Smolder (22 page)

“I’m
sure,” she purred, moving her mouth up to nibble on my ear. “Make love to me,
baby.”

I
lost any resolve I had left when I heard those words leave her lips. I turned
my head and captured her lips with mine and immediately slid my tongue into her
mouth.

Unlike
our kiss earlier, she wasn’t holding back, she wasn’t afraid, she wasn’t
unsure. She wanted me as much as I ached for her and I truly believed that
being together was exactly what we needed.

She
lifted my shirt up past my torso and I grabbed the back of it and pulled it the
rest of the way over my head. She gasped in pleasure as she stared at my bare
chest just before running her fingers across my abs and dipping them into the
front of my jeans. My body was already tight with need but once her fingertips
grazed the top of my erection, I was instantly rock hard.

Sadie
lifted her arms and once I helped her out of her shirt I quickly unfastened her
bra and tossed both items to the floor. She lay back on the bed and lifted her
hips, allowing me to slide off her sleep bottoms and panties in one movement.

As
I quickly slid off my jeans and boxers, I was overcome with desire and emotion
as I looked at my gorgeous wife lying on our bed, completely naked and waiting
for me to take her and I almost lost it. I never expected to fall in love with
my best friend and I could kick my own ass for not letting it happen sooner.

I
climbed on top of her and she parted her legs in invitation and I moaned at the
feel of her bare skin against mine…God she felt like heaven. She was already
soaking wet with need as she arched her back and cried out in pleasure when I
slid a finger inside her scorching hot body.

Sadie
looked up at me with pleading eyes and I knew without her uttering a single
word that she thankfully didn’t want to drag this out with any foreplay and I
was glad for that. The past few months had been trying for both of us but we
needed to heal each other and this was the way we knew how to do it.

I
pulled my finger out of her and quickly replaced it with my throbbing erection,
slowly easing into decadent body. Her eyes rolled back and her lashes fluttered
and when she bit her lip and sighed in pleasure, I knew that I was going at the
right pace for her. Even if she’d wanted me to go hard and fast I knew I
wouldn’t have been able to, given everything she’d been through physically with
the loss of the baby so I took my time and made love to her like she needed me
to. As we both took our time relishing in each other with our bodies raced
toward ecstasy, I was finally starting to feel like we’d be able to make it
through this heartbreaking time in our lives because as long as we had each
other, I knew we’d be okay.

Sadie

It’s
funny how much can change in the span of just one year. This time a year ago my
biggest worry, besides work, was whether or not Jude would ever love me more
than a friend. In what seemed like the blink of an eye I had fallen even deeper
in love with Jude, got married, sustained a head injury, found out I was
pregnant, suffered the loss of the baby, and was practically catatonic for six
months after. I always knew things could change with the blowing of the wind
but I never knew I’d experience such joy and sadness in such a short time and
it completely took the breath out of me.

After
the miscarriage I’d become a complete mess and depending on what day it was I
was either Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. Everyone was worried about me, none more
than Jude, but I didn’t care. In my mind no one could possibly be hurting as
much as I was because I was the one that carried the baby and watched it
starting to grow inside me. Everyone tried to help me cope, especially Jessie,
who knew exactly what I was going through. Losing a child herself had almost
destroyed her dreams of motherhood and she was the only one that was able to
handle me most days. Looking back on everything, I was incredibly grateful to
not just her but everyone I loved for still loving me back even when I just
wanted the world to swallow me whole.

Eventually
things seemed to be getting back to normal, if you could call it that, and I
started going to functions like I used to but my smile was completely plastic
and fake. Jude insisted on missing the Grammy Awards that year because the
ceremony was right after the miscarriage but when we’d attended other award
shows and red carpet events, I kept that lid screwed on tight and smiled as if
I were okay, even though I was anything but.

I
was in so much pain myself that I didn’t even let myself see that Jude was
hurting just as much. I was so selfish to forget that this wasn’t just my baby
but that it was his baby too. The moment I really let myself think of someone
other than me was the moment I felt my pain intensify. I never wanted to hurt
Jude in any way but I had been doing exactly that ever since we lost the baby.
I’d been wanting to talk to him about everything but considering how awful I’d
treated him I was afraid that he was going to push me away. However, when I
woke up that morning to the sound of Jude leaving the room after he’d kissed my
cheek and left me breakfast in bed, I knew that I had to do whatever I needed
to do to make us right again.

