Song for Silas, A (18 page)

Evan Randall was a proud man. It showed in his carriage, the way he spoke, and in nearly every facet of his life. But today as he faced his niece in the small library downstairs, he looked like a beaten man.

He motioned Amy and Silas into chairs, but he remained standing. “Please tell me what she said.” Amy hesitated, so Evan said, “I’m sure she’s upset with me or she would have talked directly to me.”

Amy didn’t see that she had any choice. She looked to Silas, and he gave her a small nod. Quietly and as gently as possible, Amy relayed what her aunt had shared.

Evan dropped heavily into a chair and stared at her in disbelief. “I had no idea. You mean she actually believes I don’t love her?” Amy gave a small nod and fought to keep the tears at bay, his expression so clearly showing his hurt and confusion.

“Did she really say that about the money?” Again Amy nodded. “I never intended that she feel she couldn’t have money. I certainly never denied her.”

“But you do question her?”

“Yes, I guess I do,” he admitted with a heavy sigh. “But I honestly never meant to be stingy with her or make her think I didn’t care.”

Other than the sound of the townspeople out front, the house was still. There were no other words to be said in the
library downstairs. And the occupants of the room sat and wondered what was being said upstairs in the master bedroom.

Bev had turned back to the window, and Grant was not sure what to say or even what had led him to come into the room this way. He had not been at all prepared for the mob out front and he was still reeling with shock over the severity of Bev’s circumstances.

“I’m glad you came, Grant. I asked for Amy because I guess she feels like the daughter I never had and felt I needed to see her to say—”

Grant was afraid of what she was going to say. Her voice sounded terribly despondent, which concerned him.

“I’ve shamed Evan, you know. He didn’t deserve this. He won’t be able to show his face in this town. It would be better for him if I were dead.”

“You’re wrong, Bev.” Grant’s voice was emphatic. “No one wishes you dead, and especially not Evan. I realize he’s not demonstrative, but I know he cares for you. He’s proud of the position you hold in this town and the work you do.”

Bev only shook her head sadly and turned from the window. “I know you mean well, Grant, but—”

“No, Bev, I’m not saying these words to ease your conscience. Your involvement in these thefts was wrong, but it doesn’t mean your life is over.”

“You know, don’t you, Grant? I asked for Amy so I could say good-bye. Evan keeps a small-caliber pistol in the closet. I haven’t talked to him and he doesn’t understand, but the truth is I just couldn’t face him after what I’ve done. He’s not perfect, but at least he’s not a liar and a thief. I’ve shamed the Randall name.”

“It’s true, Bev, that what you did was against the law, and you have no choice but to face the judge with your crimes. But Bev, there is an area in your life where you do have a choice. How will you face God, Bev? Will He be your Judge or your Savior?”

“Grant, how can you speak to me about facing God after what I’ve done?” Bev cried. “It’s blasphemous! I’m dirty, Grant! Maybe at one time God would have welcomed me, but I’m sure He wants nothing to do with me now.”

“You’re wrong, Bev, so wrong. God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for the dirty, the wrong, the sinful. If we were able to cleanse ourselves before coming to Him, we wouldn’t need Him. Listen to me, Bev. I may not have taken money from anyone, but without the saving knowledge of Christ I would still be headed to hell.”

The harshness of his words fell on Bev’s mind like the blow from a hammer. “Yes,” she thought, “what I’m going through right now is awful, but there
is
worse—there’s eternity without God.” Bev Randall believed in an afterlife, and she knew she was not ready to face it.

Bev sank onto the edge of the bed and Grant pulled a chair close. “Bev, the Bible says all have sinned and fall short of God’s glory. It also says there is hope for man in the form of Christ Jesus. He died, Bev, for the sins that make you feel so dirty. And the Bible says you need only believe on Him to know His saving grace.”

“Oh Grant, I just don’t know. I haven’t prayed since I was a little child at my grandmother’s knee.”

“Bev, come as you are to Jesus Christ who loved you enough to die for you. ‘For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.’ ”

Bev looked at Grant and tears swam in her eyes. “Please help me.” She sounded like a helpless child, and Grant knew it was time. Bev Randall was ready to put her hand in God’s.

