Spitfire (Puffin Cove) (28 page)

"
Beautiful," he whispered.

Their release
built slowly this time, a thickening and deepening, a richness of pulsating feeling that took them up higher with each thrust, up, up, until they stilled at a peak, then tumbled over with a soft cry and groan, to settle back together, hip to hip, chest to chest, lips to lips.

Their ride back to Arthur's farm was slow and sweet, Kane's bigger horse holding them both, her smaller one trailing by its lead. He held her before him, nuzzling her neck, caressing her breasts, whispering his love.

He curried the horses while she watched, and she snuggled into the crook of his arm while he drove them back to his farm.

Laura needed to get back to her house, but Kane wouldn't let her go home alone. He gingerly backed her car off the ramp to the hay mow, where she'd crazily parked when she had come to him, sobbing, hours before. Then, with a look of mild trepidation from him, and a sheepish giggle from her, she got back behind the wheel. He followed her closely to her house in his truck.

It wasn
't so bad with Kane there. He made it easier to come back to the house, empty but for Lola and the cat. She choked back a small sob when she remembered that Kyle had christened her Lucy. When she had laughed and asked him why he picked that name, he had just shrugged and said, "That's her name."

***

They settled into a pattern of non-conformity. Some days she spent hours with Jill and Shannon, others with Kane at the farm. Several nights would go by with her bed empty, then several more with it filled by two. It was rare that they didn't spend the night together.

She finally went back to pick up her desk and weather vane
. The desk merely needed polishing, and she parked her lap top at it and emailed Kyle and Kevin regularly. They were back into the swing of school, and her heartache had dulled to a sweet twinge.

On a day that gave them a break from the rains of early September, she oiled up the weather vane and Kane scaled the roof to attach it for her
, while she stood at the bottom of the ladder, terrified, until he had climbed back down safely.

They soaked in her big iron tub that night, having had
Jill and Shannon over to supper earlier. Laura bit hard on the bullet she had been rolling around in her mouth for months.

"
Kane?"

"
Hmm?" They lay amongst the fragrant froth, her back to his front, as he lazily traced bubbles over, under and around her nipples.

"
Do you think you'd ever want to have a baby?"

His hand stilled
. He craned his head around to face her, and startled, wary eyes looked into squinted, tentative ones.

"I thought
ye couldn't have any more."

She winced
. "I mean, would you want another if you could."

"
I had Claire. I lost her. 'Twas what God intended."

In for a penny,
Laura rushed headlong into it. "I know, sweetheart. But you're so good with children. I can see how much you love Shannon. And you must have been a wonderful father to Claire. I think you'd be a wonderful father again."

"
Fer the love o' God, Laura. I'm almost thirty-eight years old. And besides, ye said ye couldn't have more. So that's the way of it, end o' story."

And here
's where it's going to get really dicey, Spencer.

In for a pound…

"Yes, but age isn't that important for a man. So, what if I wasn't around? What if you met someone who could, then you could marry her and have babies."

He
jerked his body upright and away from her, and sloshed out of the tub, yanking a towel around his hips.

Irate, eyes stormy, he spit the words at her
. "Alright! Enough o' this shite. I'll not be a party t' this ridiculous conversation." He paused a beat, and his eyes darkened even further. "Are ye sayin' ye don't want me with ye any more, Laura?"

"
God. No. I'm sorry, my love. I'm going about this all the wrong way. It's just that I love you so much, and I'd do anything for you. Even if it meant letting you go so you could have a family."

She looked up at his softening face
from her exposed position in the tub, her knees drawn up to her chest, arms hugging tight, eyes shimmering with tears. He knelt down and rested his forearms on the edge of the tub, and pierced her with the intensity of the emotion in his eyes. "Laura. I love ye. Ye're all the family I'll ever need. And if ye'll let me, I'll share yer sons with ye when they're here. Please, get this ridiculous notion outta that head o' yers. I don't care fer it."

