Tea and Scandal (15 page)

The guests, exchanging puzzled looks, did as the old lady ordered.
“
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
”
Fenwick said, assisting Jane from her chair.
“
And I shan
’
t even have the pleasure of sitting across the board from you.
”

“
Certainly not. I shall be below the salt. Are we allowed to talk across the table?
”

“
Bite your tongue, Miss Lonsdale! I doubt if we are even allowed to look at the opposite sex. There may be a set of blinkers at our plate. I wish I had brought a good book to bear me company. Mrs. Radcliffe, for choice.
”

“
Well, Miss Prism always told us that a lady does not complain. All experiences are broadening, so away we go.
”

He watched as she swept away, still smiling valiantly. The lady had countenance. Not a word of complaint. She actually found something useful in this farouche affair.

Other than the peculiar manner of seating, the dinner party was not radically different from any other dinner. Both the head and foot of the table were left vacant, so that those at the end of the board had only one partner. To put the host and hostess there would involve seating a gentleman beside a lady. Jane sat at the end, beside her Aunt Fay and across from Mr. Parker. Mrs. Swann was so busy gobbling her food that she did not object when the guests spoke across the table. Mr. Parker seldom went into company. He latched on to Jane like a drowning man, perhaps because his side companion was Horace Gurney, who preferred to converse with his wineglass.

“
What subjects do you teach?
”
Parker asked her, and she told him English was her main subject, with some lessons in deportment. Of course, she reciprocated and asked him what he taught.

“Latin and Greek,” he said proudly. “I studied the classics at Oxford, and prepare the older boys for university. Education is the
sine qua non
of a gentleman, do you not agree, Miss Lonsdale?
”

“
Oh indeed, and I would add the same applies to ladies, in a lesser degree, of course.
”

“
Aere perennius
.”
Seeing her blank look, he translated,
“
More lasting than brass
—
education endures forever.
”

“
The classics are a useful ornament for gentlemen, I daresay, for sprinkling on speeches and things, but for every day, I have never felt the lack of Latin and Greek to be a drawback.
”
Until now, she added to herself.

“I am willing
audire alteram partem
, as you might say.
”

The conversation continued, partly in English, partly in Latin and Greek, and mostly in confusion on Jane
’
s side. It was almost a relief when Parker began to quiz her about her own work.

“
Miss Prism
’
s is an excellent school!
”
he said.
“
It turns out a well-finished young lady. My aunt used to work there. She is retired now.
”

“
Is she married?
”
Jane asked.

“
Oh no. It is an axiom that Miss Prism
’
s ladies are married to their work. She still lives in Bath, and sees her old friend Miss Prism often. I shall tell her I met you.
”

Jane felt an awful churning inside, yet she could hardly ask him not to mention her. She hoped that, like many casual conversations, this one would be forgotten as soon as the evening was over. Course followed course, until even Mrs. Swann was sated. Phoebe
’
s instructions to the cook obviated the necessity of the hostess
’
s doing any carving, except on her own plate.

“
Now it is time for us ladies to leave the gentlemen to their port,
”
Mrs. Swann said, pushing her chair back as she could not rise from it.
“
Don
’
t let the company overindulge, Scawen,
”
she cautioned, as the footman wheeled her out. She glanced at Horace Gurney, whose eyes were closed, his head resting on his chest.
“
Especially that one,
”
she added.
“
Wretched manners, to overindulge at the dinner table. I don
’
t know what that fellow is doing here.
”

Lady Sykes was not tardy to escape to the saloon, where Mrs. Swann
’
s ill nature was easily diverted to tearing Lady Pargeter apart for not coming to her party. Lady Sykes quite enjoyed herself, as the conversation allowed many slurs on the missing guest, each accompanied by a look that told Fay which Lady Pargeter she referred to, and it was not the late Lady Pargeter. Fay just patted her diamonds and smiled.

Ere long, the gentlemen joined them. Jane looked hopefully to Fenwick, but it was Mr. Parker who was legging it toward her, his eyes gleaming with the hope of impressing her with more Latin and Greek. Mrs. Swann rescued her by commanding Mr. Parker to join her and tell her all about himself. Unfortunately, Lord Fenwick was caught in the toils of Mrs. Rogers, who had met a lady who knew his mama, and wanted to tell him all about it. Until the tea tray arrived, Scawen sat with Jane, apologizing and complimenting her.

“
Mama meant no harm,
”
he said.
“
It
’
s just her little way. She likes you very much. Who would not?
”

“
I like her, too, Mr. Swann. I was not offended by her remarks, I promise you.
”

“
That is demmed decent of you, considering what she said about your
—
er, well, your body actually.
”

“
I believe she meant those comments as compliments.
”

“
Oh, certainly. And I agree. That is to say
—
By Jove, here is the tea tray,
”
he said, and darted off to recover his wits.

Mr. Parker also moved when the tea tray arrived. His pale eyes turned to Jane. Before he could grab a cup, Fenwick came forward and handed her one.

