Tell Me a Secret (26 page)

“You can depend on me.”

“Great. I’ll be out by tomorrow afternoon and you can move in. Here’s a key. Jace’s parents are right next door. His mom will bring meals over. A cleaning service comes on Thursday each week. There’s also freight to be unpacked. Just some equipment I ordered to help with his adjustment. If you have any questions, call me, but don’t let him know.”

As she watched Kyle drive away, Jared came across the lawn. God, he looked so much like Jace. Suddenly a sense of loss stabbed all the way to her soul. What if her plan didn’t work? Something dropped onto her chest. Tears. How did that happen? By now, that well should be dry.

She opened the door and Jared pulled her into a hug. “Please don’t cry. My brother is an idiot.”

She melted against him. Maybe it was because of Jace’s rejection. Or there was a real possibility once she left, she might never get to come home again. Perhaps she just needed to be held and comforted. Whatever the reason, his arms felt good. It had been weeks since she’d had a decent conversation with her husband and, other than the good-bye kiss, no physical contact.

Jared pushed her away and wiped tears from her eyes with his thumbs. “It’s going to be okay. C’mon, give me that beautiful smile.”

She looked up. “What if he never wants me back?”

“He will. It’s not just you. Things are strained between Jace and me again. He’s lashing out at everyone right now. Dry these tears. I can’t stand to see you so unhappy.”

Jared held her face in his hands and kissed her forehead. Then her cheeks, first one and then the other. His lips were soft, his breath hot against her skin. Her pulse hammered and heat raced up her spine.

Then he took her mouth. And she let him.

When she realized she had his shirt fisted in both hands, not to push him away, but to bring him closer, she came to her senses. Jerking back, her hand flew to her lips.

Jared’s mouth hung open and his eyes widened. “Oh, God, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t know what…”

“No, it’s okay. It isn’t your fault. It’s mine.” Staggering to a nearby chair, she collapsed into it and cried harder.

He knelt beside her. “No, it was my fault. You just looked so sad. I’m a jerk. Don’t let this change things between us.”

She dried her eyes. “You must think I’m awful. Jace is in the hospital and I’m making out with you. I’m ashamed of myself.”

The corners of his mouth turned up. “So we kissed. No big deal. It sort of makes perfect sense. After all, you’ve already been in my bed naked.”

An hour later Maggie was still thinking about the kiss with Jared. What was wrong with her? Why did she let him do that? If she wanted to admit it or not, she liked it, but she also felt terrible guilt. Not just because the kiss happened, but because she knew that Jared once had feelings for her and it was wrong to encourage him. But he’d ended the moment perfectly by making a silly reference to the time she’d gotten into bed with him by mistake.

She ran her hand across her lips and a pang of remorse settled in the pit of her stomach. She needed to forget about the indiscretion and concentrate on getting her husband to let her come home. She had her work cut out, but one way or another he’d ask her back. He had too.

Be fruitful and multiply.

~Genesis 1:28

Beautiful, absolutely beautiful, Maggie thought as she watched the sun drop behind the horizon from her twelfth floor balcony. Since city building codes didn’t allow anything taller, she considered West Texas sunsets a gift.

If she had to suffer, may as well do it in style. She appreciated the spacious rooms of the posh suite, unbelievable view, and the two balconies covered by canvas canopies stretched over intricate wrought iron. However, the ambient glow provided by miniature lights outlining the scroll work was wasted on her.

The wind changed and delivered a chill, so she went inside. Tomorrow, she’d shop and have lunch with Marc. It’d been ages since she’d been dancing. Maybe her old partner would suggest a night out. She turned her attention to the desk where the stack of pink letters waited to be mailed. Her eyes drifted to the two bags of personal items. She didn’t know why she’d brought them. Perhaps to furnish an excuse to see him, or make a necessary phone call to return them.

