Smolder (18 page)

“It’s
okay, man, truly. It took you long enough to realize it,” Ryder replied.

“Tell
me about it,” I laughed.

“So,”
Jude said as he cleared his throat, “am I still out of the band?”

Kris
sighed and answered, “Of course not, Jude. There is no Bad Blooded Rebel
without all four of us. Beau was just mad when he said that, we all know it.
This is going to take him some time to work out but trust me, no one is going
anywhere.” I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that I wasn’t going to lose one
of the most important things in my life, next to Sadie.

“So,”
Jessie asked, “since we missed the actual wedding, does this mean we get to
throw you a reception?”

I
grinned at the idea as Everleigh and Danni exchanged excited looks. As happy as
I was being married to him, I did love the thought of having a reception to
celebrate our marriage with our closest friends and family.

“Why
don’t you let her get home from the hospital and heal before we plan anything?”
Jude asked, smiling at them.

“But
you’re at least letting us do something for you, right?” Jessie asked, crossing
her arms. “I mean, at this point I think you owe us.”

“Are
you trying to guilt me, Mrs. Engle?” Jude asked her.

“Damn
right I am,” she replied and we all chuckled. “However, I do agree with you
that Sadie needs to get better before we do anything so I think it’s best if we
all let her get some rest.”

“Oh
come on, don’t go yet. I’ve been resting for two days,” I replied, not wanting
them to leave. Despite the lingering tension with Beau, I was happy that this
was all out in the open and I wasn’t ready to say good night yet.

“We’ll
be back tomorrow, Sadie, you can count on it,” Danni said, walking to me and
hugging me. “I’ll bring Harlowe by in the morning, she’ll be happy to see her
Aunt Sadie.”

“Oh
yes, I need baby cuddles. Bring the boys by too,” I said to Jessie and
Everleigh and they both agreed. Everyone took turns saying their goodbyes and
after Jude walked them to the door and closed it behind them, it was just us.

“Well,
I hope you’re hungry, princess, because I ordered half the menu,” he stated as
he walked back toward my bed.

“Good,
I’m starved,” I said as I leaned my head back on my pillow. As I watched him
unpack a large bag of takeout food, I smile dreamily and was suddenly overcome
with emotion. I was happily married to the man of my dreams and finally
everyone knew. I was free to be in love and share it with the world. I felt
tears stinging my eyes and before I could try and compose myself, two tear
drops fell from my eyes. When he looked up and caught my gaze, he froze.
“Sadie, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,”
I smiled, wiping my eyes just before another tear fell. “I just love you so
much.”

“Aw
baby,” he replied, wiping my tears gently with his fingers, “I love you too. I
always will.”

“You
better,” I answered, smiling, and he chuckled softly before furrowing his brows
together.

“Are
you sure you’re feeling okay? I know you’ve been through a lot in the last few
days, but you’re not really an emotional girl.”

“I
am when it comes to you. I guess I’m just feeling overwhelmed in every way. The
truth is out now. Everyone knows we’re in love and married and even though Beau
is still being stubborn, everyone is okay with it. I finally have the life I’ve
always dreamed of with the one man I’ve ever loved and I guess it’s just
hitting me. I’m so happy,” I answered, more salty tears spilling down my
cheeks.

Jude
smiled and he leaned in and kissed me before saying, “Not as happy as I am,
princess.”

“I
know this is going to sound bad but I’m just waiting for the other shoe to
drop. I feel like something is going to happen that will mess this all up,” I
admitted.

“Sadie,
you just survived a blow to the head. I think the bad shit is behind us,” Jude
said lightly, trying to make me feel better.

“I
know, but-”

“Stop,
Sadie. Everything’s fine, trust me. I’ll work this thing out with Beau, Jess
and the girls will throw us a reception when you’re better, and we’ll live
happily ever after, I promise. It’s smooth sailing from here on out. Do you
trust me?” he asked.

