Still Falling (18 page)

“Do you want me to come in with you?”

“No, it’s alright.
 
I’ll manage.”

Jo squeezed Serena’s hand and smiled
reassuringly as the receptionist called Serena through.

Doctor Robinson greeted her warmly and
offered her a seat.

“Well, before you say anything Serena,
can I just tell you that you are still too skinny and not eating enough, but
still managing to look as beautiful as ever?” He sat back in his own chair and
gazed at her over the top of his very modern glasses.

Normally she would have had a tart
comeback for her doctor, but not today.
 
She just gave him a tight smile and sat down.

He looked at her thoughtfully across is
desk.

“My dear, at some point you will need to
tell me why you have come to see me, if it is not for my generous and I might
add expensive compliments.”

“I err yes.
 
Sorry
..
I have been
feeling nauseous for a few weeks.”

He looked at her solemnly.
 
“A few weeks and you only come to see me
now?
 
Any other
symptoms?”

“Probably not related but I have been
moody.”

“I see.
 
Would you mind hopping onto the examining table for me to examine your
abdomen?”

Serena slipped her shoes off and lay
down.

As he lifted her sweater to just above
her bottom ribs and pulled the elastic waist of her borrowed skirt for better
access, he looked at her face over the top of his glasses.
 
“I hope Mr. Spinozzi is not here.
 
If he sees me doing this he might get
violent.”
  
The concern in his voice
didn’t reach his eyes and she knew his was teasing.
  
Serena blushed but said nothing, not sure
how to react.
 
He squirted some cold
clear gel across the lower half of her belly.
 

“Sorry.
 
I forget the gel is cold sometimes.”
 

He then pulled a small trolley closer to
the examining table and pushed a few buttons on a small box the size of a
telephone.
 
Lifting a small, smooth probe
he pressed it firmly on Serena’s belly.
 
Confused she looked around for the screen.
 

“Are you giving me a scan?”

“Yes.
 
But not the type you think.
 
Now
lie still and relax.”

He noted Serena’s confusion.
 

“I’m not looking for something Serena,
I’m listening for something.” He said kindly.

Lying still now they both listened to
the odd noises of her stomach amplified through speakers.
 
He moved the probe a little more and suddenly
a new sound was heard and the doctor paused, listening intently.

“Mmmm
..
Just as I suspected.”

It sounded just like her heart but
perhaps a little too fast.

“You suspected my heart has moved to my
stomach?”

The Doctor smiled and gave her a hand
full of paper towels to clean off the Gel while he busied himself putting the
equipment away.
 
Only when she had sat
back down at the desk did he start to talk again.

“Firstly Serena, I want you to eat.
 
Don’t worry about the nausea.
 
I can give you something to help with
that.
 
It is very important that you
eat.
 
Four small, healthy meals a day and
snack on fruit in between meals.
 
Secondly, I want you to get a minimum of eight hours sleep a day and if
your body tells you to take more, listen to it!”

“But what is it?
 
Do you think the cancer is back?”
 
She looked at him fearfully.

“Serena, we won’t know for a few months
yet if it will come back or not.
 
Considering it was clear after your last dose of chemo and the chemo has
only just recently cleared your system, I can assure you that as we speak,
there is no cancer there.”

“Well something is wrong.
 
A bug, a parasite?”

Dr. Robinson smiled gently at the last
remark.
 

“You could say that.
 
Yes Parasite could be an accurate
description.
 
Serena, you are pregnant.”

What
the fuck!

Her mouth dropped, her eyes widened and
Serena went very cold.
 

“You mean that noise we heard...” her
voice trailed off weakly.

“That was your baby’s heart beat.”

He leaned forward.
 
She wasn’t taking this very well.

“Serena did you come alone?”

“No my friend Jo is in the waiting
room.”

“Do you want me to call Jo?”

“Yes please she said feebly.”

The doctor nodded and went in search of
Jo.
 

By the time he returned with a very
worried Jo in tow, the flood gates had opened.

Gabrielle had her own worries.
 
Labour had started an hour ago and her Boss
was being a complete arsehole.

“Marco I’m going home!”

“Not until those press releases are
done.” He growled.

“Marco I’m going home!
  
Now!”
 
She stood her ground.

Until now Marco hadn’t even bothered to
look at her.
 
He had been content (if it
were possible to label anything about him as content) to yell orders over the
top of whatever drawing, fabric or report he had in his hands at the time.

He put the fabric sample book he had
been leafing through, down on his desk.

“Okay, you have my attention.”

“Marco, I wasn’t trying to get your
attention.
 
I’m serious.
 
I’m going home.
 
It’s time.”
 
She pushed her swollen belly forward and rubbed it with both hands.

“Oh.
 
Shit, Sorry Gabby.”
 
He ran the
fingers of both hands through his hair.
 
“Do you need a ride?
 
Will you be
okay?” he said with concern.

She almost wanted to laugh.
 
He looked like a lost child in a supermarket
in comparison to his early overbearing beastliness.

“No, my husband has been waiting down
stairs for the last hour.”

“I hope it goes well for you.
 
I mean it.
 
