Read The Autobiography of Red Online
Authors: Anne Carson
Tags: #Literary, #Canadian, #Poetry, #Fiction
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Sometimes a journey makes itself necessary.
SPIRIT RULES SECRETLY ALONE THE BODY ACHIEVES NOTHING
is something you know
instinctively at fourteen and can still remember even with hell in your head
at sixteen. They painted this truth
on the long wall of the high school the night before departing for Hades.
Herakles’ hometown of Hades
lay at the other end of the island about four hours by car, a town
of moderate size and little importance
except for one thing.
Have you ever seen a volcano?
said Herakles.Staring at him Geryon felt his soul
move in his side. Then Geryon wrote a note full of lies for his mother
and stuck it on the fridge.
They climbed into Herakles’ car and set off westward. Cold green summer night.
Active?
The volcano? Yes the last time she blew was 1923. Threw 180 cubic kilometers
of rock into the air
covered the countryside with fire overturned sixteen ships in the bay.
My grandmother says
the temperature of the air rose to seven hundred degrees centigrade downtown.
Caskets
of whiskey and rum burst into flame on the main street.
She saw it erupt?
Watched from the roof. Took a photograph of it, three p.m. looks like midnight.
What happened to the town?
Cooked. There was a survivor—prisoner in the local jail.
Wonder what happened to him.
You’ll have to ask my grandmother about that. It’s her favorite story
—Lava Man.
Lava Man?
Herakles grinned at Geryon as they shot onto the freeway.You’re going to love my family.
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He did not know how long he had been asleep.
Black central stalled night. He lay hot and motionless, that is, motion
was a memory he could not recover
(among others) from the bottom of the vast blind kitchen where he was buried.
He could feel the house of sleepers
around him like loaves on shelves. There was a steady rushing sound
perhaps an electric fan down the hall
and a fragment of human voice tore itself out and came past, it seemed
already long ago, trailing
a bad dust of its dream which touched his skin. He thought of women.
What is it like to be a woman
listening in the dark? Black mantle of silence stretches between them
like geothermal pressure.
Ascent of the rapist up the stairs seems as slow as lava. She listens
to the blank space where
his consciousness is, moving towards her. Lava can move as slow as
nine hours per inch.
Color and fluidity vary with its temperature from dark red and hard
(below 1,800 degrees centigrade)
to brilliant yellow and completely fluid (above 1,950 degrees centigrade).
She wonders if
he is listening too. The cruel thing is, she falls asleep listening.
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Geryon awoke too fast and felt his box contract.
Hot pressure morning. Houseful of tumbling humans and their languages.
Where am I?
Voices from somewhere. He made his way thickly downstairs
and through the house
to the back porch, huge and shadowy as a stage facing onto brilliant day.
Geryon squinted.
Grass swam towards him and away. Joyous small companies of insects
with double-decker wings
like fighter planes were diving about in the hot white wind. The light
unbalanced him,
he sat down quickly on the top step. Saw Herakles stretched on the grass
making sleepy talk.
My world is very slow right now,
Herakles was saying. His grandmothersat at the picnic table
eating toast and discussing death. She told of her brother who was conscious
to the end but could not speak.
His eyes watched the tubes they were putting in and pulling out of him so
they explained each one.
Now we are inserting sap of the queen of the night you will feel a pinch
then a black flow,
said Heraklesin his sleepy voice that no one was listening to. A big red butterfly
went past riding on a little black one.
How nice,
said Geryon,
he’s helping him.
Herakles opened one eye and looked.He’s fucking him.
Herakles!
said his grandmother. He closed his eyes.My heart aches when I am bad.
Then he looked at Geryon and smiled.
Can I show you our volcano?
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Geryon did not know why he found the photograph disturbing.
She had taken it herself standing on the roof of the house that afternoon in 1923
with a box camera. “Red Patience.”
A fifteen-minute exposure that recorded both the general shape of the cone
with its surroundings (best seen by day)
and the rain of incandescent bombs tossed into the air and rolling down its slopes
(visible in the dark).
Bombs had shot through the vent at velocities of more than three hundred kilometers an hour, she told him. The cone itself
rose a thousand meters above the original cornfield and erupted about a million tons
of ash, cinder, and bombs during its early months.
Lava followed for twenty-nine months. Across the bottom of the photograph
Geryon could see a row of pine skeletons
killed by falling ash. “Red Patience.” A photograph that has compressed
on its motionless surface
fifteen different moments of time, nine hundred seconds of bombs moving up
and ash moving down
and pines in the kill process. Geryon did not know why
he kept going back to it.
It was not that he found it an especially pleasing photograph.
It was not that he
did not understand how such photographs are made.
He kept going back to it.
What if you took a fifteen-minute exposure of a man in jail, let’s say the lava
has just reached his window?
he asked.
I think you are confusing subject and object,
she said.Very likely,
said Geryon.
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These days Geryon was experiencing a pain not felt since childhood.
His wings were struggling. They tore against each other on his shoulders
like the little mindless red animals they were.
With a piece of wooden plank he’d found in the basement Geryon made a back brace
and lashed the wings tight.
Then put his jacket back on.
You seem moody today Geryon anything wrong?said Herakles when he saw Geryon
coming up the basement stairs. His voice had an edge. He liked to see Geryon happy.
Geryon felt his wings turn in, and in, and in.
Nope just fine.
Geryon smiled hard with half of his face.
So tomorrow Geryon.Tomorrow?
Tomorrow we’ll take the car and drive out to the volcano you’ll like that.
Yes.
Get some photographs.
Geryon sat down suddenly.
And tonight—Geryon? You okay?Yes fine, I’m listening. Tonight—?
Why do you have your jacket over your head?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Can’t hear you Geryon.
The jacket shifted. Geryon peered out.
I said sometimesI need a little privacy.
Herakles was watching him, his eyes still as a pond. They watched each other,
this odd pair.
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As in childhood we live sweeping close to the sky and now, what dawn is this.
Herakles lies like a piece of torn silk in the heat of the blue saying,
Geryon please.
The break in his voicemade Geryon think for some reason of going into a barn
first thing in the morning
when sunlight strikes a bale of raw hay still wet from the night.
Put your mouth on it Geryon please.
Geryon did. It tasted sweet enough. I am learning a lot in this year of my life,
thought Geryon. It tasted very young.
Geryon felt clear and powerful—not some wounded angel after all
but a magnetic person like Matisse
or Charlie Parker! Afterwards they lay kissing for a long time then
played gorillas. Got hungry.
Soon they were sitting in a booth at the Bus Depot waiting for food.
They had started to practice
their song (“Joy to the World”) when Herakles pulled Geryon’s head
into his lap and began grooming
for nits. Gorilla grunts mingled with breakfast sounds in the busy room.
The waitress arrived
holding two plates of eggs. Geryon gazed up at her from under Herakles’ arm.
Newlyweds?
she said.