Soulwalker (24 page)

Asher blinked a couple of times while Tarris waited patiently for her reaction. “So.” She popped another piece of freeze-dried fruit into her mouth.

“So,” Tarris repeated. She continued to clean her suit. Conversation had been practically nonexistent from the moment they both woke up. Tarris had sat there sullenly and worked diligently to get her suit back to working order, while Asher took some sustenance.

“Now do you wish you’d never met me?” Tarris asked the question again. It seemed like forever since the question had been raised. But their lives were on the line, and Tarris wouldn’t blame Asher for leaving the whole mess behind her.

“Imagine the story I’ll be able to tell when this is all over.”

“That’s not an answer,” Tarris said.

“Does it matter what the answer is?”

“It’s just a matter of saying yes or no. How hard can it be?”

“Harder than you think, my dear Tarris.” Asher smiled sweetly at her. She lifted a hand to caress Tarris’s cheek. “Some things you’re not ready to hear.”

“Stop treating me like a child,” Tarris said, but she stopped short of slapping Asher’s hand away. She leaned into the touch and eagerly absorbed the emotion behind the action.

“But in some ways you are still a child, Tarris. You’re only learning things now that the rest of us have known for many years.” Asher slid her finger to Tarris’s lips. “Now before you speak, listen to me. I’m not pointing out your faults or belittling you. You’ve been given a gift that none of us can begin to imagine the depth of. Don’t be in such a hurry to know it all.”

“And you’re hijacking the conversation, Asher. You still haven’t answered my question. Do wish you had never met me?” Tarris didn’t know why she was tormenting herself this way. Why couldn’t she let sleeping dogs lie?

“Now? No. And before you ask, I’ll tell you why. You have bullied, cajoled, and argued with me to help you. Sometimes you can be a real pain in the ass.”

“Geez, thanks.”

“But you wormed your way into my heart, Tarris Waite. I care for you, more than you’ll ever know.” Asher dropped her hand. “And that’s all I’ll say for now.”

“Stop playing word games with me.” Tarris put down the frame and lifted herself onto her palms. She winced as she clumsily shifted herself away from Asher. “Nobody ever says what they mean. Derille. Darmen. You.” She used her abdominal muscles to steady herself while she reached for her clothes and wrestled with the material. “Shit!” She threw the jumpsuit to the ground in disgust.

“Here, let me.” Asher moved next to her and reached for the discarded jumpsuit. Methodically she pulled the sleeves out and reversed the legs before she presented the suit to Tarris. “Do you want me to help you?” she asked tentatively.

“Why? Don’t think I can do it myself? Heaven forbid that I’ve taken care of myself for the last sixteen years without anyone’s help.”

“Tarris.” Asher tapped her shoulder. “What’s wrong with you?”

“This is your chance to get as far away from me as possible before I get you killed.”

“Is this what it’s all about? You’re afraid for my life?”

“Of course.” But Tarris spoke a little too quickly.

Asher rose to her knees and spread out Tarris’s suit, reaching down to feed the material along her legs. She waited for Tarris to lift herself off the ground with her powerful arms before she slid the material over her ass and up to her waist. Asher looked up from her position at Tarris’s waist and gazed intently. “And that’s it?” When Tarris nodded, Asher continued. “You are such a hypocrite. You’re playing word games with me right now.”

Tarris snatched her suit out of Asher’s hands and shoved her arms into the sleeves roughly. “Everyone who stays with me ends up getting hurt.”

“You mean everyone who loves you ends up getting hurt.”

“That’s what I said,” Tarris said defensively.

“No, you didn’t. Why is it so hard for you to say ‘love’?”

“Because it’s not a word in my vocabulary, okay? I can’t afford to have someone love me.”

“Or for you to love someone back. That’s it, isn’t it? You’re afraid to love me.” Asher stood up and reached for her clothes. She dressed quickly in an effort to counter the chill in the air.

“I’m afraid of hurting you, Ash.”

“What happened before… it’s all right, Tarris. It’s what passion is all about, hon. Expressing yourself like that. Don’t be afraid of it. Embrace it.”

“Not like that,” Tarris said. “Not ever like that.”

