Authors: Leanne Davis
He left her alone, as there still was nothing for him to pursue. Even though her presence sent his pulse skittering into a weird throb, and his stomach churned strangely, he could only stare at her for long moments. It didn’t matter what she was doing, or what he could see of her, he stared, and memorized every single detail about her. He’d been doing it since middle school. He looked, then stared, then ogled her every single time he caught even a fleeting glimpse of her. Now, as always.
When they were young, he was fascinated by her, even if she were just eating lunch with him, or crossing the campus with a girlfriend, or sitting in a class. He always noticed her. Apparently, despite losing his arm and enduring the ensuing outrage and resentment, the time-honored tradition to obsessively notice Gretchen was not hindered in the least. Meanwhile, she just casually passed by him without another thought.
The week after the assembly, Tony was shocked when he started getting emails and texts from people he hadn’t heard from in years… some, even decades. As it turned out, someone filmed his speech at the assembly and it was soon posted on
YouTube.
He was more than shocked when he clicked on it and saw it had over a thousand views in only one day. Apparently, he was being called a hero, not only for what he said, but also for emerging from the service without one arm. His parents worried that he’d be upset at the posting, but he merely got a kick out of it.
In no time, it started to get more viewers, and the following week, it was featured on a local newsreel, before the state news picked it up. Eventually, by Thanksgiving, the national news featured it, along with his growing throng of disciples. It was really quite strange, like a wildfire spreading out of control that all began with a simple speech he made at an elementary school.
He was asked by three other local schools to come and speak at their assemblies. He was puzzled with the invitations. Wasn’t Veterans Day over? No one in America really cared about its vets beyond that one day in November, did they? He accepted all three of them. Why the hell not? He really had nothing better to do. He just tweaked the speech, which wasn’t very hard. Neither was throwing the uniform back on and quickly reciting the few words. It wasn’t like he was doing anything valiant. For about five minutes, perhaps some kids might think about what it was like to lose an arm; or imagine that somewhere out there, young Americans were fighting in actual combat for a war that really had little to do with them, and remained pretty abstract. Several times, he was questioned by the younger students, who didn’t even know the United States was at war.
But Tony didn’t mind any of the kids’ questions. They were, after all, just curious. It wasn’t like they could comprehend such things as wars and bombs, and the injuries they inflicted. They merely verbalized what most of the adults cringed and shied away from; although they, too, wanted
to know.
And their interest was just as genuine. Tony preferred their genuine interest to their fake platitudes. He didn’t mind explaining stuff to Olivia, or answering her many questions about how he functioned one-armed to accomplish the simplest daily chores.
Soon, after Tony spoke to those first three local school assemblies, others invited him to speak: high schools, middle schools, and elementary schools. Some were clear across the state, while others were up in Oregon and even Washington. Tony’s dad volunteered to take off work and drive him to the longer distanced ones. Tony accepted all of them. Why not? It didn’t hamper his lifestyle much, since he didn’t really have one.
In early December, he glanced up and spotted Gretchen in the bleachers of one of the middle school presentations he was doing. She left before the students were dismissed and he wondered if he just imagined seeing her there.
Thanksgiving came and went, and Tony still had little to no contact with Gretchen. She politely acknowledged him on Thursdays, and that was about it. Thanksgiving Day, Tony tried not to roll his eyes whenever he saw Donny and Vickie together. All the while, his mother fluttered around them anxiously, nearly giddy with the upcoming wedding plans. She didn’t yet know about the baby, which was deliberately being put on the backburner so as not to eclipse Vickie’s wedding day. Tony had to bite his tongue to resist saying something sarcastic when Donny told him that with a straight face. He tended to agree with Gretchen: four weddings in eight years was a bit much to make it so “special” for Vickie. But none of that could compensate for how much he now missed the woman whom he rather successfully kept from knowing how much he liked her.
****
“You know how to do websites, right?”
Donny glanced up when Tony strode into his small office, interrupting him while he was tapping furiously on the computer. He had a headset on and loosened it to turn and acknowledge Tony.
Tony rarely came to Donny’s work. Located in Calliston, it was a small office space where he and three other people typed away on elaborate computer systems all day long.
