Song for Silas, A (11 page)

The next weeks were spent in long hours of planting. As long as there was light in the sky, Silas was in the fields. Amy was back to doing most of the milking.

Silas worked out a deal with the man from the cheese factory who always picked up the Nolan’s milk. The man would haul the cans—not Amy. Amy protested, but Silas was adamant.

Silas had been furious to discover the man had let her do all the hauling for the two weeks prior to Silas’ arrival. They argued about it one day after the man left.

“I can’t believe he let you haul those cans. Can he really be that lazy?”

“Yes, I’m afraid he can.”

“Did your dad know about this?”

“Honestly, Silas, Dad had enough on his mind. I am a big girl, you know, and I can take care of myself.”

This was the real rub, and Silas knew it. He wanted it to be his place to take care of her. The subject was dropped, but it continued to bother Silas.

Silas had finally read his letter from Frank Chambers. As expected, he had not accepted the refusal Silas sent before he came to Neillsville.

With the farm work and emotional changes going on in Silas’ life he had given very little thought to Frank’s offer, even though Christine had warned him of the man’s persistency. He needed to continue in prayer regarding that offer. Frank had said to take his time and think it over. With all the unsettled things in Silas’ life right now, he needed to do just that.

Silas’ relationship with Amy was good, if not as comfortable as it once was. Silas smiled wryly to himself at the different way a man thinks of his little sister and the way he thinks of the woman he wants for his wife.

Little things he had never noticed about Amy before were becoming very dear to him: the way she chewed her lower lip whenever she was anxious about something; the way her voice took on a childlike quality as she prayed, so trusting and sweet; her concentration and sparkling eyes whenever she played the piano. These and so much more made up the whole of Amy.

Amy. Amy Cameron. Silas had tried the name out loud one day in the barn when there was no one to hear but the cows. He loved the way it sounded, but not knowing if it would ever come to pass was disheartening. He tried not to dwell on it.

He petitioned God constantly to give him strength and wisdom in this situation where he felt so helpless. Silas was unable to see it right now, but this time in his life was bringing him closer and closer to God.

There were even moments when he felt God had forgotten him, but they were brief. For even amid the pain of wishing for a life with Amy and not knowing if he would ever have it, was a sweet, peaceful knowledge that God had not deserted him and that His will for Silas was perfect and complete.

Grant was getting stronger every day. Each evening he and Silas talked about the planting and Grant was able to give much advice and encouragement from his many years in the fields. He fretted some, too, at not being able to man the plow himself.

The difference in the men’s ages came home hard to Grant when Silas reported each night how much he was able to do in a day. Even with Grant’s best team, those days were behind him.

But truthfully, he was not really very envious. He just asked God to let him walk again. This he prayed for with his whole heart.

Doctor Schaefer had been pleased with how well Grant had come out of his cold, but was worried nevertheless. He told Grant he wanted to see him up in a chair, increasing the time each day as he felt stronger. Doc informed them that he had lost more patients from a bedridden state because of their chest filling up, than by deaths resulting directly from accidents such as Grant’s.

It was during one of these times with Silas in the field and Grant sitting in the living room that father and daughter were able to talk.

Amy had just walked some food and water out to Silas— the last he would get until he came in for supper. When she returned, Grant asked how things were going. Knowing how close it was to milking, he was surprised when Amy settled into a seat.

“It’s going well, I think. Silas can sure cover a lot of ground in a day.”

“Yes, he’s a lot faster than your old dad.”

“I never think of you as old, Dad,” Amy said softly and then fell quiet. Grant waited and hoped. Amy would never know how long he had prayed for this time.

“There is something I have wanted to talk to you about, Dad, but I’m afraid you’ll be upset.”

“A parent has to be careful not to make any promises with a statement like that, but I will hear you out.”

Amy studied the man across from her. His sandy-brown hair was liberally streaked with gray. There were laugh lines at the corners of his eyes, and his skin was a permanent shade of red from years in the sun.

He was a wonderful father, and Amy knew he loved her dearly. Yes, he would hear her out; he’d always been fair.

Without introduction Amy began. “Uncle Evan asked me to come into town and live with them.” Amy paused, but Grant said nothing. Other than a slight lift of his eyebrows, his expression didn’t alter.

“I knew when he asked me that I didn’t want to, but I was so surprised I didn’t say a word. And then the last time I was with him, he said something that really bothered me. He said if my father really loved me he’d let me go. I’ve known for a long time that there was no friendship between you two, but I can’t stand the thought of having Uncle Evan believe the reason I’m saying no is because you won’t let me go.”

“Should you say no?” The question was spoken so calmly that Amy could only stare at her father.

“You mean you want me to go?”

“I want you to be wherever God leads you. As much as I’d miss you, I know Evan and Bev would take good care of you.”

“But Dad, what about you? Who would take care of you?” “Amy, honey, you must not build your life around me. What did you think would happen to me when you and Thomas moved into your own home—that I would wither up and die?”