“What’ going on inside your head?”

“I was too rough. It’s not supposed to happen like that.”

“Did you hear me complaining? Passion comes in all forms, Tarris. Don’t try to hide from it.”

“But I have to. It… it…”

“Scares you? You just can’t say it, can you?”

“Fine. It scares me, and it should scare you.” Tarris shifted uncomfortably. “We have to get moving.”

“We’re not moving from here until we sort this out.”

“Why is it so important for you to know?” Tarris asked in a defiant tone.

“Because it concerns you.” Asher looked at her.

“Something’s always been there, hiding away until it sees a chance to make me think things.”

“What sort of things?”

“Things I have no use for.”

“You mean sexual things.” Tarris hung her head. “Things you want to experience and feel. Things that get you excited.”

“Yes.” Tarris said the word so softly that Asher barely heard it.

“Well, I’d call that a vivid imagination, but it certainly isn’t something to be feared.” Tarris didn’t look convinced. “Obviously you’ve been thinking about sex a lot, despite what you told me before. I think you’ve held yourself in check very well for sixteen years in limbo. If it were me, I’d probably still be ravishing you.”

Tarris let out a small chuckle.

“That’s better. Tarris, honey, it’s nothing to fear, all right? It’s just your libido stretching its mental muscles. It wants action, and you’re trying to hold it back.”

“But—”

“Did you hear me complaining? In fact, I think I did quite the opposite. I look forward to you fulfilling those imaginative thoughts of yours in the future.” Asher winked at her and drew another smile from her.

“The future?”

“Unless you don’t want me around anymore.” The question was tentative, yet Asher said it in a voice that was anything but. She wanted Tarris to see she had made her mind up. She had answered her question. She was with Tarris to the end.

*   *   *

The water had receded enough for them to venture farther down the tunnel toward the next station. Tarris held the torch high above her head to light the way.

Asher was right. It would have been simpler to send Rya on this mission, but Tarris had two reasons not to. First, Rya was now at a point where she must be treated as more than a fetch-and-carry service. Rya had developed into a sentient being and had earned the right to be treated as such. Right? Tarris was trying very hard to convince herself that this was the prime reason for this foolish venture into the unknown, because the second reason was even more foolish and fraught with danger. She didn’t want to spend any more time alone with Asher than was absolutely necessary, because she was scared of her own feelings toward her. She had seen the essence of her true nature, and despite Asher’s assurances to the contrary, she wasn’t sure she could handle it.

Tarris amended the word “scared.” Scared wasn’t a word she used often, and especially not when referring to herself. She was “concerned” or “troubled,” but never scared. It implied cowardice, and she never thought of herself as a coward. After what she had gone through in the last sixteen years, she was sure no one else would use that word to describe her either.

Then what was it that concerned her about Asher? Was this ache around her heart Asher’s doing? Was this need to protect her something more than just concern?

You rationalize things too much, sister,
Rya said.

Tarris sighed. She couldn’t even console herself in private.

The darkness receded, and another platform came into view.

“Hello? Jerad?” Asher’s voice echoed around the empty space without an answer. “Stay here and I’ll check it out.” She clambered up onto the platform before Tarris had a chance to even argue the point. While she watched Asher move about the platform, she rested her chin on her forearms and leaned against the platform edge.

“No luck?” Tarris called.

“Well, he’s not here.” Asher said. There was a rattle of metal. “The exits are all blocked off. He didn’t leave this way.” Asher reappeared from around a corner. “I did find this, though.” She handed over a discarded bottle.

“Someone’s been through here recently. This type of bottle heater wasn’t invented until about nine years ago.”

“Maybe it was Jerad.”

“I don’t think so. I don’t normally carry this type of bottle. Besides…” Tarris hesitated and rummaged through her backpack. “No, I only grabbed two when we left and they’re here.”

“Then this means…”

“Yes, it does, and all the more reason we need to find Jerad.”

Tarris waited for Asher to come and sit down on the edge. She placed her hands around Asher’s tiny waist and effortlessly lifted her down to the rail tracks. Asher’s stunned expression made her smile. It was one of the few times her body’s limitations had caused that reaction. “Come on.” She extended her hand in invitation and led Asher back into the darkness at the far end of the platform.

