The Believer (40 page)

After they ate the food and donned the clean clothes, Sister Melva escorted them out of the Farm Deacon's Shop. There was only one door instead of the two in most of the buildings. "Normally this building is used solely by the brethren, so there was no need for two doors, but the Ministry made an exception for this day since they could hardly have one of the brethren bringing you underclothing" A flush crept up into Sister Melva's cheeks. "That would have been unseemly."

She didn't walk down the road with them, but stood on the steps to watch them go. They hadn't gone far when Sister Nola came rushing after them. She hugged Hannah and kissed the top of her curls set free now without a cap. "I will miss you, Sister Hannah, and be sure that I have forgiven you for all the times you ran away and didn't do as you were told:"

"Thank you, Sister Nola. I wish I could have been a Shaker for you;' Hannah said.

"So do I, but perhaps you'll come back someday and see that the Shaker life is the good life. Without the sorrows that may await you in the world:"

Hannah looked up at her solemnly. "There are sorrows everywhere. Brother Issachar died:"

"Yea, but it was one of the world who attacked him and caused his death"

I was sorrowful here;' Hannah said.

"Yea, so you were. You never bent your spirit to the Shaker way. And perhaps as you say, you could not" Sister Nola sighed and shook her head before she pulled two folded pieces of silk out of her apron pocket. "Here, take these. They are a gift from the silkworms and the sisters here:"

Hannah eyed the squares of silk in Sister Nola's hand. "Did you boil the silkworms to get the threads?"

"Nay, not the worms. The cocoons. Their silk threads will exist much longer in these handkerchiefs than they would have without our industry. A sacrifice for something good and useful"

Elizabeth silently willed Hannah to take the proffered gift, but she spoke no word aloud.

"Like the fishing worms and crickets Father used to catch fish for our supper," Hannah said softly as she took the handkerchiefs. "Thank you, Sister Nola. I will think of you and remember the silkworms when I feel these against my skin"

Again they moved on, leaving Sister Nola behind. They had already passed the West Family house when Payton stepped out from behind a tree into their path. Hannah ran to him. "Oh, Payton, you decided to go with us"

"Nay, I must stay here. It is my path," Payton said. "But I wanted to say goodbye and give you this" He pulled a small carved heart out of his pocket and laid it in Hannah's palm. "Smell it"

Hannah put it to her nose. "It smells of the woods"

"It's red cedar. Here, I have one for you too, Elizabeth" He reached into his pocket again.

She took it with a smile. He was more her brother than he'd been since they came into the Shaker village. "But don't the Shakers frown on using time to make something such as this with no useful purpose?"

"Yea, but Brother Micah said I could. That he understood how I still felt pulls toward you both as my sisters of the world and that this might be a way to heal all our hearts. Brother Micah let me work by lamplight before the sun came up so that I could carve them out of a piece of scrap wood for you"

Elizabeth closed her hand around the small heart. It felt warm in her fist. "I have nothing to give you in return" Then she reached out and touched his chest over his heart. "Nothing but my love and my desire for your happiness here"

Hannah sniffled a little and leaned against Elizabeth as she stared up at Payton.

"I'm content here, Elizabeth. The wood comes alive under my carving tools. There is the spirit in the meetings. There is Brother Micah. There's much food and no need for worry about a place to stay warm. I'm sheltered here in body and soul"

"You may make many useful things here, Payton. But you will never make anything more cherished than this:" Elizabeth put her hand clasping the heart against her chest. "I'll write to you. The Ministry allows that:"

He hesitated as if he didn't want them to walk away. "Where will you go?"

"Colton will take us in. He has told me as much:"

"Nay!" A look of alarm spread over Payton's face. "You cannot do that:"

"I will do what has to be done:" Elizabeth set her mouth in a determined line.

"But are you sure it must be done? I've been praying:" He looked a little shy to admit his prayers, but he went on. "I prayed while I did the carvings this dawn. I prayed to the Eternal Father and Mother Ann for you. And for Hannah:'

"I've been praying too, but I see no other answer"

"That's because your fear of Colton blinds your eyes:"

"Are you saying your eyes are open? That you have answers? A place for Hannah and me"

"Nay, not since you won't stay here," Payton admitted. "Not clear answers, but I kept seeing Aristotle as I prayed. Perhaps he was my answer. The man who took him in surely must have a generous heart:"

"Taking in a dog and taking in two females are quite different things;" Elizabeth said even as hope wanted to flutter its wings and awaken inside her. Could there be a way besides Colton?

"True enough, but after we came here, I once spoke with Brother Ethan about what became of Aristotle after he and Brother Issachar took him into the town. He said they gave Aristotle to a man who runs a store and also rents a sleeping room to travelers:"

"That's all well and good, but we have no money to pay for a sleeping room;' Elizabeth said.

Hannah leaned against her, drawing circles in the dirt pathway with the toe of her sturdy Shaker shoe.

"I know that. But he might need a maid or help in his store. You can't just throw yourself away on Colton without at least trying to find another way."

He looked so worried that Elizabeth pushed a smile out on her face and pulled him toward her for one last hug with Hannah in between them. "You are a good brother. I'll miss you:" She blinked back tears as she stepped away from him.

He looked near tears himself. "I'm sorry I can't go with you.

"So am I, Payton" She touched his cheek. "But I brought you here. Now it seems I must leave you here:"

"You don't have to go. You could stay." His voice was small, his child's voice again.

"No, just as you can't go with us, neither can we stay with you. Goodbye, Payton"

Hannah echoed her goodbye and the two of them started on down the road out of the Shaker village.

"Remember Aristotle," Payton called after them. "Brother Ethan said the man was kind for one of the world. Even to a Believer."

