Son of Hamas (29 page)

My uncles waited anxiously for my father to disown me. When he refused, they turned their backs on his wife and children. But my father knew that if he disowned me, Hamas terrorists would kill me. And he kept his covering over me, no matter how deeply I had wounded him.

Eight weeks later, the men at Ktzi’ot Prison in the Negev threatened to riot. So Shabas, the Israel Prison Service, asked my father to do what he could to defuse the situation.

One day my mother, who had been in weekly contact since my arrival in America, called me.

“Your father is in the Negev. Some of the prisoners have smuggled in cell phones. Would you like to talk to him?”

I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t think I would get a chance to talk to my dad until he was released from prison.

I called the number. No one answered. I called again.

“Alo!”

His voice. I could barely speak.

“Hi, Father.”

“Hi there.”

“I miss your voice.”

“How are you?”

“I am good. It doesn’t matter how I am. How are you?”

“I am okay. We came here to talk to prisoners and try to calm the situation down.”

He was the same. His chief concern was always for the people. And he always would be the same.

“How is your life in the USA now?”

“My life is great. I am writing a book . . .”

Every prisoner was given only ten minutes, and my father would never use his position to get special treatment. I wanted to discuss my new life with him, but he didn’t want to talk about it.

“No matter what happened,” he told me, “you are still my son. You are part of me, and nothing will change. You have a different opinion, but you still are my little child.”

I was shocked. This man was unbelievable.

I called again the next day. He was sick at heart, but he was listening.

“I have a secret I need to tell you,” I said. “I want to tell you now, so you don’t hear it from the media.”

I explained that I had worked for the Shin Bet for ten years. That he was still alive today because I had agreed to have him put into prison for his protection. That his name was at the top of Jerusalem’s assassination list—and that he was still in prison because I was no longer there to ensure his safety.

Silence. My dad said nothing.

“I love you,” I said finally. “You will always be my father.”

Postscript

It is my greatest hope that, in telling my own story, I will show my own people—Palestinian followers of Islam who have been used by corrupt regimes for hundreds of years—that the truth can set them free.

I tell my story as well to let the Israeli people know that there is hope. If I, the son of a terrorist organization dedicated to the extinction of Israel, can reach a point where I not only learned to love the Jewish people but risked my life for them, there is a light of hope.

My story holds a message for Christians too. We must learn from the sorrows of my people, who carry a heavy burden trying to work their way into God’s favor. We have to get beyond the religious rules we make for ourselves. Instead, we must love people—on all sides of the world—unconditionally. If we are going to represent Jesus to the world, we have to live his message of love. If we want to follow Jesus, we must also expect to be persecuted. We should be happy to be persecuted for his sake.

To Middle East experts, government decision makers, scholars, and leaders of intelligence agencies, I write with the hope that a simple story will contribute to your understanding of the problems and potential solutions in one of the most troubled regions of the world.

I offer my story knowing that many people, including those I care about most, will not understand my motives or my thinking.

Some people will accuse me of doing what I have done for the sake of money. The irony is that I had no problem getting money in my previous life but am living practically hand to mouth now. While it is true that my family struggled financially, especially during the long stretches when my father was in prison, I eventually became a fairly rich young man. With my government-provided salary, I made ten times the average income in my country. I had a good life, with two houses and a new sports car. And I could have made even more.

When I told the Israelis that I was done working for them, they offered to set me up in my own communications business that would earn me millions of dollars if I would only stay. I said no to that offer and came to the United States, where I haven’t been able to find a full-time job and ended up practically homeless. I hope that someday money won’t be a problem for me anymore, but I’ve learned that money alone will never satisfy me. If money was my main goal, I could have stayed where I was and kept working for Israel. I could have accepted the donations that people have offered me since I moved to the States. But I haven’t done either because I don’t want to make money my priority—or give the impression that it is what drives me.

Some people may think I’m doing this for the attention, but I had plenty of that back in my own country too.

What was much harder to give up was the power and authority I had as the son of a top Hamas leader. Having tasted power, I know how addictive it can be—much more addictive than money. I liked the power I had in my former life, but when you’re addicted, even to power, you are controlled more than you control.

Freedom, a deep longing for freedom, is really at the heart of my story.

I am the son of a people who have been enslaved by corrupt systems for many centuries.

I was a prisoner of the Israelis when my eyes were opened to the fact that the Palestinian people were as oppressed by their own leaders as they were by Israel.

I was a devout follower of a religion that required strict adherence to rigid regulations in order to please the god of the Qur’an and get into heaven.

I had money, power, and position in my former life, but what I really wanted was freedom. And that meant, among other things, leaving behind hate, prejudice, and a desire for revenge.

The message of Jesus—love your enemies—is what finally set me free. It no longer mattered who my friends were or who my enemies were; I was supposed to love them all. And I could have a loving relationship with a God who would help me love others.

Having that kind of relationship with God is not only the source of my freedom but also the key to my new life.

* * *

After reading this book, please do not think that I have become some kind of super follower of Jesus. I’m still struggling. The little I know and understand about my faith came from Bible studies and reading. In other words, I am a follower of Jesus Christ but am only beginning to become a disciple.

I was born and raised in a religious environment that insisted salvation was all about works. I have a lot to unlearn to make room for the truth:

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

—Ephesians 4:22-24

Like many other followers of Christ, I have repented of my sins, and I know that Jesus is the Son of God who became a man, died for our sins, rose from the dead, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. I have been baptized. Yet I feel that I am barely inside the gate of the Kingdom of God. I have been told that there is much, much more. And I want it all.

