Striker (43 page)

‘Jesus,’ Amber sighed, running a hand through her messed-up curls. ‘I don’t know how I want to take things at all. I’m just so confused…’

He pulled her into his arms and she put up no fight, letting him hold her, loving the feel of his body against hers, closing her eyes as his mouth covered hers in another beautiful, slow kiss. ‘However you want to play this, Amber, I won’t push it. I promise. If you want to keep this just between us for the time being then that’s what we’ll do. After all, we’ve got the rest of our lives together now, haven’t we?’

She looked up into his eyes again, every ounce of resolve she might have had left disappearing within seconds. He’d won. The fight was over, she knew that. She had to be with Jim. She had to be. But how she told Ryan that, she had no idea.
 

*

Ryan needed to find her. The thought that she might have seen him behaving like a complete idiot felt like a thump to the stomach, a sobering-up the like of which he’d never experienced before. Despite the escape from reality he’d enjoyed that afternoon, something was telling him that maybe it was time to slow all that down now, before he burned himself out. Before he lost Amber for good. He’d treat her like crap over the past few months and it made him sick to think of what he’d done behind her back; how he’d thrown her trust back in her face when all she’d wanted to do was help him.

Leaving the party behind he walked through the hotel lobby, bumping into Gary who was making his way back towards the function room, looking like the cat who’d got the proverbial cream.

‘I take it you found Ms. Red-Head, then?’ Ryan asked dryly.

‘Mate, that is one red-hot red-head! And it might be cold outside, but she’s just managed to warm me up like you wouldn’t believe. Man, I am buzzing!’

Ryan just looked at him. ‘Your fiancée is in that room, you do realise that, don’t you?’

Gary
shrugged, sticking his hands in his pockets and grinning as the red-head sauntered past, throwing him a smile that screamed a thousand words. ‘What the eye doesn’t see… something you’d know all about, eh, Ryan?’

‘Have you seen Amber?’ he asked, ignoring
Gary
’s comment.

‘Amber? Hang on, yeah. I
did
see her a while ago, actually, on me way out to find Karli.’

‘Karli?’ Ryan frowned.

‘Yeah. Ms. Red-Head.’

‘Okay. So, you saw Amber. Where was she going? Did you see?’

‘She was going upstairs.’

‘Upstairs?’ Ryan asked, frowning again. ‘Why?’

‘How should
I
know, mate. I didn’t speak to her, I just saw her get into the lift. Maybe she was going to your room or something.’

‘Oh, yeah,’ Ryan said, breathing a sigh of relief. ‘Of course. Right, okay. I’ll go see if I can find her, then.’

‘You do that. I suppose
I’d
better get back in there and see how much the missus hasn’t missed me. Catch you later, mate.’

But Ryan had already gone. The sooner he found Amber the better, and got this night back on track.

*

‘I made Ryan so many promises,’ Amber whispered, leaning back against the wall opposite the lift, pulling Jim closer by his jacket collar, but only because the corridor was quiet. She was ready to push him away should anyone else appear. But the noise still drifting up from the party downstairs told them nobody seemed in any hurry to turn in for the night just yet. ‘And knowing I’m going to have to break those promises…’ She looked at him. ‘I know exactly how he’s going to feel, because I’ve been there.’

Jim looked away briefly before turning back to face her, placing his hand palm-down on the wall beside her head, leaning in to kiss her slightly open mouth. ‘He’ll get over it, Amber. Kids like Ryan, they always do.’

‘Are you speaking from experience there, huh? Did you get over
me
that quickly, then?’

‘Amber, honey, come on…’

She smiled, stroking his face with her fingertips, kissing him ever-so-lightly. ‘Alright, I’m sorry, but… you’re just gonna have to give me some time, Jim. Okay? You hurt me. You made it difficult for me to ever trust anyone again so you have to realise that I can’t just push what happened under the carpet as though it never happened at all. Even if that’s how we’re gonna have to act when we eventually go public. For now, though, it’s just you and me.’ She kissed him again, a little longer, a littler harder. ‘Until I work out what I’m going to say to Ryan, nobody else can know anything.’

