Stricken (The War Scrolls Book 1) (17 page)

That didn’t mean she could forgive them, either. The last three years of her life, all the guilt and regret and self-loathing…all this time, they’d been keeping secrets from her. Worse, they’d known about
La Morte Nera
and they’d never even tried to stop it. They’d never tried to find her to tell her the truth, or tell the Fallen about the virus and what it could do. Thousands had died because of their silence. Thousands more still could die.

“How could you do this? How could he?” she whispered, her heart physically hurting.

“I’m sorry,” Jason said. “He never meant for it to be released like this. None of us did.”

“Yeah, well, it was.” Aubrey turned away, unable to face any of them any longer. “Take me back to the hotel, Killian,” she whispered, trying hard not to cry.

“Aubrey—”

“Please.” Her gaze met his, pleading. “Please, Killian. Get me out of here.”

Chapter Sixteen

“How is she?” Abriel asked as soon as Killian stepped inside his brothers’ room.

Killian shook his head, not sure how to answer that question. Aubrey hadn’t spoken at all since they’d returned from talking to her friend Jason. Not a single word. She’d sat on the bed, staring at the wall with her hellcat in her lap.

Not even the virus made him feel as helpless as watching her like that did. He was going crazy waiting for her to say anything. Waiting for her to acknowledge him. He felt like a coward for leaving her alone, but he hadn’t been able to sit there feeling helpless any longer. His mate was drowning in grief, and there was nothing he could do to spare her from it.

“Her father really engineered the virus,” Dom said from his sprawl across one of the double beds in their small room.

Killian bit back the urge to curse and settled for slamming the door instead.

It rattled a picture on the wall and shook the lamp on the desk.

Abriel looked up, a sympathetic frown on his face.

“Don’t,” Killian warned before his blade-brother could say anything. “I can control myself.”

Can you?
Abriel sent the question directly into Killian’s mind.

In truth, Killian wanted to rip something apart. Had he known what answers they would find here, he never would have brought Aubrey. He never would have subjected her to any of this. Except, he hadn’t had a choice, had he?

“Do you think the Dominion knew?” Dom asked.

“No.” Had they known about
La Morte Nera
, it never would have been released, if only to save their own skins. Sweet Heaven, how had things gotten so messed up?

Aubrey’s father had created a monster.

“It’s not her fault,” Abriel said.

“I know,” Killian bit out. He didn’t blame Aubrey in the least. He didn’t even blame her father. He understood the man’s desire to protect his people from those so much stronger. What father wouldn’t want to find a way to fight back?

That’s what pissed him off. There was no blame to place here.

Her father had taken a gamble to protect his family, and he’d lost.

Hell, they’d all lost.

“What do we do now?” Dom asked.

“Now?” Killian thought about it a moment. “We track down the Nephilim who stole the virus and find out the truth.”

Dom frowned. “Do you really think they released the virus?”

“Why not?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “They have as much reason to hate the Fallen as the demons. More, perhaps. You know as well as I what happens to most of the Nephilim. The Fallen act like they don’t exist, leaving them to fend for themselves. If they saw a chance to punish us for being dishonorable cowards, why wouldn’t they take it?” Killian might have pledged his life to the Fallen, but he wasn’t blind to their faults. Far from it. He saw firsthand how so many of the Fallen treated the Nephilim. He’d lived with their scorn for two and a quarter centuries, ostracized for being what he was when he’d had no say in the matter. His father had chosen to lie with a human, yet Killian was the one punished for being born.

Our chicks are coming home to roost
,
Abriel mused.

“Exactly,” Killian said.

“But would the Nephilim take it this far?” Abriel arched a brow in question. “You’re talking about carrying out mass genocide.”

“Wouldn’t you take it that far?” Dom asked, glancing between Killian and Abriel. “The Fallen mated with humans and then cast their offspring aside. Like Killian says, they’re punished for simply existing while the Fallen responsible continue on as if they’ve done nothing wrong. Wouldn’t you want revenge if it was you?”

