The Awakening (21 page)

              Raina looked down at her lap. "You can't just make yourself scarce now," she whispered. "I won't let you."

              He grinned. "No, I can't do that now," he admitted. “But we can set boundaries."

              She nodded in understanding. "What kind of boundaries?"

              His eyes swung back to her. "We have to be friends Raina. You have to treat me as you would Emily."

              She laughed at this. "You are not Emily!"

              He chuckled. "No, but please understand me. You can't be so willing with me. Act so attracted..."

              "I wasn't acting," she argued.

              He nodded. "Neither was I...but we can't be that way Raina. I can't protect you if I know I could be kissing you."

              A pink flush crossed her cheeks. She felt a thrill knowing she had that kind of effect on him. He was such a gentleman...if she denied him, he would do all he could to respect her wishes.

              "Have you always been so dedicated to doing the job correctly?"

              He nodded. "Always."

              "Then I will help you," she promised. "We will be friends," she whispered. "I'd rather have you as a friend, then not have you at all."

              He smiled his slow easy grin. "Thank you."

              Her eyes skimmed his face. "Is there something in particular I should avoid?"

              She watched with astonishment as an actual flush brushed Nolan’s cheeks.

              "My hair?"

              She let herself take in the dark thickness, and her fingers literally twitched in temptation. "Your hair?"

              "It’s too intimate," he admitted.

              She recalled how soft, how thick, how sexy it had been with fistfuls of the dark hair. Yes, it was intimate...even the thought of touching it now. "Okay I will refrain," she said with hesitation.

              He swallowed and broke their gaze. "Thank you," he whispered again. His shoulders relaxed with relief.

              She nodded, and then squinted into the water. "So...with that settled...can I ask a few questions?"

              He shrugged.

              She wriggled with excitement. "You are incredibly strong...”

              He sighed. "A certain amount of strength was allotted me when I was...cursed." He drew in a breath. "My total senses were improved. I can hear extraordinarily well...darkness does not hinder my sight. All my senses...taste, touch smell were enhanced."

              "Do you sleep?"

              He smiled and nodded. "I sleep...need my eight hours in fact!"

              "And you have a gift with the dreams...or at least altering real life to feel like a dream."

              "Yes," he agreed. "If I wanted you to believe this whole day was a dream I could with just a touch... or a phrase."

              "Like..... You have to wake up Raina?" Her eyes twinkled. "I hate that phrase."

              He chuckled. "Yes, something like that. But it wouldn't work as well now...now that you know."             

              She bit her lip. "I had other dreams you know...with you....but they weren't real, were they?"

              "Like on the deck when you rudely fell asleep on me?" he teased. "No, that was not my doing." He lifted his brows. "Why?"

              "I didn't kiss you then," she said with relief.

              "Not that day," he teased.

              She blushed, and pressed on with her questions. “The eye color? You and Thanatos have the most beautiful colored eyes." She thought of Thanatos' gorgeous ochre eyes...they were unearthly. And now with the silver ones turned to her, she was certain there was some sort of gift at work here.

              He frowned. "Those ugly green eyes? You like those?"

              She blushed. "Yes...they are lovely and you know it! I know he’s a green eyed devil Nolan...but he’s a rather handsome one...those eyes are quite vivid."

              He frowned in disgust. "They are more vivid I suppose then before." He shrugged. "Before...I had darker grey....Thanatos were actually hazel...or so he's told me."

              Her eyes widened. "Have you known him since before you...changed?"

              Nolan nodded. "He was...well, he was given immortality a decade or so before me."

              Raina bit her lip. "Did you know he was immortal before?" Her eyes lit with curiosity. “Was it he who did it? To you?"

              He seemed a little put off by the question...as if by revealing it, he revealed more then he really wanted to. "No, it wasn't him. And No, I had no idea he was any different from me. I'm not as perceptive as you." He shrugged.

              "Was there a reason you were given this gift?"

              He scowled at the word gift. "I was dying."

              Raina gasped. "Dying? “ The thought of that ripped her insides a bit.

              "I was in an accident, well, not so much an accident," he corrected. "I was....shot."

              She cried out in surprise. "Shot?"

              "Thanatos."

              Raina was on edge now. "He shot you?"

              He nodded, shifting uncomfortably.

              She sat forward. "If he was trying to kill you, he obviously wasn't the one who saved you. Who then? Why?" She rested a hand on his. "Did he have a change of heart and decide to take it back?"

              He leaned back and shook his head. "He doesn't have that kind of power." He cleared his throat. "Elenora," he whispered. "She made it happen, and if you were to ask her why, she'd say it was love."

              Raina's mouth dropped open. "It was a she?" Her mind worked overtime...memories of Thanatos snide remarks about a "her" or "she" He had eluded to a female, but she'd never picked that up.

              "Thanatos knew her," she whispered.

              His eyes remained down turned.

              She drew in a slow breath. "I know her!" Her blue eyes were wide with shock. "The she-devil?"

              He grimaced. "Yes, she set the plan in motion to change me." He ducked his head. "And, also did the same for Thanatos. He loved her."

              She inhaled deeply at this remark. "Thanatos? In love?" That didn't seem possible.

