Tanderon (23 page)

His eyes began to examine me again, and I just couldn’t stand it. Being at the Academy wasn’t bad enough; now I had to have an infant chasing after me.

“You’ve got five seconds flat to move away from me,” I growled, making sure he knew I meant it. “If you aren’t gone in those five seconds, I’m going to break both of your arms and legs no matter how many demerits it costs me! Do you understand that, or do I have to use words of one syllable?”

“Okay, okay, calm down,” he soothed, gesturing with both palms toward me. “I can see you’re upset so I’ll leave – but only to keep you from getting into any more trouble. Just remember: when the dance on day 6 comes around, you’re going with me. I’ll see you then.”

He started off in the direction everyone else was going, but after no more than a couple of steps he stopped to look back at me again. “You’re so cute when you’re angry,” he announced with a laugh, then sprinted away still laughing when I took an uncontrollable step in his direction. I felt like beating my head against a wall, but it would have been a waste of good frustration. Talking to that boy had already accomplished the same end.

I didn’t continue to stand in the same place very long, but it wasn’t until I started to move again that I remembered Elaine was still with me. She hadn’t said a word during my conversation with the brown-eyed idiot, and she didn’t comment now that we’d resumed walking. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye, then turned my head to look at her.

“I still don’t think I believe that,” I said, wondering why she didn’t seem to be reacting at all. “Have you ever seen one like him?”

“Sure,” she responded with a listless nod, staring down at the grass we walked on.

“I’ve seen lots like him, but they were always after somebody else.”

So that’s it, I thought, finally understanding. Elaine had never been pursued and the lack hurt.

“Count your blessings,” I advised, trying to cheer her up. “If it was necessary I’d give him to you on a platter, but you’ll manage to find your own pests.”

“Oh, right,” she agreed, the bitterness in her voice matched by the bitterness in the glance she sent me. “Between you and Linda, who’s ever going to notice me?”

“Nobody, if you hang onto that attitude,” I told her, eliminating all kindness from my tone. “The thought for the day is ‘I’m worth knowing, and if you don’t want to know me it’s your loss.’ It can work wonders, so you might try it.”

“How would you know?” she suddenly demanded, anger flashing out of her plain, soft eyes. “No one who looks like you could ever know how I feel!”

She’d stopped walking to lash out at me with her pain, but she wasn’t the sort to keep it up very long.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she apologized at once, the anger disappearing as abruptly as it had flared. “I didn’t really mean to say that. I know you’re just trying to help.”

“Giving help is usually easier than taking it,” I observed with a sigh, touching her arm to start us walking again. “But when you get down to the final line, you often discover that no one can help you but yourself. And looking like me isn’t worth what you think it is.” Then I added in a mutter, “It isn’t even worth what I thought it was.”

“What did you say?” she asked, her expression still thoughtful as she considered the part she’d heard.

“Nothing,” I returned with a smile, shaking my head to dismiss futile thoughts.

“Nothing at all. Let’s get on to the food.”

The mess hall was a wide, one-story building at the end of South Street, with table assignments posted on a board hanging outside the front door. When Elaine and I got to our assigned table almost everyone else was already there, including our roommate Linda – who glanced at me as I took a chair near her.

“I see you really don’t waste any time, do you?” she said in the icky-sweet tones that seemed to be natural to her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, paying only partial attention to her as I settled myself.

“I saw you talking to someone on the parade ground,” she said, making graceful prints of her forefinger on the smooth surface of the table. “He’s not bad, but I bet I can do better.”

“Anybody could do better,” I assured her with a snort, then looked around the hall.

“Where’s the food? I’m starving.”

A sergeant had climbed to a small stage at the front of the large room, and he’d been watching the door. Suddenly he stepped forward and proceeded to prove he had no need whatsoever for a loudspeaker.

“Atten-shut!” he bellowed, and everyone in the room sprang to their feet with me following along the least little bit slower. Pete came in, honoring us with his presence, and went over to a small private table in the corner where Freddy already waited. When he sat down, the sergeant bellowed “As you were!” and chairs scraped all over the hall.

