Spitfire (Puffin Cove) (29 page)

Chapter Twenty-Two

"
Honey, tell me what's wrong," she crooned to her daughter.

Iris
was pole-axed last night when they got the call to come and get Laura from the airport. She and Dan drove straight there, no questions asked. Laura was almost mute, her expression blank and haunted, and would only give them a little shake of her head when they asked if she was ill. Once they had determined that she was intact, at least physically, they let her have some breathing room. Laura had begged them to please leave it until tomorrow, after she had had some sleep.

She
had walked woodenly to her old room, her little chihuahua skittering along beside her. After thanking them for coming to get her, she closed her door. But this morning, Iris wanted answers. She figured she had a pretty good idea what was going on.

Heartbreak was written all over her daughter.

It was reminiscent of all those years ago when Joel had left her. Time may have blunted the sharpness of Iris's memory, but this looked even worse. Much worse. Back then, Laura had screamed and cried and swore. Now she just sat at the kitchen table, staring at her tea growing cold.

Iris
lifted Laura's chin and searched her eyes. "Tell me why you've come home, sweetheart."

Laura
's lips trembled, and her dry, troubled eyes filled. A low, keening sob struggled up from a throat thickly clogged with tears, and her daughter's shoulders shook as she held her.

Dammit
!
Why did her intelligent, loving daughter have to pick another loser? Iris looked helplessly across the kitchen at her husband, who shrugged an
I don't know
back to his wife. They let their girl sob her heart out, and waited.

Kyle
and Kevin came blasting through the door. Iris felt it best last night to let them know that their mother was here, and that she was okay. She asked them to give her the night to rest. But now they were here, Iris's eyes flew to them, and her hurting heart hurt all the more as their love and concern filled the room. Kyle took one look at his mother and clenched his jaw. Ruddy colour suffused his face, and his fists bunched at his sides. Kevin's reaction was less violent, but no less distressing. He looked at his mother, her face swollen and blotchy, and he slumped his shoulders with a look of defeated helplessness.

Iris
's eyes solemnly followed as both of Laura's boys come to her sides, Kyle putting a hand on her hitching shoulder, Kevin kneeling down to look up into her eyes.

A
nger snaked through her that her daughter was, albeit unintentionally, causing her boys pain. But she could see that Laura knew it, and was sorry for it. Their presence brought on another bout of weeping, then she watched with a return of her pride, as her daughter straightened her spine, dried her eyes, and drew strength from their nearness, their love.

"
It's not his fault," Laura slid her eyes to Kevin's distressed face, squeezed a trembling hand on his shoulder, then shifted to look at her older son's stony countenance. Her hand caressed his cheek, then dropped back to her lap. "Honey, it's me. It's not his fault." The boys remained immobile, unspeaking, and clearly unconvinced.

"
Well, what happened?" Iris asked.

S
he and Dan knew that Laura had been seeing a man, and that their grandsons had said that he was a good one. So, what had gone wrong? She didn't need the details. She just wanted to know how she could help her get through this. And, for heaven's sake, Laura was a grown woman. Heartbreak happened. People survived.

"
He…I…God." Laura scrubbed a hand over her face. "I love Kane. I love him so m-much. But I love him enough to let him g-go," she hiccupped.

"
Go where?" Kyle demanded. "Did he dump you?" When Laura's lips trembled but didn't form words, he whirled from her, and paced the room, clenching his fists. Anger and frustration vibrated from him.

"Honey
. Stop. Don't be angry with Kane. I guess I sort of dumped him." Laura looked around at the rest of her family, all eyes on her, then dropped her gaze back to rest unfocused on her cold tea.

Her gravelly voice was the only sound in the room
, save the ticking of the clock. "He said that I'm enough for him…but he had a daughter…and she died. He's so g-good with children, and I can't stand in the way of him having a f-f-amily again. So I l-left."

Iris
scanned the three other pairs of eyes in the room, and they all looked as confused as she felt. Then her husband weighed in.

"
But if he said it's enough, then who are you to tell him it's not?" Dan asked softly. Their marriage hadn't always been perfect. What marriage was? Dan was her partner, her friend, her soul mate. The piece of the puzzle that completed her life. Iris knew that if she couldn't have had children, he wouldn't have loved her any less. Didn't their daughter know that? See that?

"
Oh, Dad," Laura smiled brokenly at him. "You'd have to see K-Kane with children to know. He's wonderful with them. And he adores them. And his daughter d-died when she was only six. He needs to have a chance to have that again."

"
Laura. You can't dictate what someone else wants and feels," he admonished quietly.

"
I know it, Dad. Really I do. But it's in here." She placed a hand over her heart. "It just is, and I can't get past it."

Iris
felt relief wash over her, and Kevin's face registered the same emotion. Her daughter, his mother, was going to be okay. She was a mush pot, and she had screwed this up, but she was going to get through it. And they didn't think they had heard the last of Kane.

Iris
checked Kyle's face. That boy was so much like his mother. Wore his heart, his intensity, on his sleeve. His eyes still bore worry, but at least he had stopped looking like he was about to put a fist through her kitchen wall.

Dan
leaned on the door jamb, arms crossed over his chest. Oh, he was angry with his daughter. She sat there, sobbing her heart out over something that was completely her own fault. She had moved on to a new life, begun to build one that made her very happy, then had thrown it all away over some foolish notion. He grunted and turned on his heel. Stupid child. He was going flying.

"
Laura, come with me."

He didn
't say anything until the Piper Cub had cleared its flight path, taxied down the runway, and lifted off. He squelched the radio, levelled off the ailerons, and set their cruising speed.

