Smoke and Fire (13 page)

That could be because she'd seen him and Lexi together beforehand. Regardless, it made her breathe easier.

If only she could relax when she was with Ryder.

*   *   *

Con turned the corner into the kitchen and watched Kinsey walk away.

“How much did you hear?” Lexi asked him.

“All of it. I was about to come in for food when I spotted Ryder on the stairs. I decided to wait.”

Thorn leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at the doorway where Kinsey had departed. “I think she might still care for Ryder.”

“I know she does.” Con saw Lexi's eyes widen while Thorn's head swiveled to him.

It was Lexi who asked, “How do you know that?”

“Just watch the two of them together. It's obvious.”

Thorn nodded slowly. “It's true she went out of her way to stay away from him so they didna accidentally touch.”

“While Ryder remains near her,” Con said.

Lexi picked up Kinsey's plate and brought it to the sink. “Are you going to try and keep them apart?”

It wasn't in Con's nature to share such things. He was going to refuse to answer, but changed his mind at the last minute. “Kinsey's fear of Ryder's true nature will no' allow her to accept him.”

“She could get over her trepidation,” Lexi said, but Thorn was already shaking his head.

“I agree with Con,” Thorn said. “Kinsey wasna just in the middle of a war with the Dark Fae, who she didna even know existed until recently, but she saw the man she cared for shift from a dragon. Her mind willna be able to acknowledge such things easily. I believe Kinsey when she said that whatever might've been between them is gone.”

Con saw the argument on Lexi's lips, but she kept it to herself. This was another case of how different the Kings were from mortals.

Humans were tenacious in their need to hold onto hope. Whereas a Dragon King realized the futility and let it go.

Kinsey was a complication Dreagan didn't need. The sooner she was gone, the better. It was why a handful of Kings were scattered throughout England, Scotland, and Ireland looking for Ulrik or anyone connected to him.

Con heard Ryder's voice in his head, heard the anxiety. He raced up the stairs with Thorn right behind him. They rushed past Kinsey before she reached the computer room.

Dmitri and Henry were in the room as well. Con looked at each of them as Kinsey walked around them, a curious frown puckering her brow.

“This can't be happening,” Henry said, his English accent thick. His plain brown hair was sticking up at odd angles. His clothes were rumpled, and he had a full beard from not shaving. Lines of strain bracketed his mouth. Dark circles were under his eyes, but it was the stunned and shaken look in his eyes that caught Con's attention.

Even the normally cool Dmitri seemed dismayed by whatever was on the monitor.

“Ryder,” Con said.

Ryder lifted his eyes to Con and used his hand to swipe across the screen. The pictures went onto the wall behind Con.

Con turned to the pictures. The first one showed Henry with a much younger girl as he walked her to school. They were both smiling. They had the same nondescript brown hair and hazel eyes, the same plain features that allowed them to blend in anywhere.

Next to that picture was one of the girl several years older walking into The Silver Dragon.

“She told me she declined MI5's offer,” Henry said.

Ryder's chair squeaked as he leaned back. “Perhaps she did.”

“MI5 or Ulrik? Both are bad,” Henry said, his voice rising.

Con felt the weight of more troubles settle on his shoulders. After all Henry had done for Dreagan—was still doing for them—Con wasn't going to sit back and not help. “We'll get to the bottom of this,” he promised.

“I've hacked into MI5 files before,” Kinsey said. “I can do it again. We'll be able to determine if she really is working for them.”

Henry tried to smile as he looked at her. “I don't know who you are, but thank you. I tried using my clearance, but I didn't find anything.”

Ryder nodded to Con as Dmitri vacated the chair and Kinsey sat. “While Kinsey is doing that, I'm doing a search in Ireland.”

“Oh,” Henry said to Ryder and rubbed his eyes. “I almost forgot. I was on my way to see Con when I got your text. There's been massive movement of the Dark in Ireland.”

Dmitri shook his head, mumbling, “Bloody hell.”

