Smashed (7 page)

“I don’t claim to know what’s best for Alexa. Unlike you, I’d rather allow her to make her own decisions.” Holding both hands up in invitation, Sinclair taunted me. “So is this it? Are you going to kill me? Just another decision made for Alexa, right?”

The son of a bitch was crossing the line. His knowing jab struck me in a raw place. I hated him so much more for being right.

I threw the punch without thinking. It connected with enough force to bounce him off the bar. The people standing nearby were quick to move. Nobody wanted to be in the way of a vampire fight.

Sinclair rubbed his jaw and shrugged. I felt him reach for his power. He was humming with the stink of it.

“No power,” I said. “Just you and me. Come on.”

The bastard laughed, a long, forced laugh that died on a sour note. “Is that why you came? So you could make yourself feel better by sending me back to her with broken bones? All right then. Let’s get this over with.” He paused, considering his next words. “It’s funny how you think you’ve got a right to be pissed. Every night she’s with me, she’s pining for you. And you’re the one who’s mad? Fuck that.”

The punch he threw came hard and fast. It momentarily stunned me. The bartender shouted at us to take it outside. We both ignored him.

“You’re taking advantage of her,” I accused, swinging first one fist then the other. The satisfying crunch of his nose beneath my knuckles wasn’t enough. “There is nothing she can learn from a batshit crazy bastard like you.”

Our hands were a blur as they flew. Each of us took as many hits as we landed. It felt good, like I’d needed to work this out for some time now. The damage was temporary; we would both heal quickly. However, the pain I was able to cause him in the moment did wonders for me on a therapeutic level.

“That’s right, Arys. Get it all out. Let me have it.” With blood dripping from his nose, Kale egged me on. “Show me how crazy it makes you to spend your days wondering if Alexa is in my bed.”

To follow his snide remark, he threw a right hook that snapped my head sideways. I caught the next one that came my way, twisting his wrist until I felt a pop. He only grunted.

Crazy people didn’t make the best brawl opponents. They were too unpredictable. I never saw it coming when he flipped me over his shoulder. Using my own momentum, Sinclair ducked a shoulder beneath me, effectively scooping me up and tossing me onto the floor. It would have winded a human, but as I didn’t need to breathe, I was on my feet, whirling to face him.

Finding Shaz standing between us with hands raised was unexpected.

He held a hand out toward each of us. “Have you idiots both completely lost it?”

Like a petulant child, Sinclair muttered, “He threw the first punch.”

In a sudden move neither of us anticipated, Shaz threw a heavy fist at Kale, knocking the vampire back a few feet.

“Sorry,” he said, shaking his hand and cursing. “I owed you that one.”

Rubbing his jaw, Kale stared stonily at the ballsy wolf but didn’t retaliate. Raw, unfettered hatred slid from him to taint the atmosphere.

“What are you doing here?” I demanded, turning my anger on the wolf pup.

“Stopping you from making an ass of yourself from the looks of it.” His green gaze darted back and forth between us as if he was afraid to look away from either one of us for too long.

“Go home, Shaz. You shouldn’t be here. This is no place for wolves.”

“Don’t fucking go there,” he warned before turning his focus on Kale. To him he said with a scowl, “Where’s Lex?”

“Enjoying some time alone,” Kale replied with a vicious smirk. “Though I can’t imagine why she would want to get away from all of us. Can you?”

It was both awkward and painful to be standing there with the both of them. I hated what we each represented, the different pieces of who she was. Inside I knew that she and I were one, made as two parts of one whole. Yet staring at Shaz and Sinclair, I knew it just wasn’t that simple. The burden of our bond was the endless cycle of conflict that Alexa and I were destined to share. It made our love a thing of beauty colored with pain and torment.

“That’s not an answer.” Shaz appeared calm though I knew he could snap in a heartbeat. “Why doesn’t she want to see us?”

“Us?” I echoed. “Or you?”

Sinclair cast a scathing glance at us each in turn. “You two are really pathetic, you know that? Your concern seems incredibly trivial and selfish.”

“I guess you would know.” It wasn’t the most clever of responses, but I wasn’t feeling particularly witty. I was fuming, needing to release the mounting frustration.

