Small Blue Thing (12 page)

The lesson dragged on and on. Unfortunately it was a theory class so we didn’t even have the opportunity to talk while setting up an experiment. As we listened to Miss Deeley I racked my brains to try and work out what on earth Grace could mean. It didn’t make any sense to me. When the lunch bell rang, I made sure I waited for her at the door of the classroom. She paused, but then saw that there was no way to escape me, and I walked with her as we made our way back to the common room.

Whatever her problem was, I was torn between wanting to be entirely straight with her, and my conviction that I still needed to keep the bizarre events of the last few days to myself. “Grace, I don’t understand. What is going on? Talk to me.”

She gave me a withering look. “Are you just rubbing it in now? Isn’t what you have done bad enough?”

I felt an icy stab in the pit of my stomach. Her pace along the corridor increased – I was almost running to keep up.

“Back up a bit, please, Grace. You should know I wouldn’t do anything deliberate to hurt you. If Rob’s been telling you things, it’ll all be lies because he can’t handle rejection.”

“He said you would say that.”

“Look, how can I win in that case? Won’t you at least tell me what the problem is? At least tell me what you think I’ve done.”

“According to Rob,” she started, “you’re really fixated on Jack and that is why Rob dumped you on Saturday. Rob says you’ve secretly been planning to make a play for Jack for years. And when you saw him with me, you decided that it was Jack you wanted, however much it hurt me. And what’s worse, Jack is really pleased about it.”

“So when did Rob tell you all this,” I asked, astounded.

“A group of us went out last night. I did call to see if you wanted to come, remember?” I nodded guiltily. I had got her off the phone as quickly as possible so I could continue talking to Callum.

“But have you spoken to Jack about this? Was he there last night?”

“No, he’s been away all weekend with his family. Grandmother’s birthday.”

“So you’ve just heard this from Rob? You haven’t spoken to Jack?” I asked.

“That’s right.” Grace’s chin came up defiantly, but there was a small quiver in her voice.

“Look, Grace, I dumped Rob on Saturday when it became clear that he was only interested in getting me down to Cornwall. He was so angry that he abandoned me in the restaurant and I had to find my own way home. He really doesn’t take rejection well, so I’m not surprised that he’s invented a reason for my behaviour that makes him look better.”

There was a flicker of hope in Grace’s eyes. “You didn’t tell him that you wanted Jack?”

“Of course not. Jack’s like another brother to me. You know that. I couldn’t be happier that you and he are together.” I reached out and took her arm. “Honestly, Rob is lying. And I don’t believe for a minute that Jack would ever say that he wanted to go out
with me either. In fact, why don’t you call him now?” I tried to smile encouragingly, but I was too angry about Rob.

“Well … I suppose … I could,” she murmured. “I didn’t think that I wanted to talk to him at all today.” She finally slowed her breakneck pace as we got to the top of the stairs in the sixth form block.

“Has he called you?” I asked. I guessed Rob wouldn’t have had the nerve to tell Jack any outright lies, not if he wanted to keep his pretty nose intact.

“Well, yes, he has left a message and a couple of texts. I just assumed he was being kind.” She kept her gaze on the floor.

“You see! There’s no problem with Jack at all. The only problem is Rob.”

She gave a weak smile, as if she was trying very hard to believe what I was saying. “But, Alex, what I still don’t understand is why you turned him down. You have been talking about him for months and months, and everyone thinks he’s gorgeous. I was so pleased for you when he finally asked you out. What happened? What’s changed?”

I couldn’t tell her, as much as I wanted to, but she needed to believe what I told her or she would continue to be suspicious. I tried to keep it as close to the truth as possible. “There wasn’t really only one thing. I just got this feeling, as soon as he made his move at the cinema, that I was just part of the Rob master plan, and what I wanted didn’t matter to him at all. He was too … smooth, too sure of himself, and he was telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. In fact, when I first told him that I didn’t think Cornwall was a good idea, he even told me he loved me, just to see if that would persuade me.”

“No! He can’t have been that obvious.”

“He was. He really thought I was just being a bit difficult and that he could flatter me into doing exactly what he wanted.”

