The Alpha and the Omega: An absurd philosophical tale about God, the end of the world, and what's on the other planets (28 page)

“Well dude,” said Zack, “Limbo’s definitely real. If you go there, you’re gonna see death up close and personal.
You’re gonna have to fight, you might have to kill, and you’re probably going to get killed. With all the volunteers going down, there’s an actual war brewing there.”

“That’s ok, I want that.”

“Yeah?”

“I want to serve; I want to sacrifice. I want to do something good.”

“Well, as long as you’re prepared for it.”

“I think I am. I feel it in my bones… I think I’ve always been a fighter at heart. I realized that when I was out there on the field in that game. It reminded me of college hockey… it reminded me of how I almost enlisted in the Army, you know, before you and my parents talked me out of it.”

“Well, I’m not going to talk you out of it this time. I think you should go.”

“Yeah, thanks. But what about the people there? What was it like trying to win their hearts and minds?”

“Hmmm. Well, do you remember that Russian lit class we took together sophomore year?”

“Yeah, total gut course.”

“And do you remember the Cliffs Notes?”

“Of course.”

“The professor, old… what’s his name…”

“Frankenhauser, he was German.”

“Yeah, go figure. Anyway, he was lecturing about
Crime and Punishment
–”

“Which we hadn’t read!”

“And you looked at me –”

“And I said, ‘Hey Zack, does this sound familiar?’ ”

“And we each pulled out our copy of the Cliffs Notes.”

“Haha. He was reading directly from them! He even paused mid-sentence to stop and pretend that he was searching for his next words! But they were all right there in front of him! He read the entire thing verbatim!”

Lilly chuckled.

“And to top it off, we both got A+s!”

“Of course bro, us and Frankenhauser were on the same page… so to speak.”

“Haha. Ok, well you remember,” said Zack. “Good. He was pretending to teach, and we were pretending to learn. And even though the whole thing was a big sham, we still learned more about that book than if we had just stayed in the dorm playing videogames all day.”

“Ok…”

“Well, teaching the Limbeans is kind of like that.”

“Huh…” Stan paused while he digested this.

“Don’t overthink it,” Zack said, “you’ll see what I mean when you’re there.”

“Ok, I think I understand. Thanks. I guess I’ll let you get back to your plane or spaceship, or whatever. You kids be careful! Catch you on Limbo?”

“Definitely,” said Zack.

“Yep,” said Lilly.

“Cool, later guys.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

Do you feel a little bad Zack?

Yeah, a little.

But you want to go, right?

I do. I want to be with you.

Ok, good.

I mean, aren’t you more convinced now than ever that we belong together?

Huh?

You know, from that dream. What did you call it? A parallel Earth? You said we were married. Doesn’t that prove that we’re meant to be together?

Zack, I don’t know. At this point, I’m not sure what to believe about anything anymore. I think we just have to leave here. Then maybe we’ll find some answers.

No, come on, that dream has to mean something. I mean, it really happened… or was going to happen. Jeez… Zack plumbed the depths of his mind for the hidden words that would unlock her to him. It’s chemistry Lilly! We have chemistry together. It’s like, did you ever do online dating?

No.

Well I did.

Loser.

Hey! Everyone was doing it.

Haha. I’m just kidding, I know they were.

Anyway, the funny thing about it is that you could never really tell exactly how you were going to click with somebody just from reading their online profile or emailing with them. Sometimes you’d sit down for a coffee with someone that you would’ve thought was a great match, but then it’d turn out that you could barely keep up a conversation.

Ok.

And other times, you’d meet someone that you thought was probably too different, but somehow it turned out that you were perfect for each other.

Well, it couldn’t have been too perfect, or else you’d be telling this to them right now!

Yes, but what I’m saying is that the difference is human chemistry. People are infinitely more complex than just their job, age, appearance, and a set of likes and dislikes, and you never know exactly how two people are going to get along until you throw them together and see. And with us, well it just works. We have that chemistry Lilly, can’t you feel it? I know you felt it that day back at the waterfall, remember?

Lilly could see that Zack was trying very hard. Yes Zack, we do have some chemistry. You’re right.

“I’ll take it!” he said aloud.

They laughed.

