The Awakening (9 page)

              She gave a half smile. "So how many girls have you done this to?"

              He blushed, really blushed. "Only you...I don't mean complication as in our situation...just in life in general."

              She felt relief at his admission.

              "So what will it be Raina? Real or dream?"

              His words seemed a little fuzzy to her, dream like even...and she hated that her focus was diverted from anything but him. She closed her eyes for a moment, thinking, concentrating, shaking off the left over sleepiness from her almost nap.

              "Raina?" he implored softly.

              "Just so darn tired as of late," she admitted. "And the dreams......"

              He smiled a small, tummy curling smile...again as if he was sharing a secret joke. "Dreams make things easier, that’s for sure."

              "But I never know any more if I'm awake or...." She leaned back in her chair and regarded him again.

              "Do you prefer the dream?"

              She bit her lip. "I guess I...I want..." She closed her eyes, just for a second.

              Raina shook her head, opening them again, looking over at the beautiful man beside her. She smiled, and reached out her free hand let her fingers trace the god like contour of his cheek and jaw. "If you are a dream, it would be completely proper for me to be doing this. No social awkwardness of...we just meet...is it too fast?" She smiled. Her heart again slammed against her ribs. "I could kiss you now....and it would be okay, but it would only be my imagination. It would be really nice if this was real though....I can do this," her breath caught. She leaned forward, both hands touching his face. His grey eyes held hers. He didn't pull away. That’s strange, he almost always pulled away, but he remained still. She could smell him, the scent that always invaded her senses. "And it would be...." Her lips touched the perfect shape of his, and he tasted oh so good. For a moment he was as motionless as a statue, but his reaction seconds later, floored her.

              His hands grasped her arms, and she was easily settled into his lap, his arms cradling her. He kissed her properly, gently. His mouth was soft and skilled; she felt the warmth flow through her all the way to her toes. There was an aggression though that he was suppressing for her sake, and she knew it.

              She reveled in the soothing touch his lips provided, but she wanted more.

              Raina gripped the back of his neck, and drew him closer to her, so that their lips were not merely touching, they were melding.  Her arms went about his neck now, conforming herself to the contours of his muscled frame. She heard his growl of protest, but got her desired reaction when his arms tightened and his lips parted. She melted, then, she met his assault, knew he desired her as strongly.

              When she pulled at his tie, and unbuttoned the top button, then several more, he trembled. "Raina," he breathed.

              She pulled the tucked shirt out, opened it to his shoulders. Only then did she pull away, just to look at him. He was perfection. Her fingers shook as she touched the smooth skin. Her eyes lifted to his, now a dark grey. She smiled, and then kissed him again, her arms wrapped around him and his warm skin heated her bare arms. He lay back, drawing her on top, as they kissed.

              This is madness, her mind shouted...what am I doing? But she couldn’t stop herself from doing it. Where has this come from? Why is he allowing her to touch him?

              His hands moved down her back, resting on her hips. He applied a slight pressure there, tugged at the edge of her shirt, and then his hands slipped beneath, touching the skin of her lower back. His trailing fingers felt like fire against her sensitive skin.

              He was tenderly brushing his lips across hers, down her jaw nuzzling her neck, His teeth grazed her there. His breath came in heavily, as he attempted to calm himself, quiet his excitement. "Raina," he sighed. "Aelan, you have to wake up."

              Raina shook her head. "No, no I like this dream."

              He grinned up at her...she swore she saw sweat break out along his forehead. "I do too....but you have to wake up...Now!"

              And she did, with a sharp gasp of disapproval. "No," she groaned softly. She set her head in her hands and groaned once more. She was sure that she was going mad. The droning buzzing bees were still drilling out their annoying sound, and she was still on her chase on her back deck....and she was devastated and relieved that she had not made a fool of herself.

              She cried out when a hand rested on her shoulder. She drew back, ready to fight. A strangled sound of surprise and humiliation escaped her lips.

              "Are you okay? You fell asleep midsentence." Nolan’s gentle grey eyes twinkled.

              "So you aren't a dream are you?" her heart beat pounded away at her poor ribs, which didn’t want to expand for her to breathe.

              He chuckled, giving her a quick grin. "No, but you certainly were dreaming a moment ago. I sat here waiting for your answer, and you slipped away from me! You must really be lacking in the sleep department," he teased.

              "Did I say anything? In my...sleep." Her cheeks flushed hot and pink.

              Nolan shook his head, but glanced away. This told her he was being ever the gentleman. He had known what she was dreaming about, or at least had guessed as much.

              "What is wrong with me?" She sat up straighter, turned to her guest. "Why is this happening to me? Why are you here?"

              "I came to see how you..."

              "Damn it Nolan, quit! I want reality...I don't want the dream...there’s your answer...so quit playing games! Only, the other times weren't dreams were they?  The one I just had...well, it was a dream, wasn't it?" She blushed to the roots of her hair.

              He nodded. "But it’s a pity...it seemed like it was quite a nice dream." His smile was warm, and teasing.

              She blushed. It took a moment for her to find her voice again. "All the others....they actually happened?" she croaked.

              He swallowed, summoned courage, and nodded. The long strong fingers reached found purchase at the back of his neck

              Raina frowned, her brow furrowed. "But each time...I awoke, just where I had been before each supposed dream happened. It was like...well, just like now, that it was happening, then poof....gone."

              Nolan drew in a breath. "You weren't intended to see those things...experience them. I was not supposed to be in contact like that...I wanted you to forget them...or at least believe they hadn't happened. So I made you think they were dreams."