I
sighed and replied, “Of course I do.”

“Then
relax and eat some of this food I know you’re dying to rip into,” he said with
a wink. “You sound like there’s a tiger trying to escape out of your stomach.”

I
hadn’t realized how loud my stomach was growling until just then so I smiled
and reached for the carton of French fries he had taken out of the bag.

“Oh
yeah, gimme,” I said and he grinned as I stuffed a few fries into my mouth.
They were the most delicious thing I could ever remember eating and I moaned as
I devoured the whole container. He took the seat next to my bed and we sat
together in my hospital room eating and laughing with me trying to shake off my
sudden unease. I did trust Jude with my life and if he told me things were
finally getting better then I was going to do my best to believe him.

The
next day I had finally convinced Jude to get out of the hospital and take some
time for himself. He’d been at my bedside holding vigil ever since I was
admitted and he was in desperate need for some fresh air so I suggested he take
a little break and stretch his legs. When he refused, I threatened to withhold
sex from him for longer than the doctor suggested and just like the typical
man, he decided it was probably a good idea to take a break. After he left, I
started to feel a bit sleepy from the pain meds they had me on so I decided to
take advantage of the quiet and take a nap.

I
fell into a dreamless sleep for a few hours and when I woke up, I felt rested
for the first time in days. I stretched out my arms and groaned from how stiff
my muscles were from lying in bed for too long. I opened my eyes and when I
turned my head to see if Jude had returned, I gasped when I saw Jagger slumped
into the chair next to my bed with his eyes closed. He was obviously sleeping
and when I looked at his face, I actually felt sad. He had some serious
five-day stubble, bags under his eyes, and his usually perfect hair was a mess.

I
frowned and reached my arm out to wake him. “Jagger, wake up,” I whispered as I
placed my hand on his forearm and shook him. After a few moments, he moaned and
blinked a few times before he looked at me. When his eyes caught mine, he
jolted awake.

“Sadie,
shit,” he said, rubbing his jaw. “Sorry, I must’ve dozed off.”

“It’s
okay,” I replied. “When did you get here?”

He
looked at his watch and replied, “Mm, maybe a half hour ago, I guess. I was
waiting for you to wake up.”

“Well
here I am,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.

He
weakly smiled at me before falling silent for a long moment, then beginning
with, “Sadie, I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Jagger-”

“Don’t…just
don’t. Let me get this out, okay?” he asked and I nodded. “I didn’t mean for
anything like this to happen. I tried to back off, let you have your space and
time to figure out if you had any feelings for me, but when I saw you at the Christmas
party in that dress, something happened to me. My drunken, cloudy mind wasn’t
letting me think straight and I had to get you alone. I was convinced that
you’d dressed sexy for me and that you finally wanted me like I’ve wanted you
for a long time,” he blurted out, his voice thick and heavy with emotion.

“Jagger,
I’m so sorry,” I said, guilt suddenly rushing through me and feeling my
emotions start to take hold.

“When
I saw you walk toward the kitchen I thought I’d finally gotten my chance to be
alone with you but when Jude walked in and I saw you touching his arm, I
snapped. I said some shit I shouldn’t have said and Jude had every right to
attack me. I know you were just trying to break up the fight but when I saw you
stumble back,” he said, pausing before continuing, “Sadie, I think my heart
stopped.” I wanted to say something but I couldn’t. His face was careworn and
his eyes were so sad and I couldn’t stop the tears that welled up and started
spilling down my cheeks.

“I
swear to God I never thought anything like that would happen. I just saw red
when I realized you and Jude were together and I couldn’t stop myself from
fighting back. I was just so mad that I couldn’t see straight and…” he trailed
off, the lump in his throat silencing him.

“Jagger,
you need to stop. I don’t think for one minute that you meant for me to get
hurt at all. The whole thing was just one big mess.”

“Yeah,”
he mumbled.

