Slow Hand (15 page)

Leaning in close, Wade covered her hand with his. He said nothing for a moment, as if he waited to see if she'd snatch it away. When she didn't, he brought her palm to his lips and kissed it.

“I'm sorry, Nikki. Please understand I'm not trying to be secretive. I just didn't expect any of this to come up tonight. Something happened four years ago that part of me is still dealing with, and I'm not ready to talk about it yet. Can you please
try
to understand that?”

The pain in his eyes was unmistakable.

Her resentment evaporated. “Yes,” she answered softly. “I can understand. There's a number of things I'm trying to work out too. It's part of the reason I came here—to figure things out.”

“I promise you I'm trying real hard to work through it all.”

“I'm sorry I pressed you.”

“There's nothing for you to be sorry about. I'm the one who said I'd answer your questions and then reneged.”

“Let's just agree to let it go. I'm OK with that. Really,” she insisted.

Wade moved to pour her another glass of wine.

“I think I've had enough already.”

“It's a shame to waste a good wine.”

“What? Are you thinking to have your wicked way with me?”

“I was more hoping you'd want to have yours with me.” His answering look made her mouth go dry. “You devastate me, Nikki. Do you know that?”

“Me?” She gave an incredulous laugh.

“Yes.
You
. I haven't wanted anyone this bad in a very long time. Hell…” He raked his hair with a self-deprecating laugh. “I don't know that I've
ever
wanted anyone this bad.” His gaze slid down to her mouth while a half smile hovered over his. “I'm sitting here looking at you with my mind bursting with all the things I still want to do to you.”

“Even after this afternoon?” She was growing flushed and it definitely wasn't the wine.

“This afternoon only whetted my appetite for more. Hell, if this table had a decent cover on it, I'd slide my hand up those sleek, smooth thighs of yours right here and now.”

Nikki stifled a gasp and squeezed her thighs against the sudden warm gush.

His mouth curved into a slow, knowing smile. “Am I making you wet? So easily, Nikki?”

“Yes, damn you!” she hissed.

He chuckled. “Then, darlin', I'm making it my personal goal to have you squirming in your panties before the check comes.”

“Oh really?” She arched a brow. “What if I'm not wearing any?”

She noted his heavy swallow with a surge of satisfaction. “Are you sure you want to go there, Wade? I thought I'd already demonstrated that two can play these games.”

“I'm up for it all right.” His grin stretched wide and sexy. “Bring it on, darlin'…gimme all you got.”

Paula arrived a moment later with the check. Wade reached for his wallet, but Nikki stalled him. “You know, on second thought, I think I'd like some dessert.”

“Anything in particular?” Paula asked.

“Yes. I have a sudden craving for some fresh fruit. Do you have any peaches or nectarines perhaps? With cream.” She slanted Wade a sultry look. “I love nice, juicy peaches drowning in cream, don't you, Wade?”

His pupils flared. He wet his lips.

“I'm so sorry,” Paula said, “but we don't have peaches. Could I tempt you with something else? We have a luscious triple chocolate terrine or crème brûlée. We also have a mascarpone, dark chocolate, and hazelnut cannoli.”

“Cannoli?” Nikki's gaze darted to Wade. “You mean those wonderful Italian pastries that you eat with your fingers?”

“Yes. These are excellent.”

“Perfect.” Nikki smiled deviously.

“Coffee with that?”

“No, thank you. Just the cannoli.”

“Oh no you don't,” Wade murmured in warning the moment Paula departed.

“Oh yes, Wade. I love cannoli. Especially if they're big and long and so filled to bursting that they explode in your mouth.”

His jaw twitched. “Stop. Just stop now or I'll make you
so
sorry.”

“No, I'm going to savor the hell out of my dessert. I'm going to lick and nibble all the chocolate off the outside, and then swish my tongue on the inside. And after that, I'll suck out all the filling…and you're going to watch me.”

“The hell I will!” Leaping out of his chair, Wade threw a wad of bills on the table. He then jerked Nikki to her feet, hauling her out the front door before dessert ever arrived.

* * *

They'd barely made it to the car before he pinned her up against the passenger door. He dipped his head and groaned, “I told you I'd make you sorry.”

She licked her lips with a shiver of excitement. “How?”

“I'm going to make you whimper and beg, Nikki. I'm going to reduce you to a puddle of moist, hot mayhem.” His hand was already sliding up her dress and gliding over her thighs.

“You can't! We're in the parking lot.” She protested on a gasp at the paradoxical softness of his calloused hands.