              "Then reality...well the reality of meeting Clay...then you....kind of messed up your game."

              "Not a game," he growled. "I wasn't intending on playing with you. I simply wanted to protect you...and then you made that impossible!!" His accusation was so passionate, his hands trembled.

              "I? Me? I made it impossible?" She frowned. "How did I accomplish this? Because I certainly did not ask for this!!" She bit her lips to prevent any more words. She hadn't asked for this...but she certainly wanted it now.

              "How was I to know you would react to me with anything but indifference, or even fear? You have been so closed, so deep in your mourning.....but your reaction to me each time! It was not the reaction of a mourning woman. You made it exciting for me too...so much so, I...I don't want to stay away, even though I need to do that desperately!" His gaze dropped away from hers, fell to the ground.

              She studied the top of his down turned head. The warm beautiful locks begged to be touched...combed by her own fingers. That thought made her realize exactly what he was saying. She had not felt this way about anyone....not since David.

              He felt the shift in her mood, and looked up at her gently. "You're not in complete mourning...but you still do miss him," he whispered. “I hope you don't think I'm saying any of this in accusation. You're doing now what I had hoped you eventually do...what David had maybe wanted for you. Maybe not...fall in love, I don't believe you are in love ...but feel something...anything for another person." His beautiful face took on a deep sadness. "You just weren’t supposed to feel those "anythings" for me. That was not the plan."

              Raina pulled back her hair, gripped the back of her neck and breathed deeply. "What plan?" Her blue eyes implored his.

              He opened his mouth to answer, but a sound at the gate to the side yard stopped him. They both turned their gaze to the returning duo.

              Turk gave a bark of greeting, his tail wagged jubilantly. He raced up the deck stairs.

              Raina expected him to bowl her over...instead; he leaped on Nolan, wetting his face with a kiss. The dog whined deep in his throat, trying to draw nearer...even though he was close as he could get to the man.

              Emily looked forlornly at the leash dangling from Turks neck. He had overpowered her to greet the newcomer. Her forlorn stance melted when she saw Nolan.

              "What a pleasant surprise," she laughed. "Raina, did you purposely banish me then..."she teased. She looked very pleased.

              Raina smiled. "Nolan showed up shortly after you left," she admitted.

              "Hmm, I'd offer to take Turkey here for a longer walk to leave you be, but there will be no getting him away from his newest friend!" She shook her head, then stepped up the stairs, patted Nolan on the shoulder...Turk took up the use of his hands. She sat next to her friend on the long chase, sitting down the small brown bag from the store. "Dog does have good taste though," she whispered to her friend.

              Raina blushed.

              Nolan roughed the dog’s ears, and stared over at the two friends. "He always this loving?"

              "Oh he’s loving," Emily admitted. "I’ve just never seen him react like this before." She bit her lip, and looked to Raina. "That is, except with..." she hesitated. “Well, with David."

              Nolan froze for a second, looking to Raina. He shook his head, grinned, and turned his attention back to the overgrown pup.

              Raina swallowed. Her eyes followed the gentle petting motion of Nolan's hands. It warmed her, as did the small glance he threw her way.

              Emily was surprised and thankful for her friend’s reaction. She had expected hurt to filter the blue eyes...and though it was there for just a second, it disappeared quickly. She nudged her shoulder against Raina's. She felt nothing but pride now.

              "So you couldn't wait for the BBQ to see the damsel in distress?" Emily smiled at Nolan.

              He shook his head. "That, and your husband insisted I might want to take time out of my lunch break to do so!" He grinned.

              Raina gave a sound of disapproval, and Emily threw her head back and laughed.

              "Oh, that husband of mine. He can't help his meddling. I apologize for his behavior, and his insistence!"

              Nolan shook his head. "I didn't give him much of a fight though," he admitted. "I'm glad he suggested it." His greys darkened slightly, and a grin pulled at the corner of his lovely mouth. "A simple call may have been okay....but a visit was much more rewarding."

              Raina felt the butterflies. "It was very nice of you," she croaked out...her throat had gone dry.

              Emily was beside herself, happily watching the exchange. She kind of wished she had taken longer on the walk. The vibe she was feeling, told her much had been going on before her arrival.

              Nolan cleared his throat and set Turk on all fours. He gave the loving pooch a look that Turk readily obeyed, and did not jump up on him. "I should be heading back though....." he reached for his beautifully tailored jacket, and brushed the fur from his lap.

              "Oh, I'll grab a lint brush," Emily offered. She glanced toward Raina. “You guys go ahead and say your goodbyes!" She scurried to the sliding glass door, Turk at her heels, Percy waiting at the door.

              Nolan stood, smiling. "She’s not liking this at all is she?"

              Raina laughed, standing as well, but not nearly as tall as he stood. Her head barely reached his shoulders. She took a breath to calm her nerves, so she could say her goodbye. To her joy, and distress, when she did, she drew in that scent that was Nolan. It made her pulse flutter a bit. "N-no not...not at all," she sighed.

              He slid into his jacket, ignoring the dog hair. "Are you okay?"

              She shrugged, suddenly shy with him. "About the plan you spoke of..."

              "We still have a lot to talk about," he said softly. "I know you're confused." He took her hand and squeezed gently, releasing her quickly. "If you want, I can just disappear," he promised.

              Raina shook her head. No, that was the last thing she wanted. "I want to see you again," she whispered.