Tell Me a Secret (25 page)

Outside, clear skies promised another hot August day. On a deep breath, she sent up a prayer. With no clouds in sight, she figured the request had a direct line to the Almighty. At least she hoped so because today she needed it answered.

Once at the hospital, she gathered her resolve. Still an hour before her shift, she made her way to his room determined to make him discuss their future. Inside, he sat in a wheelchair, gazing out the window.

“I want to talk to you, Jace.”

He spun to face her. Pallid and gaunt, he appeared much older than twenty-six. Sucking in a breath, she focused on his beautiful face now riddled with anguish. She kept tears at bay, but inside her chest, her heart began weep. Where to start? What to say? She halved the distance between them.

“Didn’t you notice the No Visitors sign is still on the door?”

“I did, but I’m not a visitor. I’m your wife. Please, talk to me. Scream, swear, do whatever you need to do, but don’t shut me out.”

“What do you want to talk about? How
lucky
I am?”

“You are lucky. I thought you were going to die. So in my book, being paralyzed beats being dead.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one in this chair.”

“You’re right. But as bad as this is, we can make it work. Things will be different, but we can still have a life together. A happy life.”

She was unprepared for his reaction when he started to cry. “Look at me. Take a good look. I’m going to be this way the rest of my life. I could live to be eighty. That’s over fifty fucking years. I’ll never walk, run, or be able to stand. I’ll never be poetry in motion again.”

She moved another step toward him. “Poetry in motion? What does that have to do with anything?”

“That’s how you described me in your journal when I played football.”

“What? You read my journal?”

“No. I mean, yes. It was a long time ago. Just one page. I know you loved my body. You loved the movement of it, and that’s gone.”

“That doesn’t matter. Besides, that’s ancient history. The silly writing of a girl in love for the first time. It has nothing to do with us now.”

“I can’t give you children. That dream is gone. And don’t say that doesn’t matter, because it does.” He stopped talking and struggled to breath.

Her lungs tightened, squeezing out all the air. Feeling light headed, she settled onto the end of the bed. This wasn’t going according to plan.

Voice quivering, he turned away and spoke over his shoulder. “I’ll be discharged in another week, that should give you time to get moved. I guess it’s lucky we bought Mrs. Hogan’s house after all since it’s wheelchair ready. The house belongs to you, but my lawyer says I’ll get a big settlement out of the wreck. When I do, I’ll pay you back.”

The impact of his words attacked with an unbearable force. She bit her bottom lip to stop it from trembling. “What are you saying? You want me to leave?”

“Yes.”

“No, I won’t go. I won’t. You’re upset. You don’t mean this.”

He wheeled around to face her, his emotions under control again, determination in his eyes. “Yes. I do. I’ve had plenty of time to think. You’re just a constant reminder of what I’ll never have again. Be thankful, we
don’t
have children, because then you’d be tied to me forever.”

She winced at the cruel statement. She’d expected resistance, prepared for anger, anticipated an argument, but she’d never once considered he’d ask her to leave him. “You’re saying if we had kids you wouldn’t ask me to go?”

He rubbed his eyes and lowered his head. “Yeah, because they’d need you now more than ever.”

Silent for a moment, she gathered her thoughts. The power of his statement sunk in. “Well, I’ve come full circle, haven’t I? To bleed money from my father, Mother kept me because I was necessary. You’re getting rid of me because I’m not.”

He lowered his head, tears streamed down his cheeks again. “I’m letting you go because I love you. You can’t see it now, but someday you’ll thank me and realize this was the best thing I could do for you.”

Every joint in her body stiffened. Sadness morphed into anger. “Since when do you get to decide what’s best for me? You’re the only man I’ve ever loved. The only one I’ve ever wanted and your situation hasn’t changed that.”

“My situation? It’s my future. It’s my goddamned life. But it doesn’t have to be yours. I won’t let it. Just be out of the house when I get home.”

“And if I’m not?”