I had just gotten the chair under me again when a hand tapped my shoulder, and I turned to see Morrison with a grin on her face.

“The colonel would like to have a word with you,” she said with quiet amusement.

“Right this way.”

I got up again with a small sigh and followed her over to Pete’s table, where Pete was reading some papers and not looking up. I stood at attention and waited, taking the opportunity to study Freddy. He sat with one hand almost covering his eyes, refusing to look at me.

Suddenly, Pete’s ice-green stare was on me.

“I thought I made it clear to you that I would not tolerate insubordination,” he growled, letting me know that Morrison had Told All.

“Sir, proctors aren’t in the T.O.,” I pointed out with none of the monotone my voice was supposed to have had. “For that reason they’re not entitled to the courtesy due officers. Regulations are clear on the point.”

If I hadn’t known Pete so well, I might have also pointed out that regulations clearly showed that he had no authority over me either. Saying that would have been satisfying, but not very smart. Pete being Pete, I would have immediately found myself locked in the guardhouse, teams of efficient, alert guards making sure I stayed there.

Now, I’ve gotten out of similar situations without any trouble in the past, but not when circumstances required that I refrain from putting those guards away in some permanent manner. It would be a hell of a lot easier to do a fade if I were on the loose, so I kept my addenda to myself. Not that it did any good, as Pete had enough to occupy him with what I had said. His eyes blazed up and his hand hit the table so hard that the table almost went over, causing everyone in hearing range to jump.

“The last thing I need right now is a barracksroom lawyer!” he roared. “From this moment on you will consider every proctor you see an officer, and treat them accordingly! And you I will see in my office at 1930 hours! I think we’ll be able to find something to teach you the error of your ways. Dismissed!”

He glared at me an extra few seconds to get rid of part of the charge he carried, then he picked up the papers he’d been looking at and gave them his complete attention again. I hesitated so briefly I doubt if anyone noticed, then I backed off and walked away. I’d been tempted to get a few things said then and there, but the appointment we had for later on in the evening would do very nicely.

There were a number of things we had to get straight between us, Pete and I, but privacy would be a better backdrop for them. Morrison had been grinning openly as I’d walked away, and most of the eyes in the not-so-immediate vicinity were on me.

Pete, like his sergeant, didn’t often need the help of a loudspeaker either.

When I got back to my table I sat down again, then reached for the food that had been served during the small confrontation I’d attended. Muted whispers and half-hidden stares surrounded me, thanks to Pete and his pronouncements. Even the people at my table joined in, or maybe I should say especially the people at my table.

Elaine gave me one wide-eyed stare of dismay before pasting her attention to what was on her plate, but Linda would have had to have been struck dumb to pass on the chance she’d been handed. She laughed openly until I was settled next to her again, then she leaned toward me.

“Oo, sounds like pappa’s gonna spank,” she cooed, delighted with the prospect.

“Think it’ll be worth it?”

I doubted if she knew what the flap had been about. Possibly she thought I was making trouble just to have something to do, but come to think of it she might not have been all that wrong. I turned my head to look straight at her, and matched the evil grin she’d been sending me.

“If you don’t know, asking won’t help,” I purred, enjoying the way her face went instantly furious. “Pass the vegetables, please.”

She tossed her head and went back to her food with a sniff, ignoring me as if I were beneath her notice. I got the vegetables myself, pretending not to see Elaine’s half swallowed grin and began to eat quietly, trying not to get indigestion from the wonderful cooking. I had a date to look forward to, and I intended to be in top form.

Pete left the mess hall first, bringing everyone to their feet a second time. Not long after that Freddy took his turn, walking out as though he had something on his mind.

I took my time the way everyone else was doing, enjoying the one free evening before classes started. I’d had the foresight to tuck a couple of cigarettes into my belt before leaving the room earlier, so I smoked one before standing up and heading for the outside.