Thankfully
Jude didn’t pull away from me when I apologized and after we talked things out
we spent the rest of the afternoon in our bed tangling up the sheets. I had to
admit that as much as I missed being in his arms, I was a little nervous to
make love with him again. As always, Jude took any fear I had away with a
simple touch and we picked up right where we left off. For the first time in a
while I finally felt like things would be okay and that my heart was ready to
heal. I was beyond lucky to have such an incredible man by my side, unwilling
to give up on me when I gave up on the world.

“You
know, we’re going to have to eventually leave this bed at some point,” I said
to Jude as I snuggled into his side.

“Says
who?” he asked, kissing my hair. “We have a lot of time to make up for,
princess.”

I
giggled before answering, “Yes, we do, in all aspects. However, you and I
aren’t the only ones that need to make up for lost time.”

“What
do you mean?”

“I
mean that I didn’t just shut you out. I pretty much tried to push everyone away.”

“Sadie,
they’ve been here all along loving you just as much as I have. You went through
something pretty traumatic and everyone understood that you just needed some
time.”

“Well
that time’s up. I want to plan a huge apology dinner and invite everyone. The
Eternal Down guys, Shona, and Jake and Olivia. I want everyone here.”

“Even
Jagger?” I grumbled. “I’m still pissed at him.”

“I
know you are, big guy, but you have to let that go. He’s still my friend.”

“Let
it go? Are you kidding me? Sadie, you could’ve been killed because of his crazy
need to prove he was in love with you.”

“He’s
never really been in love with me, babe, he just loved the idea of me. We
worked all this out back then and we’re fine. Despite him making some pretty
dumb assed decisions, Jagger’s a good guy, Jude, and you need to move past it
and remember that I’ve always loved you, never him. Besides, I’m pretty sure
that I’m not the girl he wants anymore,” I said with a smirk.

“What
makes you so sure?” he asked.

“Really?
Do you not see the way he and Shona can’t stop staring at each other every time
they’re together? Every single event, concert, award show, movie premiere, or
anything they’re at together they stare like the other is a fucking porterhouse
steak and think no one notices,” I laughed. “Besides, they slept together back
in December.”

Jude
sat up a bit and looked down at me. “They what? And you’re just telling me
about this now?”

I
smiled and replied, “Calm down, girlfriend, you would’ve known eventually.
Besides, why do you care? You said you don’t like Jagger.”

“I
don’t. I do, however, like Shona a lot and I think she could do better than a
whore like him.”

I
tossed my head back and laughed before I kissed his chest right above his
heart. “Jude, you’re really good at playing the pot and kettle game, aren’t
you?”

“Shut
up,” he said, turning so he was lying on top of me, nestled between my legs.

“Mm,
why don’t you make me, big guy?” I challenged, wiggling my hips just right and
I could feel his erection start to swell.

“Oh
I think I can handle that dare, baby,” he growled before covering my mouth with
his and taking my body even higher than it already had been.

A
week later, everyone was gathering at our house for the dinner I’d planned. I
of course hired a caterer to deliver all of the food because there was no way I
was going to cook anything I expected anyone to eat. I loved my family and
didn’t plan on poisoning or killing them with my cooking.

The
food was set up in the dining area and the table had just been set when
everyone started arriving. As nervous as I was to apologize to everyone, I was
just as equally happy to see them too and it made me happy that they all came,
even Jagger. He actually looked good, all things considered. He had more color
in his cheeks and had put on some weight (in a good way). His arms seemed
bulkier and his shoulders were much broader than the last time I’d seen him and
I had to wonder if it had anything to do with a certain red-haired Irish
goddess.

I
was amazed the most by the children and how much they’d grown in the blink of
an eye. It hurt to be around them sometimes, so sadly they’d suffered from my
loss as well and I was ashamed of that. I needed to apologize to them as well,
even though they probably wouldn’t know what I meant. Max was the spitting
image of Ryder in every way except for his lips, which he inherited from
Everleigh. He was walking now (running was more like it) and, like Harlowe, was
nearing the “terrible twos” phase. He was babbling more and more and it was pretty
funny to try and carry on a conversation with him. Harlowe looked exactly like
Danni but she had Beau’s warm, chocolate eyes and thick lashes and was
beautiful in every single way. Her blonde curls were gorgeous and bounced with
every step she took and I knew when she grew up she was going to be a total
heartbreaker. Kallum looked a lot like Jessie when he was born but the older he
got the more he resembled Kris. His hair was lightening and he had the most
captivating eyes I’d ever seen (other than Jude’s of course). They were an
incredible mix of blue and green and it was almost hard to look away from them.
I felt bad for the girl that ended up falling in love with him because once he
looked at anyone with those eyes of his, the girl was sure to be a goner.

“Wow,
this all looks incredible Sadie,” Danni said to me as we walked into the dining
room. “You’ve done a great job making this look more like a home and less of a
bachelor pad.”

