That Summer (Part Two) (5 page)

The
bed is in the centre of the room like it was in Cole’s and there’s a large TV
directly opposite. I can see there is an en-suite bathroom in the corner as
well as a table and two chairs by the floor-to-ceiling windows. There’s also a
balcony which looks out across the impressive scenery.

“I
know we’re not abroad or anything but it feels like we are. I could be anywhere
in the world right now.” I murmur, captivated by such splendour before me.

“And
if you could choose to go anywhere, where would you go?” He enquires gently,
stroking my hair back from my face.

“Wherever
you are, that’s where I want to be.”

“Do
you really mean that?” He asks me, sounding doubtful.

“Of
course I do.”

“After
what I did? Y-you still want me?”

He
sounds incredulous, as though he can’t quite believe that it’s possible.

“Cole,
you didn’t actually
do
anything.”

I
know he’s referring to the incident which just happened in the elevator,
remembering his frustration and how close to the edge he seemed, I try my best
to make out that it doesn’t matter.

“I
came close, Green. I came really close.”

“Close
to what?”

“To
being forceful with you, rough and demanding. I don’t want to be that guy and I
despise the fact that I actually considered…” He trails off, leaving his
sentence unfinished.

I’m
left to fill in the blanks and come to my own hideous conclusions.

“I
trust you with my life and know that you wouldn’t force me to do anything. I
have no doubt about that.”

“You
trust me? You really trust me?”

He
caresses my cheek with his hand, gazing down at me with so much intensity.

“I
do.”

Later
on that night, we’re curled up on the bed together. There’s a movie playing in
the background but neither one of us is really watching it. I’m lost in my own
thoughts and so is Cole. Neither one of us has spoken since the movie started
but I’ve now reached a point where I am ready to break the silence. After much
contemplation, I’ve somehow managed to work up enough courage and make a
suggestion. It’s crazy and it’s dangerous but I don’t know what else we can do.

“Cole,
I need to say something.” I tell him, turning on my side to face him.

He
reaches for the remote and switches off the TV, providing me with his undivided
attention.

“Say
it, baby. What’s wrong?”

“I’ve
been thinking about what happened today, what you said
nearly
happened
and-”

“You’ve
changed your mind, haven’t you? You’re scared of me now and don’t trust me at
all.”

“Please
let me finish.” I beg him, touching his lips with my fingers. “What I want to
say is difficult but I can’t think of any other way.”

“Go
on.” He urges me, encouraging me to continue.

“What
if we were to… to do other things?”

“What
other things?” He says, sounding curious.

I
can feel my cheeks turning crimson. This is absolutely mortifying for me to
admit and the humiliation that it causes me cannot be explained.

“God,
this is so embarrassing.” I confess, covering my face with my hands. “It is
complete madness and I must be out of my mind to think of such a thing.”

“What
are you proposing?”

He
strokes my bottom lip with his thumb, lowering his eyes towards my mouth. I
moisten my lips, no longer willing to fight the indescribable attraction
between us or the sexual tension. It’s far too strong and my resolve is
slipping more and more each day.

“I
know that you and I can’t sleep together but that doesn’t mean we can’t be
together in other ways.” I say, pausing for a moment. “In the past we were
still intimate with one another but we never went the whole way… maybe we could
do that again?”

“Serena,
do you really think we’ll be able to control ourselves if we decide to do this?
You actually think I’ll have the strength to restrain myself? You know I want
you so badly, my whole body aches for you and that’s why I’m being so cautious.
I really don’t want to come close to doing what I almost did to you today.”

“I
understand.” I murmur softly. “It was just a suggestion.”

I
can’t help feeling humiliated and somewhat rejected but try to conceal it,
smiling weakly.

“A
suggestion I want to take you up on.” Cole states boldly, taking me by
surprise.

“Y-you
really think we can do this?” I ask him, sitting up in bed.

“As
much as I want you… I know we can’t take it any further, not now I know you
didn’t bring your pills with you.”

“I’m
sorry about that, I just didn’t think about them when we left.” I apologise.

“Serena,
you know I never want to force you into anything you’re not ready for. I didn’t
before we found out the truth and I still don’t.”

“How
about if we start slowly.” I whisper. “And take things one step at a time.”

“That
sounds good, baby.” He slowly moves towards me, taking hold of my face in his
hands. “You know I would never hurt you, I just want you so much. You’re the
only woman I want.”

His
lips touch mine and my body ignites. Sparks fly as our mouths make contact and I
moan loudly, opening my mouth for him so his tongue can slip inside. I’ve never
wanted anyone or anything so badly in my whole life and I’m certain he feels
the same way.