“I’m
sorry I didn’t tell you that I was in a relationship with Jude but at that
point, hardly anyone knew and we were planning on telling everyone the next
day. I just wanted to get through the party first and then this happened. I
didn’t want you to find out like this, Jagger.”

“Well
you could have at least told me you had a thing for him, Sadie, and I’d have
backed off.”

I
snorted and replied, “Please, Jagger, everyone knew I was in love with him. You
can’t pretend you didn’t at least have an idea.”

“Well,
now that I look back, it was kind of obvious but I guess I just blocked it out
because I loved you too.”

“What?”
I asked, shocked. “Jagger, come on, you didn’t love me.”

“Yes
I did. I still do,” he said sadly.

I
shook my head as I sat up in my bed.

“No
you don’t, not really. I think you’re just in love with the idea of me. You
want a woman that can go toe-to-toe with you and not back down and even though
I’m pretty stubborn, I’m not the girl you really want. You just loved the chase
and we both know it.”

He
thought about it for a moment before asking, “Then why do I feel so shitty
knowing you’re in love with someone else and that I lost you?”

“Jagger,
you didn’t lose me. I’m still here and I’ll always be your friend, but that’s
all it’ll ever be. I love Jude more than anything in the world and I’m happy
with him.”

“I
know,” he replied sadly.

“The
right woman is out there, I promise. You just need to let go of this grip you
have on me and let it happen. Just focus on yourself for a bit and she’ll find
you.” Just as he was about to reply, there was a knock on my door.

“Come
in,” I answered, smiling reassuringly at Jagger. I looked up as the door opened
and a smiling Shona walked into the room carrying a huge vase of orchids.

“Hey
there lovey,” she said as she walked toward my bed. “I was hoping you’d be
awake.”

“Yay,
it’s Shona,” I said, grinning. “I was just sitting here wondering when a hot
Irish chick was going to come to my room.”

Out
of the corner of my eye I noticed Jagger stiffen and when I glanced at him I
noticed his face had a bit more color than he’d had a few moments before. When
Shona looked at the chair and saw Jagger sitting there, her cheeks instantly
turned about twenty different shades of red.

“Oh,
I’m sorry, Sadie, I didn’t know you had company. I can just come back,” she
said shyly before her eyes darted quickly to Jagger, the floor, and then to me.

“Uh,
no, it’s okay Shona, I was just leaving,” Jagger said, standing up. “I’ll let
you two talk. Sadie, I’ll see you later,” he said, rounding the bed and gently kissing
my forehead.

“Jagger,
you don’t have to go,” I said.

“It’s
okay, I’ll just let you girls catch up.”

Sighing,
I said, “Okay, but think about what I said, okay?”

Smiling
at me, he replied, “I will. See you,” he said. As he passed Shona, he muttered
a hasty goodbye and quickly left the room.

Shona
set the flowers down on a table next to my bed with shaking hands and I grinned
at her as she smoothed out her shirt before she stepped to the chair Jagger had
just vacated and nervously sat down.

“Those
are beautiful,” I told her, grinning brightly. “Thank you.”

“You’re
welcome, love,” she replied. “How are you feeling?”

“Much
better. I can’t wait to get the hell out of this place. I’m going stir crazy in
here.”

“Oh,
I bet so. Well, you look beautiful if that helps cheer you up,” Shona stated,
smiling.

“It
does, thank you,” I replied, eyeing her suspiciously.

Shona
ran her hands through her long red hair and I noticed they were still lightly
shaking as she placed them on her lap. After nervously blowing out air through
her lips, she asked, “S-so, Jagger was here, huh? How was that?”

“It
was just fine,” I replied, trying my hardest not to chuckle. “We talked things
out. We’re cool.”

“Yeah?
Good. I’m glad you got everything sorted.”

“We
did,” I answered. After I saw her fidgeting with her hands and tapping her foot
on the floor, I finally asked, “So, when did you two sleep together? Was it
recent?”