“How’d you get here?”
“I took the bus. So, websites?”
Donny scrunched his brows as Tony approached him and sat down. “Yeah, Tony, it’s what I do for living. Design them, update them, fix them… I mean, tell me you do know that much about me.”
“I know you’re into computer language and stuff. I just never really understood what you do.”
Donny frowned. “What would you need to know about websites for?”
He shrugged and stared down at his feet. “I, uh, could use your help launching one.”
Donny suddenly sat up straight and rolled his desk chair away from the keyboard to face Tony. “Okay, you have my attention. Website for what?”
He scowled. “I don’t know, but the whole speech thing seems to interest people. Thought a website might make it easier for people to contact me.”
Donny studied him across the office with his mouth open and eyes round. “Holy Christ, are you kidding me? You want to make yourself available to the public? Like advertising and volunteering to do this?”
He shifted around, now feeling uncomfortable at Donny’s obvious incredulity and sheer, stunned wonder that he, Tony, could contribute anything of value.
“It’s not a big deal. It’s not for money or anything. A lot of kids are just curious and stuff. And it’s fine. I mean, I don’t mind that.”
Donny finally nodded. “Okay, wow. I’m stunned. You won’t say hello to anyone, but you don’t mind a bunch of kids mimicking your handicap and asking offensive questions. I tell you, man, I don’t get you.”
He shrugged. “There’s not much to get.”
“And as to not being paid, that isn’t the point. It’s simply that you’re feeling a spark of interest to do anything that matters. This is good, bro. Real good. Yeah, of course, I’ll set that up for you. I’ll get right on it. Tonight even.”
Tony swallowed, now ill at ease with all the attention and interest in his idea. “Look, I haven’t been any good to you for the last few years. You, uh, saved me, you know. After all that stuff with Audrey… anyway, thanks.”
Donny slowly shifted forward, and released a long breath. “Jesus. You’ve never once said thanks to me for anything. Not in the last two years, anyway.”
Was that true?
Tony tilted his head back and shook his head. “I was pretty self-absorbed. I didn’t know how much so until… recently. I had no right. I wouldn’t have stuck by me like you did. You’ve been a good brother. Better than I deserve, or I’ve ever been to you.”
“Is this because of what happened with Gretchen?”
Was it? Maybe. Yeah. Definitely
. He missed her. He treated her like shit, and unlike most, she stuck with him. Far longer than what he deserved. He couldn’t blame her when she ultimately bailed. It was what
he
deserved, and what he drove her to do. But he missed her never the less.
But now, it felt nice to have something to do.
“I guess. I mean, she was right, of course. And I realized it, just watching how Vickie’s behavior affected her. Well, I’m Vickie to you: a rotten sibling. I do to you what Vickie does to Gretchen. And I don’t think it’s real attractive.”
Donny choked on a laugh. “You know, you just totally insulted my fiancée while attempting to apologize to me. Kind of defeats the purpose.”
Tony frowned, but finally, chuckled. “You know perfectly well what Vickie is like. I know that much about you. You obviously choose to live with it.”
Donny pressed his lips together in a grim smile. “Okay, I admit a lot of what Gretchen said is true. But Vickie has a huge heart, and a vast amount of loyalty. I just need to help her grow up in some areas of her life. I think she can and will, with my guidance, of course.”
Tony stretched his legs out in front of him. When was the last time Donny and he just sat down and spoke civilly about anything? Especially Donny’s life? The burdensome weight of how much he failed his little brother suddenly impacted his chest like Donny just reached over and thumped him hard. He had taken his brother for granted, and in doing so, missed out on having a brother, and a friend.
“You’re really having a kid, huh?”
Donny winced. “Really. It’s a lot, I know. For how long it’s been. But…”
“I would have thought you were smarter than that.”
“I usually am. Gretchen is right, there is something about her that makes a guy lose his damn mind.”
“Among other things.”
Donny shook his head no. “It’s more than that. But… it’s happening. So I can fight it or embrace it. Seems easier to embrace it and find a new life, based on the facts, and not what could or should be.”
Tony held Donny’s gaze and finally smiled, slowly stretching his lips. “I see what you did there. And noted, Don. I heard what you’re saying.”
