Stricken (The War Scrolls Book 1) (20 page)

Killian’s eyes fell closed on a sigh of relief.

“Please,” she whispered one final time. “Don’t ask me to let you sacrifice yourself for me when my family has killed so many already. Don’t ask me to live with that burden.” She took a deep breath. “You say the Fallen risked human lives so they could live, and now you ask me to let you die so I can. Don’t turn me into a coward like them, Killian. Don’t make me responsible for your death.”

Silence seemed to stretch forever as she waited for him to say something. The clock ticked in the background. Her heart beat in time. Killian didn’t move and didn’t speak. He stood there for long moments, his eyes closed and his hand pressed to her heart.

Finally, though, he exhaled and opened his eyes. “I might not have a choice,” he said, doubt and hesitation lingering in his words.

“Isn’t being with me worth fighting for?” she asked, barely daring to breathe. Barely daring to hope. “Isn’t
living
worth fighting for? We’ll find a way to convince the Dominion to let me live. But if you aren’t here—if you die—how am I supposed to do that alone?”

Killian bowed his head for a long moment before meeting her gaze once more. When he did, promise burned in the Fallen-blue depths of his eyes, and she knew. He was going to try. Relief rushed through her in a flood, thawing all those places that had frozen solid at the thought of him dying because of her.

“I’ll kill them myself before I let them hurt you.”

She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest.

***

Killian held Aubrey’s small body to his chest, listening to the soft rush of her breath and the rhythmic beating of her heart. He felt torn in two, as if she were the only thing keeping him together. He was terrified that he might live to regret his decision and not terrified nearly enough at the same time.

He wanted her. He wanted to live for her. More than was good for her. More than was honorable or right. He didn’t have the strength to tell her no, though, not when she offered him the things he wanted. Her. Hope. More time. The chance of a future not filled with death and destruction. If there was even a remote chance he could give that to her, that he could have that with her, he had to try, didn’t he?

He breathed her in, trying to find the trust she seemed to have as they stood in each other’s arms. After everything she’d been through, after everything his world had taken from her…how could she stand there and tell him that she wanted to be with him? That she trusted him to keep her safe from the Dominion?

Her faith in him was more than he could process.

“You should try to rest before we leave,” he finally said, relaxing his hold on her a little.

She shook her head instantly and looked up at him. Her eyes were still red-rimmed from crying as they had been all day, but they were less desolate now. Hope glimmered in the green depths. Hope and him. His reflection. “I don’t want to rest,” she said, her tongue peeking out to touch her bottom lip.

“No?” he asked, leaning forward until his forehead rested against hers. His heartbeat seemed loud to him as if it thundered in his chest at the heated look in her eyes. He inched forward, until his lips were a mere breath from hers. “What do you want, Aubrey?”

She closed that small distance without hesitation. “This,” she murmured into his mouth.

He tightened his hold on her, dragging her body closer as her lips moved against his. Her tongue darted out to touch his bottom lip. Desire burned through him, her boldness whispering to the man within.

“Killian,” she breathed, weaving her hands into his hair. She tugged lightly on the strands, demanding he get closer, kiss her more fully.

He growled and swept her into his arms before spinning to lay her on top of the bed.

“Oh!” she gasped as he followed her down, hovering carefully over her with his mouth on hers.

He kissed her deeply, sweeping his tongue inside her mouth to tangle with hers. She mewled and arched toward him, clutching strands of his hair in her hands. Their motions were desperate, as if the uncertainty of the last days had finally caught up and demanded an outlet.

Her heat called to him, luring him to that place he ached to go.

God help him, he wanted her, man to woman. So badly it hurt.

He flipped her over, hoping a change in position would give him more control.

It didn’t, not really.

She settled on top of him, her hips flush with his.

He groaned, breaking their kiss. “Aubrey, I don’t think—”

She pulled his bottom lip into her mouth.

He moved his hands to her waist and held her in place as hard as he dared.

Her lust-filled gaze met his. “Don’t think,” she whispered.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Her simple affirmation wound through him, coiling him like a spring.

Aubrey moaned when he pressed his mouth to hers again.

He slid his hands up her back, dragging her T-shirt up before delving beneath. Her skin was soft under his hands and so warm. He’d never touched anyone so intimately before. The rush of feeling spiraling through him was indescribable.

Aubrey slowed the kiss and pulled away.

Killian growled as her upper body moved away from his and then groaned as her center pressed against him. She placed her hands on his shoulders to steady herself. Her eyes were wide, her lips swollen.

She smiled at him and grabbed the hem of her shirt.

In one fluid move, she pulled it up and over her head.

“Sweet Heaven,” he whispered as the shirt fell from her hands. He stared at her, dazed and afraid to move. He wanted to touch her so badly. To feel all that creamy skin beneath his palms. Beneath his lips.

His hands trembled as he slid them up her waist and onto her sides.