“It’s so simple, Bev. Just repeat after me and take God at His word.” Bev nodded, and Grant began. “Dear God in heaven, I know I have sinned and I’m not worthy of Your love. But I believe, God, that You died for my sins and I now give them to You. Please take my life in Your hands, Lord. And thank You for saving me.”

Bev dutifully repeated each sentence Grant spoke, and then Grant prayed when she was through. “Dear God, thank You for Your love and the miracle You have brought today in Bev’s life. Please God, stay with her as she faces the rough days ahead. Help her to remember that she is now Your child and You’ll be beside her. I praise You for Your Son, Jesus Christ, and His death for us. Amen.”

Grant and Bev lifted their heads simultaneously and looked at one another. The crowd could still be heard outside, and there was movement at the door as though the guard outside had shifted against it.

The sounds were only half-heard by the two people within as they concentrated on the life-changing miracle that had just occurred in Bev Randall’s heart.

When Grant broke the silence, his voice was gentle and reverent.

“Bev, if you believe what you just prayed, that Christ
did
die for you, then you’re now His child.”

Bev clasped her hands together, trembling with excitement, her voice little more than a whisper.

“Oh Grant, it’s not so scary now. I still have to face what I’ve done, but I don’t feel so alone.”

The two adults stood, and Grant gave Bev a hug. He felt a bit awkward, but Bev was smiling when they parted. Grant
needed to share one last thing. “You know, Bev, Maureen loved you deeply. She prayed daily that you and Evan would come to know her Savior.”

“I hope she knows now.”

“I’m sure she must be singing right along with the angels.”

A knock sounded and Bev called for the door to be opened. Evan came in hesitantly. “Evan,” Bev’s voice was more gentle than he’d heard in years, “I need to talk with you.”

Grant went out the door to find Silas and Amy waiting for him. They each had a final look within before the guard firmly closed the door. Evan and Bev were seated on the bed, Evan’s arm was around his wife, her head resting on his shoulder. They could hear her talking quietly, but without hesitation or fear.

Grant could see that Silas and Amy were full of questions, but now was not the time or place. They made their way through the house and, with most of the crowd gone, were soon headed for home.

Amy woke up feeling rested for the first time since Silas came back from town with the news of her Aunt Bev. The night they arrived home, milking and chores awaited them, but over supper each shared what they had seen and heard.

Amy wept openly upon hearing of her aunt’s salvation. Grant had asked Silas to lead them in prayer for Evan, whose heart had never made that step.

Grant had gone into town again the following day and returned with a lengthy report. He had seen Bev and Evan who were both holding up well and had had a long talk about the robberies with the sheriff.

The sheriff cleared up many questions and, once back at the farm, Grant relayed the information to Silas and his daughter. The discovery of who was actually behind the crimes was brought to light within hours of the Cooper brothers being arrested for the last robbery.

The men did not hold up well under questioning and soon told of the notes left for them in an old tree outside of town. Since all the notes had been saved, the sheriff could see he’d been in error in the way he’d reassured the townspeople. Every slip of paper pointed to someone at Evan’s bank being involved.

In a short time the sheriff had brought in a young bank teller and it was this person who confessed to delivering “off the record” reports to the banker’s home three times a week.

With this information, along with the brothers’ description of the unidentified black-cloaked rider who always made the money exchange, the sheriff had soon been on his way to arrest Evan Randall.

It was Bev who gave herself away—not that she would have allowed Evan to take the blame, in any case. When the sheriff arrived, Evan had been out and Bev had just immediately assumed she’d been discovered. The sheriff had relayed his conversation with Bev to Grant:

Bev, upon seeing the lawman’s stunned face, soon realized her mistake. The sheriff had no choice but to report all he knew and, late as it was, it didn’t take long for all of Neillsville to hear.

Silas and Grant with their work in the fields had dealt with the news better than Amy who suddenly had time on her hands as she alternately prayed and worried over all that had ensued. And always at the back of her mind was the knowledge that the crops were nearly in and Silas would be leaving.

Silas’ thoughts were identical to Amy’s. “The crops are in. Another day and I need to go home, and this time I have no reason to come back.” Silas wanted to weep just thinking about it. He found himself practically begging God to give him some time with Amy.

Certain that he knew how she felt, Silas just needed to talk with her for a spell. It might be the last time for quite a while. The time came that very morning, the day before he was scheduled to leave.

