[Song of Alaska 02] - Morning's Refrain (29 page)

Dalton had been in Seattle for three days before he realized that one of the three letters Phoebe’s father had deposited in his care was addressed to him. Mr. Robbins had said nothing about it, and Dalton had presumed the letter was for his sons.

He couldn’t imagine what Robbins would have to say to him in a letter. Perhaps he had felt it important to reiterate his approval about Dalton and Phoebe marrying. Opening the envelope, Dalton began to skim the contents. A cold dread crept over him.

And so it is with great regret that I must go. It gives me comfort
to know that you will be there for my family. Knowing that you
hold family dear, I believe I can count on you to care for them
long after I’m gone.

Shaking his head, Dalton reread the letter from the beginning. What was Robbins saying? There was an odd air of finality to his words that left Dalton with a great sense of unrest. He looked at the other letters and wondered what Robbins had penned to his wife and daughter.

Dalton took the letters in hand and turned them over. Neither was sealed. Should he open them and read the contents? It would be an invasion of privacy, but Dalton felt almost frantic to know what Robbins had written.

“Maybe I’m assuming too much,” he said aloud. He looked at his own letter again. There was a definite tone that suggested Robbins was bidding Dalton good-bye. “It’s not my imagination.”

Dalton dropped the letter on the bed and took up the envelope that Robbins had addressed to his wife.

My dearest Bethel,

So long I have loved you, and for so long I have burdened you
with my shame. You have suffered at my side, bearing more than
any good wife should have to bear. I have loved you more dearly
than any husband has ever loved his mate. You have been my
all—my very breath. Please know that you hold no responsibility
in the decision that I now make. Please tell my children that they
were dear to me, and that I held great pride in them.

When I announced my resignation to Lyman, I knew that I
was making a decision that should have been made years ago. As
I resign my life, I feel much the same. The decision should have
been made a long time ago to save my family from the pain and
sorrow that has haunted us these many years.

Dalton’s hand trembled. It was exactly as he feared.

Forgive me, Bethel, for I am but a weak man and haven’t the
strength to go on. Dalton Lindquist has just asked to marry our
daughter. I have given him my blessing, and I know that he will
care for you and the boys, as well. It is the only thing that gives me
any peace of mind in leaving you.

Feeling as though the wind had been knocked from him, Dalton sank to the bed and shook his head. Robbins meant to end his life.

“What is to be done?” The ship was long gone and Robbins with it. By now, the man might even be dead. Dalton wished fervently that his mother or father might be there so he could consult them. “Dear God,” he prayed, “what should I do about this?”

Chapter 22

November 1889

D
alton arrived back in Sitka on the twenty-third of the month. The new mail steamer,
The City of Topeka
, had provided him a comfortable journey on this, her maiden voyage to Alaska. Dalton had heard the crew say that this was only the first of many trips to come, as the ship would become their primary postal transport.

He also learned that scarlet fever had afflicted the town in his absence and prayed that his family had not suffered from the disease. He couldn’t recall ever having had the sickness himself, and he feared for his little sisters. His biggest worry, however, was how to share the news of Mr. Robbins’ death with his family.

He scanned the crowd of people who’d come to the dock. There was no sign of his father or mother, but then, they hadn’t known he would arrive today. Dalton toyed with the idea of going home first. It was a cold, rainy Saturday, so perhaps his father and mother would be available to accompany him to the Robbinses’ house. He hated the idea of going alone.

His own investigation of Mr. Robbins’ trip to California had revealed he had succeeded in his intention: Dalton had it confirmed that he had jumped from the ship and drowned. Dalton was at a loss as to how he would break the news to Phoebe and her family. He had, in fact, thought of saying nothing—of hiding the letters Robbins had given him. But he couldn’t abide the lies and secrets that had marred his own life. It would be painful for them to know the truth of what Mr. Robbins had done, but Dalton couldn’t protect them from it. Soon enough the authorities would be in touch, and it was better that the news come from someone who cared about them.

“But what do I say?” There was no easy way to break news of this type. Maybe it would be better to seek advice from his family first.

Finally, Dalton decided it would be best to just get the matter out of the way. Phoebe’s home was less than two blocks away, and with bag in hand, he walked the short distance, praying every step that God would help him to say the right things.

The gloomy day seemed the perfect backdrop for bad news. Dalton trudged through the muddy streets greeting those around him in an absent-minded manner. It wasn’t until he saw Yuri from a distance that he pushed aside thoughts of his task.

“Yuri!” Dalton called and waved.

His friend glanced up but didn’t return the greeting. He stared at Dalton for a moment, then turned and walked away. Dalton stopped and watched Yuri go. Apparently the time apart had not assuaged Yuri’s anger.

There is nothing I can do about it right now,
Dalton reminded himself. He was in sight of the Robbinses’ house. The small building bore the same signs of weathering that most other places had, but Mrs. Robbins and Phoebe had done a good job of making it a home. Despite the wear of age, it seemed almost cheery with the lacy curtains that hung in the front window.

It will never be cheery after today.

Knocking on the door, Dalton prayed one more time for strength. There wasn’t any way he could make this easier for the family. No matter what he said, Mr. Robbins would still be dead, and their loss would be acute. Mrs. Robbins opened the door and beamed him a welcoming smile.

“Dalton—we didn’t know you were back.” She stepped back. “Please come in out of the cold.”

He did so and placed his bag just inside the door. Pulling off his cap, he looked at the woman. “I wonder if we could talk for a few minutes.”

“Of course. Phoebe is here, as well. Let me get her. She’s in the kitchen ironing. The boys have gone off with friends, so we should be able to speak without interruption.”