Well, she
'd accomplished nothing but to upset him. And still, the thought wouldn't leave go.

***

Laura went to Jill's to help her get Shannon ready for school. Shannon was vibrating, she was that excited. Laura suspected that Jill just wanted her there for distraction and moral support. She could tell that Jill was excited, too. She told Laura that it would be the first time since the day Shannon was born that she wasn't with her mother or her grandparents, and was giddy with the thought of all the things she could do while Shannon was safely at school.

Then she burst into tears
. Laura remembered feeling the same mess of emotions when first Kyle, then Kevin went off to school. But for Jill it was that different, because Shannon's daddy was dead and it had always, only been Jill. She didn't have a husband, or her daughter a father, to share this exhilarating, heartbreaking milestone with.

Laura
leant her moral support, advice, and her shoulder. She played in the yard with Shannon while Jill finished the hem on the new dress. When they came back in they found Jill sitting at the sewing machine, crying.

"
Momma, don't be sad. I'm only goin' to school. I'm not gonna die like Daddy."

Jill
bawled harder, then Shannon started to cry. Laura passed out the tissues.

"
I'm not goin'. I'm stayin' home with you, Momma."

"
Oh, no, baby girl. I'm just gonna miss you is all. And you'll be home before I know it." She gathered her daughter into her arms and wiped both their tears with a tissue.

"
An' I'll be back to drive you right round the bend," she nodded.

Lord,
Laura thought. That girl was going to be the grim death of her mother. Jill had called Shannon's teacher last week to warn her of her daughter's mature sense of humour. She and Laura had a bet on how long it would take before she got ousted from kindergarten.

They bathed
Shannon and Laura took her to tuck into bed.

"
Auntie Laura, when I marry Kyle are you gonna be my gramma?"

Laura
chuckled and snuggled her. "No, poppet. I'd be your mother-in-law."

Shannon
gasped. "That's a quarter!"

Laura
arched an eyebrow at her. "Why's that?"

"
Cuz Grampa says mother-in-law is a swear."

"
No, it's not!" she laughed. "You can't believe everything Grampa says."

"
Are you gonna marry Uncle Kane?" she asked, the innocence of a child shining in her eyes.

"
I don't know, sweetie. Maybe."

Maybe
.

"
Now what story should we read?" Laura read Shannon four stories before the child finally succumbed to sleep. When she turned off the light and crept out of the room Jill was waiting for her.

"
Well, are ya?"

Laura
didn't pretend not to know what Jill was talking about.

"
I don't know. We haven't talked about it. Besides, I still don't think I'm the right one for him."

"
Jesus in yer head! You're not still on about that! He's wild for you!"

"
I know….but...Jill, he should have babies."

"
Have you talked to him about it?"

"
Yeah."

"
And?"

"
Didn't go well. Pissed him off. He told me to cut it out and not think about it anymore."

"
Then do it. If he loves you, and says he doesn't care about having or not having kids, just leave it at that and get on with your lives."

"
I know. You're right. He's right. I'm trying. Really I am."

"
Good. Now shut yer gob and have your tea."

Chapter Twenty-One

Kane had a big change in his exhibit at The Rooms, moving some of the pieces from his gallery downtown up the hill to the museum, and bringing new pieces into the gallery from home
. He had a lot to finish before the changes were done. He would be glad when his year at The Rooms was up, truthfully. He looked forward to relinquishing that particular honour and responsibility to the next up-and-comer.

In the mean time, he still had his duties as artist-in-residence to attend to
. And his favourite was the children's classes he taught. He had a full week preparing at home, then three full days between his gallery and the museum. He didn't see much of Laura in those days. They stole a few nights together, but she made him sleep alone most of the time, convinced that he would get more sleep without her distracting him from it in his bed. He fought tooth and nail, trying every tactic to keep her at his side, but she was resolute.