“That’s awful. I’m so sorry, and I’m sorry that I fell for his lies too.” She looked shamefaced.

“Hey, I’ve forgotten all about it already. We can’t let him come between us.” I held out my arms and Grace stepped towards me with a smile. She hugged me back. “Now, go and call Jack. He’ll be really worried that you haven’t replied to any of his messages.”

“Good point,” she agreed. “I’ll be back in a sec.”

We had reached the common room, so she went off to find a quiet corner and I went to find our friends in our usual spot. This room was just for sixth formers, and following a recent campaign it was furnished with easy chairs and beanbags as well as tables and chairs. Our corner had a selection of comfortable seats, and, most importantly, a good view across the boys’ playing fields next door. There were usually a few girls idly leaning out of the window watching the boys on the football pitches. Knowing this, the sixth form boys generally had their lunchtime kick-about on this particular pitch, where they could show off to an appreciative audience.

All my friends were already lounging on the beanbags so I threw my bag down and flopped into the nearest chair. I was immediately conscious that all the chatter had abruptly stopped. I looked around and most of them were obviously avoiding my gaze. The only one sitting up straight was Ashley. She was smiling in my direction, a smile of victory.

“I do hope that you aren’t going to take it too personally. I mean, we’re all grown-ups here.”

I didn’t understand what she was getting at. “Sorry, I’m not with you.”

“Oh,” she tittered, “surely you must have heard already?”

She had such a smug look on her face that this could only be about Rob. I sighed and tried to keep my voice even. “No. Still not with you, I’m afraid.”

“I’m going out with Rob now, and he’s invited me down to his place in Cornwall in a few weeks.” She was visibly preening.

I had to give him credit: he was a fast worker. Poor Ashley, she wouldn’t stand a chance.

“Well, he made a speedy recovery,” I couldn’t resist commenting. She should have some warning about what she was getting into.

“Not much to recover from, as far as he was concerned. I do hope you are going to be OK though. I know it must be difficult for you.”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine.” I tried to strike a tone between indifference and friendliness, to discourage any more discussion, but she was on a roll.

“I mean, getting dumped on the first date! That’s got to be tough.” Her fake concern was beginning to get to me. If I had actually cared, then what she was doing would have been really cruel.

“I can live with the disappointment.” I was pleased to see that she was irritated that she was unable to get a reaction out of me. I took several deep breaths and continued to hold her gaze. She broke first.

“I have to say you are taking it well at the moment. I really hope it doesn’t get to you later.”

Honestly, I thought, the two of them deserved each other. Both were equally conniving and unpleasant. I was glad to be out of it, but getting angrier and angrier about how he had manipulated
my friends. I smiled tightly at Ashley and got out my books, ending the conversation.

She continued to preen with Mia and Abbi. As I tried to shut out the details of their conversation, I wished I were somewhere quiet and private with Callum, where none of this would have any relevance. I was pretending to be deep in my book when Grace dropped down on the beanbag next to my chair, her face glowing.

“You were right!” she whispered. “He’s perfectly OK, apart from being a bit worried that I wasn’t responding to his texts. I told him that my phone has been playing up.” She considered the mobile in her hand for a moment. “Actually, that’s perfectly true. It’s been switching itself off at random moments for the last few days. Must be time for an upgrade.”

I didn’t respond, and when she looked at me I nodded in Ashley’s direction. “Heard her news?” I mouthed.

Grace tuned into the conversation at the other side of the circle, her mouth falling further and further open with everything she heard. Finally she dragged herself away and looked at me in horror. “I’m really hungry, so I’m going to head down for some lunch now. Want to join me?” she asked suddenly in a loud voice.

I smiled at her in relief and got to my feet. “Sure. I’m hungry too,” I lied.

Everyone else was absorbed in sharing the gossip about how I had taken the news, so the two of us walked out alone.

“I’m so sorry,” said Grace. “How can he be such a pig?”

I was so angry I couldn’t speak, and my eyes welled up. I tried really hard to suppress it: I really didn’t want to be seen crying in school today. Everyone would think that I was upset about Rob dumping me. “You know, I’m not sure I can actually face lunch. You go ahead and I’ll just take a walk over the pitches.” There was
no way that I could sit in the dining hall and keep up the pretence.