“I’ll move in with Mom and Dad. One way or the other, I refuse to be a burden.”

She tried to kiss him, but he backed away. “Please, I’m begging you. Don’t do this.”

“No. I won’t allow you to spend the rest of your days taking care of me. You’re young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Mine’s over.”

She straightened her shoulders and added steel to her voice. “You stupid, stupid, man. Maybe I will leave and let you see how your life will be without me. Then you’ll realize what a terrible mistake you’ve made.”

“It isn’t a mistake. It’s all I’ve thought about since this happened. This isn’t a rushed decision.”

She knelt next to him and before he could turn away, her mouth was on his. He didn’t resist. Instead, he hung on to the kiss and when their lips parted, she smiled. She got up and walked to the door, then looked back at him one last time. “That kiss told me everything I need to know. I’ll leave. But when you come to your senses and want me back. I’ll be waiting.”

 
~~*~~
 

A few minutes later, Jared rushed into the room. “What the hell, Jace? I saw Maggie in the hallway and she said you ordered her to move out.”

“She’s better off without me.”

“I don’t think so and deep down inside, you don’t either. It isn’t too late.” He pushed his cell phone toward his brother. “Call her. Tell her you didn’t mean it. Tell her to turn around and come back.”

Jace couldn’t help but smile and thought of her silly superstition.
She doesn’t do turn around come back
. “I can’t. No matter how much it hurts, I know it’s best for her.”

“What’s this really about?”

“I told you, she’s better off.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit. You just couldn’t keep it in your pants could you?”

Jace straightened and squared his shoulders. “Shut up!”

“Don’t play dumb. Tell me, have you been cheating on her from the beginning?”

“You’re a fine one to talk.”

Jared shook his head. “My sex life is no concern. I’m a free agent. I can sleep with anybody I choose. I’m not married.”

“No, but she is.”

“Who do you mean?”

“I’m talking about my wife. You think I don’t see the way you look at her? I know you’d try to take her for yourself if she gave you one little hint of being interested.”

“You’re a damn moron. Stop putting this on me. You asked her to leave because you have a guilty conscience. You’re playing the poor pitiful martyr.
I’m crippled. I don’t want to be a burden, so I’m setting you free
. What a crock. You don’t want her here, because you can’t bear for her to find out what you’ve done.”

“You don’t know anything.”

“Yeah, I do. How long do you think it’ll take before she asks?”

“Asks what?”

“The collision, baby brother. Sixty-Third Street and Frankfort. What business did you have at an old girlfriend’s address in the middle of the day?”

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned.

Life goes on.

~Robert Frost

If anyone had told Maggie she’d spend a beautiful day composing a to-do list to leave her husband, she would have suggested they see the hospital psychiatrist.

Sitting in the sunroom, pen and paper in hand, she gazed out at the gazebo, where she and Jace pledged to love each other until death. She seemed to do a lot of that lately—think back on happier times. The big oak tree, its leaves ruffling in the breeze caught her attention. Aphrodite was buried beneath it. Tears welled because she’d never be able to break her connection to this place. Home.

Her eyes drifted to the new basketball court. She had Jared to thank. He’d taken her suggestion and gotten it done in record time. Football had always been Jace’s favorite game, but shooting hoops were possible from a wheelchair and she wanted him to remain active.

Two squirrels skittered up the tree in a frantic game of chase, twitching and chattering. Heisman appeared, pressed his front paws against the trunk and barked. She stepped to the door and called. The dog bounded inside. “What would you do if you captured one of those bushy tails, boy? Huh?” She sat again, and the dog nestled at her feet.

With a plan decided, stone cold determination replaced tears. First things first. Find somewhere to live. Next, see Uncle Charles, and finally, meet with Kyle Westbrook.

She checked the time, then grabbed her purse and headed out the door. In less than two hours, she’d be in Amarillo.