He nuzzled her neck, lightly abrading her skin with his deliciously bristled jaw, his breath a heated caress against her skin. “It's dark enough…and I'm blocking you from view. Hmm. I
like
these, Nikki. A lot.” He traced the lace band at the top of her stockings with his fingers. “Now I'm wondering…”

She knew what he was thinking. Her remark about her lack of panties was meant to drive him wild. She hissed when he probed higher and dipped into her wetness with a grunt of deep satisfaction. But he didn't stop there. He slid deeper, his fingers exploring her passage, his thumb slowly circling, swirling the wetness around her clit.

He took her ear lobe between his teeth. “You're going to sob for mercy, Nicole.”

Dear
God, we're in a freaking parking
lot!

But he wasn't about to let her off the hook.
No
indeed-y
. Not after how brazenly she'd teased him. Her heart raced. His fingers plunged, working in and out of her sheath. Her breath came in short pants. Her legs felt like jelly. She clutched his shoulders for balance as her climax formed low in her belly, like a storm gaining momentum by the minute.

“Please, Wade,” she whispered.

“That wasn't good enough, Nikki.” He swirled his hot tongue in her ear. “How about ‘pretty please with sugar on top'?”

“Yes. Yes. With sugar on top,” she whimpered. He settled into a ruthless rhythm that was making her mind melt. “You
have
to stop this now.”

“You want me to
stop
, darlin'? Maybe I wasn't clear. I want you to beg me to make you come.
Here
and
now.
Then you're going to straddle my lap and ride me cowgirl-style until we fog every damned window in that SUV.”

His words were all it took to send her toppling over the edge. She buried her face in his chest until the ripples ceased. She watched on wobbly legs, growing more breathless at the dark glitter in his blue eyes as Wade prepared to make as good on his second promise as he had on the first. Opening the passenger door, he adjusted the seat all the way back. Then, instead of handing her up, he climbed inside and pulled her onto his lap.

“Wouldn't the backseat be easier?” she asked.

“Not how I want you,” he growled, yanking her shoes off and throwing them over his shoulder. “I gave you yours, sweetheart. This one's all mine. Turn around. Straddle me,” he commanded, his manner brusque, his actions almost rough as he guided her into the position he wanted—facing away from him.

She heard the metallic slide of his zipper and then felt his hips rise and shift as he shoved his jeans down. She felt the release of his hard hot flesh as it sprang free, slapping her ass. She reached behind, eager to feel it in her hands, but he stopped her.

“Hands on the dashboard, sweetheart. You're gonna need it.”

He reached under her dress, pushing it up over her hips and held it there, his big hands holding her firmly at the waist. He thrust into her. Hard. Deep. Giving her no time to catch her breath. The next seconds unfurled in a frantic and feral frenzy. Squeezing her waist and jerking her hips, Wade pounded mercilessly into her from behind, the slap of flesh filling the air even as Nikki's gasps painted clouds all over the windshield. He climaxed fast and hard, his lungs emptying with a primal roar. She immediately followed, pulsing around him as he came in searing surges until they both slumped into the seat, still joined, but sedated and spent.

It was raw, animalistic, and probably the hottest sex she'd ever known.

Chapter 14

After recovering sufficiently from their mutual post-climactic coma, they drove back to Sheridan. Nikki's hand was on
his
thigh this time. His arm was curled around her shoulders and her head rested against his chest while a Josh Turner ballad played on the radio.

Nikki shut her eyes, basking in his warmth, his generosity, and his strength. She still marveled at how Wade had been there for her ever since she'd arrived in Montana. She wasn't used to having anyone stand up for her. But as a total stranger, he had come to her rescue when she desperately needed someone. In three short days, he'd managed to turn her world inside out and upside down; more than any man she'd ever known.

She slanted him a sidelong look and found him gazing back at her, a soft smile stretching his mouth—a smile that enveloped her in its warm cocoon. He pulled her tighter against him. She nuzzled her face into his shirt just to breathe in his heady musky male scent. God, how she wished again that this could last forever—but she was leaving in a matter of days. The thought jarred her, shattering her serenity as effectively as his voice broke the silence.

“There's something weighing on me, Nikki. Something I think you deserve to know.”

Shit! Damn it all to hell!
She should have known he was too damned good to be true. Part of her had been waiting for just this moment. Her pulse roared in her ears as she waited for the other shoe to drop. “There's someone else?”

“No.” He shook his head. “It's nothing like that, but there's something that's had me real messed up for a long time. I told you at dinner that I wasn't ready to talk about it, but maybe it's time to unload my own baggage. I don't want to screw up again. It's too important to me.
You
are too important to me.”

His words made her heart skip. She waited in silence for him to continue.

“I've been stuck in the past for almost four years, but I really want to get over it now. I
want
to move on and put it all behind me. You've made me want to do that, Nikki. Can you understand?”