“Come.” Con motioned to Henry. “Let's leave Ryder and Kinsey to their work.”

As they left the computer room and Henry began to talk, Con felt the strain of everything teetering precariously. One wrong move and all they'd worked for and built could be destroyed.

He didn't worry about dying. The Dragon Kings would live through anything the humans tried to kill them with. But his men had already lost so much. Their homes, their way of life, their families, and their dragons.

If this new world they'd lived in for millions of years was yanked from them, Con wasn't sure what would happen. They could all turn on the mortals.

And Con wasn't so certain he wouldn't join them.

 

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Kinsey waited until it was just her and Ryder before she pulled her chair forward and asked, “Who was that man with the English accent?”

“Henry North. He's a friend who also happens to work for MI5.”

She was so shocked that she stopped typing and turned her head to Ryder. “What? Are you serious? You trust him?”

“He's been our friend for many years, and he's proven himself on many occasions when we've needed help. Aye, we trust him.” Ryder rubbed his temple, something he did when he was worried.

Kinsey looked back to the virtual keyboard. “It'll take me a few minutes to hack in. Though I'm sure you could do it quicker.”

“You're verra capable of hacking MI5.”

She couldn't help but think he was just giving her work to do. Kinsey knew all too well that Ryder could have six projects going at once and not be deterred at all.

Still, she felt pride from his words. She timed herself, and did a little mental jig when she got into MI5's computers in less than two minutes.

“Who am I looking for?” she asked.

“Esther North.” Ryder leaned over to look at her monitor as she keyed in the name.

Though Kinsey didn't know Henry, she was hoping that his sister wasn't part of MI5. But within seconds her picture popped up on the screen with red letters across it reading D
ECOMMISSIONED.

“Dammit,” Ryder said and raked a hand through his hair.

Kinsey scrolled through the file. “I'm sorry. I was hoping we wouldn't find her, but from what I'm reading, she was very good. Almost as good as Henry, from what her reports state.”

“Henry is one of the best.”

“How do you know he's not spying on you?”

Ryder rolled his chair next to hers. “We don't allow just anyone into our home. Do you know when Esther was decommissioned?”

“She was with MI5 since she was eighteen. It seems they recruited her right beneath Henry's nose.”

“He's no' going to like that.”

Kinsey wouldn't appreciate it either if it were her sister. She'd be furious enough to want to take physical action against such people. “They practically put her in the field immediately. She had less than a few months' training before she was working as an undercover agent.”

She scrolled through some more while she and Ryder read. Most of it was about her missions and how well she did. Her superiors all raved about her ability, comparing her to Henry on multiple occasions.

“She just stopped working,” Ryder said when they came toward the end of the file.

“There's nothing more.” Kinsey checked to make sure nothing was hidden. “Just her last mission, and then she was decommissioned.”

Ryder's frown deepened. “What was her last assignment?”

A sick feeling came over Kinsey when she read, “Ireland.”

“Henry doesna need this.” Ryder shoved his chair back to his station and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “He's barely holding it together now.”

“What's wrong with him? He looks sick.”

Ryder dropped his hands to his thighs and slid his gaze to her. “I guess you could say he is sick, in a way. He made the mistake of falling in love with a Light Fae. Her name is Rhi, and she's a friend. We warned him to keep his distance, but humans can no' help themselves.”

“Did she take part of his soul?”

“They didn't have sex. They kissed, but that's all it took for Henry to fall in love.”

Kinsey felt her stomach grow queasy from all the grease from the bacon. “Gotcha.”

“Henry has been searching for Rhi for months. He willna give up, and it's only going to cause him more heartache in the end.”

Kinsey knew all about heartache. She'd spent months—years!—pining after Ryder. She understood all too well what he was feeling.

Kinsey had even tried to use her skills to find Ryder, just as Henry was searching the world over for Rhi. Oh yes, she could sympathize with him on everything.

“We can't keep this from him,” Kinsey said. “He knows we're looking into his sister. He'll be here soon wanting an update.”