They had passed through another three platform areas with the same result. The exits were blocked, and Jerad was nowhere to be seen.

“What do we do now?”

Tarris could see that Asher was concerned. “We can’t go back, and there’s no other way out. We have to keep going forward and hope we meet up with Jerad.”

“And if we don’t?”

Tarris didn’t want to think about it because it meant the kid had run out on them and left them to wander around in the dark. Tarris had always thought she was a good judge of character, despite her decision on Derille. She put that down to an aberration. If she was wrong about Jerad, did that also mean he would turn them in? The chance for a big reward would certainly be tempting.

“I just hope he got out and is hiding away somewhere. If they find him, he could end up like his parents.”

Tarris felt Asher’s shiver through her fingers.

“So for now,” Tarris continued, “we go forward and hope to find a way out of here.” She led the way and used the light from the torch to pick her way through the debris in the tunnel. In fact, this was their second torch. The first one had burned down to a stump and left Tarris fumbling around for a quick replacement.

“So what does Rya think about this gung-ho attitude of yours?” Asher called from behind.

“She’s all for it.”

That’s not what I said.
Rya stated.
My way is a lot safer.

The conversation echoed along the long empty tunnel. The only other sounds were the dripping of water into a puddle and a low, audible scratching. They carefully stepped along the tunnel, moving from one wooden piece to the next between the metal rails. Tarris pulled up short, and Asher ran into the back of her. “What are you—?” Asher’s words were cut short when Tarris held up her hand to signal stop.

Voices could be heard far-off. “Shhh,” Tarris whispered.

“Well, d’uh…” Asher followed in Tarris’s footsteps. The ground was uneven, and they had to carefully watch where they placed their feet.

The blackness started to fade and turn to gray with every step closer to the voices. Tarris disposed of the torch in a nearby puddle of water. She moved over to one side to hug the tunnel wall. She expected Asher to follow close behind, and she didn’t waste her time confirming the fact.

“Is this why Jerad didn’t come back?” Asher said in a low voice.

“Uh-huh.” Tarris suspected this was the “facility,” as the Prime put it. She was about to find out why the facility was so important. At that precise moment, her suit squeaked. This was not good.

“I thought you said you cleaned that thing.”

“Shhh,” Tarris hissed. She thought she had, too, but Asher had broken her concentration and left her fragmented. No wonder she missed a spot or two.

“What’s going on?”

“You just can’t stop talking, can you?” Tarris turned and faced Asher and spoke a little louder than she wanted to.

“I’m just asking a question.”

“At the wrong time.”

A strange voice said, “Oh, I wouldn’t say that.”

“Shit!” Tarris spat out.

“You got that right.” The guard sounded amused. “Now, move it.” He waved his weapon in front of them.

Do you want me to take care of him, sister?
Rya asked with concern.

Not yet, Rya. Let’s see what we can find out first.
Tarris would take the opportunity presented to her. She hoped she could get them out of the situation they were in if the need arose.

“Now look what you’ve done,” Asher said.

“Me? I wasn’t the one asking all the questions.”

“Shut up, both of you.” The guard shoved the muzzle of his gun in Asher’s back and pushed hard.

But…

It’s all part of the plan, Rya.

Tarris, this is either incredibly bold or monumentally stupid.

When did you develop a vocabulary?

Pretty neat, huh?

Yeah,
Tarris said.
Neat.

So you’re going ahead with this plan when I can easily solve this for you?

Tarris gulped heavily. She wasn’t sure whether it was her guilt that made the statement sound like she was a useless tagalong or whether Rya had developed a case of overconfidence.
Yeah.
Tarris inwardly sighed.
Something like that
.

As they approached the next platform, two guards stood on the edge and peered down at them, their weapons drawn and ready. At the far end, Tarris caught a glimpse of two more guards carrying what looked like a dead body between them. A disintegration booth had been set up in the corner of the back wall. When the guards reached the booth, they tossed the corpse into the beam. It sizzled and crackled for a moment, lighting up the dim space with a blinding flash, before the booth fell silent. No remnant was left. The former human being had been obliterated.