“I can’t tell you why she’s not ready, just that she isn’t and that you both need to respect that. What I can tell you though,” Sinclair paused, meeting my gaze with a vicious smile, “is that she still tastes like wolf.”

I snapped. That kind of taunt just could not go unpunished. Hurling myself at him, I was a blur. Shaz’s shouts were lost amid the rest of the noise. People shrieked as we crashed into them, knocking them about in the commotion.

Justin and a few other staff members jumped into the chaos. It took seven vampires to split us up. Somehow I retained enough sense to keep from blasting them all to hell. My hands burned with blue and gold, taunting me with the part of her that lived within me.

“Fuck,” I hissed, wrenching free of Justin’s bear-like grip.

Unable to look at Sinclair’s face another second, I stormed from the building with enough fury that people got out of my way as they saw me coming. I couldn’t destroy him. I just could not let my rage drive me to that point because, as much as I’d enjoy it, Alexa would be devastated. I couldn’t do that to her.

Like salt poured on the wound came the unwelcome awareness that Kale and I were not so different. Rumor had it that he had stepped in to deal with the rebels on my behalf while I was away in Vegas. He had thwarted an assassination attempt on me, and he had only done it for Alexa. The same way I was now sparing him for her.

I asked myself, as I had so many times before, why did I bother? Why did I fight so hard for this woman? The answer was always the same. She was what made me more than a vampire, more than a creature of the night. She gave me purpose and meaning. Without her, I was nothing.

Before Shaz could grab my arm, I spun to fend him off. “Go home, pup. This is a bad time for you to be here.”

“Don’t start with me, Arys. I’m not the enemy. At least, not tonight.” He fell into step beside me.

“No, the enemy is me. I did this. I made her vampire, and I drove her into Sinclair’s bed.” I stopped suddenly and held my hands out. “Want to take a shot at me too? You might as well. You always want to.”

Shaz grinned but it lacked mirth. “Not always. Usually, but not always. You could’ve really taken things from bad to worse in there.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t. I do have some self-control, pup, regardless of what you may think. Although I’m about to go and lose that control now.” I cast an angry glance back at The Wicked Kiss. That name itself had been the bane of my existence long before I knew Alexa.

Suspicion curved Shaz’s lips into a stern frown. “Should I ask?”

“I’d rather you not. Is there somewhere else you can be? Neither of us should be here tonight.”

My expression remained neutral as did my tone. It was no concern of mine what Shaz did. Not really. And yet, it was. No way in hell was I leaving him to become a victim of The Wicked Kiss again.

“Yeah, actually I’m heading to Doghead.” He took a few tentative steps toward his car, unwilling to take his gaze off me, as if he didn’t think it was a good idea. “So, I’ll catch you later then. Call me if anything comes up.”

Alexa. That’s what he meant.

“Will do. Take it easy.”

I waited for him to get in his car and drive away. I hated to doubt him, but he was not going to fall back into the blood whore scene. Not on my watch.

Truth be told, the pup had grown on me over the last year. Sure he made me want to hit things in a way very few others did, but he had proven himself to be worthy of both respect and Alexa.

I knew damn well that if I had only lived a human life, I would never have lived in her lifetime, but Shaz still would have. Our twin flame union survived outside the natural law. It was meant to exist, but it came at a price, which ultimately meant that Shaz was the one she was meant to be with. Not me.

That’s what made everything so fucking complicated. She was mine, meant to be mine, and yet she was also his. I’d accepted it from the start. What choice did I have? Shaz was still coming around. And Alexa, well, she was understandably conflicted and more than likely ready to tell us all to fuck off.

Shaz was the only one though. The only man I could share her with. The only one I trusted to take care of her if something ever happened to me.

Alexa had recently gotten it into her head that she needed to distance herself from him. I did not agree. She was feeling guilty about things that were not within her control. It would pass.

When I was sure Shaz was long gone, I too left. No sense sticking around now. My encounter with Kale had gone exactly as planned. Unfortunately, it hadn’t left me feeling as good as I’d anticipated.

As I’d told the pup, I sought out a scenario in which I could abandon self-control and unleash the horrible need to feel something die. Less than an hour later, I had a grown man on his knees begging for his life.