“And what about Lucky and Debbie?” Lilly asked. “Do they have chemistry too?”

“I think so.”

“Yeah, they’re both so perfect. It’s like the high school quarterback and the cheerleading captain, except that Lucky and Debbie are both such good people that it’s impossible to hate them.”

“Why would you want to hate them?”

“I don’t know, cause they’re so perfect?”

“Well, I know you have a history with Debbie, but don’t take that out on Lucky.”

“No no, Debbie and I put it behind us. I’m happy for them, I am. I was just saying…”

Zack and Lilly continued working into the afternoon. Then, when they were almost finished, there was another knock at the door.

“Hey guys,” said God, in an unusually casual voice.

“Hey,” they both said at once.

“So… whatch’ya doin’?”

“Oh, just taking a little break,” said Lilly.

“Yeah, I think we both just need some time to decompress,” said Zack.

“Sure, sure. But you know you could’ve built the ship quicker, don’t you? You didn’t have to start from scratch like this.”

“We know,” said Lilly, “but we wanted to have the fun of building it ourselves.”

“Oh, cool. Very cool,” God said. “At the same time though, don’t you want to get back to Limbo? Aren’t you wondering about Tarta, Klatan… Santar?”

“Of course,” said Zack, “but we’ve been through a lot recently.”

“Right, right. I can see that. It’s just that, well, I’m sorry to pry, but I’m not used to seeing you like this – so preoccupied, so engrossed in your own little world. Aren’t you at least going to ask me some questions? Maybe about some contradictions with Heaven or Limbo that you noticed recently? I always enjoy working through your little paradoxes so much.”

“Um, yes,” said Lilly. “There was something I’ve been meaning to ask you about. It was… um… abortion! I wanted to know about abortion.”

Really Lilly? Abortion?
Really?

Shut up. “Religious people were totally wrong about abortion, weren’t they? I mean, a fetus isn’t a person, right?”

“Oh I’m so glad you asked!” said God. “I was
wondering
when you were going to bring that up. See, as with most things, the answer is not black or white, but something in
between. In the time before I brought my kingdom to Earth, humans fought so much about issues like abortion because they refused to accept the inherent complexity involved. They wanted a simple answer: yes, it’s a person, or no, it’s not a person. But the answer lies in the middle.”

“How so?” Zack asked.

“Well, you have to ask yourself, what does it take to make a person? An embryo? A fertilized egg? An egg and a sperm, separate, but close enough to be dangerous? No, it takes more. And yet, at the same time, would anyone argue that an eight and a half month old fetus, wiggling and kicking, learning its mother’s voice… is not a person?”

“Yeah,” said Zack, “but with the fertilized egg thing, couldn’t the soul jump into the body right then, at the moment of conception? And then it would be a person from the very beginning? I mean, if you’re telling us now that that’s not true, cause there is no soul, like Father Kai was saying, ok, but pro-lifers didn’t know that back then.”

“I suppose, but one could just as easily have posited that the soul jumped into the body at birth, with baby’s first breath, and who could say which theory was correct?”

“But the soul entering at conception made at least some sense,” said Zack.

“Why venture into such conjectural waters at all? I gave humans bodies that they could see and feel right there – why look for the answers somewhere else?”

“Because bodies break down. Belief in the soul fulfilled a basic human need.”

“Haha. Humans. Always wanting more! I suppose that’s my fault, huh? But regardless my children, the body is the soul. And in that sense, a fertilized egg is a soul, but so is an
unfertilized egg, and so is this room, this ship, and everything that you see around you – for they are all composed of the great energy that is the universe. But, when we say
person
, we are talking about something different. We are talking about the ability to have conscious thought. We are talking about brain waves; we are talking about the ability to feel pleasure and pain. And
that
, my children, occurs in the middle of the pregnancy. The embryo does not start out a person, but in time, it transforms. It evolves. And so, if I were writing the laws back in the days when human law mattered, I would have allowed abortion from conception until one or two months before the exact middle of the pregnancy, but would have banned it afterwards.”

Zack and Lilly stared blankly.

“I say a month or two before just to be safe.”

They continued staring.

