Smashed (5 page)

He stared at me with wide, eager eyes. He leaned into my touch, enjoying the tight grip of my hand in his hair. Arousal surrounded him like a puff of smoke. Wisps of it reached to taunt me, testing my control.

With my free hand, I traced a finger over the vein in his neck, feeling the pulse throb beneath the surface. Already I was impatient for the moment when I would spill Shaz’s blood. I longed to have that heady wolf nectar racing through me.

There was only one thing missing. Alexa. With her between us, Shaz and I moved in tandem, anticipating the other’s actions and moving to accommodate. We worked as a team, a natural ebb and flow of power with her acting as the conduit between us. It was magical.

I felt her absence in a poignant way. Finding an echo of my emotion mirrored in Shaz, I jerked myself out of my moment of self-pity.

With more aggression than intended, I tugged Shaz’s head to the side and fixated on the glorious expanse of his neck. The sound of his heartbeat grew louder in my ears. His excitement encouraged me.

Unable to resist the urge, I pressed my mouth to his warm flesh and dragged my tongue over the surface. The clean, salty taste of him unleashed a torrent of desire within me that the human victims from hours ago had failed to do. The ghost of Alexa’s wolf took notice of her mate and pawed at my insides.

Shaz let out the breath he’d been holding in a long, gratified sigh. I took advantage of his lusty response to me and teased him with a slight scrape of fangs. He shuddered and groaned, flooding me with erotic energy that I happily swam in.

There were so many places I could take this wolf if he would only let me. It wasn’t the first time I’d imagined such things. His ferocity and virility made him a very desirable partner. One like Shaz couldn’t truly be victimized. He was much too fierce for that.

Finally I decided that I’d driven the energy level high enough. Needing to extinguish the flame that threatened to burn out of control, I bared my fangs and bit deep. Shaz stiffened and gasped. Blood bubbled up around my fangs, and I withdrew them to capture it with my tongue. The rush of drawing on both his arousal and his blood had my erection straining against my pants.

Sucking at the wound resulted in Shaz slumping against the back of the couch. He slung an arm around my neck, holding tight as I swirled my tongue over the bite.

Jenner’s sudden return shattered the moment. He strode into the room clad in only sweat pants, running a comb through his short hair. He stopped short at finding us locked in a forbidden embrace. The surprise on his face was fake. I knew he’d felt it the second I called the power to enthrall Shaz.

We broke apart. Shaz leaned as far away as he could get, given the tiny amount of space he had on the couch. Licking the blood from my lips, I moved away, to the recliner chair that was my favorite.

“Sorry for the interruption,” Jenner said though he was far more amused than apologetic.

“Sure you are.” I shot him a venomous glare.

Ignoring me, Jenner fetched the laptop from the kitchen table and took it into the spare bedroom. What a bastard.

I studied Shaz, feeling like I should say something but not knowing where to begin. For a long time he sat there in silence, staring unblinking at the coffee table.

“Why doesn’t she want to be here with us?” Finally he spoke though he didn’t look my way. “What could possibly keep her from being where she belongs?”

I considered the best reply, settling on the truth. “Shaz, you can’t take it personally. It’s fear that keeps her away. Fear of me, of what I did to her. And fear of what she’ll do to you. Only time will heal that wound.”

“How can that possibly happen? Too much time apart will break you both down. It’s happening already. We are the ones who keep her balanced. I can’t stop asking myself why she’d rather be with him instead.”

Shaz sat stiffly, his shoulders slumped. This whole ordeal was giving him a complex. If Alexa didn’t come to her senses soon, she might very well cause irreparable damage.

“She’s running, Shaz. I spent several decades doing the same thing. It was hard to accept what she and I were to one another. I ran from the truth too.” I paused, seeking the best way to make him understand. “The longer she’s with him, the more obvious it will become to her that she doesn’t belong there. And all we can do in the meantime is wait.”

Long after Shaz left, I sat in the recliner with my sketchpad on my lap and pencil in hand. I’d forced two cups of coffee into him, ensuring he was all right to drive before turning him loose.