“God,
I’ve missed this… I’ve missed
you
.” He groans, pulling me towards him
until our bodies meet and are pressed closely together.

“I’ve
missed you too.” I confess, struggling to catch my breath.

“Have
you?” He growls, tightening the hold he has on me. “How badly have you missed
me? I want to know how much you’ve been longing for this.”

“So
much.” I whimper. “You have no idea.”

“So
tell me.” He demands, forcing me to look at him.

“I’ve
wanted you from the first moment I saw you and I’ve been aching for you since
we’ve been apart, every single moment.” I admit.

My
words encourage him and he grasps me more firmly, pushing me down onto the bed
as he towers above me.

“I’ve
never seen anyone quite so beautiful as you. You’re beyond perfect and if I
could change what we now know, I would.” He speaks with reverence, staring at
me intently.

“It’s
ok.” I urge him. “I want to.”

Cole
continues to support his weight above me, allowing his heated gaze to travel
down my body. His breathing is heavy and his lips are moist from our last kiss,
arousing me even more.

I’m
trembling beneath him, desperately imploring him with my eyes to touch me.

“Beg
me.” He whispers, speaking directly into my ear.

It’s
as though he’s read my mind, using his subconscious powers to permeate my
thoughts and say them out loud.

“Please…
please kiss me.”

He
complies at once and without hesitation, holding me still as our mouths
collide. The passionate exchange between us is almost violent, frantic and
aggressive as we both take what we have each been craving for so long.

I
arch my back, raising my chest until it meets with Cole’s and delight in the
guttural sound this elicits from him. He hastily removes his T-shirt, revealing
his taut stomach and impressive abs.

I’m
pretty sure I will never understand what on earth Cole sees in me, not when he
looks this magnificent and could have anyone he wants. It’s a question I’ve
often tortured myself over but soon came to the conclusion that somethings are
beyond our ability to comprehend.

“Every
ounce of goodness that I have exists in you.” He murmurs softly. “You’re all I
want and you’re all I need. Just us, baby. That’s how I need it to be.”

“It
will be.” I promise him, trailing my finger nails down his chest. “Just you and
me.”

He
takes hold of my wrists and pins them down on either side of my head, staring
intently at my green eyes.

“You.
Are. Mine.” He growls possessively, causing me to tremble. “And if you ever try
to run from me, I
will
find you.”

“Why
would I run?” “Why would I want to leave you?” I ask, struggling to understand
the dramatic change in his behaviour.

“Because
sooner or later you will be exposed to the true darkness which still exists
inside of me and I’m not sure you have the strength to fight it.”

“I
can handle it. It won’t scare me and I won’t be afraid of you.”

“Don’t
make promises you can’t keep.”

“And
you think you can keep
your
promise?” I challenge him. “Your promise to
find me if I run?”

“Yes.”
He replies without thought or contemplation. “You can run but you can’t hide,
Serena. I’ll only ever be a few steps behind you and I will always find you.
You belong to me and that’s a fact… don’t you ever forget it.”

Chapter Four

After
a restless and tumultuous night of sleep, I wake up in Cole’s arms. We spent
most of the night kissing, locked in an unbreakable embrace and the exertion
from trying to resist one another has taken its toll. I’m utterly exhausted and
I can see that Cole feels the exact same way.

“You
didn’t sleep in your own room.” I say, wiping the sleep out of my eyes.

“I
couldn’t. I didn’t want us to be apart and I couldn’t bring myself to leave you
once you fell asleep.” He answers, tucking a stray strand of my hair behind my
ear.

“I
wish you had kept your mouth shut in front of that receptionist and then we
wouldn’t have to worry about the financial implications of paying for two
rooms.” I complain, still annoyed with him for his actions the day before.

“Believe
me, I wish I hadn’t said anything to her either, I’m paying the price for it
now.” He sighs deeply, rolling over onto his back so he can gaze up at the
bedroom ceiling.

“It’s
just that it’s going to cost us so much, especially now you have to pay for the
extra room next door. How on earth can you afford this, Cole?”

“I
don’t want you to worry about that, ok? It’s my problem and I’ll deal with it.”

“It
is
my problem as well as yours. We’re in this together, remember?”

“We
are but I’m the one who’s responsible for certain types of things and this is
one of them.”

“Please
don’t do anything you shouldn’t.” I beg him. “I already know you stole the car
we got away in and I also know the money we’ve been spending so far isn’t
really yours.”

“It
is now and that’s all that matters.” He replies firmly, fixing those
magnificent brown eyes of his on my own.

We
spend most of our morning inside our hotel room until we both decide that we
want to go out and get some fresh air in the afternoon. Cole orders a taxi to
pick us up and take us into the city so we can have a look around and grab some
lunch seeing as we’re both really hungry.

