[Song of Alaska 02] - Morning's Refrain (30 page)

“I suppose there will be time to figure it all out.” She sounded so lost, and Dalton reflexively pulled her close again.

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t have proposed in a romantic setting,” he said. “I have thought of nothing but you the entire trip. How is it that you worked yourself so completely into my heart when I wasn’t even looking?”

“I wanted to ask the same of you,” she said, trembling in his arms.

“Are you afraid?”

She said nothing, and Dalton couldn’t help but seek her face. “Look at me, Phoebe.”

She pulled back just enough to gaze upward. Dalton took hold of her face and caressed her cheek. “Don’t be afraid . . . not of me . . . not of the future. God has not forsaken us. He will guide our steps.”

“I’m not afraid of you,” she whispered. “I am . . . I am nervous— anxious. I want to be a good wife, but I . . . well . . . I’ve not even been kissed before. I’m afraid you will find me quite naïve.”

He smiled. “I don’t mind.” He traced a line along her jaw. “And I intend to remedy that matter of the kiss . . . very soon.”

She looked at him with such an expression of awe and delight that Dalton wanted nothing more than to kiss her then and there, but he held back. He wanted their first kiss to be just as special as their first night together. It was hard to hold off, but Dalton knew it would be worth the wait.

“Very soon,” he promised.

“I’m so glad to know you’re all doing much better,” Dalton said. He looked at his mother now tucked under a blanket, sitting in her favorite rocker. “I had no idea you were so ill.”

“We couldn’t very well get word to you,” Evie replied. She had just returned from seeing the girls to bed. “It all happened rather fast.”

“And without Phoebe, we would have been much worse off,” his mother added.

“She said nothing about it. Of course, my news to her was so overwhelming, she probably forgot all about it.” Dalton had already told them about Mr. Robbins.

“I wish we could have helped you, but I know God was at your side,” his mother said. “It’s hard to imagine why someone would end their life like that.”

“The man no doubt felt overwhelmed with the weight of all that had happened,” Father said as he joined them in the living room. “The past has a way of stealing the joy of the present.”

Dalton sighed and leaned back against the leather-upholstered chair his father had made. It was so good to be home. He longed for his bed and a long sleep.

“Were you able to get everything you had wanted to buy while in Seattle?” Zee asked.

“Yes, and then some.” He grinned. “Part of it won’t even be shipped up until later. But I brought the important things with me—like presents for all of you.”

His mother laughed. “It’s very nearly your birthday. You’re the one who deserves the presents.”

“I have arranged my own special gift,” Dalton replied. “I proposed to Phoebe and she accepted. The timing was less than perfect, but I wanted to reassure her mother that I would take care of her and the boys, as well.”

His parents exchanged a glance. “That was an admirable thing to do, son,” his father said.

“I figure I’m carrying on a tradition in a sense,” Dalton said. “You took on me and Mother, as well as Evie and Aunt Zee. I figure it’s the least I can do for the woman I love.”

His father leaned back against the fireplace mantel. “It’s a big responsibility.”

“When will you marry?” Mother asked, wiping a tear from her eye.

“Very soon. Within the week, if possible. I think it’s important that we do this and offer the family as much security as we can.”

“Where will you live?” Evie asked.

“Well, I think the best thing will be to build a new house.” He looked to his father. “I was hoping you would be available.”

“As if I would let anyone else help you,” Kjell said, laughing. “In fact, while you were gone, I managed to secure a piece of property not far from here. It’s a nice harbor location where I thought you might want to have your boatbuilding shop. It’s definitely large enough for a house, as well.”

Dalton grinned. “When can I see it?”

“How about tomorrow after church?”

He nodded. “Of course, it will be hard to put much together over the winter. I guess in the meanwhile, we’ll probably rent something small in town. Her mother will want Phoebe close.”

“I can understand that. I’m glad though that you’ll be able to be off to yourselves at least for a little while,” his mother said thoughtfully. “It will be an important time for you and Phoebe to get to know each other.”

“I don’t know if you’ve heard,” Evie interjected, “but Joshua and I are to be married on the seventh of December.”

Dalton laughed and reached over to give her a playful nudge.

“It’s about time. What took him so long to propose?”

Evie shrugged. “I guess he was just waiting for me to come give him a good push.”

“Well, sister, I couldn’t be happier for you.” He couldn’t help but think back on the pain and misery she’d suffered. No one deserved a happy marriage more than Evie.

His father stretched. “It’s getting late, and we have church in the morning,” He went to where Lydia was sitting and without so much as a grunt, swept her into his arms and headed for the stairs. “Now I’ll have you all to myself.”

Dalton heard his mother giggle and smiled at Evie and Zee. “I hope I’m just as romantic at their age.”

Evie nodded. “I know I plan to be.”

Phoebe sat on her bed, staring out into the darkness. Her father was dead. She had never admitted it to her mother, but Phoebe had feared her father might never return for them. Her initial worry was that he was running away from them—that he would leave for California and never send for them to join him. She wasn’t even sure why she’d feared that. He’d never been the kind of man to leave his family to do for themselves.