“It'll likely do him in. I'd rather no' do that to a friend.”

“And he'd rather have the truth,” she argued. “A lie will only prolong the pain. The truth is always better. Even if it's difficult to say.”

Ryder released a long breath, his gaze going to the ground for a heartbeat. “I wanted to tell you who I was, Kins. I'm sure you doona believe me, but I did. I wanted you to know everything.”

“Then you should've told me.”

Regret filled his eyes. “I couldna.”

“You knew me, Ryder. You knew I'd never have shared such information.”

“It doesna matter. We have a code for a reason. It might seem senseless or trivial, but had you endured the war with the humans as we did, you'd understand.”

She leaned back in her chair as she stared at the picture of Esther North. Would they bring her to Dreagan if she was in danger? Henry was their friend, so they might very well do just that.

It made Kinsey think about her talk with Lexi and Thorn that morning. There were other women at the manor. Several, in fact.

“Tell me, did every Dragon King wait until they were mated to their women before they showed them who they really were?” she asked.

The silence lengthened between them. Kinsey didn't look away from the monitor. She didn't want to see Ryder's face or any emotions that he might try to hide.

Her heart thumped in her chest, and her blood iced with nervousness. Because she knew the answer. She only wanted Ryder to admit it to her as well as himself.

Tears stung her eyes. She hastily blinked them away. Hadn't she been good enough for him? Wasn't their closeness enough?

The night she came home to find the note on the table she had been going to tell him she loved him. Kinsey could still feel the hollow ache in her chest from discovering he'd left her.

She had fallen to her knees, the paper crushed to her chest as she cried. Desolation, despair. Anguish. She'd been bombarded with those emotions, battering her until she was no longer strong enough to stand against them.

Her world turned gray and bleak. When, days later, she managed to pick herself up and try to find Ryder, she found no trace of him.

Ryder hadn't been the first man to end a relationship with her, and Kinsey had ended her fair share as well. But it was the sheer depth of her love for him that affected her so deeply.

It wasn't until that moment when she finished the letter and comprehended that he was gone that she realized how fragile a heart could be, how profoundly she could love.

How acutely she could hurt.

Three years later, that pain remained. It became a part of her, closing around her heart, blending with her muscle, sinking into bone.

It molded her, shaped her.

Changed her.

And yet it teased her from time to time in her dreams with memories of Ryder. Or worse—hints of what her future could have been with him.

How callous a heart that once loved could be. It hardened to keep anyone out, then cruelly opened the door in dreams to remind her how vulnerable she truly was.

Deep within her frozen heart was a tiny kernel of hope that continued to live. It was dying a slow, agonizing death though. When it was gone, Kinsey would finally be free of the heartache that lingered.

“No.”

She blinked and frowned when Ryder's word reached her. It took her a moment to remember she'd asked him a question. So he finally admitted that the other Kings hadn't waited to tell their women who they were.

It was a victory for her. Why then did it feel like the worst defeat?

“I doona want to lie to you anymore,” Ryder said.

Kinsey sat up in her chair and placed her fingers on the virtual keyboard. “That's reassuring.”

“I've hurt you again.”

She snorted and shot him a flat look. “I knew the answer before I asked the question.”

“You wanted me to admit it.”

“Of course.” With a punch of a key, she moved her search to another monitor. There she began to dig into Kyvor's servers. She might get lucky and find something in an e-mail, because people were just that stupid sometimes.

Ryder turned to face her. “You've changed.”

“Time changes everything.”

“I did this to you.”

Kinsey stopped typing. She then slowly turned her head to him. “Yes, you hurt me, leaving the way you did. But I'm not some broken thing you can claim and fix.”

His brow furrowed. “That's no' what I meant.”

“It certainly is. As you've said, you've lived for millions of years. You want to be the hero to the damsel in distress, but let me be the one to burst your bubble. I'm not a damsel, and if I were in distress, I could save myself.”