“Had it not been for Caitria, I’d have torn the world apart to make the Fallen suffer,” Killian said. Not just for the way they treated Nephilim like him but for the way they cast aside their human lovers, discarding them as if they were trash. How many human women like his mother had died giving birth to the Nephilim before modern medicine? Hundreds? More?

The Fallen could have put a stop to that, but they’d turned their backs. People like Killian’s mother had died while the Fallen cowered behind their walls and pretended innocence, too ashamed to face their mistakes. And then they refused to accept their orphaned children. And people like Aubrey continued to pay the price for that. Over and over and over they paid. The Fallen were deeply flawed and self-serving. Was it any wonder God had ripped their wings from their bodies and cast them from Heaven?

I wish she wasn’t human.

“Yeah, well, she is,” Killian muttered, knowing Dom hadn’t meant to share the thought, but he was unable to stop himself from responding to it anyway.

“I know,” Dom said, holding up his hands. “I only meant…it sucks. The Dominion will never accept her, but you’ve bonded with her. That’s not right.”

“It is what it is.”

She couldn’t be part of his world, especially not now that the truth was out, but even knowing he couldn’t keep her…he didn’t regret having met her. She completed him in a way he’d never been complete before. With her, he wasn’t a Halfling, but a man. If that was as close to Heaven as he was allowed to come, it’d be enough. It was more than he’d ever had and was more than he’d ever expected to find.

“So we’re looking for the Nephilim,” Abriel said, louder than necessary.
I’m sorry, Killian. I truly am
,
he thought, and Killian knew his blade-brother had heard more than he’d intended to share. “We’ll need help rounding them up.”

“I guess that means we’re going home.” The bed creaked beneath Dom’s weight as he rose.

“Looks like,” Killian agreed. “You’ll need Caitria’s records. And Coriel, Amiel, and whatever’s left of the guard.”

“Don’t you mean
we
?” Abriel asked.

“I’m not taking Aubrey before the Dominion.”

“You know I have to tell them about her father,” Abriel said. “It’ll be easier on her if you take her in to face them now.”

“No,” Killian said emphatically. “They don’t get her. They don’t get to punish her for something that is entirely their own faults. We’ve been doing their dirty work for the last four months while they hide behind their walls. They owe us this much.”

“Damn straight,” Dom said, flexing his muscles like a prizefighter.

“I don’t like it, either,” Abriel said, “but they have to know the truth. Knowing where it came from may help our Healers find a way to stop it.”

“I know, but that doesn’t change anything. They don’t get to blame someone else this time. This is their mess, not hers. She isn’t going to pay for their sins.” So far as Killian was concerned, that was final. He would not allow her to be harmed, not even if refusing to hand her over meant breaking from the Fallen once and for all.

“Fine.” Abriel bowed his head, giving in. “I’ll take the computers from the lab. Maybe that will hold them off. Give you time to get her to safety.”

“Is there a safe place for her? Or for any of us?” Dom asked. “If you’re right and the Nephilim are behind this, I doubt they’re alone. Vampires and the Elioud are trying to chase Aubrey down, and I doubt it’s to have a polite chat. You said her friend blamed the Fallen for what’s happening now. How many more agree with them?”

“They’re organizing against the Fallen,” Killian said.

“Why now? Why like this? There were far safer ways to destroy the Fallen than to risk their own lives by unleashing
La Morte Nera
.”

“Why not?” Abriel shrugged when Dom looked at him. “The Fallen have made enemies of most of our kin. Those who don’t hate us fear us. Perhaps they didn’t know exactly what they were unleashing or how much damage it would do.”

“Or they knew exactly what they were unleashing and did so anyway,” Killian murmured. “The Dominion doesn’t suspect the Nephilim, vampires, or the Elioud in this attack. Why would they when the Fallen-kin are dying in droves too?”

“Then why are they wasting time chasing after Aubrey?” Dom asked. “She’s no threat to any of them.”

