Sweet Love (The Sweet Series Book 1) (11 page)

The kids didn’t go to school today. We kept them home since last night was so emotional on everyone. They even slept with Sawyer and me, they didn’t want to leave me, and I didn’t want to be away from them either. I haven’t been able to swallow past the permanent lump that has formed in my throat since telling them.

I know I’m doing the right thing but it doesn’t make it any easier. My heart is shattered knowing how much I’m hurting my family.

The last people on earth I’d ever want to hurt.

When making this decision, I had been thinking about Lucy and how I needed to help her any way I could. Of course I thought about my family too, especially what I would do if they had Lucy’s condition. However, after last night I’ve been thinkin’ more about the risks to myself and what would happen if something does goes wrong.

Who will take care of them if something happens to me? Who will bake pies with Hope? Or make sure Parker gets all the hugs and kisses he deserves. Would Sawyer remarry?

These thoughts leave me heartsick.

They’re all things I can’t stop thinking about and I’m terrified. I’m trying to be strong though and not show it. Not only because I don’t want to worry the kids but also because I know this was a choice I made. It’s not fair to dump my fears on Sawyer when I know he’s struggling with this himself. So I’ve vowed to keep this locked inside as best as I can and be strong for my family. It’s the least I can do.

“I sure hope Miss Lucy likes my creation.”

With a smile I put the warm pot back on the stove. “I’m sure she’ll love it. She’s really excited to meet you and Parker, so that in itself will make her happy.”

As I come up beside her and start sealing up the pie with the dough, Hope begins putting the heart shapes on top for decoration.

“Mama, can I ask you somethin’?”

“Of course.”

“If Lucy’s daddy is your daddy, how come we never saw him before?”

I knew this question would come up eventually. I was surprised it hadn’t last night, probably because there were other things preoccupying their little minds and hearts.

A small sigh leaves me as I think of how to explain it to her. I decide with the truth. “My mom, Grandma Hope, met my dad before he met Lucy’s mom,” I pause, making sure she’s following me. When she nods I continue. “When Grandma Hope got pregnant with me, he decided he wasn’t ready to have a child and ended up moving away.”

“He didn’t want you?”

How one innocent question can strike so much pain. I shake my head and give her a small smile.

“That’s not very nice,” she whispers.

I shrug, trying to act like it doesn’t hurt. “Not everyone gets to have an amazin’ daddy like you, but you know what?”

“What?”

“It didn’t hurt me because I had the best Mama in the whole world. Her love was so strong it was all I needed. We laughed together, baked together, shopped together. We conquered the world, just her and me.”

She smiles. “I bet you miss her a whole lot.”

I nod. “Every day. But havin’ you, Parker, and Daddy makes it better.”

“I wish I could’ve met her.”

Close to losing the tears I’m desperately trying to hold in, I move behind her again and wrap my arms around her small body, holdin’ her close.

“Me too, baby. She would have loved y’all so much. But I know she’s smilin’ down on us from heaven with every pie we make.” The thought of Hope having to live without me, if something goes wrong on Friday, has a searing pain slicing through me. “I want you to promise me somethin’, Hope,” I whisper, turning to press a kiss to her cheek.

“Anythin’.”

“Never forget this. Never forget our moments together. Whenever you’re missin’ me, remember what it feels like when we’re together, creatin’ something special with our hands. Something no one else can because it came only from us. No matter what happens, we’ll always have this.” I’m amazed at how strong my voice is considering how frail I am on the inside.

“I’ll never forget, Mama. You’re my bestest friend in the whole world.”

My teeth sink into my bottom lip. “You’re mine too, baby.” I do my best to swallow back the emotion burning my throat. “You ready to finish off this pie?”

She nods.

Sweeping some flour between my fingers, I start the poem we always say to finish off each recipe. “All you need is a pinch of Grace,” I whisper, sprinkling it on the pie.

“And a dash of Hope,” she follows, tossing more on top.

“To make life sweeter.” I turn and press a kiss to her cheek.

“And help love grow,” she whispers, kissin’ my cheek back, her tears mixin’ with my own.

Sawyer

A
fter washing our hands at the station, Grace knocks on Lucy’s hospital room door and peeks her head in.

“Hey, y’all, is it okay if we come in?” she says.