But neither of them had heard the lift doors open or seen the figure step out. Neither of them had heard a thing.

‘I’d say it’s a little late for that, wouldn’t you?’

Chapter Seventeen

‘Does someone want to tell me what the fuck is going on?’ Ryan asked, not quite believing what he was seeing in front of him – Amber, and Jim Allen? He knew they were friends, but,
this
? ‘Have you two…? Have you been…?’ He shook his head. ‘No, this isn’t right. I can see it on your face, Amber. You’ve slept with him. Just now. I can tell. You’ve just fucked him…’

‘Jesus, Ryan, please,’ Amber said, pushing Jim away and running over to him, trying to take his hand but he pulled it back. She stared at him. ‘Hang on a minute. Are you honestly gonna stand there and lecture
me
on cheating when
you
have been shagging Christ knows
what
behind my back because, whatever you’ve told me, I know it’s still going on. I know…’

‘He’s my
manager,
Amber. He’s my fucking boss!’

‘Okay… okay, please, keep your voice down…’

‘You might want to listen to her, Ryan,’ Jim said, folding his arms as he looked at his star striker. ‘She’s giving you good advice.’

‘What the fuck…?’ Ryan made to go for Jim, but Jim stood his ground as Amber threw an arm between them, grabbing Ryan by the waist to pull him back.

‘That’s not a good idea, Ryan. Come on. Come on, we’ll go somewhere quiet. We’ll talk about this.’

He looked at her, still not able to take it all in. How long had this been going on? All the time he and Amber had been together? Or was it just some stupid, drunken mistake? The kind of thing that happened at Christmas parties. He’d like to believe the latter, but he knew how close Jim was to Amber – he’d just thought it was friendship, that was all. How wrong could he be?

‘I can’t do this,’ Ryan said, shaking his head again, waves of confusion mixed with anger washing over him. ‘I can’t fucking do this. I’ve got to get out of here…’

‘No, Ryan! Ryan, please…’

‘Leave him, Amber.’

‘No, I
won’t
leave him, Jim. What if he says something? What if this all comes out now?’ She knew that was a really selfish way of looking at things, but she couldn’t help panicking. This was all so complicated, so hard to explain.

‘Then we deal with it.’

‘Jesus, I love the way you can be so calm about everything. You make it sound so bloody easy. Have you got any idea how he’s feeling right now? Huh? How much this could hurt him?’

‘It’s you and me now, Amber.’ Jim walked over to her, tilting up her chin so her eyes met his. ‘It’s you and me now.’

She shook her head, pulling away from him. ‘Not yet, Jim. Not until I’m sure he’s alright.’

And before Jim could stop her she was running downstairs, hoping she could catch Ryan before he did anything stupid. Because only she knew what he was capable of right now, and that thought alone made her nervous.

Out of breath and with her heart feeling as though it was beating out of her chest Amber finally made it down to the hotel lobby in time to see Ryan walking back into the party. She practically ran to catch up with him, finding him at the bar downing a large whisky.

‘What do you want?’ He wasn’t really in the mood to talk to her. Not after what he’d just seen.

‘I want to talk to you,’ she replied. ‘Please, Ryan. I can explain…’

He laughed. He couldn’t help it. Was she
really
going to wheel out the old
“I can explain”
cliché? ‘Yeah. That’s what they all say, isn’t it?’

She was starting to get a touch aggravated now. How dare he stand there and act like the wounded victim? After everything
he’d
done? ‘Listen, Ryan,’ she began, trying to keep her voice quiet because the last thing she wanted was a scene. ‘I don’t know where you get off acting all holier than thou, I mean, Jesus, you were practically fucking those two girls at the bar right in front of me…’

‘Just how close a family friend
is
he, Amber? Has “Uncle” Jim always been this attentive to his best friend’s daughter? Exactly how much does daddy know, huh?’