“Isn’t she?” Killian said. “If they are organizing to go to war with the Fallen, the last thing they’d want is for the Dominion to get their hands on her. Her father created the virus. They can’t be sure how much she knows about the virus or who took it.”

“She’s a loose end,” Abriel agreed “One they can’t be sure won’t unravel all of their plans.”

“One they won’t get to tie up,” Killian vowed, meaning it with every fiber of his being. He didn’t care why the Nephilim were organizing the Fallen-kin for war. He didn’t care if the Fallen had made their bed. All he cared about was ensuring Aubrey didn’t get caught in the middle.

“We’ll find a way to keep her safe,” Dom said, his eyes gleaming with promise.

“We have to,” Killian whispered.

***

Killian stood outside Aubrey’s room, his hand on the doorknob as he listened to her shuffling around inside. Her emotions were all over the place, and he had no clue what to expect from her when he went inside, but at least she was up moving around. That had to count for something.

He just wasn’t sure what.

He opened the door slowly.

There were no lights on in the room, but his eyes picked her out immediately. She stood at the foot of the bed with Zee in her arms. The kitten turned his furry head in Killian’s direction and mewled.

Killian shut the door. “Aubrey?”

She turned to face him, the stark hopelessness on her face searing into him. “When I ran to you the night the shifters were chasing me, I thought you were going to kill me.”

He flipped the light on and started toward her, the tremble in her voice physically hurting him.

“Aaron always said the Fallen couldn’t be trusted if it came right down to it,” she continued. Her expression was stricken, haunted. “Part of me believed that. When I woke up in your room and you promised to help me, I knew you might kill me if you ever believed I was a threat to your people.” Her eyes met his, wide and full of remorse. “I never thought I’d give you a reason to do it,” she whispered.

“Aubrey…”

“I’m sorry, Killian. This is my fault. All of it. Your friends are dying because of my family.
You
might die because of us.” Her voice broke at the end. “I’m so sorry.”

“Stop it,” he whispered, reaching out to pluck Zee from her arms. He let the kitten go and put his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. “This isn’t your fault, Aubrey. None of it is, and
no one
is going to kill you.”

“It is,” she whispered, tears slipping down her cheeks. “He wanted a weapon against the Fallen, against your people because of me and Aaron. And now…now everyone is dying. I don’t want you to die, Killian.”

Killian’s heart shattered at the broken way she said his name. He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tightly to his chest. “Aubrey, love,” he whispered into her hair, inhaling her scent. It washed through him, breaking loose something in his chest.

A sob escaped her lips as she buried her face in his shirt, clinging to him. “I’m so sorry.”

“Shh,” he soothed, rocking her in his arms as she sobbed into his chest, her body shaking with the force of her grief. “It’s not your fault. He wanted to protect you. No one blames you for that.” Killian didn’t know what to say to ease her, not after the day she’d had. Not after everything she’d been through, not just lately but in the last three years. Her entire world kept unraveling, and there was nothing he could do to put it back together or make it hurt less for her.

If he could, he would have. He’d have gone back and kept the Halfling from ever finding her. Kept her from ever finding out about the virus or the role her father had played in bringing it to life. Even if it meant he would never have met her, would never have known what it felt like to find that missing half of himself…he would have done it. Anything to keep her from hurting like this.

He rained kisses across her crown, murmuring praises to her as she wept. He didn’t even know if she heard him, but he said them anyway. How beautiful she was. How alive she made him feel. How good she was and how much happiness she deserved. All of it was true even if she couldn’t believe it right then.

Eventually, her cries slowed, and her body stopped shaking. He didn’t let her go, though. He held her as tightly as he dared, taking comfort from her as much as giving it. He knew he might never get to hold her again.

That was a painful thought when all he wanted to do was keep her in his arms.

Far too soon, she pulled away. Her eyes were red and swollen. Her face was puffy and streaked with tears. She was still the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“What…what happens now?” she whispered.

Killian leaned his forehead against hers. “Whatever you want, Aubrey.” he whispered back.