“Well no, but, Dad, I just figured that the breakup with Thomas was God’s way of saying, ‘Stay here and take care of your father.’”

“Amy, do you really think me that selfish? I’ve been where you are—young and ready for love, and I found that love. Your mother and I loved one another deeply and when God gave us you, there wasn’t anything more in the world we would have asked for.

“I want you to experience the things that I have—marriage and family. I can’t imagine a man wanting a more wonderful wife than you would be. And when it comes to babies, well I’ve seen your face light up when you hold them at church.

“You know I’ll respect your decision about living in town or not, and there are no words to describe how much I would miss you if you go. But Amy, do not,
do not
base your decisions on a need to stay here and take care of me.”

“But it’s not just that. This is a good life here. I love it on this farm.”

“You’re right—it is a good life, we’ve been blessed many times over. But God may have a completely different plan for you, Amy, and I’ll not hold you back.”

There was silence in the room for a long time. Grant’s compassion for his only child was great and, even though his words had shocked her, they needed to be said.

Amy stood. “I best get to the barn.” Grant nodded. Amy hesitated and then walked to his chair. They hugged long and hard. “This is the only home I’ve ever known.”

“I know, honey, and I’m not pushing you out, but please don’t close your eyes to what God might have for you beyond these acres.”

Amy stepped back and held her father’s hand. She squeezed gently and said, “Thanks, Dad.” On these words she moved for the door.

The following day was Saturday, and Silas came in from the fields a bit early. Amy surprised both men at the supper table when she asked if Silas would take her to town after the meal. Silas assured her he would be glad to oblige. Amy then looked to Grant.

“You’re sure, Amy?”

“I’m sure. I should have told Uncle Evan the first day he asked me.”

Amy did a quick cleanup on the kitchen and they were able to leave while there was still light in the sky.

Neillsville on Saturday night was a busy place. In front of each saloon was a crowd, and the noise spoke of boisterous activity within. Amy was glad for Silas’ presence. A man would have to be crazy to challenge someone of Silas’ proportions— crazy or drunk.

Amy wondered a little at her decision to come into town at night, but she knew it was time to resolve this with Uncle Evan. She had prayed about little else since her talk with her dad and knew without a doubt the answer to her uncle must be no. If Amy was honest with herself, she did not really believe she would ever move away from the farm. The only reason she could think of would be to marry, and there were simply no men in the area in whom she was the least bit interested.
She knew her father meant well, but for now just knowing she would be able to settle things was peace enough.

The entire downstairs of the Randall mansion was lit. For a moment Amy thought her relations might be entertaining, but the carriage house was closed and there did not seem to be any extra vehicles about.

For the second time in Silas’ visit, he and Amy stood in silence at the Randalls’ front door. Silas did not need to ask how Amy was feeling. Her attempt at gnawing her lower lip off was answer enough.

Bev Randall was surprised but also very pleased to see Amy. She greeted Silas warmly and, after seating them in her elegant living room, rang for refreshments.

After the servant left them, Amy wasted no time in stating her purpose. “Aunt Bev, is Uncle Evan here?”

“No dear, he went out for a while. He didn’t say where he was going, so I really have no idea when he planned to return.”

Amy looked as distressed as she felt. “Is there something I can do, Amy?”

“Well, I’m not sure. I think I should tell Uncle Evan first but I…” Amy’s voice trailed away in uncertainty.

“Is it about your coming to live here?”

Amy nodded.

“Evan told me that he’d asked you.”

“You mean he didn’t discuss it with you before he talked with me?”

“Amy dear, your uncle rarely sees fit to discuss anything with me.” Bev smiled, but Amy thought she caught a trace of bitterness in her aunt’s words.

“I’m sorry he didn’t discuss it with you first. He should have,” Amy stated firmly and went on before Bev could interrupt. “I’ve come tonight to tell him no. I know the offer was made in love, but I want to stay on the farm. I’ve never had
a strong desire to live in town. I know Uncle Evan will think my dad is holding me back, but that’s not true. The farm is where I want to be and would be even if Dad had not been hurt.”

A servant entered the room then and served small sandwiches and cookies for three. Amy’s plate of food sat untouched, and she was quiet a moment as she sipped her coffee.

“Aunt Bev, I really wanted to give my answer to Uncle Evan. Please don’t be hurt, but I need to be able to express how I feel to him in person.”

“I’ll not even tell him you were here,” she stated in kind assurance. “You can tell him the next time you see him.”

“You’re not hurt?”

“No, I’m glad for the special relationship you have with Evan. You make your uncle very happy.” Amy knew the words were sincere, and she felt some relief from her heavy task.

They stayed a while longer with Silas joining into the conversation. Evan did not arrive before they left, and Amy resigned herself to the fact that she would have to deliver her answer to Evan Randall another time.