In the meantime, I still struggle with the world, the flesh, and the devil. I still have misconceptions and confusion. I wrestle with what sometimes seem like invincible issues. Yet I have hope that I, like the apostle Paul who described himself to Timothy as “the worst of sinners” (1 Timothy 1:16), will become whatever God wants me to be, as long as I don’t give up.

So if you meet me in the street, please don’t ask me for advice or what I think this or that Scripture verse means, because you’re probably already way ahead of me. Instead of looking at me as a spiritual trophy, pray for me, that I will grow in my faith and that I won’t step on too many toes as I learn to dance with the Bridegroom.

* * *

As long as we continue to search for enemies anywhere but inside ourselves, there will always be a Middle East problem.

Religion is not the solution. Religion without Jesus is just self-righteousness. Freedom from oppression will not resolve things either. Delivered from the oppression of Europe, Israel became the oppressor. Delivered from persecution, Muslims became persecutors. Abused spouses and children often go on to abuse spouses and children. It is a cliché, but it’s still true: hurt people, unless they are healed, hurt people.

Manipulated by lies and driven by racism, hatred, and revenge, I was on my way to being one of those people. Then in 1999, I encountered the only true God. He is the Father whose love is beyond expression, yet shown in the sacrifice of his only Son on a cross to atone for the world’s sins. He is the God who, three days later, demonstrated his power and righteousness by raising Jesus from the dead. He is the God who not only commands me to love and forgive my enemies as he has loved and forgiven me but empowers me to do so.

Truth and forgiveness are the only solution for the Middle East. The challenge, especially between Israelis and Palestinians, is not to
find
the solution. The challenge is to be the first courageous enough to
embrace
it.

The Players

Mosab’s Family

Sheikh Yousef Dawood
–
His paternal grandfather

Sheikh Hassan Yousef
–
His father; cofounder and leader of Hamas since 1986

Sabha Abu Salem
–
His mother

Ibrahim Abu Salem
–
His uncle (mother’s brother); a cofounder of the Muslim Brotherhood in Jordan

Dawood
–
His uncle (father’s brother)

Yousef Dawood
–
His cousin, son of Dawood, who helped him purchase inoperative weapons

Mosab’s brothers
–
Sohayb (1980), Seif (1983), Oways (1985), Mohammad (1987), Naser (1997)

Mosab’s sisters
–
Sabeela (1979), Tasneem (1982), Anhar (1990)

Key Players (in order of appearance)

Hassan al-Banna
–
Egyptian reformer and founder of the Muslim Brotherhood

Jamal Mansour
–
Cofounder of Hamas in 1986; assassinated by Israel

Ibrahim Kiswani
–
Mosab’s friend who helped him purchase inoperative weapons

Loai
–
Mosab’s handler in the Shin Bet

Marwan Barghouti
–
Secretary-general of Fatah

Maher Odeh
–
Hamas leader and head of Hamas security wing in prison

Saleh Talahme
–
Hamas terrorist and Mosab’s friend

Ibrahim Hamed
–
Head of Hamas security wing in the West Bank

Sayyed al-Sheikh Qassem
–
Hamas terrorist

Hasaneen Rummanah
–
Hamas terrorist

Khalid Meshaal
–
Head of Hamas in Damascus, Syria

Abdullah Barghouti
–
Bomb maker

The Others (in alphabetical order)

Abdel Aziz al-Rantissi
–
Hamas leader; leader of the deportee camp in Lebanon

Abdel-Basset Odeh
–
Hamas suicide bomber, Park Hotel

Abu Ali Mustafa
–
Secretary-general of PFLP; assassinated by Israel

Abu Saleem
–
Butcher; Mosab’s crazy neighbor

Adib Zeyadeh
–
Covert leader of Hamas

Ahmad Ghandour
–
Early leader of Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades

Ahmad al-Faransi
–
Aide to Marwan Barghouti

Ahmed Yassin
–
Cofounder of Hamas in 1986; assassinated by Israel

Akel Sorour
–
Friend of Mosab and fellow prison inmate

Amar Salah Diab Amarna
–
First official Hamas suicide bomber

Amer Abu Sarhan
–
Stabbed three Israelis to death in 1989

Amnon
–
Jewish convert to Christianity and fellow prison inmate with Mosab

Anas Rasras
–
Maj’d leader at Megiddo Prison

Ariel Sharon
–
Eleventh prime minister of Israel (2001–2006)

Avi Dichter
–
Head of Shin Bet

Ayman Abu Taha
–
Cofounder of Hamas in 1986

Aziz Kayed
–
Covert leader of Hamas

Baruch Goldstein
–
American-born physician who slaughtered twenty-nine Palestinians in Hebron during Ramadan

Bilal Barghouti
–
Cousin of Hamas bomber Abdullah Barghouti

Bill Clinton
–
Forty-second president of the United States

Captain Shai
–
Israel Defense Forces officer

Daya Muhammad Hussein al-Tawil
–
French Hill suicide bomber

Ehud Barak
–
Tenth prime minister of Israel (1999–2001)

Ehud Olmert
–
Twelfth prime minister of Israel (2006–2009)

Fathi Shaqaqi
–
Founder of Palestinian Islamic Jihad and initiator of suicide bombings

Fouad Shoubaki
–
PA chief financial officer for military operations

Hassan Salameh
–
Friend of Yahya Ayyash, who taught him how to make bombs to kill Israelis