“Well, about damn time. I can’t remember when you listened to anything I had to say.”
Tony winced. “Yeah, Gretchen pointed that out a time or two.”
Donny smiled a secretive smile. “She’s been good for you.”
He shrugged. “She’s fine.”
Donny shook his head with a grin. “You just can’t give anything up, can you? You’ve been crushing on her half your life. But sure, she’s ‘fine.’”
Tony chose to ignore the comment. “Anyway, speaking of Gretchen, any thawing on that front towards Vickie?”
“No. It’s a proverbial ice war. However, I never told Vickie exactly what happened between us, so she doesn’t know just how mad Gretchen is. All she knows is that Gretchen isn’t thrilled about planning the wedding.”
Tony snorted. “Understatement. Will she be there?”
Donny sighed. “I don’t know. And I have no clue how to tell Vickie I don’t know either. She doesn’t doubt Gretchen’s coming. How can I tell her that her big sister might not come to her wedding?”
“You do realize, don’t you, that it’s her fourth, right? I mean Gretchen wasn’t being dramatic. That’s a lot of weddings for a twenty-eight-year-old woman.”
“I know. But it’ll work this time. You’ll see. I got this, Tony. But do you think you could talk to Gretchen? See if she’ll listen to you?”
“She won’t listen to me.”
“She might. She really might. Come on, you were just trying to apologize for the dickhead treatment I’ve been receiving for a long time. Do this for me: get Gretchen to the wedding and all is forgotten. We’re even.”
“Really? You’ll forgive everything I did?”
“Yeah. All of it. Unconditionally.”
Tony didn’t relish how he would manage to persuade Gretchen to forgive her sister. But he did relish seeing her again. And receiving Donny’s unconditional forgiveness.
“I’ll try.”
He nodded. “Thank you. Thank you for doing this. Thank you for finally
doing
something.”
Tony stood up and shifted his feet, now uncomfortable with all the good will. He was more used to unease. “I’m not doing much.”
“It’s a hundred percent more than you were.”
****
“Mr. Lindstrom?”
Tony frowned after checking the caller ID again. He still didn’t recognize the number. “Yeah, who’s this?”
“This is the nurse at Calliston Elementary School. Olivia is feeling sick. I wondered if you could come pick her up?”
“Uh, you better call Gretchen Hendricks.”
“Gretchen isn’t available. We tried. You are listed as an alternate emergency contact. Olivia says you know her.”
“Sure. I know her.” He pulled at the back of his neck with his hand. “What’s wrong with her?”
The nurse dropped her voice. “She has a stomach ache.”
Instantly, he did too.
Olivia was sick? No
. He didn’t like her being sick or hurt. “Okay, I’ll figure out something.”
He found his mother busily hemming his dad’s slacks. “Can you drive me somewhere?”
She took her half-moon spectacles off. “Sure. Where?”
“To pick up Olivia.”
Her eyebrows shot up almost to her hairline. “Pardon me? Why would you do that?”
He shrugged. “She’s a nice enough kid. I just found out I’m listed as an alternate emergency contact. She’s sick or something, and her school nurse called.”
Leila’s body went still, but Tony wasn’t sure what the significance was. “Of course, I’ll take you there.”
He entered the school office exactly twenty minutes later. “Excuse me, I’m looking for Olivia Carver.”
The secretary nodded to a door on the left. Entering it, he found Olivia lying on her back on a green-colored couch. She perked up when she spotted him. “Hey.”
“Tony! I knew you’d come for me.”
He glanced at the nurse, who smiled. “She might be feeling a smidgeon better.”
“Am not!” Olivia said almost angrily.
The nurse motioned him outside. “I think it’s probably just a reaction to her circumstances. But sometimes, kids just need a break; and it never hurt anyone.”
Circumstances? What circumstances?
“Sure. I’ll just take her home to rest.”
Olivia slipped her hand into his until they reached his mother’s car. “Mom, this is Olivia. Liv, my mother, Leila.”
Olivia hopped in the backseat. Tony suspected the nurse was right; whatever was wrong with Olivia wasn’t totally physical. “Hi Mrs. Lindstrom.”