The Beat of Safiri Bay (28 page)

Chapter 15

The week has dragged its feet, much like me. I had to cancel going to the school’s Market day and Laurie was not impressed about me dropping them for the opening of the restaurant next week. I am glad that I am able to step on my foot lightly because going to my own birthday party tomorrow with crutches or that horrible wheel chair is not the way I want to see myself on photos of my nineteenth birthday for the rest of my life. My dad has rested well this week and he is almost his old self again. He and Thandi have taken it on themselves to make sure I eat at least twice a day. I have been able to face each day with a new happy act I have learnt from watching too much television. It seems to fool everyone except Matt. He has been coming over every day after school to check up on me. We kept our conversation light mostly because I don’t think either of us wants to talk about the stuff that lies so heavy on our hearts. He has agreed to be my ‘date’ tomorrow for my party and I am so glad to have him to lean on. He stayed for dinner tonight much to Thandi’s delight. My dad obviously likes him a lot but he hasn’t pushed me again to make more of our friendship. He asked if I wanted to go with him to have a drink at the lodge bar and I agreed. Only because it is probably the only place I’ve never been with Alex so I wouldn’t picture him everywhere and also to just get out of the house a bit. I still walk funny but at least on my own and hobble away to get my jacket in case I need it.

The bar is quiet for a Friday night and we order drinks then take a seat next to the wall. I order a beer like he does and we sit and chat about school. I forget about everything and laugh at the stories he tells of the kids chasing the cows out of the school yard and tripping in their dung and of Jill and her never ending complaints. I can almost imagine that the last few weeks didn’t happen. When he orders another beer I do so to and he looks very surprised. “Matt, I haven’t been out this entire week; I won’t have more than two I promise.” What I didn’t tell him is that the first one has already done a pretty good job at numbing out life so the second one will no doubt make me forget that Alex ever existed. I drink the next one slowly because it tastes really bad and I don’t want to pass out right here at Matt’s feet. Matt orders his last beer and I am still busy with mine. Thanks to the beer the night has turned out exactly the way I had planned. I laughed a lot and forgot everything, I cannot think of a better way to start the weekend. After Matt and I finished our beers we get up to leave. I sway around a bit more than what I intended to but at least have my sore foot to blame for that. We walk away laughing quietly at an old couple who thinks they are still young but have the dance moves of primitive people. Once around the corner we burst out in fits of laughter. Matthew, not being a very good dancer himself copies the moves of the old lady to a T and I hold on to my tummy as I laugh at his silliness. We eventually make it to his car and I climb in awkwardly.  He drives slowly in the dark so he can see anything that might come into the road. “Why don’t we stop at the beach?” I say. “Sure, I can sleep in tomorrow so no problem with staying up late.” We pull into the parking closest to the flat dune and climb out. My stumbling is more obvious and he puts an arm around my waist to help me. “How is that foot treating you?” he asks and lifts me on to the wooden path that leads to the beach. His sudden closeness makes my heart beat faster and just like him I have no one to focus on but him. His arm around my waist feels warm and I struggle to keep my breathing normal. When we reach the sand he lets go of me but I move closer to him. The little moon makes just enough light for us to see each other. The beach is quiet with only the rolling of the waves and a few night birds responsible for creating some noise. “It’s a nice night,” he says and bends down to undo his shoelaces. He takes off his shoes and roll up his jeans. I kick off my sandals but battle with the left foot and he holds out his hand to steady me. I take his hand and look into his eyes as I do so. Then I tear my eyes away from his and take off my shoe. Luckily I am wearing a short skirt so nothing will get wet. He doesn’t let go of my hand and we walk in the shallow water holding hands but not talking. Every time he moves his fingers I feel it and move one of mine in response. After a while he squeezes my hand softly and I do the same. He stops walking and turns to me. I lift my free hand to his chest and he pulls me closer to him while his mouth comes down hard against mine. I have nothing stopping me from giving myself completely. The alcohol has removed all barriers and I lose myself in his kiss. He hugs me tighter to him and I move my hand up to his neck and the curly black hair that hangs over his shirt. He kisses my neck and his hand moves slowly up my shirt. An unexpected wave breaks at our feet wetting our clothes and breaking up our kissing. We move away from the water but I grab on to his shirt and kiss him again. He kisses me softly and stops. “Lany, we shouldn’t do this,” he whispers against my ear. It is not what I wanted to hear. I want to get rid of this fire burning in my tummy but he just holds me tightly and I realise he is right. “Sorry Matt,” I say and tears of frustration and guilt run down my face.

“No Lany baby please don’t cry, I didn’t mean it like that,” he tries to comfort me and I let him. “It is not that I don’t want to kiss you, I want to very badly, but I know it is not what you really want. It is not worth it Lany, believe me.” He holds me for a long time while quiet drunk tears run down my face freely. “It just kills me, the not knowing. I have so many questions I want to ask him and things I want to know but I don’t think I will ever do that, even if I do get the chance.” We walk back to his car and he drives me home. It is late and my dad is already sleeping. He walks me to my room and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Happy birthday Lany,” he says and I look up to the clock on the wall. It shows that it is a quarter past twelve. I hug him tightly and then he leaves. I walk to my shower and get in to wash off the night. Maybe Alex was right and Matt is the better man for me. I love him and there is definitely something there when we kiss. I am sure I could be happy with that. I guess having one flame that burns forever is better than having a raging fire that burns out quickly. I climb into bed and think of what I need to do. I am confused so I decide not think of it anymore. Maybe in a few months time I will know what to do but right now I need to sleep, I have a big party tomorrow and it is going to take all my energy to play the role of the happy rich man’s daughter.

