The Auction (22 page)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Foster couldn’t stop fidgeting in his seat. He adjusted his tie and played with the buttons on his jacket to give his hands something to do. When it seemed like more time had elapsed, he glanced at his holowatch. It hadn’t even been a full minute since he’d last checked it. He’d never been so eager for a meeting in his life because nothing ever mattered as much to him. When he’d received a call from Macy, he was surprised to see that Victoria had joined her. He was doubly shocked when she requested an audience with him but she’d insisted that it be in a public place.

He’d been certain that after their last meeting she was done with him. Even if she just wanted to see him to curse him out some more, he didn’t care. He loved her so much that he was willing to take any crumbs she threw his way.

When the designated time of their meeting passed he began to wonder if she changed her mind. Just as he was about to give up hope, Victoria was escorted to his table by the maître d’. The moment he saw her approach no one else in the room existed. There was something different about her from when he’d seen her last. She seemed a little leaner and
a
bit tired. The bags under her eyes indicated her lack
of sleep. They still didn’t detract
from her beauty.

He stood up as she approached the table and pulled her chair out for her before the maître d’ had a chance to do it. “Thank you,” she said softly.

He took his seat and barely managed not to pinch himself. He feared this was a dream he’d wake up from. Seeing her again made his heart race. Even if he only got to spend this little bit of time with her, he was happy. “You look well, Victoria.”

“Thank you.”

“Would you like to order anything? This food here is excellent.”

“I’m not really hungry actually. I just wanted to talk.”

“Okay.” He folded his hands on the table. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I need to know if you meant it.”

Foster immediately knew what she
was talking about
. After his confession had practically broken her all over again, he vowed he’d be completely honest with her and tell her anything she wanted to know, the good bad and the ugly. At least if she walked away from him because she couldn’t handle the man he was, then he would have a clear conscience. “Yes. Every word of it. And I haven’t stopped. I love you, Victoria. I think I have almost from the beginning.”

“Why did you wait to tell me when you did instead of earlier?”

“Because love was so new to me. I barely understood it myself at first. How we met wasn’t the ideal circumstances to start some grand love affair, but there I was, holding you in my arms at night after you’d fallen asleep, watching you and thinking that I’d found something precious in you. I didn’t recognize that love at first because all of my life, most things came easy to me. Even women. Girls were throwing themselves at me even before I was a teenager and it was always just one meaningless sexual romp after another.”

“Is that why you participated in the Run, because the women presented a challenge to you?”

“I’ve participated in that game over twenty times to my recollection. Part of it was the sport, but there was another reason that didn’t really have anything to do with the women. But as far as the women I tagged went, besides you I’d only slept with maybe three of them and in each case they were the ones who initiated the encounters with me. Otherwise I would have sent them home. I took no pleasure in taking women who were frightened out of their minds and who were only in it for survival purposes.”

“But I was scared and I made it quite clear that I didn’t want to be there. Why me?”

“I wasn’t lying to you before when I said I saw a light in you that I wanted to consume for myself. I don’t know if it was what you called love at first sight but I knew I couldn’t let you get away. I needed you near me at any cost. My possessive streak came out in full force. I didn’t want any of the other men to have you because the thought of them touching you and holding you drove me mad with rage. You were mine and I was determined to have you. If that makes me sound like an asshole I apologize, but it’s the truth and I don’t regret it, because having you in my life was probably the best thing that had ever happened to me.”

Victoria lowered her head and he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. “I resented the hell out of you at first,” she began, “but even as I told myself I hated you I became addicted to your touch. I began to hate myself for giving in to you so easily. But then you showed me a side of yourself that humanized you. I liked the Foster you showed me. I guess that’s why it hurt so much when you got rid of me because then I had to reconcile with
the fact that the Foster I’d fel
l for wasn’t real.” She didn’t look at him as he spoke but the hurt was clear in her voice.

“That was the real Foster. I was always genuine with you until the end.”

She raised her head and glared at him. The hurt was there and it seemed as if she didn’t quite believe him. “I need to know what exactly you thought you had to protect me
from. What was so bad that you believed
my life was in danger?”

He took a deep breath. This was the part he feared telling her but now was the time to let it all out. “Do you remember when I told you that I wasn’t a good guy?”

“Yes. I remember. I was so confused when you told me that and I couldn’t figure out why you would.”

“Guilt. I was debating on whether I should tell you how I felt but each time it was on the tip of my tongue my past taunted me, reminding me that I didn’t deserve a happy ending. When my bank was set on fire I got a mysterious call that night that told me someone was watching. But what scared me the most
was
that this person indirectly threatened you. I don’t think I would have ever forgiven myself if something were to happen to you based on my past. But I let you go
and in the end
that person harmed you anyway.”

Victoria frowned. “What are you talking about? Who are you talking about?”

“My grandfather was a self-made man, which is a rare feat since it’s almost impossible for a person living in poverty to move up in society unless they part
icipate
in illegal activities. My grandfather was determined to get out of the slums. He didn’t want to be labeled a dreg for the rest of his life so he made his money by robbing, intimidation, gambling, trafficking, anything to earn him some credits. After a while that no longer satisfied him. He wanted status so he found a partner who happened to be going through some financial difficulties at the time. You see, he needed this guy because he had an impeccable family name and came from old money. My grandfather used him to start a bank. But eventually Grandfather forced
him
out of the partnership by having one of his partner’s relatives executed.”