I have no idea who is all in there. I’m praying her asshole sperm donor isn’t one of them. It’s one thing to accept this for Lucy’s sake but I refuse to accept him. Anytime I’m around him I want to knock his ass out.

“Yes, of course, come in.”

Grace and Hope enter first. With a hand on Parker’s shoulder I urge him in after them, knowing he’s still hesitant even after the talk I had with him earlier. Can’t say I blame the kid, I felt the same way…still do, but after meeting Lucy I feel a little differently and hopefully he will, too.

“Oh my gosh, who do we have here?” Lucy’s frail voice barely echoes through the room as she struggles to sit up and greet everyone. She looks even worse than when I saw her yesterday. Her face is paler and eyes more sunken in.

Shit!

Her mom and sister are with her and both look like they’ve been crying. Thankfully, no sign of the old man. They quickly wipe their tears away and Grace starts the introductions with Barbara.

“Hello, Miss Barbara, nice to meet ya,” my Shortcake says, putting her tiny hand out all businesslike to shake Barbara’s.

“Well hello, little Miss Hope, it’s a pleasure to meet you. What good manners you have.” She shakes her hand before moving to Parker next. “And you, Parker.”

“Hey,” Parker mumbles, accepting her hand for the sake of pleasantries.

“And this is Piper,” Grace says next.

Piper kneels in front of them. “Hi, Hope and Parker, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m glad you guys could come. We could sure use the company tonight.”

“Is everything okay?” Grace asks, concerned.

“Everything is fine,” Lucy croaks.

The look Barbara and Piper give each other says it’s clearly not but they leave it alone.

“My turn.” Lucy looks at the children, eagerly waiting for her introduction.

Hope doesn’t wait for Grace to introduce her and walks right up to the bed. “Hi, Miss Lucy, my name is Hope Catherine Evans. Me and Mama baked you a special pie today.” She thrusts the pie toward her that she’s been holding. “It’s one of my most specialist creations. It’s called Healin’ Pie. It’s gonna heal you for when Mama helps with your osperation.”

Lucy stares at her, her sunken eyes wide and glossy with tears. “You made this for me?”

“Yes, ma’am. Mama helped of course, ’cause only the best pies are made when we do it together.”

She gapes at her, tears spilling down her cheeks. “Thank you so much. This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.”

She’s about to take the pie from Hope but Grace intervenes, grabbing it to set it down on the stand next to her.

“You’re welcome,” Hope says. “I wasn’t sure what your favorites were so I took a guess. Do you like bananas, chocolate, marshmallows, and…” She pauses, thinking. “Oh yes, and caramel?”

Lucy smiles. Her body might look weak but her smile sure isn’t. “Yes, I do. Those were great guesses.”

Hope beams, proud of herself.

“Can I have a hug, Hope?”

Hope walks into her arms before she finishes the question, hugging her tight. “Everythin’ is gonna be okay, Miss Lucy. I’ve been prayin’.”

A bunch of muffled sniffles sound throughout.

Jesus, now my fucking throat is on fire.

“Thank you,” Lucy whispers. “Prayers can be powerful and I need all the ones I can get right now.”

Barbara turns away to hide her emotion and moves for the door. “I’m going to go get Dr. Schaefer and let her know Grace is here.”

That puts me on alert. It’s clear there’s something going on.

After the door closes Hope steps back and Lucy looks at Parker. “Hi, Parker.”

“Hey,” he greets her, his voice softer than before.

“You’re as handsome as your daddy,” she tells him.

“I know.”

Everyone chuckles at his honesty.

Can’t blame the kid for being confident. I urge him forward to give her what he has.

“Um, I got this for you.” As he hands her the big folded piece of paper Grace comes to stand next to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I pull her in close and drop a kiss on the top of her head.

Lucy opens the picture and a single rose falls out. Picking it up she brings it to her nose, her eyes closing as she inhales it. A smile forms on her lips when she looks at Parker. “You bought me this flower?”

He nods. “Yeah, my dad took me.”

“He even used his own money,” I tell her, knowing he won’t.

Her smile brightens. “I’ve never gotten flowers from a boy before. Thank you, Parker.”

“You’re welcome,” he mumbles, ducking his head.

Barbara and Dr. Schaefer come walking in at that moment.