My Blackberry announces that I have a few new BBM’s and one new email. I sit up in my bed and reach for the phone. I read the happy birthday wishes from Emma, Lin and a few other people I am not really friends with. Before I scroll to my emails my phone rings. Aunty Lee and Uncle Nick both wish me a happy birthday and say that they hope I enjoy the party tonight. They hang up at last and then my dad knocks at the door. “Rosie, are you up yet?”

“Come in dad,” I say and again can’t check my email. I put down my phone when my dad comes in and get up out of bed. He hugs me and rubs my head, “happy birthday my daughter,” he says and I smile at him. “Thanks dad,” I say.

“I know I always give you your presents in the morning but today you will have to wait for later,” I pull up my shoulders,

“That’s okay dad,” I can wait. He laughs and leaves. I walk to my bathroom and take a long bath. Then I spend twenty minutes drying and straightening my long hair until it looks very smooth and I leave it down. I dress and make my bed. Then I remember the email. I pick up my phone and click on the envelope.

Alex Dover

My legs feel weak and I walk over to the couch to sit down. I open the email and read each word carefully.

To: Lane Rose

Re: Birthday wishes

Apr 30, 2013 8:30

Dearest Lane

Happy birthday. I hope you have a good day and that you will enjoy your party tonight. I didn’t want to contact you but with the recent turn of events I thought that you should be informed. I have returned to England only to find that my case did not look well at all. Karin has done everything she could and even my father has tried his best but it seems that the evidence together with her accusations is much stronger than we thought. I wanted to write this email to you not only to wish you a happy birthday but also to say goodbye, for good this time. If you had even a little bit of hope for us to get together again please let it go. In less than two weeks I will be locked up for at least twenty years. You need to move on and enjoy everything that life has to offer. You have a long life ahead of you, live it to the fullest.

All my love

Alex

I think of replying but I wouldn’t know where to start. Why would I? He didn’t tell me he was going back to England for his hearing, he dumped me. He didn’t give me any reasons he just left me there, broken. I put my phone down next to my bed and leave my room. I join my dad for breakfast but just push my food around on my plate. “Everything okay Rosie? You look a bit pale,” I smile at him,

“Yes thanks dad, I’m fine.” When we are done eating I go outside to see where the noise is coming from. Bronya and about ten other people are scurrying around our deck and pool area setting up lights and moving furniture around. She walks over to me and wishes me a happy birthday. Staying here all day and watching them set up for this ridiculous party, I don’t want to be a part of any more, seems like the worst idea I can think of. I send Emma a message to ask if she would like to join me on the beach for a few hours but she is busy getting the house ready for Bessie and Sarah’s return. I don’t feel like being alone but I could think of worse things so I shower, grab my bag and drive my quad to the beach. The beach is packed with divers sitting under gazebos. I don’t want to be noticed by anyone so I take my hat out of my bag and put on my sunglasses. Then I walk down the quieter side of the beach towards the South. The cool water laps at my feet and I pick up shells like I used to do when I was little and our family went on beach holidays. I wonder what my mom would look like if she was still alive. Would she show a few grey hairs like my dad does? What would she have bought me for my birthday? What did my dad buy me? I hope it is not something that will embarrass me but I doubt I will be spared that. A red ribbon catches my eye and I realise I have walked all the way to the wooden stairs of the house Alex bought. My first instinct is to turn and run but my feet betray me and before I can stop them they have climbed all the way to the top. It is the first time I see the house in the daylight. It looks just as magical as it did that night. I walk closer to the huge glass door and peep in; everything is exactly the way we left it. I don’t know what I will do with it, so many questions once again. I walk back down the stairs and sit down on the bottom one. I think about my future and the life my father has planned for me. Is that really what I want to do? Run his business. I cannot see myself working with so many people or showing as much interest in growing trees and selling wood. I need to tell him that but first I need to figure out what it is that I would like to do. I want to make my own money, and be independent or at least try to be to the best of my ability. Then there on the bottom step of the house, Alex bought for us, an idea starts forming in my head. I still have the rest of the year to figure out whether it is what I want and with it only being April it means I have eight months to do so.

Lunch at the golf club with dad was much harder than I anticipated. My plan was to put off telling him about not being interested in taking over his business but I couldn’t help hinting in that direction all afternoon. He took the little hints much better than I thought he would and I saw that as a good sign, but it exhausted me. He stayed a little longer as usual and I drove my bike back home to where the party decorations has been completed and a few people dressed in black and white were standing around waiting for orders. Thandi is busy in the kitchen keeping cold what has to be cooled and counting and wiping wine glasses. We still have two hours before the guests arrive so I take some time to work on a song in my studio. I have my guitar plugged in even though I am the only one who can hear it. I have found that it helps drowning out thoughts and even though I have a lot to think about I will leave it for after tonight. I play my new song but I have lost all feeling for it. So I work on the music of the song I thought out on the beach this morning. It is way more depressing but I like it. My phone rings and I see that it is Matt. I put down my guitar and answer. “Lany baby I am right outside your door,” I hang up and when I open the studio door he is standing there with a bunch of white roses and a box. I feel a bit shy looking at him now after what happened last night but he hands over the roses and gives me a big hug, “Happy birthday.” I put them on my desk and then he hands me the box. “I know you probably have it all sorted out already but I thought... well just open the box and see,” I laugh and open the blue box. A beautiful red cocktail dress that matches his tie perfectly lies folded neatly in soft tissue. “Matt,” I gasp and take the dress out carefully. It is low cut and has a halter neck and it is the perfect size. “How did you know my size?” I ask.

“I had some help with that thanks to Thandi,” he says and I smile brightly at him. “Thank you so much, it is beautiful,” I say and hug him again. “Well, I don’t want to rush you but I think it’s time you start to get ready for your party,” he is right and I shove him out the door and get ready.