“I
can’t wait to show you around London.” Cole says, taking hold of my hand as
soon as we exit the taxi he ordered to drop us off. “I’m sure you’ll really
like it there.”

“I’ve
never been but I’ve always wanted to go.” I reveal, unable to conceal my
excitement as the prospect of going.

“How
come you’ve never been?” He asks.

“My
mum used to promise me that we would go when I was younger but I knew it would
never happen. She pretty much lost all interested in me once my dad left us.”

My
voice goes quiet as I try and resist the memories which come flooding back to
me surrounding my childhood.

“Same
as mine.” Cole adds, guiding me through the busy crowds as we continue to walk.
“I remember how she used to leave me alone all night so she could go out with
some friends of hers or meet up with a new boyfriend of hers. I was only five
years old but I soon learnt how to cook my tea and put myself to bed.”

“Cole,
that’s awful.” I sympathise, picturing him as a little boy on his own and
frightened.

“It’s
no big deal, I soon got used to it.”

“But
you shouldn’t have had to get used to it and that’s the point.” I reply,
struggling to hide the resentment I now feel towards Cole’s mum for being so
selfish.

“I
started to behave badly at school, unable to cope with my toxic home life and
the way things were with my mum. I felt old before my time and started skipping
school before I even hit my teenage years.” He pauses for a moment and glances
at me out of the corner of his eyes. “The truth is, I’ve been suspended more
times than I can count and I’d tried every type of substance I could get my
hands on before I turned fifteen. I guess I just needed something to block it
all out and numb some of the pain I was feeling. I’d been tortured by it for so
long, I just wanted to forget.”

I
can tell he’s concerned about how I will react to this but as much as I want to
reassure him, I can’t just pretend I didn’t hear all of the bad things he just
told me.

“How
about we stop here?” I offer, coming to a standstill outside a rustic little
coffee shop to my right. “We can stop for a drink and talk properly.”

“Sounds
good.”

Cole
smiles at me in gratitude before we make our way inside, choosing a small table
right next to the front window.

“So…
you want to continue?” I ask him gently, taking a sip of my coffee as I watch
him closely.

“I
guess so. You’re going to have to find out about this sooner or later?” He
sighs gloomily, raking his fingers through his hair.

“Find
out about what?”

“I
was involved in a few burglaries a couple of years back, as well as stealing a
few cars and one or two fights when I’ve been drunk or high on something. I was
arrested right before I moved here with my mum but the reason behind it is
something I don’t think you’ll want to hear.”

“Just
tell me.” I urge him.

“My
mum got involved with someone that was bad for her and I mean
really
bad.
I knew he was bad news from the first moment she introduced us but she wouldn’t
listen to me, no matter how many times I told her to stay away from him. In the
end I made her promise that she wouldn’t let him through the front door if I
wasn’t home, at least then I knew she would have to meet him in public instead
of being on her own with him.”

He
goes silent, consumed by his own thoughts and memories as I wait for him to
divulge the rest to me.

“So…
what happened?” I prompt him eventually, growing more afraid as the seconds
tick by.

“She
didn’t listen to me.” He says, speaking slowly. “She never listened to me but
that was the one time I really wish she had. I ended up bunking off from school
one afternoon and came home to see his car on the driveway. I raced inside
because I’d had this awful feeling all day that something was wrong and spotting
his car at my house when I wasn’t there confirmed it. I found them upstairs
together. He was in her room and she was practically unconscious due to the
amount of drugs he had already given her. He was on top of her and he was trying
to… God, I can’t even say it.” He groans, covering his face with his hands in
an attempt to block out the recollections of such memories.

“You
don’t have to.” I whisper. “I know what you’re implying.”

He
continues anyway, as though he has to say it so he can come to terms with it
himself.

“He
was about to rape her and he would have gone through with it if I hadn’t turned
up in time to stop him.” He concludes, clenching his fists in fury as he
remembers.

“What
did you do to him, Cole?”

He
moistens his lips before meeting my unwavering gaze head on.

“I
almost killed him.” He mutters softly, trying to keep our conversation as
private as possible. “I
wanted
to kill him and I honestly don’t know how
I didn’t.”

“Cole,
you’re not a bad person and that’s why you’re not capable of doing something
like that. That’s why you didn’t hurt him.”

“That’s
just it, Serena. I
am
capable because that’s exactly what I did.”

“What
do you mean?”

“I…
I just lost control. I don’t know what I was thinking but I grabbed him,
hurling him out of the bedroom and away from my mum who I needed to protect. Serena,
I hurt him real bad, beating him until he was unconscious and then I threw him
down the stairs.”