All things considered, Shaz was handling this all pretty well. His acceptance of my role in Alexa’s death was surprising. He’d fought every revelation so far. Something had changed in him during his time away. It was both impressive and disconcerting.

My mind wandered as the sound of the pencil scratching against the page filled the silence. The last year had brought with it much change. A little more than a year ago Alexa and I had come together, igniting the spark that bound us, setting so much in motion.

Waiting for that moment to happen naturally had been hell. For three years I’d made it my business to be in her life, to let her know that I was here and watchful. I could only hope she would feel what I felt. For a while I hadn’t been sure. Putting myself in her path had earned me some distrust on her part. Eventually that wall had come down. Making the decision to find her had been one of the most trying I’d ever made. It had cost me a lot.

I could still see the look on Harley’s face when I had told him I was leaving. We had been in the lavish estate he owned outside of Vegas. A harem of men and woman lounged about, ready and willing to please their vampire master.

Harley had sprang out of a bed full of people, naked and angry. “What the hell do you mean you’re going to Canada? Is this about that fucking werewolf? The bitch doesn’t even exist, Arys. It’s all in your head.”

“And if she does?” I challenged, ignoring his attempt to intimidate me with his overbearing presence and hard, black eyes.

“You’re crazy, you know that?” He snarled, grabbing a robe viciously from a waiting servant. Tying it loosely about his waist, he rounded on me with an ugly mask of accusation. “All you ever think about is yourself. Has it ever occurred to you that I need you here?”

The irony of his accusation wasn’t lost on me. Having the most selfish vampire I’d ever met call me selfish was growing tiresome. “How can you possibly need me?” I gestured to the fantastic display of human toys lying about the house, waiting for their master to play with them again. “It looks like you have your hands full. I’m sure you won’t miss me at all.”

A nude woman with long hair and perky breasts sidled up to offer herself to the both of us. Harley inclined his head, silently asking if I would partake with him. I shook my head. My bags were packed.

“My flight leaves at midnight,” I said. “I’ve let you hold me back long enough. This is something I have to do, and if you can’t understand that then we don’t have anything left to say to each other.”

Harley’s gaze narrowed, and he shoved the woman away. Advancing on me, he got in my face, testing my restraint. “After everything I’ve done for you for all of these years, you just up and leave me?” Harley looked aghast, as if he hadn’t known this was coming. “How could you?”

I stared at him, wondering how in the hell I’d managed to put up with him for three centuries. Of course, much of that time had been spent apart, as I could only stand to be around him for so long before it drove me to isolation.

Becoming a vampire had never been my choice. I had been targeted. Chosen. What I thought was a lonely blonde in need of some company had turned out to be Sloane, one of Harley’s first vampires. She had lured me in, drained me dry. And he had turned me. Now I was his. Or so he liked to think.

Our relationship had been doomed from the start. A man like Harley needed to be surrounded by those of weaker will, which I was not. For a time we’d had fun together. Enjoying rich parties where the guests were all on the menu had led us to make many enjoyable, bloody memories together. But we had never really bonded. I had never been able to bring myself to respect or even like him. Though I did love him in the twisted way that vampires love their makers.

I stopped trying to understand that complicated emotion soon after becoming a vampire. How I felt about Harley Kayson would never make sense to me.

One thing I knew for certain was that I’d been dreaming about a woman for almost a century now, and he would not be the one to stop me from finding her. She was out there. I could feel her calling me. A call I had to answer.

“You won’t even notice I’m gone. You have Jenner and Sloane. And the others. Not to mention these pathetic whelps. I’ll send a postcard.”

It was antagonistic, but I didn’t give a damn. Letting Harley know about the dreams had been my first mistake. Letting him keep me here this long had been the second.

“Do you think I’m going to just let you walk out on me?” The venom in Harley’s tone held the assurance of the fight to come. “I made you, Sindarys. You are mine.”

The delusional ramblings of the Vegas master grew more disturbed the longer I stayed. I shouldn’t have put it off so long. “Don’t call me that.” My tone brooked no room for argument. “I don’t belong to you. I never have. Let’s not have a replay of the last time you said that.”