In the end, he didn
't sleep as well as she had thought he would. He had become accustomed to drifting to sleep with his Laura in his arms, and he would lay awake in the dark, imagining her five minutes away, curled in her bed by the sea, where he was sure she was thinking of him too.

If thoughts were birds, there
would have been a flock flying between Kane's farm and Laura's house by the sea on those nights.

Laura's arms ached when Kane wasn't in them. She drove down to St. John's on the day before his last class, having taken special care with her hair and make-up and dress. She twirled in front of her mirror, pleased with the results. She planned to show up at the end of his class, knock his socks off, take him out for a special dinner, then take him home to knock all the rest of his clothes off. She smiled softly and hugged her arms tight to her chest as her heart fluttered under her breast. She had very nearly buried her Kane-needs-to-be-a-daddy obsession. Just about. Almost.

She stood in the back, watching
. She didn't want to distract him, and she wanted to watch him as long as she could, unbeknownst. The dorky, dreamy smile on her face would be a dead give away, should anyone take more than a second to look at her. She was knockdown, drag out, ass over tea kettle in love with him.

He wore black trouser
s and a sky blue linen shirt, sleeves rolled up to reveal muscled, hair-dusted forearms. He sat on his haunches beside a miniature table and chairs. Four sets of engaged eyes watched as he patiently showed a little dark-haired child how to add strokes of colour to the small wooden bird he had carved. He had fashioned dozens of them over the past weeks for his classes. Small, crude for his standards, but birds that showed his unmistakable flair. They were all in various stages of colourful plumage from the brushes of the children. Laura watched his eyes crinkle and his hands guide as he shared this perceptibly special time with them. He rose and moved to the next table, his movements fluid and comfortable. Laura's eyes followed him, her heart so full she could barely find room to breathe.

"
He's great, isn't he?" A woman standing beside her spoke in hushed tones.

"
Y…" Laura cleared her throat quietly. "Yes, he is."

She looked at the lady
. A young blonde, beautiful and classy, who bore the same dreamy look that Laura felt sure rode on her own features. A flash of possessive jealousy shot through her. "Do you have a child in his class?" she murmured quietly.

"
No," the young woman chuckled. "My nephew. I have to wrestle and hog-tie my sister to let me bring Aiden to the classes. We've been coming all week, and if I can't get Kane to ask me out after class today I'm just going to have to ask him myself." She smiled softly at Laura.

It was on the tip of her tongue to tell her not to bother, he was taken
. But then a feeling so dark and painful bloomed in her belly, it was like she had swallowed a small explosive, and it had just detonated. Here it was. What Kane needed. Laura knew instinctively that this lovely lady, who seemed to care for children, who looked already half in love with Kane, could be the one to complete his life. Visions of white satin, tuxedos, baby pink flannel and Kane's beautiful smile flashed through her brain. She gripped her arms around her middle, squeezing tight on her elbows. She bent forward ever so slightly, reeling with the pain, the nausea, the heartbreaking sorrow.

The class was winding down, and children were being collected by their guardians. The blonde lady looked beside her, but the beautiful redhead was gone.

***

Kane stopped by Laura's after his class. He only had one more day at the gallery, then he was free. He palmed the small, velvet box in his pocket, a fierce, giddy feeling tickling his gut. Tomorrow night, after his last class, he was going to start the rest of his life.

With his
Laura.

He was sure that it
was going to burn a hole in his pocket between now and then. His hand trembled as he slipped the box into the glove compartment of his car and locked it. Tomorrow night, she would be his forever, please God.

He headed to her house, hoping to charm a meal out of her, or take h
er to Sweeney's for a pint and the special. He wasn't going to let her talk him out of spending the night with her tonight. He only had the one more day at the gallery. He could make love to her all night long, and with the energy and excitement zinging through his veins, sail through the next day on the high of knowing that his days without her were done. He pulled into her lane, but her car wasn't there. He trotted up to the door, and rattled the locked knob. Strange. She never locked her door. His happy anticipation fizzled to mild disappointment when there was no answer to his knock. He texted her, but didn't get an immediate response. Bleedin' battery was probably dead. He would just have to go find her. He stopped by Jill's. No, she hadn't seen Laura all day. Neither had the Sullivans. Or Arlene. Or Landon. He drove back through town, searching Main Street for the cream SUV, for a glimpse of ginger hair, listening for the sharp yip of a small dog.