Tori gasped. “Are you serious?”

“I wish I was joking. My grandfather wasn’t exactly what you’d call a nice man. He was used to getting what he wanted and if someone stood in his way he took care of them. The ironic part of the whole thing in that once my grandfather made a large fortune and was wealthy enough to bend
politicians to his will people viewed
him as some kind of upstanding citizen. But what they didn’t know was that he never stopped the illegal activities. Not only that, when I was thirteen, he dragged me into it. He told me I was getting soft like my father. He said I had no killer instinct, and you’ve got to understand, at the time, I believed my grandfather could do no wrong. He’s the one who taught me that if I wanted something I was just supposed to take it. Only the strong survived. As an impressionable kid I ate up every word he said. I wanted to please him so much that I did some bad things, Victoria.”

“Like what?”

“For the most part, Grandfather had given up the petty crimes, but his illegal loans and bribery operation still brought in a great deal of money for him. He didn’t want to give that up. Anyway, if someone got behind on a loan or if he needed to intimidate
a person
, he would have them tortured or badly beaten. He taught me all his techniques and I became so good at it, I was better than him. He let me take over that portion of the underground business and before you ask, yes, I did hurt a lot of people. And in a lot of cases I liked it. At first it was just something I did to gain my grandfather’s approval but then it became some sick addiction. I got off on making someone scream in pain. When I was doing
those things
it was like I had no soul. Part of me knew what I did was evil, but I couldn’t stop. But I justified what I did in my head
by telling myself that
those people deserved it.” He paused to gauge her reaction.

Tori stared at him with a look of utter disbelief. “Oh, Foster,” she whispered in what sounded like a mixture of horror and sadness.

“I know. There’s nothing I can say that can
excuse
what I did even though at the time I certainly tried to. Anyway, my big wake-up call happened when my father was murdered. I never knew who did it but my grandfather seemed to know. My father wasn’t involved in any of the illegal stuff and he never wanted me to follow in my grandfather’s footsteps. But I let him down over and over again. It caused a rift in our relationship. I essentially chose my grandfather over him because I wanted to prove that I was tough, and I’ll live with that regret for the rest of my life. My father tried to lead me down the right path and I laughed in his face. I told him that he wasn’t man enough to stop me from doing what I wanted to do.”

Foster lowered his head in shame as he remembered the hurt in his father’s eyes. That was the day Foster had broken his dad. He’d seen the hurt in the older man’s eyes. In that moment Foster wanted to tell his father that he’d change but he couldn’t because he was in too deep. That was one of the final conversations he’d had with h
is father. And then he was murdered.”

“Foster…I’m sorry. It sounds like he meant a lot you,” Victoria sympathized.

“I didn’t know how much until he was gone. I finally found the strength to walk away from that life because even though he was gone, I wanted to be the kind of man he would have been proud of. My grandfather took Dad’s death pretty hard. He lost all interest in running his various businesses after that and he gladly handed the reins over to me. With all that responsibility suddenly thrust on me, I worked morning, noon and night to go completely legitimate.”

“I broke away from all my underworld contacts and made sure that every business venture under my control didn’t have a hint of illegal activities. But even though I had distanced myself for my criminal past, I felt like there was this monster lurking within me and if someone looked close enough they’d eventually see it. So I wore a mask. I became the person people wanted to see, the nonchalant playboy who didn’t seem to care about much beyond his own pleasure. I did what people in my circle did, spent a lot of money, attended the right parties and was seen with the right people. I even saw participating in The Run as a way to blend in because it was a source of amusement for people in my income bracket. All along, I knew I was shit. I was waiting for someone to expose me. And then I met you.” He broke off.

Foster wasn’t aware of what was going through Victoria’s mind. She looked at him with an expression of mild disbelief, confusion and fear. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me. No matter how bad my day went, a smile from you made everything better. You were everything I wanted in a partner: beautiful, smart, and you weren’t afraid to speak your mind. And every day you were with me
,
in the back of my mind I knew I didn’t deserve you. So when my bank was under attack, I thought this was it. Here was my punishment for all my crimes. I didn’t want what happened to my father to happen to you. I think I would have died myself if that were the case. But it doesn’t end there.”

A tear slid down Victoria’s cheek and Foster was tempted to reach across the table to wipe it away but he didn’t dare. She must have realized she was crying because she hastily rubbed it
off
. “I…I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything else. Just listen. Because the next part is a bit more complicated. So once I let you go, I was beside myself. I drank too much, ended up with random women, and through it all I couldn’t get over you. But eventually I knew I had to get myself together and I did my very best. There were no more attacks on any of my businesses so I thought that was the end of it. But then Macy went missing. Even though I vowed I wouldn’t, I had to get in touch with my old underground contacts. I was able to get an invitation to the auction where I saw you. I thought maybe, just maybe, you were there because fate was giving us a second chance. So I bid on you so someone else wouldn’t. It was my goal to keep you with me until I found Macy. In my head I figured once everything was over, I could tell you the truth and we could work it out. And then the attacks started happening again, but worse. Once again I feared that you were a target. At first I didn’t associate the attacks with the one I had two years ago because I thought the more recent ones had to do with me making inquiries about the trafficking.”

“But they were connected.”

“Yes. There’s so much that happened that I could be here all day telling it to you but the gist of it is, I had to do some things, really bad things to get the information I wanted out of people.”