Aubrey moaned, her head falling back.

He quested higher, his fingertips brushing across the bottom of her simple lace bra.

He swallowed hard against the need burning through him, against the depth of his desire. He’d seen so much in his lifetime. More than he’d ever imagined. But this—her complete faith in him, her willingness to let him see her like this, to let him touch her like this—was more amazing to him than any of that.

He ran his hands up, brushing his palms across her breasts.

A low groan tumbled from his lips.

Aubrey watched him, her body shaking as she sucked in ragged breaths.

Killian froze, barely daring to breathe.

“Are you afraid of me?” he asked.

She lifted her head to meet his gaze again. Her eyes were soft and warm, her smile even more so. “No,” she whispered, reaching around to unclasp her bra. The straps slid down her shoulders before she tugged it off, still smiling at him. “I’ve never been less afraid of you, Killian.”

He crushed his mouth to hers.

Chapter Nineteen

“Are you tired?” Killian asked, running his hands through Aubrey’s hair as she curled around him on the bed.

“No.” She stretched beside him, groaning. She felt sated in a way she never had before, complete. As if Killian had filled up all the empty, painful places inside her once and for all. She didn’t know what tomorrow would bring for either of them, but tonight had brought peace for both of them.

The fear was all but gone from his eyes, washed away by what they’d shared. He had been slow and soft with her. And so reverent when he made love to her she’d wanted to cry.

Her stomach growled, causing Zee to pop up from his spot by Killian’s head and mewl.

“I think your mama is hungry.” Killian chuckled, stroking a fingertip down Zee’s head. The kitten purred and butted his head against Killian’s hand in a demand for more attention. Killian chuckled again and scratched his ears. “Hellcat,” he muttered without heat before pressing a kiss to Aubrey’s temple. “You haven’t eaten today. We should feed you.”

“Mm,” she groaned. She hadn’t been particularly hungry before, but she was starving now. “I don’t want to move.”

Killian laughed softly and kissed her temple again before plopping Zee down in her lap.

Zee peeked up at her and yawned.

“What do you want?”

Aubrey scrunched her nose up, thinking about it. “Animal crackers,” she decided. “And caffeine.”

“That’s not a meal.” Killian shook his head and climbed from the bed.

She watched him, her gaze riveted to him as he pulled his clothes on. God, he was beautiful. Every inch of him seem sculpted from marble. And yet…he’d been so gentle with her. As if he might break her.

When he caught her looking, he leaned down to press his lips to hers.

Before she could wrap her arms around him and drag him back into the bed, he pulled away.

“I’ll be right back.” He grabbed the door key and slipped his shoes on.

“Bring chocolate,” she called after him.

His lyrical laugh floated back to her as he pulled the door closed behind him.

She sighed and looked down at Zee, grinning. She felt…happy. Twenty-four hours ago, she hadn’t been sure she’d ever feel that way again. Hell, four hours ago, she hadn’t been sure she’d ever feel that way again. Even knowing there were no guarantees and that they both might die, she was happy. Content.

Killian had made love to her. He’d agreed to fight for his life.

It was more than she’d allowed herself to hope for.

Zee pounced on her chest.

Aubrey laughed and scratched his ears.

“We need to get you a bell, Zee,” she said to the kitten before setting him on the bed and standing. The Fallen settlement in Maine was a long way from Wisconsin. Better to have a bell around his neck than to lose him in the wilderness on their way to see the Dominion to plead her case.

Zee turned in a circle on the bed and plopped down to roll around on her pillow.

“You are a hellcat,” she muttered with an amused shake of her head before pulling her clothes on and heading into the bathroom to wash her face.

She groaned at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was a mess. Her eyes were still puffy from all the crying she’d done lately, and her lips were swollen from Killian’s kisses. She pressed her fingers to them as if she could still feel his mouth on hers. In a way, she could. They tingled as if she’d eaten Pop Rocks and they still fizzed on her tongue.

She shook her head at the girlish grin on her face and grabbed a washcloth.

The outer door opened as she dried her face on the towel hanging above the sink. “That was fast. Did the vending machine have my animal crackers?” she called out, tossing her hair up into a quick ponytail.

Zee yowled loudly.

“Killian? Is he okay?”

Killian didn’t answer.

Aubrey frowned and pushed the bathroom door open before stepping out into the room.

Fear shot through her as she took in the scene before her.

Killian wasn’t in the room. But she wasn’t alone, either. Two men stood beside the bed. One was massive, a giant like Killian, only less beautiful. Nephilim, if she had to guess. The other was Elioud or demon. She wasn’t sure.

“Hello, Aubrey,” the Nephilim greeted her, holding Zee up by the scruff of his neck as the kitten clawed and slapped at the air.

The smaller man at his side smiled, baring his fangs.

