The Awakening (23 page)

              Nolan pushed aside his food and moved his chair closer. "You were unaware of me for so long...it was easy to hide from him that I watched over you. That night, it changed. I'm still trying to figure out why. But that night you opened yourself to our World...which meant opening yourself to Thanatos, and I had to step in. He was so angry I had tricked him.”

              "I'm glad it happened," she whispered.

              He looked down at her hand, and then took it in his own. "I've been selfish, wanting to be in your life."

              Raina squeezed his hand. "I have mourned for my husband. I have closed my life off to everyone. You have opened that back up, Nolan...continue being selfish, please. I need you here. Your friendship has given me what I've needed to break out of my self-loathing!"

              He smiled.

              She bit her lip "So,Thanatos....what are his plans?”

              Nolan hesitated. "It will sound crazy." His shoulders shook with a silent chuckle.

              She lifted her brow. "Try me."

              He smiled and shrugged. “He wants to make you immortal to be his lover?"

              Raina gasped at that. "Every girls dream huh?" She shook her head. "He could probably convince any number of girls to do that...why me?"

              "Why not you?" his eyes glinted defensively. "You're not just simply any other girl."

              Raina was startled at his exclamation, and touched by it too. "Would I really have to die for his plan to succeed?"

              He frowned. "The usual protocol for the change is to be on deaths door. You don’t actually die to become immortal."

              "The usual protocol? So there has been the unusual?"

              "Raina," he growled.

              "Go ahead and frown at me. I understand you suffer, but I don't think you are cursed, Nolan. I envy you."

              "Have you not heard a word I said?" He rubbed the back of his neck roughly.

              "With the right person...immortality may be, enjoyable." She turned away, blushing.

              He cleared his throat. "You can't understand...you haven't lived my life."

              "No, but I'm thankful you were given immortality."

              He scowled. "Why would you say that?"

              Her blue eyes began to tear up a bit. "I wasn't alive two hundred years ago...even a hundred and fifty...when there was a chance I could have meet an elderly man with dark grey eyes. If you hadn't been given this, Nolan, I never would have met you."

              His now silver eyes looked sad. He nodded. "But, now I have to one day say goodbye to you. The thought tears at me. I will continue on without you.” His voice dipped low, and his silver eyes were in agony. “That is my curse."

Chapter 8 My Curse

            
 
"That is my curse...." Raina woke up with this in her mind. It had been in her dreams too. She was starting to understand Nolan. And he was weaving himself more and more into her heart.

              He had tried to save David! Even against his own beliefs, in the end, he offered him immortality. David had decided in the end to finish out his life. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. Had he decided to leave her? Or was it, he was leaving life as it was. Either way, he had passed…even with beautiful supernatural beings around.

              She stretched tiredly in her bed. Her sleep had been broken. Part of it was her lack of peace the last few days. Nolan had become scarce. After their talk...their boundary setting, he had promised she'd be safe...he'd be watching. But he hadn't shown up...no texts, no calls. He was being silent.

              And she was hating it! A lack of Nolan gave her a serious case of insomnia. She wanted to fight it...to tell him it was still okay, she would deal with the immortality thing. But she was afraid to call him...to text. The ball was still in his court and she was on the other side waiting for a sign. Even Thanatos had not made an appearance.

              Thanatos....was he with his beloved Elenora? Was he keeping up on his duties? Both shadowing Nolan, and taking care of her in more physical ways? She didn't like either. She hated Elenora in fact...even if she had made it possible for her to meet Nolan.

              Frustration caused a growl deep in her throat, and Raina threw off her comforter and sheet, startling Turk. She might as well get the day going. Percy leapt gracefully to the ground and followed her downstairs.

              She flipped on the coffee maker, let Turk out, and turned to feed the yowling cat. It was the same routine she had every morning. For a while there though, there had been the intrigue of what is going to happen today? She'd even welcome a pop in from Thanatos. That way, at least she could believe she hadn't fantasized it all.

              She even considered trekking into the woods. Nolan seemed to like it there...at least she'd had great experiences with him there. Silas of the woods, she thought with a smile. But he wouldn't be there, she was certain of it!

              Turk barked to be let in, and then she parked her butt at the dining room table with her coffee. She couldn't think of trying to stomach food. She could read...maybe write, keep her mind off the craziness she had encountered these last few weeks.

              She invited it though, wanted it, the craziness...and it was hanging her high and dry. Normalcy was leaving a bad taste in her mouth.

              Her mind pursued scenarios of how to put herself in that path again. Call on Thanatos? Yes, that would do it, get Nolan’s attention, but she wasn't brave enough to put herself in harm’s way. She knew she'd find one or the other at work....McRay Inc. What reason would she have for going? No, that would look desperate.

              "But I am," she sighed. She had known him for such a short period of time. Why was her need for him so great?

              Her mind again flickered to Elenora. Had she weaseled her way in? The dark beauty? The she-devil. Raina shook off the thought. She believed Nolan when he said there was nothing there. But she was around now...possibly up to something, and Raina had not heard from Nolan. What else was she to think? She just wanted to see his face...hear his voice, and know he was okay!

              She swallowed down her coffee and went for her phone. It was not his number she dialed. She bit her lip, and anxiously waited for a pick up on the other end.

