Something Wild (18 page)

"So maybe you understand a little more now about me coming here to settle down, wanting to walk the straight and narrow."

"Yeah," she said, looking a little guilty, although that hadn't been his intent.

"I'm not sorry, by the way. I'm not sorry about anything that's happened these last few days." In fact, Ryan was starting to have the niggling feeling that he'd gotten in too deep here.
So maybe I'm worried,
he thought,
but not sorry.

"I'm glad," she said, gazing lovingly into his eyes. And he didn't want to see that look, but it was there, undeniably, reminding him once more how much this mattered to her. And how much it could matter to him if he let it. But he
couldn't
let it.

"So while we're on the subject of me," he joked, more than ready to take their conversation to an easy, uncomplicated place, "I need help getting another area of my life in order."

"Don't tell me there's more to your saga?" she asked with a giggle.

"Afraid so." He attempted to look very grave. "All the walls and shelves in my condo are empty. Can you help?"

She gave him a playful yet prim expression. "Well, I do consider myself a young Martha Stewart."

"I was thinking," he said, although the idea had just popped into his head, "that maybe I could talk you into helping me decorate my condo. After work tomorrow? I want the place to start looking like someone actually lives there, but I'm not really an interior decorating sort of guy. Know what I mean?" And considering all the thoughts about ending their relationship that raced through his head, the idea sounded positively ludicrous, but there it was, and he was dying for her to say yes.

"I'd love to," she said.

He smiled, already looking forward to it. "And I'd offer to make dinner for you when we're done, but I just remembered, I only have beer and butter in my refrigerator."

She smiled back. "Clearly, decorating isn't your only homemaking deficiency. Although this explains why you think grilled cheese and Doritos qualify as a meal. Why don't we hit the grocery store, too?"

"You wouldn't mind doing that with me?"

"Not at all. I'd hate to picture what you'd whip up using beer and butter."

"That would be great," he said.

So now they'd made their next plans, they knew when they'd be together again, and for Ryan, that usually meant it was a good time to call it a night. Yet it was so cozy cuddling with her on the couch, and he knew from recent experience it was even better snuggling naked with her beneath the sheets. Her eyes were so sweet peering up at him that it made it hard to leave.

"So," he said, leaning over to place a tiny kiss on the tip of her nose, "would you care if I, uh, stayed the night?"

She shook her head lightly, spoke softly. "No, Ryan. I'd like that."

He'd suspected she would, of course, and he wished he'd done it only to please her, but he hadn't. Staying over was the one mistake he'd not committed with her so far, yet knowing he would hold her all night now and wake up to her smile in the morning made it all too easy.

* * *

Friday was usually a busy day at the Two Sisters Pub, as weekend events at the Convention Center often started then, and more people decided to eat out. Still not having heard from Martin, Penny placed one last phone call to him that morning before things got hurried, and she listened to that irritating message one final time. But tomorrow Martin would be home and phone calls wouldn't matter anymore. She wondered if this horrible waiting was karmic punishment for what she'd done while he was away.

After hanging up, though, there was little time to think about Martin, and not even much room for Ryan in her mind once the lunch rush began. Still, knowing she would see him in a couple of hours gave her an extra burst of energy. She was looking forward to their excursion tonight. Something about helping a man shop for groceries and organize his home seemed … personal. Of course, they'd already gotten more than a little personal, but to Penny, this felt as if Ryan was inviting her into his life. She had no idea how things would shake out once Martin returned, but tonight's get-together had given her hope where before there had been none, or at least only a little.

She felt bad leaving Patti, considering the lunch crowd still hadn't waned by one-thirty. But Patti assured her she had it under control and would call in an extra bartender for this evening if business warranted. Penny had told her sister what she and Ryan were doing tonight, and Patti had acted as if they were going to pick out china patterns together. "Oh, Pen, I'm so happy for you," she'd said, giving her a hug.

Ryan showed up at her house at two o'clock as scheduled, and just like every time Penny saw him, her heart nearly burst. He kissed her hello, held her close, and smiled. "So," she said, twining her arms around his neck, "is that a mouse in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

Confusion shadowed his eyes. "A mouse?"

"A computer mouse," she said with a laugh.

"Ah." He leaned his head back in understanding, then laughed, too. "That's very funny, but, uh … couldn't you have picked something a little bigger?"

Grinning up at him, she tilted her head in thought. "Okay, is that a … hard drive in your pocket?"

Ryan grinned. "That's more like it, and yes, I'm
very
glad to see you."

They'd both agreed that to start working in his office at this point would still be a bad idea. Now that they had a hard copy of her notes, it might've been more convenient, but Penny worried about Martin's other employees seeing them together. She feared if they spent time in the rest of the staff's presence, they might slip up, and give away their secret.

As things were, they already knew they worked well at Penny's house, so after sharing another kiss or two, they took their respective places at Penny's desk and got down to business.

Three hours later, they'd covered a lot of ground, yet had barely made a dent in the pub's menu. "See," he said, "I told you this would be the long part."

Yet Penny didn't mind. She loved working with him, and she wouldn't complain if they never finished.

"But it's enough for today," he told her, "and besides, we've got a big night of groceries and decorating ahead of us. Still up for it?"

She nodded. "Of course."

"Then I guess I should head down to the office. The sooner I go, the sooner I can meet you at the condo." With that, he pressed his spare key into her hand and Penny closed her fist around it. He'd explained earlier that one of Martin's clients had called this morning requesting a short meeting late today, so Ryan had promised to see the guy. He'd offered to come back and pick up Penny afterward, but she'd suggested that she drive to his place on her own while he was busy, to check out the space and think about decorating possibilities before he got home.