“But he’s done exactly that now,” she whispered.

She hugged her knees to her chest and fought back tears. How could he be gone? How could such a thing have happened? Surely he knew the pain it would cause. His letter to her said as much. A wave of anger coursed through her. How could he have been so inconsiderate—so selfish? Her mother was inconsolable, and the boys . . . well, they were confused and grief-stricken.

“It wasn’t right,” she said, shaking her head. “What you did to us wasn’t right.”

Bowing her head, Phoebe tried to pray, but the words would not come. How should she even address the matter? Wasn’t suicide a sin? Had her father lost his place in eternity because of his weakness? Surely God wasn’t like that. God, above everyone, knew the pain and weight of the burden her father carried.

Her sigh echoed in the silent room. What would happen now? She knew she would marry Dalton, but beyond that her future seemed obscured. It seemed her family—her very life—was in pieces and she might never be able to gather them together again. Phoebe had never felt so alone.

“Oh, Dalton. I wish you were here now. I wish we were already married.” She straightened and slumped back against her pillow. Pulling the covers around her body, Phoebe let her tears flow freely.

“Papa,” she breathed, “I will miss you so.”

Chapter 23

P
hoebe looked down at her cream-colored suit. The dark brown embroidery work gave it a more festive look, but still it was quite simple. The lines of the piece had been designed for ease of travel and comfortable walking. She doubted the designer had ever intended it to be a wedding dress.

She glanced at the clock. In less than fifteen minutes, she would be Mrs. Dalton Lindquist. It all seemed like a dream. They had spent much of the past week together, even managing to find a tiny apartment above one of the stores. It wasn’t much, but as Dalton explained to her, they didn’t need it to be. Come spring, they would have a new home of their own—one large enough for her entire family.

“Are you ready?” her mother asked.

“I suppose I am.” Phoebe looked up and smiled. “It’s not exactly how I envisioned my wedding day, but in all honesty, it doesn’t even matter. I’m marrying a man I love, and though Father isn’t here to share the moment with us, I am happy.”

Her mother nodded and reached for her daughter’s arm. “He is a good man. His concern for our family is more than anyone could ever expect.” Her mother’s voice seemed to weaken. “I wish this day could have been different for you. I never imagined that your father wouldn’t be here to give you away. I miss him so.” She dabbed at her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Phoebe took hold of her mother’s hand. “Don’t be. I know how very much you loved Father. I wish he had not . . . had not . . . gone away. I hope you know I will always be here for you. My marriage to Dalton will not change that.”

Her mother smiled sadly. “I know, but I also want you to have a life of your own. Your wedding should be a day of happiness and joy, focused completely on you and your husband. I don’t want you to give this another thought. Not now.” She squeezed Phoebe’s hand. “There will be plenty of time for mourning after today.”

Phoebe nodded. She followed her mother from the small room and into the sanctuary. She noticed the small gathering of people. Most were Dalton’s family and friends. The governor and his wife, however, had managed to attend, as had a few of her father’s other associates. Phoebe saw her brothers at the front, standing with Dalton. They seemed unhappy and out of place.

Britta tugged on Phoebe’s skirt. “Are you ready?”

She looked down at Britta and Kjerstin. They were to be her maids of honor. Phoebe smiled. “I am. You go ahead and lead the way.”

Someone began to play the piano, and Phoebe realized that her wedding had begun. Britta led the way down the aisle, and Kjerstin followed about six paces behind. Phoebe drew a deep breath and felt her knees begin to wobble. Upon meeting Dalton’s blue-eyed gaze, however, she steadied.

He smiled, and Phoebe couldn’t help but flush. She lowered her head, embarrassed that she was now truly a blushing bride. What would people think? She moved down the aisle slowly, keeping her focus on the floor just a few feet in front of her.

I can do this. It’s just one step at a time.
She couldn’t help but smile as she remembered her Bible verse from Philippians.
I can
do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

She felt Dalton take hold of her arm. Trembling from head to toe, she was barely able to look up. Dalton winked, furthering her discomfort. He seemed more the mischievous prankster than the serious groom.

Tucking her arm close to his side, Dalton pressed in closer and whispered in her ear, “If you faint, they’ll report it in the paper.”

Phoebe’s head snapped up. The preacher looked surprised, but Dalton simply held a matter-of-fact expression. Phoebe wanted to give him a hard whack in the ribs, but he was only trying to help. Still, there was something very wrong about a bride being teased in such a fashion. Didn’t he know how nervous she was? Didn’t he understand that she had waited for this day all of her life?

“Dearly beloved,” the pastor began.

Phoebe licked her dry lips and tried to focus on the words of the ceremony. Dalton was about to become her husband. She was about to become his wife, and yet she barely knew this man. Why, they’d only come to Sitka less than six months ago. Maybe they were rushing this.