Laura
had followed him blindly, a sheep to her shepherd. She hadn't been flying with him in years, and it felt good to have her back with him, even if she was an emotional mess. He gave himself a small smile, thinking of his grandsons' disappointment that they weren't invited. "Stay and help your Nana make supper. If you stick around 'til tomorrow I'll take you to Ottawa for breakfast," he had told them at the kitchen door and ruffled their hair.

He
had no idea how many ridiculously expensive 'breakfasts' he had shared with his children and grandchildren over the years. He was too afraid to keep an accounting of them. Iris would have had his hide. But he never regretted a single one. They had always been special times of bonding for him with Laura and Colin, then Kyle and Kevin and Colin's kids.

His daughter at his side, her trust in him implicit, his hands controlled the Piper Cub's instruments.
The autumn colours were just beginning to emerge, and they watched as the city disappeared behind them, the orange greens of trees and blue blacks of water coming into view. Her voice crackled through their connected head sets.

"
Thanks for taking me up, Dad. It's been a long time." She smiled across to him, a curt nod his only acknowledgement.

He moved his eyes back to the instruments and windscreen, but saw her frown in his peripheral vision
. He had never been a loquacious man, but even for him, he was being awfully quiet. The words he needed to tell her were forming on his tongue.

"
Dad, are you upset with me?"

"
Yes, Laura. I am."

He saw her throat move
convulsively before she spoke again. "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sure you weren't expecting your middle-aged daughter to plop back into your kitchen with a broken heart."

"
Honey, you know I love you. And your mom and I would do anything for you. But it sounds to me like you had a real chance at happiness, and you've messed it up."

He left it hang there, his opinion
. She didn't know it, but he had been keeping track. He had read and re-read all her emails, both to him and her mother, and the ones that the boys had shown him. He looked at all the pictures she had sent. He read the joy between every line and pixel. And she had run away from it.

"
Laura, are you afraid to be happy?"

He did look at her then, a sad smile on his face
. How had she come to this? All of her life she had looked out for everyone else's happiness but her own. And when she finally decided to find it, well, all that damned analyzing and speculating...it had to stop. He heard her sob crackle over the headset and placed a hand on her knee, squeezing.

"
God, Dad. I don't know."

"
Well, honey. I think you just hit the nail on the head. Maybe it's time you gave it up to God. Pray. Ask Him to show you the way. He's never wrong, you know."

He smiled and squeezed her knee again, and she wobbled him a watery smile
back. She gazed out the window at the pure blue sky, and he hoped that she realized that maybe her old dad had some wisdom after all. He watched her shoulders relax, and her eyes drift shut.

When they taxied back to the hangar, Laura took a deep breath. She hadn't come any closer to knowing what to do, but she felt a sense of peace steal through her. Her wonderful, knowing father had put her back in touch with her wonderful, knowing Father. It gave her strength to admit to herself that she didn't have to face her fears alone, that she could rely on her dad, her mom, her boys, and on Him.

She climbed out of the plane and a wave
of dizziness swept over her. Her dad caught her before she crumpled to the concrete.

"
You okay, honey?" His worried frown searched her pale face.

"
Just a bit dizzy. You know I hate the landing part. I guess the adrenalin just left me." She squeezed his arm and felt her land legs come back under her.

***

"So are you staying?" Kyle asked. Blunt and to the point.

"
For now, I guess. I'll have to figure out what to do. I've got my house there, my car is at the airport. Hopefully Jill found my note to look after Lucy."

The five
of them sat around the kitchen table, finishing supper.

"
You need to talk to Kane," Kevin said.

"
Oh, honey. I can't just now. My feelings haven't changed, and I know he'll just be really, really angry with me. Poppa's right. It was wrong of me to think I knew what he needed in his life, but I still feel it. It would always be between us."

"
Geez. Relationships are friggin' complicated. I don't think I want one."

She chuckled weakly
. "Oh, you will. When you're ready. And even if you're not. Sometimes they just happen. One day you'll fall in love, and it might hurt. But it's also one of the best feelings in the world." She put her hand over his. "Kevin, don't hold yourself back from love, when the time comes. You either, Kyle." Her other hand caressed his cheek. "Just because your dad and I couldn't make it work, and now I have this…thing with Kane…I mean, look at Nana and Poppa." The three offspring absorbed the love that was evident between the two at the end of the table, Dan's arm around Iris, her head on his shoulder. "One day I hope we all can have what they have."

Dan
's eyes crinkled at the corners and Iris's glistened with tears as they looked at their daughter and grandsons, and he snuggled her closer.

Laura
smiled, her heart swelling with love and gratitude for her family, and rose to start clearing dishes. Her vision swam and she gripped the back of the chair for a moment.

When her vision cleared, her mother's eyes were narrowed on her
. "Laura, are you feeling alright?"

"
Still a little wobbly, I guess. Too much emotion." She waved a dismissive hand, and began to tidy the kitchen. She shooed her parents into the living room and she and her sons did the dishes. She loved, and felt loved, being here with her sons at her shoulders, her parents steadfast and near.

But her heart was still in Newfoundland.

***

"
Laura, are you up?" her mother whispered.

Laura
sat in bed, the laptop's screen eerily lighting her face, the sun just beginning to filter through the curtains at the window. She sent off an email to Jill, explaining where she was, and why. She knew that Jill would be furious with her, but that she would know, if not understand, the insanity that brought her away from her life in Puffin Cove. Lola was curled into a ball beside her, and the little dog perked up her ears at the soft knock on the door.