“You
did
what
?”

I
sound incredulous, powerless when it comes to hiding my disbelief.

“He
was hurting her, Serena. What was I supposed to do?”

“You
should have called the police.”

“The
police arrived but it wasn’t me who called them, a neighbour must have done it
when they heard all the noise or something. An ambulance soon followed, taking
him away and a police car picked me up.”

“And
when did they let you go?”

“It
wasn’t too long after my arrest. I was underage and they could see what that
bastard had been trying to do from the state my mum was in. In the end they
decided to put me on probation for two years, under the strict instructions
that I behave myself and not get into any more trouble. I agreed and that’s
when they let me go. We moved here shortly afterwards and the rest is history.”

“You’ve
hardly had a clean record since I met you.” I retort bitterly, mentally
recounting each of the violent encounters that Cole has been involved with
since I met him.

“I
know and that’s why I knew I had to get the hell away before they caught me.
They’re going to throw the damn book at me, I just know it. They can send me to
prison now I’ve turned eighteen and I’m pretty sure that’s what they’re going
to do if they catch up with me.”

I
can feel the tension building up inside of me, causing my entire body to hurt.
My mind is racing and I can no longer stop the intrusive thoughts and
worst-case scenarios from multiplying. I’m overwhelmed by my fear and feel like
I can’t even move.

“I’m
scared.” I confess, wringing my hands together underneath the table.

“Of
me?” Cole asks, sounding horrified.

“Yes.
No. I-I don’t know!” I cry, extremely close to tears.

“Serena,
I need you to look at me.” He speaks firmly, waiting for me to comply “You know
I would never, ever hurt you.”

“It
might not be intentional but what if you were to lose control? You’ve told me
yourself that you’ve came close to taking things too far before now.”

“Sweetheart,
that’s different.”

“How
is it?”

“It
just is.” He finishes, attempting to bring an end to the conversation. “You’re
the only person in this world who matters to me, Serena. I don’t give a damn
about anyone else and I’ll stop at nothing to keep us together.”

“I
don’t know what I would do without you, Cole. I don’t even think I could
survive if anything happened to you.” I admit, incapable when it comes to
comprehending a life without him being in it.

“Listen
to me. I won’t let
anyone
keep us apart. Ever.”

He
reaches for my hand across the table, holding it in a vice-like grip.

“You
can’t make promises like that.” I murmur.

“Can’t
I? Just watch me.”

He
says it like he’s already accepted my challenge, determined and decisive about
what he needs to do. He has this gleam in his eyes which is enough to convince
me that he means wat he says. He will stop at nothing to keep us from being
apart, absolutely nothing.

After
our tumultuous and exhausting conversation inside the coffee shop, we decided
to spend the rest of the afternoon wandering around the unexplored city. We
went inside so many different shops and then stopped to eat lunch at a small
bistro we found down one of the side streets.

The
food was amazing and I savoured every single mouthful. I soon realised that I
had barely eaten anything since Friday due to the amount of stress and anxiety
I’ve been dealing with since we ran away. Plus, the first motel we stayed at
didn’t even serve food and we had been forced to rely on eating out for the two
days that we spent there.

After
we had our lunch and walked around the town for a couple more hours, we decided
to head back to the hotel and phoned for a taxi to come and pick us up. During
the journey back we discussed the possibility of dining at a restaurant instead
of the hotel later on that night and that was the most significant part of our
conversation.

Since
Cole confided in me about his past, I’ve been somewhat uncomfortable in his
presence. I almost feel suffocated by him but can’t really understand why. I
suppose it could come down to the fact that he has sworn on several occasions
that he will never let me go. To hear such a thing is almost frightening and
not because I don’t long to be with Cole but because I believe him when he
makes me that promise. A huge part of me knows that he will stick to his word
and although this means that we will never be apart, it also means that my life
as I have come to know it is now over.

Once
back at the hotel, I told Cole that I wanted the room to myself so I could
shower and change. The truth is I also wanted some space so I could be alone
with my thoughts. I knew I had to try and process everything I had been told
this afternoon and was pretty certain I wouldn’t be able to do that with Cole
around. 

He
was reluctant when it came to leaving me alone but acquiesced when I became
more and more persistent. I was desperate to spend some time alone so I could
try and figure a way out of our complex situation, a
legal
way out that
is and urged him to do the same thing.

It’s
been three hours since I last saw Cole and during that time I’ve managed to
take a small nap and enjoy a relaxing soak in the bath. I was told to be ready
for half past eight and I can only assume that he will be back for us to go out
for the meal we discussed earlier.