              "I know, but he was...very much so. He should tell you the story. I've gotten bits and pieces of it over all these years. Apparently she drew him in easily. She’s broken his heart a good many times, but he goes back to her every time. She still uses him when she can. "

              "She still visits often?"

              "Sometimes," he sighed. He sounded as though that disturbed him.

              Raina bit her lip. "You said she would say it was for love? So she was in love with you?"

              He took in a deep breath.

              "Poor Thanatos," she whispered.

              He laughed at that. Nolan reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. "That’s why I was shot."

              Raina's heart leapt. "Jealousy?"

              "Yeh...but for nothing. I didn't love her. Elenora was...is beautiful...she was full of life...fun, back then, but I was not interested. Thanatos was enamored by her...she had turned him after all. Just to use him," he growled.

              Raina bit her lip..."You have to start from the beginning," she whispered.

              He sighed. "I met Thanatos through friends. He was the one that introduced me to Elly. I knew from the get go he was enamored by her. I mean crazy in love with her. They were all over each other...it was obvious there was something a lot more physical going on there. It was sickening to be around them at times...all the intimacy. And it was selfish...their relationship. Everything revolved around them. It didn't matter on my end. I wasn't interested in her. I did, however, enjoy Thanatos friendship. We played cards.... raced horses together...at times included her."

              "You were friends?" Raina smiled, liking that idea. It gave her hope for the two of them.

              He grinned. "Hard to believe, huh?“ he chuckled.

              She leaned closer, ready for more of the story.

              "She started joining us more often. She'd tease Thanatos that he should be more of a gentleman like me. Thanatos hated it, but would just laugh it off. I tried suggesting we leave her out of the picture when we were doing guy stuff. I was hoping he would agree, but he loved having her around.

              Soon, Elenora started giving me that vibe...she'd reach for me to help her dismount her horse, when Thanatos stood arms uplifted, or take my arm as all three of us took a walk. I always tried to shy away, but she pursued. I could tell it upset him....so I brought it up, apologized...promised him my intentions were pure. He seemed to accept that and I continued ignoring her." He shook his head. "She seemed to take that as encouragement...or a challenge, and it got worse. She became more brazen it seemed. Then one night, we were at a party...she pulled me into a dark hall." He drew in a breath. "I made a mistake."

              Raina bit her lip. "Like last night with me?"

              His silver eyes darkened. "Totally different Aelan. I didn't care for her. And I didn't invite it...or enjoy it as much."

              Raina bit her lip harder.

              "I allowed her to kiss me. I'm only a man." His fingers gripped the side of the rock. "It was stupid." His lips thinned in disgust. "It was a moment of weakness I wish I could take back."

              "Thanatos caught you," Raina whispered.

              Nolan grimaced. "He called me out on it. I tried to talk sense into him, but he'd have none of it. I got home, and he was there, with his gun. It all happened quickly, and before I knew it...I was waking up in an unfamiliar bedroom, Elenora leaning over me…a man she claimed was her grandfather was there. She went on and on about how she had talked her grandfather into giving me a gift. That we could be together now. How she was glad I'd been shot...it gave her the chance to have me." He frowned.

              "You have to be dying to have forever given to you."

              Nolan gave one nod.

              "Her grandpa…cursed you??"

              He nodded.

              "Who is he?"

              Nolan again rubbed his neck. "In my society, he's called a Changer," he whispered. "Certain of us have that gift. They get the right to give life back. Once they give you immortality, you owe them something in return. It could be, you give finances....you offer your mind...your body. It just depends."

              She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged herself. "What was expected of you?"

              He frowned. "Elenora wanted me."

              "But she had Thanatos," Raina growled.

              His eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Very perceptive of you, Aelan," he whispered. "Yes...Thanatos was hers for physical matters. She wanted more though...she even went as far as to insist I was her mate.” He shrugged. "Lucky for me, her grandpa has a bit more level head. He reminded her he had already allowed for her to have one. He saved me because he saw something in me."

"You would help financially then? You would be a part of...immortal society in that way?"

              He nodded.

              "I'm still confused about why you and our green eyed devil are joined at the hip."

              Nolan shrugged. "Elenora was upset that I decided to go along with her grandpa’s wishes. She felt I should suffer for my dismissal of her. Since Thanatos was hers to order as she wished...she ordered he stick with me, watch me, report to her."

              "Which he does?"

              Nolan nodded.

              "And he still loves her?" Her blue eyes clouded.

              "I think after all that it changed for him. It became more physical than anything. I've heard since she’s taken up with mortals," he shook his head, as though the idea bothered him...disgusted him. "And needs him less and less. She still has a hold on him...which is our way. So she can pretty much tell him to do something, and he will."

              Raina frowned. "I don't get it. She has no need or want for him, but she'll still use him? How can she do that?" Raina felt a bit of sympathy for the green eyed man.

              "If we are bestowed a "mortal" that one that is made "immortal" is ours. We can use them as we please, as long as we don't hurt them."

              Raina growled. "How is it not hurtful for her to use a man who loved her?"

              "She's not beating or torturing him physically...she’s just playing mind games with him."