Amber glared at him. ‘My dad knows nothing, Ryan. And if you care anything about me then you won’t say a word. Please. There’s a lot more to this than you know…’

He threw his head back and laughed again. ‘Jesus Christ… But, do you know what? Things are suddenly a lot clearer now, like, why Jim dropped me from that match a few weeks ago. Was it going on then, Amber? Did he get jealous of you and me and decide to exert his authority in the only way he knew how? Is that the way it was?’

‘Look, Ryan – we’re in one hell of a messed-up relationship, you and me. It’s been like that from the start, and I don’t think even
you
can argue with me on that score.’

‘I love you, Amber. I fucking told you that, and I should have realised when you didn’t say it back…’

‘You never loved me, Ryan. How could you love me when you did what you did?’

‘I love you,’ Ryan repeated, looking right into her eyes. ‘Yes, I’ve been an idiot, and if you must know I was on my way upstairs to find you and tell you exactly how I feel and how much of an idiot I’ve been. How much I regret what I’ve done because my actions could have meant I lost you. And I didn’t want to face that. Suddenly that scared me, y’know? But it seems like you didn’t really give a fuck about me.’

‘You are so wrong, Ryan. You are so, so wrong…’

‘You never had any intention of sticking by me, did you? Not when you were sleeping with my fucking manager.’

Amber leaned back against the bar, closing her eyes for a second as she tried to take in just what was happening here. ‘We need to talk, Ryan,’ she said quietly, looking at him, but he was staring straight ahead. ‘And here really isn’t the place, is it?’

He turned to face her. Shit! He was never going to get his head around the fact she’d been sleeping with Jim Allen. But some sick part of him really wanted to know just what was going on between those two, even if he wasn’t going to like everything he heard. ‘Let’s go upstairs. Come on. We can talk in peace up there.’

She didn’t know whether to breathe a sigh of relief that he seemed to have suddenly calmed down, or whether to feel nervous because he could be so unpredictable. Either way, she was just glad they were getting out of there to somewhere more private. At least he seemed sober and sensible enough to realise that causing a scene wasn’t the best move – for anyone.

Closing the door of their room behind him, Ryan watched as she walked over to the window, throwing her bag onto the floor by the bed. ‘You said there was a lot more to this… what did you mean by that?’

She turned around, folding her arms against her as she leaned back against the window sill. ‘This isn’t just… it isn’t just a recent thing, me and Jim.’

Ryan walked further into the room, his hands in his pockets, looking at her through narrowed eyes. ‘How d’you mean, not a recent thing? How long’s it been going on? Before me and you?’

Amber turned away for a second, unsure as to what good telling him this would do, but he deserved to know the truth. She owed him that much.

‘It started when I… when he was a player, for Red Star.’

Ryan frowned, keeping his eyes on her all the time, even though she was looking at the floor. ‘That was… how
old
were you back then? He was about
my
age when he joined Red Star, wasn’t he?’

Amber nodded, still staring at her boots, her arms still folded across her chest. ‘I was sixteen, Ryan…’

‘Sixteen? Jesus Christ, Amber…’

‘Let me finish, Ryan. Please.’ She finally looked up, her eyes locking onto his, swallowing hard before she spoke again. ‘I had this – this massive crush on him…’

‘And he took advantage of that, did he?’

‘Please. Just, let me finish. It went on for a couple of years, but nobody else knew. Nobody. Not my dad, not my mum, nobody. It was all this huge, exciting secret. Until he hurt me. Until he became involved with somebody else and just threw me aside like some used toy. So I left the North East, tried to forget him by throwing myself into university life and it worked, y’know? For a while. Until I moved back home to find him still around. Only, this time he was single again.’

‘You went back to him?’ Ryan asked, finding it really hard to believe that someone like Amber could be so weak. She just hadn’t struck him as that kind of woman.