“
I have brought you some tea to keep you awake,
”
he said, sitting beside her.
“
I had to move quickly to outrun Parker
’
s long legs, but I spare no pains when it comes to rescuing a damsel in distress. Well, Miss Lonsdale, how do you like the pentagon that is forming around you?
”

“
Please speak English, milord. I have had enough Latin for one evening.
”

“Pentagon comes from the Greek, actually. As a schoolteacher yourself, you will pardon my foray into didacticism. A pentagon is a five-sided figure, having nothing to do with female swans, so far as I know. Mr. Parker has knocked our neat square out of kilter with his attentions. Was it perfectly dreadful, Miss Lonsdale? You are such a stoic, it
’
s hard to tell whether you were only bored, or ready to pick up your knife and stab him.
”

“
I was not so much bored as confused. I found myself wishing I knew German or Sanskrit, to show him how annoying it is to be spoken to in a foreign tongue. I prefer plain old Anglo-Saxon.
”

“
Even when it involves bosoms and hips?
”
he asked, with a laughing look.
“
She really is the limit. I adore her. Where else would you find such an original? If she were fifty or sixty years younger, I would make her my new flirt. Buy myself a Bath chair and go on the strut
—
er, wheel
—
together on Bond Street. Ply her with marchpane until I had the last tooth out of her head.
”

“
I do like her, in spite of all,
”
Jane said.
“
It
’
s so refreshing to meet someone who says exactly what she thinks.
”
It occurred to her that this was also part of Fenwick
’
s charm. Lady Swann was outspoken because she was senile; Fenwick, because he was so sure of himself, he didn
’
t have to worry what anyone thought. Scawen had not used the words
“
bosoms
”
and
“
hips,
”
but Fenwick did not hesitate to do so.

“
I agree. There has been a deal of double entendre here this evening, with Phoebe and Fay sniping at each other. When I am angry or jealous, I prefer to just come out with it, so I shall say without demur that I do not care for your Mr. Parker.
‘
I would have men about me that are fat. Yon Parker has a lean and hungry look.
’
You may now inquire with feigned obtuseness whether I speak from anger or jealousy, Miss Lonsdale.
”

“
I can
’
t see that you have anything to be jealous of, so I must assume you are angry with him.
”

“
Just so. It would be infra dig for a marquess to admit he was jealous of a schoolmaster, so I shall pretend I
’
m angry that he stole the place I wanted at the table. That is the trouble when one
’
s pentagons have so many masculine angles.
”

“
I didn
’
t realize that angles have gender. What, pray, is a masculine angle?
”

“
Why, to be sure, men are the obtuse angles. The ladies, I have noticed, are usually acute.
”

Their flirtation was interrupted by the arrival of Scawen, balancing a teacup in one hand. He drew a chair up and sat down, sloshing tea into his saucer.

“
Just giving the old ears a bit of a rest,
”
he said.
“
Parker collared me at the tea table. Was asking me about some Pelopon war. Daresay it
’
s Latin for the Peninsular War. What was you two talking about?
”

“
You, and three other gentlemen, and a lady,
”
Fenwick replied.

“
Eh? What was you saying about me? Three men and a lady. I never
—
heh heh.
”
Fenwick glinted a nervous smile at Jane.
“
It was about Mama, I suppose. I already apologized to Miss Lonsdale. Mind you, the dinner was dandy, barring the seating.
”

“
It was delightful, Mr. Swann,
”
Jane said.
“
It is your turn to dine with us next. Aunt Fay will be in touch with you shortly.
”

“
Look forward to it. And now I must get Mama to bed. I see she is nodding off. She
’
s not usually up so late. The excitement has gone to her head. Or perhaps it was the wine.
”

Everyone gathered to take their leave of Mrs. Swann.
“
Come again soon,
”
she said, smiling all around and waving her hand.

While they were on the move, Mrs. Rogers decided it was time to leave. Mr. Parker had come with her, and also took his leave, making a special foray in Jane’s direction to say good night to her, in hope of being invited to call at Wildercliffe. Jane feared this would only encourage him to speak to his aunt, who was on visiting terms with Miss Prism, and withheld the invitation. Scawen encouraged the party from Wildercliffe to remain, but Lady Pargeter was looking fatigued, and Jane left with her.

“
How did you like your future mama-in-law?
”
Fay asked, and laughed heartily.
“
What an evening. And on top of it all, I ate too much. I feel nauseous.
”

“
Mr. Parker was a bore. He has an aunt who used to work for Miss Prism. I hope he doesn
’
t call on me. I ignored his hints.
”

“
I invited the folks from Swann Hall to dinner the day after tomorrow. I shall need the extra day to prepare. We won
’
t invite Parker.
”

“
I
’
m glad you
’
re back on terms with one set of neighbors at least.
”

“
Two sets. I shall invite Lord Malton as well. That will give Lady Sykes something to think about.
”

“
I wish you two could get along better. She
’
s very nice to me.
”

“
You must not deprive us older ladies of our little animosities, Jane. They give spice to life. I don
’
t really dislike Lady Sykes. Under different circumstances, we could be friends. To tell the truth, I pity her
—
and she envies me. I rose higher than she. It is only we who were not so highly born as the company we find ourselves in who rip and claw at each other. I shall miss her, when she goes.
”

It was sad to think of Swann Hall without its guests. Jane knew she would miss Fenwick, too.

Lady Pargeter was ill during the night. Jane heard her in distress and went to her assistance.

“
I think it
’
s food poisoning,
”
Fay gasped.

“
Shall I send for the doctor?
”
Jane asked.

But when Fay had cast up her accounts, she felt better and decided against sending for Dr. Cassidy. Jane sat with her until she was sure her aunt was not going to have a relapse.

“
I wonder if Lady Sykes slipped something into my food,
”
Fay said. She looked wan and weak as she lay back against the pillows, lit only by the flicker of a lamp.