I’m sorry I’ve been such a....
”
 
he
struggled for the word.

“Arse, jackass, prick,
wanker?”
 
She smiled at him
now.
 
This was the most civil he had been
in weeks.
 
She had been worried that this
would happen when Marco spent the night with Serena at the Hyatt in Milan.
 
It was just the same as when Serena had run
from Spinozzi and moved to Milan.

“I suppose all of the above.”
 
He groaned.
 
“You better go before you have the baby in my office.”

Marco phoned down to HR and arranged for
a temp to pick up Gabrielle’s work load.
 

He left his chair and wondered over to
the window to gaze at the hills rising above the city.
 
He was glad his father had decided to keep
the base for his company in Napoli instead of
setting up in the fashion district of Milan.
 
One of the advantages was been able to stay close to home.
 
The other was that it was easier to keep
their designs a secret before the bi-annual fashion week.
 
Marco couldn’t avoid Milan completely though.
 
It was where the buyers and suppliers and
myriad of other channels that linked his business to the outside world were
based.
 
He tried not to think about his
last trip to Milan.
 
Could it have gone any worse?
 

He had another trip scheduled in a few
weeks.
 
He was sorely tempted to try a
different hotel.
 
He didn’t think he
could ever feel properly relaxed at the Hyatt again.
 
Maybe he would just try and get as much
packed into the day as possible and fly back the same night.

That
might be wiser.
 
No hotel rooms.

He had made a concerted effort to avoid
any reminders of Serena as possible.
 
He
stopped going to the Bistro.
 
He avoided
the private beach.
 
He had even started
avoiding his housekeeper, preferring to leave notes on the kitchen counter for
her.
 
He even avoided his bed if he was
restless, choosing to rather just doze in the living room.
 
He still remembered her lying on his pillow,
looking pale and vulnerable.

His office suddenly felt too quiet and
lonely.
 
Feeling restless and irritable
he marched off to whip the staff into order.

Serena and Jo took an early morning flight to Napoli.
 
It was
Sunday and Jo was desperate to see her nephew.
 
She felt that Serena would probably be better off having a change of
scenery, than sitting in her lonely flat, alone with her thoughts.
 
Secretly Serena was grateful.
 
Jo had even arranged for Tony to pick up
Serena’s mother so they could all have lunch together at the Bistro.
   

They pulled into the parking lot at the same
time as Tony and her Mother.
 
Serena,
held the door for her mother as she climbed out of
the car, her eyes brimming with tears.

“Mama, I miss you and home and everything so
much!”
 
Her mother pulled her into her
ample arms and held her for a long time.

“Child, love will do that to you.
 
I know how it goes.”

Serena pulled back and wiped her eyes.

“Will it always hurt so
bad
?”

“No.” Her mother replied thoughtfully.
 
“It can........but it doesn’t have to.
 
Why don’t we go and have some lunch and then
afterwards you and I can take a walk through the village and you can tell me
all about it.”

“Little Micky nearly bowled her off her feet as
they walked into the Courtyard.
 
Tony and
Jo had gone ahead, giving Serena and her mother a few moments of privacy in the
car park.
 
They were now teasing Nico
about a waitress he was thinking of hiring, insinuating that there might be
more to her job description than waitressing.
 
Both boys now surrounded Serena, giving away lots of hugs and kisses and
making lots of fuss.

Perhaps
this is what I’m missing.
 
Why haven’t I
noticed Nico before?
 
He is attractive,
very funny, single.....Because you are not house wife material stupid.
 
You know this!

The afternoon lunch was great as always, made
even better by the company.
 
All too
soon, her mother was pressurising her to take that walk, leaving Jo to spend
some quality time with her family.
 
As
they wondered along a narrow and sometimes steep road which had been squeezed
between the ancient buildings, Serena poured her heart out.
 
It felt good to have it out there.
 
She didn’t care at this point what judgements
would be made about her.
 
She just wanted
to get it all out.
 
As she had started
talking it became easier and easier.
 
Her
mother said nothing until she was sure her daughter had finished talking.

“Serena, most of what you have told me, I
already
know
.”

“You do?”

“Of course!
 
I am your mother.
 
I am also his house keeper.”
 
She shook her head quizzically, amazed Serena
hadn’t realised this before.

“When Jo told me about your moods and not eating
and generally behaving strangely, I noticed the very same behaviour from Marco.
 
It started with both of you straight after
his last trip to Milan.”

“Really?
 
Marco has been acting strange?”

Her mother nodded her head.

“I also know you have had a crush on him since
you were five years old and his adoration for you was obvious growing up.”

Serena objected.
 
“He was just being kind.
 
He has
never liked me.
 
This I am sure of!”

“If you say so!” shrugged her mother.
 
“Serena.
 
I have never interfered with your choices or your love life.
 
I once told you not to move to Milan because I felt you
were going for the wrong reasons.
 
My
opinion on that has not changed.
 
But it
has always been your life and your choices.
 
Your father would have wanted the same.”
 
See turned to face her daughter now.
 
“But Serena, for your own sake and that of your child I have to ask you
to step back and take stock of your life.
 
I need you to make sure that you are making your choices for the right
reasons.”