“Well
it’s not been a bachelor pad for a while, but I did the best I could,” I said,
smiling. “I’m just glad I didn’t find any panties crammed in places while I was
redecorating.”

“Ugh,
yeah, you’re lucky. You’d have needed a hazmat team to come in and clean with
the amount of girls that Jude used to have parading through here,” Jessie added
as she walked up behind us. “Thank God he finally woke up, right?”

I
smiled and sent up a silent thank you myself as I replied, “Yes, thank God.”

“So,
what is this dinner all about? I am so glad that you invited all of us over but
I’m pretty sure it’s no one’s birthday or anything,” Beau asked as he put his
arm around me.

“Can
a girl plan a big dinner for her family without it being about something?” I
asked him.

“Normal
girls can. You, on the other hand, usually have a reason behind everything you
do,” he teased, hugging me into his chest. “Seriously, kid, is everything
okay?”

“Everything’s
fine, big brother, I promise,” I replied. “I just love all of you and wanted to
spend some time with my family…
all
of my family.”

At
that moment Jagger came walking into the dining room followed by Cash and
Logan. I noticed Zayne hanging back in the living room and he was on his cell
phone. For the first time in what seemed like the whole time I knew him, he was
actually smiling. He had the phone pressed to his ear and when he turned and
caught my gaze, he winked at me and I smiled back at him. I was dying to know
what that was about and was determined to find out before the left tonight.

Beau
smiled at me before hugging me and taking his seat at the table next to
Harlowe, who was seated in her high chair next to Danni. As everyone was taking
their seats at the table, I walked into the kitchen to check if there was
anything I forgot and I felt Jude’s arms wrap around my waist and trap my body
to his.

“Hello,
love,” he murmured against my neck as he trailed light kisses up and nibbled on
my ear lobe. “The dining room looks beautiful.”

“Thank
you,” I whispered, my body getting tight and goose bumps popping up on my arms.
“I really hope tonight goes well and everyone forgives me for zoning out.”

“I
think the fact that they all came at the drop of a hat, especially since the
guys in Eternal Down live in New York, means that there was never anything to
forgive.”

“I
hope you’re right,” I replied, turning in his arms and wrapping mine around his
neck. Sighing as I looked into his smoldering eyes, I asked, “Do you know how
much I love you? I mean, really?”

“Well
if you take that love and times it by twenty, you might be a little closer to
how much I love you. I didn’t know who I was until I found my way to you,
Sadie. Loving you has been the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt and having
your love is the most precious thing I’ll ever own. All I’ll ever need is you.”

“Oh
Jude,” I whispered, hugging him tighter. “I think for once you’ve rendered me
speechless. I don’t even know how to top that.”

“Wow…you
mean for once I have the last word?” he said, pulling back to smile at me.

“Well
I guess it was bound to happen sometime,” I replied and he chuckled.

“True.
What do you say we get this dinner going so we can get back to working on
starting our family?” he asked with a sexy gleam in his eye. “I can’t wait to
knock you up and see you waddling around the house, screaming at me to get you
ice cream and pickles.”

I
smiled as my heart swelled with love. After everything we’d been through and
how hard this subject was, it actually made me feel so much better to have
things go back to normal and us joke around like we always had. I didn’t want
him walking on egg shells around me and to hear him joking about getting me
pregnant again actually made me feel more normal that I had in months.

“I
can’t wait for that either. Let’s feed these heathens so you can feed me your
dick later,” I said and I couldn’t contain my laugh as his eyes widened and his
body stiffened.

“No
fucking fair,” he growled as I walked into the kitchen still laughing and he
called after me, “you’re going to pay for that later!”

“I’m
counting on it, big guy!” I called back, giggling as I grabbed a few bottles of
wine that were chilling in the refrigerator.

As
I walked back into the dining room, I took a long look at all of my family and
friends that had gathered around our table. Ryder, who lost his parents at such
a young age, was able to take that pain and help a beautiful girl through her
own loss and find an amazing love that led to their incredible son. Everleigh,
a girl without a family, charmed a bad boy rocker and found a family in all of
us. Kris and Jessie, who had been literally through hell and back to find their
happily ever after, finally achieved the only thing in life they’d ever wanted;
creating a new life from their incredible love. Danni, who had loved my brother
as a fan before even meeting him, came into his life and saved him from himself
by loving him harder than anyone ever had. Beau, who was an amazing brother and
always made sure I had the best of everything he could ever give me (even when
he had nothing to give but his time and love), was finally happy with a
beautiful wife and an amazing daughter.