She stopped and looked back at him. "Tell Ethan-Brother Ethan,' she corrected and then hesitated as she searched among the words in her head for the proper ones. "Tell him that I hope his pathway here is always free of any stones to trip him up and that I'm sorry if I was such a stumbling block for this brief time:"

Payton looked at her a moment before he nodded. "I'll tell him so when I can:' He hesitated. "I won't forget my sisters'

"Nor will we forget our brother. We have your heart" Elizabeth held up her hand with the heart clasped tightly in it. Hannah did the same as tears rolled down her cheeks. Then with nothing more to say, no more reason to delay their leaving, they left Payton behind.

It seemed only right that the last place they passed before leaving the village was the graveyard where Issachar had been laid to rest two days before. Follow your heart. She hoped he and his Eva were dancing in heaven.

They were almost past the white plank fences around the graveyard when a Shaker brother moved out from behind a tree in the far corner near Issachar's grave. He stood stock still and watched her. Even before she spotted the splint on his hand, she knew it was Ethan. How could she not know the man she loved?

She didn't let her eyes linger on him. She kept moving down the road, keeping up with Hannah. She would not stop. She could not stop. But she felt his eyes following her, and she knew she was carrying part of him away with her. She wondered how long it would be before he could forget her. Before his dedication to his duty as a Believer pushed her memory from his mind. She wanted to look over her shoulder. She wanted to see him one last time, but she kept her eyes on the road ahead.

When they passed the last Shaker fence post, Hannah jumped up into the air and then almost danced down the road. Elizabeth couldn't keep from smiling at her while in fact she felt some of the same euphoria sweeping through her. She pulled out the pins that had held her hair neatly up off her neck and shook it down around her shoulders. No more would she have to hide her hair. No more would she have to pretend to listen to Sister Ruth. No more would she have to practice the dances that were supposed to bring her closer to the Lord. No more would she have to keep her eyes downcast while she pretended to be obedient to the Shaker will. And her feet wanted to dance like Hannah's.

She ran to catch up with her little sister where they held hands and circled around in the road like two children at play. "It's rather contrary of us;' she told Hannah. "We didn't want to dance the Shaker dances, but now we dance:"

Hannah laughed out loud. "Those were their dances. These are our dances. Our spring dance:" She turned her face up to the sun and spun around in one more circle. Then the smile faded away on Hannah's face as she looked over at Elizabeth. "But I don't wish the sorrow to go from my heart to yours. Do we have to go to Mr. Linley?"

"I don't love Mr. Linley, but perhaps he's not so bad. Our father often went to visit him. Colton said he saw Father on that day he came home from town so sick'

"And then he died," Hannah said.

Sister Lettie's words popped into Elizabeth's head. It was poison. That is the only thing that would take one in such health so quickly. "Colton wouldn't have poisoned our father," she said as much to herself as to Hannah.

"He set the fire to burn down the house where you slept"

"What makes you say that?" Elizabeth frowned at Hannah as she waited for her answer.

"I saw him. In the moonlight:"

"Why didn't you tell Elder Joseph or one of the sisters?"

"They wouldn't have believed me. They thought I set the fire. That it was the demon in me. But it wasn't the demon in me. It was the demon in those men. One of them was Mr. Linley." Hannah looked very sure of her words.

"Did he see you?" Elizabeth asked as more of Sister Lettie's words came to mind. You know not what that man is capable of He'd been married twice before. The first wife had died in childbirth and the second wife had run home to her family in Virginia. Or so Colton said.

"I don't think so. I stayed to the shadows until they got on their horses:' Hannah came and stood right in front of Elizabeth. "But he will see me if we go to him. He will see both of us"

Icy fingers of fear walked up Elizabeth's spine as she stared down at Hannah. It was one thing to give herself to a man who had little kindness in his heart. It was another to give herself to a man who had such little respect for the life of others that he was ready to snuff it out. Her own life if he had been the one to set fire to the house where she slept, as Hannah said. And perhaps her father's life as well. Had he not told her the day they buried their father that her father had drunk some cider with him?

The sound of horses' hooves came from down the road, and without even thinking about it, Elizabeth grabbed Hannah's arm and pulled her out of sight into the trees. It wasn't Colton, but just the thought that it might be washed fear through her, until now with the horses gone and nothing but silence around them, she had to lean against a tree to gather the strength to keep standing.

Hannah put her arms around Elizabeth's waist. "We can live in the woods. We'll build a shelter out of tree limbs like the settlers did when they first came across the Wilderness Trail. Soon there will be berries, and you know which roots we can eat:' Her face was animated. "We can catch fish and steal turkey eggs from their nests"

Elizabeth managed to smile down at her. "Two wood nymphs"

"That would be better than having to worry about burning up in our beds:"

Elizabeth stared off into the trees. Didn't the Bible say the Lord would provide for his children? That he would supply the needs of those who trusted in him. But it didn't always tell how that would happen. One prayed and one got answers. She remembered Payton's prayers for them and felt hope opening up its wings inside her. At least they would have a destination.

Perhaps the man in his kindness would allow them to stay for a few days in exchange for their labor in his store. Or they might find a way to live in the woods through the spring and summer where she could gather roots for sale. Sister Lettie said she had a gift for finding such. It sounded like a desperate plan, but no more desperate than going to Colton with the suspicion awake within her that he could have fed her father poison.

The Lord clothed the world in beauty with flowers and trees and put ample food out for the birds to find each day. Would he not do the same for her and Hannah? Elizabeth ran her hands down the sturdy material of the skirt of her dress. Had he not already begun to supply their needs?

She touched Hannah's springing curls and said, "Let's go see if Aristotle remembers us:"