              "Em, I'm depressed," she sighed into the phone.

              "Raina," she sighed back. "David?"

              Raina smiled sadly, and said past a sob, "No, Nolan."

              She heard Emily’s intake of breath, and knew it surprise and pleasure. "Has he called?"

              "No."

              "And you guys had a good day together, right?"

              "It was four days ago," Raina lamented. "I think I scared him off."

              Emily laughed softly. "Impossible! Maybe he's just...busy. Bradley is quite the whip cracker. Trust me, I know!"

              Her voice said she was teasing, but Raina still blushed. "Honestly...do you two ever get enough?" she teased.

              "Of Bradley? Never," she said honestly. Emily was hopelessly in love with her husband. "Besides that though...work wise, they have been swamped! Now why would you think you scared him off?"

              Raina sat down again in her seat at the table. "Not even a text! We did talk a lot about David," she admitted. "Perhaps he feels I...I'm not ready."

              Emily was quiet for a moment. "Could be...but have you heard from Thanatos either?"

              "No."

              "There...it has to be work! One or the other would have contacted you if they even had time to think!!" Emily sounded with a bit of relief too.

              "Maybe..."

              "Rain, what is it? There’s something else too."

              "I met...well, saw someone from his past. This woman...this drop dead gorgeous woman who was in love with him. Who he sees now and then...who Thanatos was meeting the night we ran into her. I can't help but think...she may be in the picture." She bit her lip...just saying it out loud made it worse.

              "Did he seem interested?"

              "He said he wasn't."

              "Well then...see?"

              Raina drew in a breath. "He did go say hello to her though."

              "Oh," Emily squeaked a little.

              "What!?"

              "N...nothing...it’s just...if they're still talking..."

              "Spit it out Emily McRay!" Raina was sweating now.

              "It doesn't mean he's into her...but they still have some sort of connection if he is still on speaking terms. Maybe seeing her confused him. I still believe he's just swamped with work," Emily assured her. "Now, what’s say you and I go for lunch? I'll get your mind off of the ever gorgeous Nolan Gregor with some much needed shopping after we stuff our face with yummy Mexican food!!!"

              "More shopping?" Raina groaned.

              "Yes," Emily barked. "Oh and I forgot to tell you, Monday, you me and Donna are going for coffee. She called me last night and went on and on how nice it was to see you. She really missed you Rain."

              Raina smiled. "I didn't know until I saw her again how much I missed her too," she admitted.

              "Girl time...that’s what you need! I will be there around noon...be ready!"

              The call ended abruptly, as was Emily’s way.

              Raina set her cell down and stared down at Turk. She'd need to exercise him before she left. It never went well when he was left for a long period of time inside.

              "Let me get dressed, and we'll go throw the ball for a bit, ok boy?"

              His tail thumped in response.

              "And you...mister..." she pointed at Percy, "I won't leave you empty handed," she promised. She ran up the stairs, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, and hurried back, pulling her long hair back into a ponytail.

              She went to the cupboard they both knew well. It contained the toys, their food, and their treats. It was always a good thing to the fluffs when she opened that door. She pulled out Turks pull rope, which worked well for fetch too. Percy got his jingle ball, which, when infused with catnip, made one happy cat! She tossed it for him, then grabbing her cell, she headed outside with the anxious collie.

              The sun peaked a bit through the clouds. It was a tease...today was supposed to be rainy. She unhooked the gate and allowed Turk out in the yard. She set her phone on the railing carefully. From the porch she began throwing the rope across the yard, and he began the game of fetch and throw.

              Raina found herself scanning the trees. They weren't there though...they'd be working. She found herself wondering about others. How many immortals had she unknowingly met, and would never know? It was an intriguing thought. There were three she now had seen...a fourth, responsible for Nolan that she may never see...but felt she would like him. Even if he was the grandfather of the she-devil.

              Involuntarily, an image of the long dark hair, the chocolate brown eyes, perfect skin, height and stature came to Raina. She felt the jealousy. She had never been threatened by another woman’s beauty...even her lovely friend Emily. And Raina had always been content with being the cute one, with her long blonde hair...bright blue eyes and petite stature. But the thought of the perfect being, in love with Nolan bothered her. He had to see the difference in the two of them. Maybe he had been momentarily taken by her cuteness...but what man could resist Elenora's charms? Maybe he realized what he was trading down for.

              Raina blinked back a tear and tossed the rope. But he had said Elenora was ugly in her ways. Did that really make a difference to a man? And what about the immortality? Raina would one day pass...Elenora was pretty much here to stay. Had he considered that? It would be easier to consider someone less...breakable? Less...mortal?

              She sighed and leaned against the railing of the deck. She watched Turk whip the rope about on his own. He was using up his stored energy.

              Maybe he was staying away for her own good though. If she could be so attached in as little as two weeks...what would happen in the long run when she could not be without him, period? Was that fair to him? As she aged and he remained beautiful and young...what kind of life would that be? At least at the moment, physically, he was still a few years older than her. And she looked many years younger than her age of twenty eight. They could go on ten maybe fifteen years before others would really start to notice. It would break her to have to let him go...or have others look at them strangely.