That one cigarette caused more whispered comment around me than even old time cigarettes could have, during the time when smoking alone was considered bad for you. Most of the kids in my vicinity must have thought that smoking in the mess hall was against regulations, and were surprised when none of the proctors or officers came over to nail me. The more experienced cadets knew better, of course, but the more experienced cadets weren’t the ones sitting around me.

When I walked out of the mess hall I found Freddy standing about ten feet to the left of the doors, obviously waiting for me. I hadn’t expected him to be waiting, but he happened to be standing in the direction I had to go in so I walked up to him despite the look he had on his face. Freddy wasn’t pleased with me, and he wasn’t bothering to hide the fact.

“You don’t do things half way, do you?” he asked as soon as I reached him, looking down at me in annoyance. “When you set out to commit suicide, you go all the way.

I waited for you because I didn’t want to leave you in doubt. You made it.”

The wind had died down a little, slowing the dust clouds swirling around and thinning them, leaving the air clearer and more breathable. I met Freddy’s light, angry eyes and shrugged my indifference.

“An accomplishment is an accomplishment,” I said. “What’s the matter, Freddy, have you gotten that used to yellow flags? Check your medical coverage, and see if there’s anything in there about backbone transplants.”

“That’s not funny,” he growled, his voice hardening as his head went up. “I’m not the one whose big mouth put her tail in a sling. If knowing when to keep quiet means I’m a coward, then you ought to try a little cowardice. It comes highly recommended for continued good health.”

“My health is fine, thanks,” I murmured, brushing some imaginary lint from his uniform blouse. “You going my way?”

“Only in passing,” he said, then took my arm the way he always did. “You’re heading for a place all your own, and we’d better get moving. Pete’s wild enough already. If you show up late on top of it, he’ll break out the flogging post – Diana, what’s wrong?”

I’d stopped short, and it was all I could do to keep the snarl off my face. Cadets were strolling with us and past us on the street, happy that the day’s rushing and hurrying was over, faintly curious about the cadet walking with Major Drummond.

I stood there with my fists clenched, suddenly seeing nothing but the image the words “flogging post” had conjured. I saw the room James had had me tied in, felt the ropes that had bitten into my flesh as his cane tore my back open, heard the insanity of his laughter, experienced the terror of my screams. I shuddered as I drove the picture away from me, reached over to rub at my left shoulder, then shook my head in response to his question.

“Nothing’s the matter,” I told the concern in his stare, making him know it wasn’t something I was prepared to discuss. “Let’s go.”

We began to walk again, becoming part of the movement again, and after a long moment I was able to force the tension out of me. It isn’t smart to let memories like that cling to you, but it was still too soon for me to expect them to be submerged and forgotten like the rest. Freddy didn’t ask any more questions but his hold on my arm was strong and calm, the touch letting me know he was there.

When we got to Pete’s office building and walked in the door, the same sergeant was seated behind the reception desk. He raised his head and watched me walk closer to his post, and his face wore the expression of someone who was pleased with what was going to happen. He must have heard about what had gone on in the mess hall between Pete and me, and he obviously couldn’t wait for me to get my come-uppance.

“The Colonel will be with you in a few minutes, cadet,” he drawled, just short of a grin of pleasure. “I suggest you get to attention right where you are, and see how long you can hold it without breathing.”

He leaned his forearms on the old, dark brown wood of his desk and let more of the satisfaction come through in his eyes, but that was the wrong attitude to take with me just now. I heard Freddy’s footsteps coming closer and had the impression he was about to say something, but I had no interest in what anyone else had to say.

“That sounds like a good idea,” I commented to the sergeant, keeping my tone light as I held his gaze. “But I have a better one.”

There was a chair standing to the left of the sergeant’s desk, toward Pete’s office. I reached a hand out to it, moved it a short distance away from the desk, walked around it, sat down, and propped my feet up on the edge of the desk. The sergeant watched my actions with his mouth half open, just as though he knew there was something he should be saying. His only trouble seemed to be that he couldn’t think of what that something should be composed of.