“Oh, OK. I’ll come with you,” replied Grace unenthusiastically.

I did my best to laugh. “And miss lunch? Don’t be ridiculous. Can you just bring me a banana for later?” Grace had a gargantuan appetite for someone so skinny, and never went without a meal. She looked relieved.

“If you’re sure. I’ll come and find you in ten minutes.” She gave me a quick hug and ran off.

I set off for the playing fields behind the school, and after a few minutes’ walk I reached my favourite spot near one of the huge horse chestnut trees. I looked around, but no one was close by. I was finally alone. I really wanted to call Callum and see his beautiful face next to mine, but given that I had asked him to come back later, I thought it was unlikely. I couldn’t resist trying, though, just to check if he was still around. I called his name softly, pulling the tiny mirror out of my school bag. Nothing happened. I peered into the depths of the stone, and as usual the beautiful flecks of red and gold glittered in the sunshine, but nothing moved. He wasn’t there.

Suddenly I felt overwhelmed by the events of the last few hours, and I felt the tears welling up again. This time I couldn’t avoid the sobs which escaped me, and I gave in to the frustration and anger which I had been holding in check. The tears fell in fat lines down my cheeks and on to the grass in front of me.

Almost as soon as it had started I knew I didn’t want to be crying. I had to get a grip. I started to root around in my bag for a tissue. “Oh, crap,” I muttered to myself as I pulled out an empty tissue packet, then dived into the corners of the bag to see if one had escaped. I was so intent on my search I didn’t register the
tingling in my arm.

“Hey, hey, keep still or I can’t talk to you.” His honeyed voice was full of warmth and humour, but changed abruptly as he saw my face. “What’s the matter? Are you alright?”

“Oh, Callum, I’m so pleased you’re here. I thought you had gone for the day.”

“I had, but then you called, and, well, I couldn’t resist coming back. But what’s happened?”

I was suddenly embarrassed. “It’s nothing. Nothing really, I just got angry. Someone has been telling lies about me to my friends.”

He was instantly angry on my behalf. “Who? Who would do that to you?”

“It was Rob. You remember I told you about him yesterday.”

He was suddenly wary. “He’s the one you were out with the other night.” It was a statement, not a question. “He’s upset you again.”

“I’m just angry, not upset.” I wiped away the tears with my fingers, having given up on finding a tissue, and tried to sniff unobtrusively.

Callum was silent, and I anxiously watched his face in the tiny mirror. He seemed to be struggling to find the right thing to say.

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

“There isn’t that much to tell really. I dumped him, he got upset and now he’s started telling people lies about me.” I really didn’t want to tell Callum that he was telling everyone he dumped me and that I was lusting after someone else. It was all far too ridiculous, and so unimportant.

I watched his face as he thought about what I had told him.
I knew he could tell that I wasn’t giving him all the details, but it was clear that he wasn’t going to ask, and I was grateful for that. “You’re sure you don’t want to reconsider the idea that I might give him a little visit?”

“No!” It came out rather too sharply. I didn’t want Callum having to do anything out of character just so that I could get my own back on Rob, turning Callum into the sort of person he didn’t want to be. “He’s not worth it, believe me. Don’t go and ruin your record because of him.” I tried to give him an encouraging smile.

He looked murderous. “It would be a pleasure. I don’t want anyone hurting you.”

“Please, it’s nothing. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have called you when I was upset. I just knew that seeing you would make me feel better.”

“Never worry about calling me. I will always be here for you, whatever you want me for.” The passion was clear in his voice.

“I’m so pleased you came. I wasn’t sure if you were still around or had gone back into London.”

“I was heading back, but I got distracted by the cinema in Richmond. They are showing some terrible children’s film, and I thought that not being able to remember it would be doing the audience a favour.” He stole a glance at me to check that I approved. “Then I heard you call, and I came straight away.”

“So how far away can you be to be able to hear me?”

“I don’t think there is a limit. You were as clear in Richmond as you are right here.”

“But Richmond is miles away. How did you get here so quickly? It must have been less than a couple of minutes.”