***

“Come on,” Killian groaned as the vending machine spit his dollar bill out for the fifth time in a row. He’d already used the only other acceptable bill in his possession to get Aubrey’s caffeine. He shoved the useless bill into his pocket and started toward the office, humming to shut out the voices trickling from beneath the doors he passed.

The only sex sounds he cared to hear were Aubrey’s.

The way she’d felt beneath him had been perfect. For the first time since the virus hit, he regretted that he probably wouldn’t survive it. He needed more time with her. He needed more of
her
.

He was halfway to the office when he caught a scent that froze him in his tracks.

There was a Nephilim near. And something else. Vampire? Werewolf?

No.

Demon.

Not one of the half-breeds, but a full-blooded demon. The scent was like sulfur in the back of Killian’s throat, polluted and foul. As if the stench of Hell followed the demon even here. Chills raced up and down Killian’s arms. His heart began to race, pounding like a drum.

And then he remembered.

Aubrey was alone.

He spun on his heel and took off at a run, ducking around a group of humans stumbling toward their rooms with suitcases in their arms. One yelled at him, but he didn’t even slow. Blood rushed in his ears, seeming to pound in time to the fear pulsing in his breast.

Halfway back to Aubrey’s room, a vacant hum began to echo in a familiar way.

An Elioud in wolf form leaped from the shadows of an alcove.

Killian darted to the side, trying to go around him, but he wasn’t fast enough.

The creature’s teeth sank into his arm, ripping through his flesh and into the bone beneath.

A burning pain ran up and down his arm.

Killian didn’t even blink as he jerked free of the shifter and wrapped both arms around its neck, snapping it. He threw the body to the ground and took off again, unconcerned with who saw, desperation to get to Aubrey fueling him.

Thoughts began to trickle toward him from the Halfling, little snippets of displaced conversation, but Killian heard enough to send shards of ice into his heart.

They had Aubrey.

He wanted to rage at that. He’d promised to keep her safe, to protect her.

The door to their room burst open with one well-aimed kick.

Killian lunged inside. His arm burned like fire where the infected shifter had bitten him. He wanted to rage at that too. He’d promised Aubrey to try, and it was too little, too late. In a matter of hours, he’d be infected. In a matter of days—two at most—he would die.

No. Not until Aubrey was safe.

His mind processed the scene quickly.

The demon stood near the window, Zee at his feet. He watched, laughing as the kitten hissed and slapped at the Nephilim holding Aubrey by the throat. If Hell had corrupted the demon’s soul, it’d left the rest of him untouched. Save for the hatred burning in his black eyes, he looked like an ordinary vampire. The Halfling was huge. He towered over Aubrey as she struggled for breath. Pleasure shone in his blue eyes as if he got off on causing her pain.

Aubrey’s eyes were wide and frightened, her skin pale as death.

Killian started toward the giant holding her, murder in his mind.

“You must be the warrior,” the demon said, almost politely.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” The Nephilim’s grip on Aubrey tightened. “I’ll kill her right here.”

Killian stopped instantly.

“What do you want?” he demanded, wanting to scream.

“Her,” the demon said.

“No.”

The demon laughed, the sound grating across Killian’s nerves like the shrill hum of cicada song. “She leaves with us or she dies here. Your choice.”

“Take me instead,” he offered in a desperate bid to free Aubrey.

“You’re of no use to us.” His lip curled up, disgust stamped across his face. He flicked his gaze down to Killian’s bloody arm. “You’ve been infected.”

“No,” Aubrey cried, the sound little more than a strangled rasp. She fought to get free, pushing against the giant holding her.

The cruel bastard tightened his grip.

Killian fought to stay where he was. Everything in him demanded he tear her from the Halfling’s grasp. It killed him that he couldn’t do it. In all of his worries over her safety, he’d never expected that this would be how it ended for them. He’d never let himself believe anyone would get through him to her. Never even guessed one of Lucifer’s servants had crawled out of Hell to find her.

In one careless moment…he’d lost. Everything.

“Let us leave, and she won’t be killed,” the demon said, pushing away from the wall.

Killian heard the lie in his mind. Saw it in the hateful smirk on the Halfling’s face.

She’ll wish she was dead.

He ached to launch himself at the demon. To tear his throat out.

His gaze flickered to Aubrey once more.

She trembled in the outcast’s grasp, drops of moisture shimmering on her lashes. Rage and grief lashed at him when he realized she’d already worked it out for herself. She knew death would be better than what these two had planned for her.

“Please,” she mouthed.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, unable to give her what she asked for. Unable to let them kill her here and now. If he let them take her, there was a chance he could free her. There was also the chance they’d torment her as much as the Nephilim boy had so many years ago.

It killed him that he had to take that chance.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Wise choice,” the demon said as Killian stepped away from the door so they could pass. “Don’t try to follow us.”

Killian’s heart shattered in his chest as the Nephilim dragged Aubrey from the room. He was almost glad the virus would kill him soon because the look in her eyes, the stark terror…that would haunt him until his dying breath.