It had ended in a brawl so bad that it had taken three vampires to split us up. I was sure that one of us would eventually kill the other. I didn’t want it to have to be today though I was willing if that’s what it took to finally walk free of him.

“This is your home. You belong here. Come, let’s go to bed. I picked out a fresh young thing just for you.” Harley grabbed for my arm. When I jerked out of reach, he flung a roiling psi ball at me in an angry outburst.

It exploded against my chest, thrusting me backward into an ornate marble statue. It was one of several throughout the house. The thing wobbled on its perch before toppling over, smashing into pieces on the floor.

Resisting the sudden need for retaliation proved difficult. I’d hoped I could be the one to keep a level head. Harley’s outburst had been expected.

“It’s a shame you can’t support me on this,” I said, trying to reason with him. “I told you because I thought you gave a damn. Now I wish I’d never said anything at all about her.”

“Her,” he spat. “You don’t even know her name. You’re chasing a dream. Don’t expect to have a place here when you come back. If you walk out on me now, Arys—”

“Well, maybe I won’t be coming back.” My interruption momentarily silenced him. “If I find her, I won’t have a reason to.”

We stared stonily at one another. Rather than wait for him to take another shot at me, I chose to walk away.

It had taken me years to accept the things I’d been told by the old witch I had gone to see. That had been over a century ago, yet sometimes it felt like just yesterday. Each passing night contributed to each passing year, bringing me closer to a fate I both feared and hungered for. I had to answer this call.

I left him standing there fuming. It was anyone’s guess as to how long he’d wait before rushing after me.

When I crossed through the front sitting room on my way to the door, I found Sloane and Jenner entertaining an elegantly dressed human couple. The two of them had formed a partnership of sorts. They liked to tag team their victims, posing as just another friendly couple.

Jenner had spent a lot of time in Sloane’s bed since she had brought him home for Harley. Though as much time as they spent as lovers, they never seemed to really love one another. Love was a complicated thing for vampires. It was hard to have a genuine emotion toward another in this coven that wasn’t rooted in loathing.

“Excuse me a moment,” Sloane cooed to her guests, playing the role of gracious hostess. She rushed after me, grabbing hold of my arm in the foyer. “Are you really leaving?”

“Are you really asking me that? Of course I’m leaving. Do me a favor? Try to keep him from coming after me.”

I tried to pull away, but she wouldn’t let go. “If you walk out on him, he will never forgive you, Arys.”

“I’m not walking out on anyone. This isn’t about him. I don’t expect any of you to understand.” Repeating myself was growing tiresome. For too long I’d let my vampire family hold me back. No more.

“Good. Because we don’t.” Jenner’s snide tone drew my gaze to where he stood just inside the large, open foyer. “Don’t you think you’ve destroyed enough in this ridiculous pursuit of a woman that doesn’t exist? Or was murdering my fiancé not enough for you?”

“Here we go again,” muttered Sloane.

Walk away. Just walk away.

“Jenner, that was decades ago. Get over it.” I was not in the mood to rehash that particular part of history. Jenner, however, was always seeking a way to throw it in my face.

Becoming a vampire had been a liberating experience. Despite Harley’s overbearing personality and constant need to control others, I’d flourished as a vampire. Not only did I enjoy it, I was damn good at it. I operated on instinct. Hunting, feeding, and regretting nothing. But what I did to Jenner…I did regret that.

It was a dreadful mistake. Tormented by dreams of Alexa, I had sought comfort in the beautiful blonde Jenner had fallen for. Ultimately I’d killed her for not being Alexa.

Harley blamed Jenner for falling in love with a human. It was unfair considering Harley himself had latched onto each of us while we were still human. Playing favorites, Harley pit us against each other. By encouraging dissention among those of us he created, he ensured we never really bonded. I was always certain he did it on purpose so we wouldn’t rally together against him.

“It’s better if you go,” Jenner decided, as if his opinion mattered. “Don’t come back.”

“Jenner,” Sloane admonished. She drifted over to him, grasping his arm and squeezing. “Don’t say such things. You were friends once. Brothers. Don’t throw that away over one human woman.”

He cast her a scathing look. She peered up at him with wide, enchanting eyes, oblivious to his disgust.