Opening the bag from the hospital, she dumped the contents.
Wallet. Keys. Nail clippers. Change. Watch. Wedding ring. Cell phone.
She tried to turn it on. No power. She put the ring on her finger, spun it, and wondered if he’d missed it. She picked up the brown sack from the towing company and ripped it open.
Tire gauge. Sunglasses. Insurance card. Road map.
Her heart froze.
Condoms
.

Bile rose in her throat. She ran into the bathroom and vomited. Head spinning, she threw up a second time hugging the commode until the nausea passed. She rinsed her mouth, brushed her teeth and bathed her face with a cool rag. Her head throbbed and another wave of sickness threatened. Fanning her face with both hands, it passed. Back in the bedroom, she sorted through the items again searching for a receipt, not that it would prove anything.
Okay, the box hasn’t been opened
. If he’d just bought them and the package was still secure, then…

She shook her head. It might not be his first purchase and there was just one reason he’d have condoms. Her throat constricted. She grabbed the first thing she could reach, a book, and hurled it across the room. Then the box of tissues. The alarm clock. The lamp. Once the nightstand was cleared, she turned to the bed and emptied it of throw pillows.
How could he? Was that why he was in that part of town? To meet someone? To cheat?
She collapsed onto the bed, curled into a ball, and hugged her stomach tight and sobbed uncontrollably.

She hardly slept and wanted to blame it on the exploding storm, roaring thunder and howling wind, but it was none of those. It couldn’t have been the two chili-cheese dogs she’d eaten, because she’d puked them up. No, it was the damn condoms.

Questions flooded her brain and her heart hammered.
Calm down. Take a breath. An unopened package is not an indictment.
Then she asked the most important question of all. What difference does it make? There were only two answers. If he had been unfaithful, either she divorced him and never saw him again or forgave him and continued to fight to get her life back. Decision made, she took the brown bag, replaced everything, shoved it to the back of her closet and her mind.

The following day, sunlight peeked through drifting clouds and Maggie inhaled fresh air washed with rain. Pleased with her purchases, but depressed concerning the larger sizes, she loaded the shopping bags into the car.

“Maggie?”

She recognized the voice. “Sarah. I’m so glad to see you.”

“Me too. I’ve been meaning to call. Do you have time for coffee?”

Glancing at her watch, still an hour before her lunch date. “Sure”

Once seated in the small café, Sarah jumped right in. “I’m pregnant.”

Maggie reached across the table and patted her friend’s hand. “That’s wonderful.”

Sarah looked relieved. “Thank God. I’ve been worried about telling you.”

“Why? You should know I’d be happy for you.”

“You and Jace tried for so long and then the accident happened. I wasn’t sure how you’d take it.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m thrilled. Is Sam excited?”

“Yes, and of course, he hopes for a boy.”

“Well, from my experience, if it’s a girl, a boy will never enter his mind. When are you due?”

“The first of March.”

“Has Sam been to see Jace?”

“He’s tried, but Jace won’t see him.”

“Tell him not to give up.”

“How are you, Maggie? I mean, how are you really?”

Well, let’s see. My husband may have been cheating on me. I kissed Jared and liked it. I’m separated and Jace is in a wheelchair.
“I’m fine.” She checked the time again. “Oh, I’ve got to go. I’m meeting Marc. Do you want to join us?”

“Can’t. I have an appointment, but tell him I said hello.”

Fifteen minutes later, thankful to be away from Sarah and her good news, Maggie sat across from her former dance partner in a corner booth, at
Breasts and Thighs
and perused her choices. She should be ashamed of herself. It wasn’t Sarah’s fault Maggie’s life was falling apart.

“What are you going to have?” he asked.

She shook the thought away and glanced over the top of her menu. “I’ve been dreaming of this chicken and I haven’t kept anything down since yesterday, so I’m starved. I want the livers, corn nuggets, fried pickles, rolls, blackberry cobbler and iced tea.”

He cocked his head and rolled his eyes. “My God, you must be famished.”

“What looks good to you?”

“I can’t decide.”