Needing to punish someone in Kale’s place, I had sought out that person at a biker bar. It was a location guaranteed to breed assholes in need of a beating. Or worse.

It was ridiculously easy to instigate a fight. In the parking lot of a seedy bar, I released the killer within. Begging served only to add fuel to my fire. Reducing a monster of a man to a sniveling wretch brought me only a moment of pleasure. Still, it was enough.

After it was over, I stared down at the dead man. His blood decorated my face. I tasted it on my lips. Had he deserved to die this way? Hell if I knew. I was beyond caring.

I never considered getting rid of the body. It was massacred. Nothing about the mess I’d made indicated an obvious vampire kill. It was someone else’s problem now.

The awareness of being watched settled over me. Vampire. Not only that but a vampire I had created.

Forgetting the dead biker, I slipped down the street, continuing on until I felt the presence follow as I’d expected. Only when we were safely away from human eyes did I turn and confront my watcher.

He was tall and lanky with long hair the color of black drugstore dye. Having lived only nineteen human years, he was remarkably powerful for one so new. Thanks to my blood and his own dark powers, he emanated an almost palpable force.

“What do you want, Gabriel?”

Gabriel held up both hands in a show of peace. “I just want to talk, Arys.”

I regarded him as if he were no more than an inconvenience, which he was. Turning him had been a choice made out of necessity rather than want. It had been a small price to pay to get rid of Shya’s mark.

“So talk.”

His presence caused me to be wary. He was Shya’s pet, but worse than that, he was also a deadly weapon. Anyone who aligned themselves with a demon could not be allowed an iota of trust. That was a level of darkness that few descended to. I might have been dark, but I wasn’t sell-my-soul dark. Or maybe that was wishful thinking. Either way, Gabriel was a threat, and I was prepared to treat him as such.

“I felt like I had to find you,” he said, standing awkwardly with one hand grasping the wrist of the opposite arm. “Obviously it’s because we’re linked. I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry shit got so crazy. I don’t want you to see me as an enemy.”

Though his body language was less than confident, his tone was strong. One day he could make a great vampire. Provided he survived long enough to master his many abilities without losing his sanity in the process.

“Your closest ally is the demon who just tried to sacrifice the woman I love. That speaks for itself.” I half expected the demon in question to make an unwelcome appearance.

“I guess it does,” he agreed. Shuffling his feet, he stared at the scuffed toes of his running shoes. It was a strong reminder that he was so young. Almost human still. But now he was a vicious killer.

“Where is Shya anyway?” I asked. “Still off licking his wounds?”

Gabriel raised a brow and a thin smile changed his face into something almost malicious. “Oh, he’s around.”

“I’ll take that to mean that he’s lying low because Willow now has enough power to make Shya his bitch,” I chuckled.

“I didn’t come to talk about him. I came to talk about you.”

“What about me? If you’ve got a point, kid, get to it. I have places to be.” Crossing my arms, I issued a silent challenge: impress me or get lost.

“I’m sure that I’m just tempting fate by even being here, but I was sure you or Alexa would hunt me down. And since you haven’t, well, I need to know where I stand with you. Are you going to kill me? Or…?”

It was ballsy; that was for sure. Gabriel’s courage was impressive. However, I figured it had more to do with the fact that he spent a lot of time with demons. I suspected that he didn’t see me as much of a threat anymore, assuming that we were on an even playing field. He was wrong.

I doubted his true intentions were to find out if I wanted him dead or not. If anything he’d been sent by his demon master to do a little recon. If Shya thought Gabriel had an in with me because I’d turned him, he was mistaken.

To prove this, I snapped my fingers, pleased when Gabriel dropped, his hands going to his head as he cried out in pain.

“Do you think I’m stupid enough to believe you came here to make peace with me? You’re just a puppet with a demon’s hand up your ass. Give me a break, kid.”

“No,” he grunted. “I’m here of my own free will. Shya has nothing to do with this. I swear.”

I was disappointed when he didn’t fight back. I knew he had it in him. When he continued to cower there clutching his head, I eased up. It was just no fun if they don’t fight back.