Dalton let her go, knowing that she would need her daughter to help steady her through the sorrowful news to come. Maybe he needed her, too. With Phoebe sharing the moment, Dalton knew he wouldn’t feel so alone. Still, this was her father, and the shock would be equally hard for her. Dalton ran his hand through his hair and silently wished he’d gone to get his folks first.

Phoebe stepped into the room at that moment and gone were all other thoughts. Her honey gold hair hung loose around her shoulders, and though her manner of dress was quite simple, Dalton thought she’d never looked more beautiful.

“I didn’t know you were coming today. I would have been at the docks,” she declared. She crossed the room to come closer. Her mother was right behind her or Dalton might have swept Phoebe into his arms.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get word to you ahead of time.” He braced himself and motioned to the sofa. “I wonder if we could sit. I need to speak with you—both.”

Phoebe smiled and nodded. “Of course. You sound so serious. Is something wrong?”

She took a seat, as did her mother. Both women looked to Dalton with such expectancy that he wanted nothing more than to bolt from the room. Instead, he pulled up a straight chair to sit directly in front of both women. He took Mr. Robbins’ letters from his pocket but didn’t hand them over.

“I’m afraid there is something wrong. I wish I didn’t have to be the bearer of bad news, but it has fallen to me, nevertheless.”

Mrs. Robbins’ smile faded as she glanced at her daughter. Phoebe leaned forward. “What is it, Dalton? Tell us now.”

“Your father . . . Mr. Robbins . . . I’m afraid he’s . . .” Dalton struggled with the word. It seemed so harsh, so final. “He’s dead.”

Phoebe shook her head in disbelief. Her mother stared back at Dalton, eyes wide and mouth dropped open in shock. He wanted to comfort them both, but they had unanswered questions. Rather than wait for them, Dalton continued.

“I spoke to him on the trip down to Seattle. He gave me these letters for you.” Dalton handed them over. “In fact, there were three letters, but one was for me. However, I didn’t realize that until days after your father and I had parted company.”

The women stared at the envelopes for a moment, then looked back to Dalton. Phoebe spoke first. “What happened? How did he die?”

“He jumped from the ship. A witness saw him, but by the time they were able to stop the ship and send rescue, there was no sign of him.” Dalton paused and drew a deep breath. “Let me back up a bit. When I talked to him on the ship, he seemed burdened. He had kept to himself throughout most of the trip, so I wasn’t even able to talk to him until the day before I debarked.

“I went to him to ask for Phoebe’s hand,” he said, looking at her apologetically. “I am sorry to mix such a wonderful event with so much sadness, but it’s important for you both to know.”

Phoebe nodded and looked to her mother. “We understand.”

Mrs. Robbins had tears streaming down her face but otherwise remained silent.

“He asked me to bring a letter back to you, Mrs. Robbins. When he had your letter delivered to me the next morning, there were two others with it. I presumed, as I said earlier, that they were for you both and the boys. I went about my business paying no attention to the letters, until three days later. At that time I noticed that one of them was addressed to me. When I read it, I became alarmed. It sounded very much as if Mr. Robbins was giving the care of his family over to me. I was certain that he was saying good-bye. I feared that he intended to do himself harm and needed proof.”

Dalton shifted uncomfortably. “I beg your forgiveness, but this, in turn, caused me to open your letters. When I saw what he’d written you, I went immediately to the authorities. They contacted the ship’s captain and eventually learned that Mr. Robbins had died at sea.”

“He couldn’t swim,” Mrs. Robbins said, speaking for the first time since hearing the news. “None of us can.” Her voice broke and a sobbing gasp escaped her. “Oh, what are we to do?”

Exchanging a glance with Phoebe, Dalton reached out to take hold of Mrs. Robbins’ hand. “I don’t want you to worry about anything. I love Phoebe very much, and I believe she loves me.”

“I do,” Phoebe whispered.

He fixed his eyes on her. “Do you love me enough to marry me?”

She nodded most somberly. “You know I do.”

Dalton looked back at Mrs. Robbins. “We will marry, and you will become my family. I will see to your needs. You mustn’t be afraid of the future.”

“But how can you take care of us? You’re hardly more than a boy yourself,” Mrs. Robbins said, shaking her head.

“I have money. My father left me an inheritance. It’s been in my mother’s care all these years. It is quite substantial and will be more than enough to see us through. I only ask one thing.”

“What is that, Dalton?” Phoebe questioned.

“That you remain here in Sitka. This is my home, and my business has always been here. I do not desire to leave. So for the time being, I would ask you to stay. If later you think it best to return to Vermont or some other place, I will see you safely there and provided for, but Phoebe and I would stay on here.”

“I can scarcely believe this,” Mrs. Robbins said, clutching the letter to her breast. “I . . . I . . . need to be alone.” She got to her feet and fled the room without another word.

For a moment Dalton and Phoebe sat in silence. He was glad the boys were not home. He thought it might be easier for them to hear the news from their mother—in private.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said.

“Don’t be. You did everything admirable and good,” Phoebe replied.

“But you deserve better than a proposal in the same conversation in which you learn of your father’s death.” Dalton got up and joined her on the sofa. Slipping his arm around her shoulder, he pulled her close and breathed in the scent of her hair.

Phoebe clung to him and buried her face against his chest. It felt so right to have her there. Dalton longed to kiss her, but now was not the time.

“We should marry as soon as possible,” he finally said.

“Yes. I agree.” She straightened and met his gaze. “Dalton, where will we live? There’s hardly room here for the four of us as it is.”

“I hadn’t really considered it, but I plan to build a business. I might as well build a house, too. I’ll need to talk to my father. For the time being, maybe your mother and brothers can remain here, and you and I can take a small place nearby. We could even move out to my place, but that wouldn’t keep us close to your mother.”