“You should try the livers. They’re wonderful. They marinate them in French dressing.”

“Beba, I don’t eat organs.”

She laughed and shimmied out of her jacket. “Suit yourself. They have chicken and dumplings, also good. As a matter of fact, I may get some to go.”

The waitress came, took their orders and Marc stared at Maggie. “Damn! What are those?”

She followed his eyes to her chest. “Yeah, nice huh?”

“Sugar, I’m not sure what keeps you from tipping over. How the hell did your boobs get so big?”

“They’re not
that
big.”

“Uh—yeah, they are.”

“Fertility drugs. Since I’ve quit taking them, I guess they’ll go away. I’ll miss them. Oh, which reminds me, Sarah says hello. I ran into her earlier today. She’s pregnant.”

He reached across the table to hold Maggie’s hand. “Are you okay with that?”

“You mean now that Jace can’t have children?”

“I meant because you guys tried without success and now you’re not together. I thought men like him could still have sex.”

“They can. But they can’t ejaculate, and even if he could, his sperm wouldn’t be strong enough to penetrate an egg.”

“If you reconcile, what about in vitro?”

“Won’t work for the same reason. Plus it messes with a man’s mind when he can’t make a baby. Even before his paralysis he had issues. That’s one of the reasons he asked me to leave.”

“What do you mean one of the reasons? I thought it was the only reason.”

Maggie placed her fingers to the bridge of her nose to stop the tears and bowed her head.

“Oh, Beba, what’s wrong?

She looked up at him and bit her lip. “Jace may have been cheating. I should have never pressured him into trying to have a baby.” Tears flowed. She put her napkin to her eyes and wiped. “I’m sorry. I’m just so damn emotional. God, I hate myself.”

“Don’t say that. None of this is your fault. Why do you think he was seeing someone?”

“I found condoms. He was in a strange part of town when the accident happened. Lately, he stayed mad at me all the time. What am I going to do?”

The waitress delivered the food and as soon as she left, Marc said. “First, you’re going to stop crying. Then you’re going to eat those damn chicken livers. Later tonight, we’ll go dancing and forget all about that jerk of husband of yours.”

She sniffed and smiled, then wiped her eyes again and pulled herself together. “He really can be a jerk sometimes. But, sadly, I love him.”

“I know you do. So what can I do to help? You want me to go kick his ass? Because I think I could take him now that he’s in a wheelchair.”

She laughed out loud. “God, I love you. Why did you have to be born gay? We would have been so great together.”

Now he laughed. “Yeah, we would have, but appreciating those enormous boobs of yours will have to be enough. Will you show them to me?”

“Oh my God! You’re awful!

He laughed harder.

“Thank you for making me feel better.”

“You’re welcome. Now dig in and eat those chicken organs.”

Maggie giggled and felt better in spite of all she was dealing with and moved on to the purpose of her date. “I had more than one reason for inviting you to lunch. Of course, I wanted to see you, but I also have a favor to ask and it’s not roughing up my husband.”

“Anything for you, Beba.”

She loved it when he called her pet names.

“I have money, Marc. Quite a bit. I plan to make a donation to the hospital for a rehabilitation center and I want you to broker the deal. Jace’s dad and brother can draw up the plans, but I don’t want them or anyone else to know where the funds are from. I intend to name the facility after Jace.”

Marc laced his fingers together. “So, even if he was cheating, you’re still going to try and reconcile?”

“Yes. I love him. I thought about it most of the night and realized living without him will be harder than forgiving him.”

“Okay, then. You know a project like that will cost a shit-load of cash. Do you have that much?”

“Yes, thanks to my uncle’s knack for investing. In the last three years, my trust more than doubled. I could get him to do it, but he’s in Amarillo and I want to keep it local.”

“I’ll make the arrangements. Now, you said you had more than one reason to see me, and I know why. So before you even ask, the answer is yes.”

She wrinkled her brows. “What do you mean?”