“Hi, Grace,” she greets her with a smile before nodding at me. “Sawyer.”

I return her nod, my heart pounding like a fucking drum in my chest.

Grace introduces her to the kids.

“Very nice to meet you both,” she says, shaking each of their hands before looking at Grace and me. “Can I speak to you for a moment out in the hall?”

I glance down at the kids, not wanting them to hear whatever the hell she’s going to say.

Piper waves us away. “Go ahead, Lucy and I will keep them company.”

“Is that okay with you guys?” I ask them, mainly looking at Parker.

When they both nod, Piper brings Parker over to the chair beside her while Hope crawls up on Lucy’s bed next to her. Feeling certain they’re okay with it, Grace and I follow the doctor and Barbara out into the hall.

“What’s happening?” Grace asks, her voice trembling.

A look of regret washes over Dr. Schaefer’s face. “Lucy is deteriorating even faster than I expected. I’m nervous to wait until Friday. What are the chances of you being able to come in sooner?”

“How soon?” Grace asks.

“Tomorrow afternoon.”

“Fuck,” I breathe, feeling like someone’s ripping my fucking guts out.

Grace looks up at me with fear in her eyes. I pull her against me and try tamping down the panic threatening to suffocate me.

“Yes,” she whispers. “If there’s no other choice then I’ll be here tomorrow.”

Tomorrow.

One fucking night before my wife gives a part of herself she’ll never get back. An act of selflessness that could very well cost her, her own life and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.

Grace

W
e sit in the living room at Jax and Jules’s with some of our closest friends. After we left the hospital Sawyer had called Cade, Cooper, and Mac to come and meet us so we could fill them in.

All the children are upstairs in the playroom, their laughter traveling through the solemn air, easing some of my anxious heart.

“You sure about this, Grace?” Cooper asks.

I nod. “Y’all would understand if you met Lucy. She’s amazing and has become very special to me in a short amount of time.”

Mac puts an arm around my shoulders. “You know I’m worried ’bout you, darlin’, but it’s your decision and I respect it. Don’t worry about the bakery. I got you covered.”

“We’ll all pitch in and help,” Faith says. “We can even take the kids if you need.”

“Thanks, but Sawyer’s parents will be here in the morning, they’re gonna help.” I glance at Sawyer who leans against the wall. He gives me a wink and smile that does nothing to mask the turmoil in his expression.

He looks destroyed and it’s my fault.

“Grace, why don’t us girls go outside and get some air?” Kayla suggests.

Swallowing thickly, I nod and get up to follow them out the door. Sawyer stops me as I pass him with a hand on my arm. As I look up at him, he hooks a hand around my neck and pulls me in for a kiss. A kiss that floods my body with warmth and lights up my soul.

A kiss I pray to feel for the next fifty years.

He pulls back and rests his forehead on mine, creatin’ an intimacy as if we’re the only people in the room. After a long moment he presses his lips to where his forehead was resting and lets me go.

I walk away quickly, not wanting to burst into tears in front of everyone. As soon as I make it outside I take in lungfuls of much needed air, my breath heavy and fast.

“Yeah, figured you could use some fresh air,” Kayla says.

“Are you okay, Grace?” Julia asks, coming up to rub my back.

I’m about to lie and say
yes
, but my heart can’t do it. “No, I’m not. I hate that I’m hurting my family. I’m so scared, not only for myself but Lucy, too. Everything is happenin’ so fast I feel like I can’t catch my breath.”

“Are you having second thoughts?” Faith asks.

“No. Not at all, but it’s still scary, ya know? Lucy…” I trail off, lightly shaking my head. “She still has so much to live for. Y’all will love her when you meet her.”

“I’m sure we will, especially if she’s a part of you,” Julia says, warming my heart.

“The whole situation sucks, Grace,” Kayla starts. “But you can’t blame yourself for any of this. Not even your family’s feelings. No matter what decision you would have chosen it would have hurt someone, but with this decision it could work out for everyone.”

“Exactly,” Faith agrees softly. “If it’s any consolation I would be doing the very same thing.”

I stare back at three of my closest friends—friends who have become like sisters to me—and ask them the one thing that’s being weighing on me the most.

“I need y’all’s help,” I whisper, the tears I’ve been desperately trying to hold back erupting to the surface.