"1201 in Adam's Landing," he reminded her. "Sure you know how to get there?"

It was one of the poshest new developments on the river. "Absolutely."

"And, uh, try not to be intimidated by all the boxes sitting around."

"Maybe I'll start unpacking some," she said, then caught herself, wondering if that was too personal an offer to make. "I mean, if you don't mind. If you'd rather I didn't—"

He shook his head. "I don't mind at all. That would be great, in fact."

"You're sure you want me snooping through your things?"

"I've got nothing to hide. No velvet handcuffs or anything like that," he said with a wink.

Penny playfully punched him in the arm, then kissed him goodbye, all the while thinking that despite her initial mortification, sharing heart-shaped handcuffs with Ryan had turned out to be incredibly sexy.

* * *

"What a fabulous place," Penny told Ryan when he arrived at his condo an hour later. She stood looking out the plate-glass window that covered the front wall of the living room, the view of the river and the bridges that crossed it almost as breathtaking as the one at the park.

"Thanks." He stepped up beside her for a moment, then turned to toss his jacket over the back of a leather recliner before loosening his tie. "It's pricy, but I like it. So, did you get any great decorating ideas?"

"Well, there's a little shop near my house with lots of candleholders and mirrors that would fit great here. After we go through your boxes and get things into place, maybe we can plan a small shopping excursion."

"Sounds good."

"By the way, I started unpacking your dishes into the cabinets. If you don't like where I put things, we can rearrange them."

He smiled. "I'm sure I'll love it. I was avoiding that job because I couldn't decide where everything should go."

"Oh, and your answering machine is blinking."

Ryan spun toward it, then pressed the playback button. "Hey, Ryan, it's your big brother. Just called to see how the new job is going. Mom said you liked it, but that you're not eating right." The brother laughed good-naturedly. "Give me a call sometime."

Ryan raised his eyebrows. "That's surprising. I hardly ever hear from Dan."

It made Penny recall the conversation they'd had about his family; she thought he had his parents pegged all wrong. "Will Dan or your mom and dad come visit? See your condo?"

He shook his head. "I doubt it. Dan and I aren't close, and Mom and Dad are basically homebodies, not into long car trips or big cities. And they'd probably find this place a little extravagant. They like simpler things."

"So do I," she reminded him. "But this place is wonderful."

"Still, like I told you, my parents and I are worlds apart. They're in the old world and I'm in the new. They have very old-fashioned values."

She flinched at the words, surprised at how hard the thought of being "old-fashioned" struck her.

"What's wrong?"

She sighed. "Well, until a few weeks ago I guess I thought of
myself
as someone with old-fashioned values. But now…"

Ryan gave her a scolding smile, then pulled her down onto the dark, leather sofa. "It's okay to be versatile, Penny. It's okay to have your own ideas and feelings about things."

"But when I imagine the looks on my parents' faces if they could see what we've been…"

He tilted his head. "You're not
supposed
to imagine that, honey. Don't go there. As long as the things you do feel right to
you,
then that's right enough."

Penny considered what he'd said. She wasn't sure how she'd ended up on this ride where one minute she was announcing how wanton and sexually free she was and the next, recanting, worrying about it. She supposed it was just a difficult transition for the ultimate good girl to make. Yet Ryan was going through it with her. He had started exploring her fantasies with her just as she'd dreamed, and now he was helping her get her emotions in place, too.

"Maybe you'd do well to remember those words yourself, Mr. Pierce," she said, thinking of all he'd shared with her last night.

He gave her a knowing smile. "Okay, are we talking about my parents, or are we talking about me, you and Martin?"

"I don't know. Maybe all of it. Maybe we should all just be a little more trusting of our feelings sometimes."

"And not worry about who gets hurt or what anyone thinks of us?"

"I didn't say
that.
But I think there must be a happy medium, and the trick in life is finding it."

Ryan simply nodded, but where he and Penny were concerned, he didn't know how they were going to reach any such ideal medium. He understood how what she was saying applied to his relationship with his parents—that if he liked his life and knew he'd done his best, that should be enough. He also understood how it applied to her recent self-discoveries—if she liked herself, that was all that mattered. But when Martin entered the picture, things weren't nearly so cut-and-dried.

"Well," he said, having had enough of this inner contemplation, "as soon as I get changed, we can venture out to the store."

"I checked out your fridge and pantry," she told him as he got to his feet. "You've got a lot of room, so we can stock up and you shouldn't have to do this again for a while."

He grinned down at her. "I've said it before and I'll say it again—you're a woman after my own heart."

It was a revelation that was starting to trouble him, he realized as he made his way to the bedroom. After waking up to her pretty eyes and tousled hair this morning, he'd thought about her as he'd driven home to shower, then all day at the office, too. He'd even found himself popping into the lobby for no good reason around lunchtime, hoping to catch her daily sandwich delivery, but he'd missed it.

And the sex. Every single time it blew his mind. He never got used to the way it felt to be inside her, the way his soul ached when she moaned for him. Even just kissing her made him feel like a lovesick teenager.

So much for settling down in Cincinnati, he thought, as he slid a burgundy polo shirt over his head. But then, if not for the wild parts, and if not for the risk factors, he supposed this could feel quite settled. Once they got past the sexual frustration, everything with her had come so easy—relaxing in the park together, eating together, talking in bed, even telling her about his parents and Dan, and about losing his job at ComData. Every time they were apart, Ryan found himself thinking about her, looking forward to the moment they'd see each other again.