His disappointment grew to worry when he got back to his farm and she wasn
't there either. Ah, well. Maybe she was in the city, shopping. But she hated shopping. And wouldn't Jill have known if she had gone to St. John's?

H
is worry escalated to fear when she hadn't answered his text after an hour. He paced around the farm, irritated and getting angrier by the minute. Didn't she know he would be worried about her? Didn't she know she should at least tell someone her whereabouts? She could be lying in a ditch somewhere.

Jaysus.

He jumped back into his car and tore down the laneway, scattering stones and spraying up a cloud of dust
.

His fruitless search back through town brought a growing sense of dread
. He texted her again. And again. He called.

"
The customer you are trying to reach is unavailable."

What in the fires of hell
does that mean? Unavailable. Shite! Shite! SHITE!

The sun was setting, and his
Laura was out there. Somewhere. And no-one knew where. Fear ground through his heart, his guts. He punched letters into his phone, relief momentarily washing through him as he determined from the traffic website that there hadn't been any accidents reported. Well, at least thank God for that.

He didn
't want to do it. Dear God, he didn't.

But he found her car
.

In the long term parking lot at the airport
.

He killed his engine along the concrete barrier between the main thoroughfare and her abandoned vehicle
. His arms dropped to his thighs, his head hanging, his heart breaking.

"I can't believe she'd leave without telling you. Or me." Jill paced her kitchen. Kane sat at her table, leaning on his elbows, forehead resting angrily, dejectedly on bunched fists.

"
Maybe something happened back home and she had to go quickly."

Home
. The operative word. What Kane had feared most since she had sent her boys back. Apparently she just couldn't take it. But dammit! Didn't she owe him an explanation? He loved her. She said she loved him. Didn't that count for something?

"
I'll email Kyle. Maybe he'll know something."

"
Aye. Do that, will ye?"

He didn
't want there to be anything wrong with her boys, but held that thin sliver of hope that she left to be with them for their needs, not hers.

Jill
's fingers tapped over the keys of her computer. She chewed her lip, formulating words that would give them some answers without causing Kyle to panic if, indeed, he hadn't heard from his mother. They both watched the slowly blinking cursor, waiting for news, Jill's eyes filled with worry, Kane's with gritty, red-rimmed grief.

Kyle
's reply was brief.

Yep, all good here
.

Kane
's shoulders slumped lower. She was gone. Gone into hiding. Gone from his life. Without a trace. Without an explanation. The attendant at the airport ticket counter couldn't give out any information. But it didn't take a brain surgeon to figure out where she had gone.

He
wanted to be thoroughly pissed with her. But all he felt was a yawning empty chasm that was the rest of his life. He rose from his chair with the slow, painful motions of an old man. Jill folded him in her small, supporting arms.

Her friend h
ad left her, too. And she
was
pissed. She rubbed Kane's back and kissed his brow. And watched him walk from her house to his car, the plodding march of the bereaved. When he pulled out of her driveway she jerked her cell phone from her purse.

Wha
t the hell is WRONG with you???????
she texted to Laura. She didn't expect a reply. And didn't get one. Damn! Damn, damn,
damn!

The next morning
Jill rolled from bed and went straight to her computer. The closed envelope icon blinked at her.
Please God
, she thought. She opened the message from Kyle.

Mom
's with Nana and Poppa. I don't know why. Did that dickhead hurt her??? I'm going down right now to find out what's going on. I'll let you know.

Well, thank God she
's at least alive, Jill thought
. Because I'm going to frigging kill her
.

She drove straight to Kane
's after dropping Shannon at school.