The weather was turning cold and, after spending days with canning and putting her garden up, along with the stress of Bev’s pain, Amy felt a desperate need to be out doors before winter set in and made being out miserable.

The big oaks at the top of the bluff looked inviting, and Amy bundled herself from head to toe and set out for her favorite spot. She had been sitting on a fallen log for less than half an hour when Silas joined her.

They sat in companionable silence for a time, both feeling good that talk wasn’t needed. The surrounding bluffs and farms stretched out before them, almost creating a valley. From their vantage point it was hard to believe there was life beyond the houses and fields they could see. And with the world so quiet and cold on this morning, it was even harder to believe people were hurting and life was not peaceful for everyone.

Silas eventually turned his head from the view and looked at Amy’s profile. Amy, feeling his look, turned and let her eyes meet his.

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” Silas didn’t know why he said it; she already knew.

“I’ll miss you.”

“Will you, Amy? Will you really?”

Her heart ached at hearing the wistfulness in his voice and she answered very gently, “Yes, I’ll miss you very much.”

She continued to look at him, and Silas believed he would drown in the crystal-clear blue of her eyes. As before at the train station, he moved slowly, giving her plenty of time to see his intent and draw away.

Amy’s heart melted within her as his lips touched hers, and Silas felt as though his own heart was going to pound through his coat as she leaned closer and didn’t pull away.

One second they were kissing and the next second Amy was gone. Silas stared up at her from his place on the log. She had leapt up and was staring at him with tortured eyes, her hands clenched so tightly together that her knuckles were white. Silas stood and reached for her as he spoke.

“Amy, please—”

“Don’t touch me, Silas—just don’t touch me.”

Standing in front of the log and holding his place, Silas spoke. “Amy, you must know how I feel. You must know that my feelings for you are deep. And you, Amy, what about you? Please don’t ask me to believe you don’t feel anything for me.”

“Of course I feel something for you. We’re friends.” The words sounded foolish and inane even to her own ears, but Amy couldn’t seem to help herself.

Silas looked furious. “Is that what you were just now when you let me kiss you—a friend?”

Amy shrugged helplessly, not even knowing herself why she had allowed the kiss. Silas drug off his cap and Amy watched him rake his hand through his hair, his frustration more than evident. Suddenly Amy felt angry and frustrated, too.

Taking him completely by surprise, Amy boldly stepped forward and pushed as hard as she could on his chest. Normally he would have hardly noticed the relatively slight pressure she put on him, but he was so surprised by her action that he took a step backward, forgot the log, and fell over it and onto his back.

“What did you do that for?” he bellowed from his undignified sprawl on the ground.

“Because you’ve ruined everything. We were such good friends, and you’ve just ruined it,” Amy cried in pure frustration.

Silas was off the ground in an instant, knowing his brother Paul had been right. Even as Amy had shouted at him in rage, he had seen the fear written across her face.

Amy retreated as he came toward her, and Silas stalked her until she was backed up against a tree. His expression was fierce but his voice was calm. “Take a good look at me, Amy Nolan, a very good look. I am
not
Thomas Blane. I am
not
going to declare my love for you and then marry someone else.”

Silas’ look grew extremely tender as they both stood still, his eyes drinking in the woman he loved. He cupped her face within his big hands before he spoke his next words. “I love you, Amy. I love you as I’ve never loved anyone. You would but need to crook your smallest finger in my direction and I would gladly carry you down this hill to the parsonage and make you my wife today.”

Silas felt as if a giant hand had reached into his chest and was attempting to squeeze the life out of his heart, so great
was his disappointment when Amy did not respond to his avowal of love.

Silas straightened and moved a few steps away from Amy, his voice, if not his face, betraying his anguish. “I’ll be taking one of your horses to the train in the morning. I’ll leave it with the livery nearest the depot.”

Turning as though he would walk back to the house, Silas hesitated. Amy hadn’t moved away from the tree, and Silas didn’t look at her as he spoke.

“Long after I get home I’ll love you. If by some miracle you realize you can return that love, know that I’ll welcome you with open arms and an open heart.”

Amy was very cold inside and out by the time she followed Silas down the bluff and back to the house. And for the first time she could ever remember, she did not feel like singing at the sight of her home.