Uncle Charles’ office, on the eleventh floor of the only high rise in downtown, was as big as a banquet hall. The walls, paneled in opulent dark mahogany and varnished to a rich gloss, lent a bronzed light to the room. It smelled of leather, wood, and whiskey, his drink of choice. A wall of windows provided a view of the city’s skyline.

He came from behind his desk when she entered and gathered her in a warm embrace. “How’s my favorite niece? Everything okay?”

For the first time in weeks, it felt good to be wrapped in a man’s arms. Especially by a man who cared for her. “Yes.”

He reached for his phone. “Hold my calls, Margaret, and re-schedule my next appointment until after lunch. Phone the club and get a reservation for two, say?” He looked at Maggie. “One o’clock?”

She nodded.

“Make it for one o’clock. Thanks.” He hung up and shouldered back in his chair. “This is a pleasant surprise, but what brings you to Amarillo?”

“Jace.”

“I thought you said everything was okay. Is there a problem with the attorney I recommended to handle his lawsuit?”

“No. He’s fine. I’m sure he’ll get Jace a good settlement. It’s…Jace asked for a separation.”

Charles leaned forward, rested his hands on the desk and laced fingers together. “Damn, I can’t believe it.”

“That’s why I’m here. I want to set up direct deposits to our joint account and open a personal account for me.”

“Of course, whatever you need. Is there a chance Jace will change his mind?”

She smiled. “He will. But until then, I’m moving into the new hotel in Lubbock, The Herrington. I’m registered under Maggie Kincaid. If Jace or anyone else should inquire, I’ll appreciate you not telling them where I am.”

“Why not?”

“He needs to be cut off from me completely in order for my scheme to work.”

“I don’t understand, but I’ll trust your judgment. Let’s go to lunch and we’ll work out the amount for you to draw each month. Then, we’ll run by the house and you can visit with Millie for a little while.”

 
~~*~~
 

Thursday morning, Maggie got up early and after three attempts to find a pair of jeans that fit, she admitted a shopping trip was in order. Damn fertility drugs. The fifteen additional pounds they’d caused made it impossible to wear anything with a button or a zipper. On the bright side, now that she’d stopped the medication, the extra weight should begin to drop off, once her cycle straightened out. Taking a deep breath, she chose black yoga pants and a Tech hoodie. Thank God for elastic.

Heisman lay on the floor at the end of the bed and watched her toss the discarded clothes into a pile. “I know, boy. I’m fat. Fat, fat, fat. But you love me anyway, right?”

He lifted his head and thumped his tail against the carpet. She cupped his face and gave his muzzle a shake. “Yeah, right now, you’re the only one who does love me.” She laid her head over on him and whispered. “I miss him, boy. I miss him so much. I hate sleeping by myself. If you came with me, I wouldn’t be so lonesome. Besides, you loved me first, didn’t you?”

His tail picked up speed and then he rolled over as she ran her hand through his fur. “Okay, enough of my pity-party. I’ve got to finish getting ready. Kyle will be here soon.”

Dabbing on makeup, she drew her hair into a ponytail, slipped shoes on and walked to the hall closet. A few minutes later, she heard the rumble of a motorcycle.

Physical therapist, Kyle Westbrook looked out of place in the flat land of West Texas. A foot taller than she, he was bronze skinned and solid muscle. Sun-streaked hair, long enough to pull into a short ponytail, framed his rugged face.
He should be riding a wave somewhere
.

“Come in, Kyle. Thanks for coming to the house.”

“No problem.”

“Did you get everything squared away at the hospital?”

“Yep. I’ve taken a leave of absence.”

“It means the world to me you agreed to live here. C’mon, I’ll show you your room.” She motioned for him to follow. “This is it and in here is your bathroom. Jace is on the other end of the house.”

Kyle looked around. “To be honest, I’m not sure you leaving is the best thing for him.”

“I agree, but there isn’t much I can do to change that. That’s why I insisted the doctor tell Jace he needed twenty-four hour care for the first few months. I have a plan. You and I have known each other a long time and I know I can trust you. I’ll text every day to check on him and give you instructions.”