“With some important exceptions of course.” He smiled. “But that’s just my opinion. I suppose it is a very tricky issue.” He winked at Lilly.

“Hmmm,” she said, finally reacting, “I guess that makes sense.”

Lilly! Come on. It’s the woman’s decision. Tell him.

“Really?” asked God, “that’s it? I basically just told you that in a lot of cases, abortion was wrong. Don’t you have a problem with that?”

“No,” Lilly said, “your explanation was very reasonable. I’m not completely stubborn.”

Lilly, he
knows
you don’t agree.

“Still, I am surprised,” said God. “Lilly, I don’t know how else to say this, so I’m just going to come right out with it. You are not yourself today!”

“I’m sorry. It’s just that what happened on Limbo really got to me. It broke my heart when they destroyed the Church and killed Klatu and the others, and it broke my heart again when I had to leave before going to the Arena myself. I’ll eventually be ready to go back down, but right now I think I just need some time. Do you understand?”

Good save.

“Yes…” God looked a little fazed, but quickly regained his composure. “Of course my child, I am sorry to pester you. I will let you be now. When you are ready, Limbo will be waiting, and Lucky, Debbie, and Father Kai will all be very pleased to see you again. Oh, and Stan too! I almost forgot about our newest conscript. I think he will be a very valuable addition, and once again I am in debt to both of you for bringing another crusader to our cause. If not for your efforts, it might still be just Father Kai down there.”

“Yeah,” said Lilly bitterly, “and maybe Klatu and the other villagers would all still be alive.”

“Look God, she’s back!” Zack said.

“Come on Zack,” she said, “it’s not a joking matter.”

“Lilly,” God said, “do not blame yourself for what happened. You acted with a clean heart and a just mind, and not all ends can be foreseen. You may have made more progress on Limbo than you realize.”

“Maybe,” she said.

“Good, I’m glad you can see that. And now I will leave you to your well-earned break. Take care my children.”

“Take care,” they replied together, as God disappeared.

Lilly, I feel bad.

I know. I do too, but we have to go. God lied to us. He kept things from us, important things. Things we should know. I mean, what else isn’t he telling us?

Yes, you’re right. But hey, I was thinking, before we go, do you want to take just one more day here? I want to see my parents one last time. Then, maybe tomorrow night…

Good idea.

Zack dreamt again that night. This time, he was alone in the completed ship, seated in the dark, at a simple steel table. At the center was a book, the same book that Zack had seen in Lilly’s mind on the hilltop – red, with black trim and silver leaves on the cover. An ominous and foreboding voice called to Zack.

“Do you wish to read from the book?”

Zack sat in silence, afraid to move even a muscle.

Again the voice called. “Do you wish to read from the book?”

Zack knew that he did. “Yes. I want to.”

“Very well.” The cover opened, slowly revealing what could only be described as a glassless window, for the picture behind it was far too real to be a mere reproduction. Framed in the center was an ordinary schoolyard playground.

“I told you that you were there Zack. I told you that you were there that day…”

Zack! Lilly screamed, in silence.

Lilly!

There was a book!

I know, I saw it too. It showed me a playground. What did you see?

I saw an ancient place – a garden. Then there were pillars, huge white pillars; it was a temple.

What else?

That’s it. Then I woke up.

The next morning, Zack and Lilly split up to visit their respective families. Zack was eager, as he had not seen his parents in weeks, but the smoke at their door quickly tempered his mood.

“A little wake n’ bake?” Zack asked. “You never taught me that one when I was a kid.”

“Hey sunnie boy!” his father said. “Don’t be like that! Come join us. There’s nothing like a good old-fashioned joint! Heaven has every kind of drug imaginable, but nothing beats doing it the way we did it when we were kids!”

Zack’s mom laughed. Her eyes were red. There were empty bags of potato chips everywhere.

“No thanks,” Zack said, sitting down between them on the couch, just like when he was a kid. “What’re you watching?”

“History. Did you know how much of it there was on this planet that modern humans never knew about? From years 15,000 B.C. to 4,000 B.C. there were thousands of primitive cultures and civilizations that were lost forever, until now. Can you imagine? 11,000 years of history! It’s absolutely fascinating: kings, queens, empires, wars, religions, stories, songs, art…”