemed to improve. She didn’t get it. None of it. Except that Tony was one of the hardest people she had ever dealt with. And she didn’t know why that was, because she had no label to describe what or who he was to
her.

Chapter Thirteen

“So, how was it?” Gretchen asked as she opened the door for Tracy.

Tracy rolled her eyes. “As you’d imagine. Just like the other three.” Gretchen did not attend Vickie’s fourth bachelorette party. She simply could not do another one. It was the same girls, all of Vickie’s friends, whom she collected from her menagerie of jobs and living situations. Gretchen, luckily, had Olivia over, who gave her the perfect excuse.

Tracy and Gretchen were doing the centerpieces for the reception tables. They were candles adorned with candy canes and holly all around them, in line with the season. And they also landed the job of putting it all together, as Vickie had last minute fittings and appointments. Their mother shamed them into it with guilt, so here they were, a few days before Christmas putting the centerpieces together.

“Do you think there is any hope for
this
wedding?” Gretchen asked her sister.

Tracy bit her lip and her smile finally stretched around her teeth. “I think Donny is a really nice, stable man; and I just have to wonder, when was that ever Vickie’s taste? I think she got pregnant and is now reaping the unforeseen rewards.”

“Do you think she meant to?”

“She claims not to have, but I think so. I think she loves falling in love. I think it scares her to be alone, which is why she falls in love. I don’t know if she’s ever actually been there though. It’s sad, really. And unlike most girls who shuffle through men like Vickie does, she invariably chooses the nice guys, and never the bad boys. I think she inevitably leaves them because they’re not the kind of man she wants, or the kind she can relate to. Ultimately, I think she leaves them before they wind up leaving her. As we both know, she is impossible to live with, day in and day out. They all eventually discover that… which must be why she always does something horrible and leaves them behind, before she gets left behind.”

Gretchen set down the candy cane she was positioning in the fake poinsettia arrangement.  With her mouth open, she stared at Tracy in obvious surprise. “Wow, since when did you become the psychologist? You know what? You’re right. About this. And about Vickie. About what inevitably happens.”

Tracy nodded as she popped one of the candy cane bites into her mouth. She had long, straight, red hair and unusual, gray-hued eyes. Her coloring was a stark contrast to Gretchen and Vickie, who appeared strikingly similar. “I have too much time on my hands to think about it. Micah’s been working a lot lately.”

“As always.” Gretchen corrected her. Micah McKinley perpetually worked long hours. He had eighty-hour work weeks sometimes, and was employed at an investment firm. Being smart and focused, he always managed to provide Tracy and their two daughters with an upscale, solid lifestyle.

Tracy grimaced. “Yes, okay, as always. The weekends, especially. So when Vickie called me to do this or that for the wedding, I agreed.”

“Can you imagine how she’ll handle a baby? Then again, maybe it will finally make her accountable to someone else, and she’ll
have
to do something.”

“I hope so, sis, I really hope so. I just don’t think Donny has a clue what he’s in for. But the idiot walked straight into it with both eyes open, didn’t he? Micah always says Vickie’s husbands shouldn’t be such stupid imbeciles who only think with what’s inside their pants.”

Gretchen laughed. “I knew I always liked Micah.”

Tracy smiled in agreement. “I know you always have. So do I. I just wish I saw him a little more.”

Gretchen looked closer at her sister, “You sure everything’s okay? You look more tired than usual.”

She waved her hand around. “I’m fine. Just a case of the winter blahs.”

“You can talk to me; you know that, right? If it’s ever anything more.”

She shook her head and her hair fell over her shoulder. “I know, my crazy-successful, psychiatrist sister. I know who to talk to, and it’s certainly not Vickie.”

Gretchen went back to the centerpieces. After finishing three more, she stared at her hands as she tried to ask in a casual voice, “So, what does Micah think of Tony?”

Tracy’s eyebrows shot up. “You mean the Tony who looks at you as if he’s undressing you and picturing all kinds of nasty in his head?”

Gretchen dropped the arrangement. “Tracy!” Her married, long settled, well behaved sister never spoke like that.

Tracy smiled and laughed with glee as she stretched back and lay down flat on the floor, pushing all the crap around her away. “Oh, my prissy sister, he totally does that. And you’re not asking for Micah’s opinion, which, I have to say, is surprisingly good. He likes both of them. But you’re asking right now because you’re thinking that maybe you should know what nasty things Tony thinks about doing with you.”

Gretchen abandoned the crafts too, lying beside her sister and staring at the ceiling. “You see what a colossally bad idea that would be, right?”