“I'm not sure I do.” Her gaze searched his face. “You wanna explain?”

“There's a lot more to the story I told you about my brother and me. There's a shitload more.” He drew a breath, and then exhaled. “Damn, this is hard.”

“Is it about Rachel? Your mother told me how she came between you and Dirk, but I still don't understand how your rivalry over a high school sweetheart could destroy your relationship.”

He hesitated again, his mouth firming. “She wasn't just a girlfriend, Nikki. Rachel was my wife.”

Nikki's head reeled as if she'd been struck by a two-by-four. His confession just didn't fit. It distorted everything she thought she knew about him. “Your wife?” she repeated once she found her voice again. “You were married?”

“Yup. For three and a half years. I took up with her right after Dirk left for the Marines. We got engaged six months before he was scheduled to come home. I think I was afraid she'd dump me as soon as he returned so I married her.” He gave a bitter laugh. “I made the biggest goddamn mistake of my life at twenty-four years old—and we all three paid for it.”

Nikki studied the planes of his face, grown harsh in the shadows. As hard as it was for her to hear all this it was much harder on him. “Did you love her?” she asked softly.

“Thought I did, but it was really a mixed bag of infatuation and ego.”

She was almost afraid to ask but still had to know. “What about her?”

“She wanted
him
.”

“So she only used you to get back at your brother?”

“Damn right she did. She was hurt and resentful and wanted to hurt him back. I should have known better, maybe deep down I did, but dumb-ass that I was…I married her anyway.”

“But if he left without any promises, did he really want her? Did he love her?” Nikki asked.

He shook his head with a dry laugh. “That's the million-dollar question.”

“He didn't try to stop it, did he?”

“Nope.” He shook his head. “Not a word. I think that's what Rae was secretly hoping for—that he'd show up and put an end to her and me, but he didn't.”

“So he didn't come home for your wedding?”

“No. When he heard the news he re-upped for another three years.” Wade stared straight ahead at the road. “And then got half his leg blown off in Afghanistan.”

“I begin to understand the rift,” she said. “But it was his decision, Wade.”

“But would it have happened if I hadn't done what I did?”

“You can't know either way and it's not worth torturing yourself over. So what happened after you and Rachel married?”

“We lived in Denver for a couple of years until after I passed the bar. I was still clerking for Evans then—that's Allie's father,” he explained. “After that, I got a good job offer back East. I probably would have accepted it if the economy hadn't taken a major nosedive. That was in 2008 when everything went to shit and the ranch had to turn most of the help loose. Dirk was still in Iraq and the ol' man was on the verge of losing everything, so I came back home to do what I could. The marriage was already shaky before I started doing double duty, trying to get established in Bozeman while still helping at the ranch on the weekends. Maybe it could have worked out between us had we gone away, but family loyalty rooted me here.”

“It obviously made a difference,” she said. “You still have the ranch.”

“Yeah. The ranch,” he said bitterly. “It's always been all about the ranch. I saved the place and I resent the hell out of the price I paid. Between the practice and the ranch, I didn't have any time at all for Rachel. She'd set her sights on finding a PR job in the city. Had we gone east, she probably could have found something to make her feel more fulfilled, but there was nothing for her back here.

“She was bored and lonely, and started pressing me to start a family. I wasn't ready for that. I already carried such a load and I resented her for pressuring me. When my hours in Bozeman got even longer I suggested she spend more time at the ranch. It kept her busy and seemed like a good solution…until Dirk came home, a situation that had trouble written all over it.”

“Yeah. I can see why.”

“Dirk was a real train wreck. Pushed us all away and spent a lot of time alone in that little shack up on the mountain. Maybe I thought his injuries and pissy attitude would put her off, but the harder Dirk pushed Rae away, the more I think she wanted him. I should have seen it coming.”

Nikki
felt
his pain. “They betrayed you?”

“I've got no proof,” he replied. “And Dirk still denies it, but Rachel wanted out of the marriage within a couple months of his coming back. What was I to make of that?”

“But you said she was already unhappy before. Maybe you're jumping to conclusions. She and Dirk aren't together, right? So what happened? Where is she now?”

“She's gone,” he answered woodenly.

“Gone? She left you both?”

“You might say that… She's dead.”

A cold shiver ran up Nikki's spine. “Dead?”

“It was an accident.”

Nikki suddenly remembered Iris's reference to an accident and the warning look Wade had given her. “How?” Nikki asked. “She didn't…”

“I don't think it was suicide…but we'll never know for certain. She showed up at my office late one afternoon. Said she wanted a divorce. There was an ugly scene. I didn't go home that night, but neither did she. Next morning the cops knocked on my door saying they pulled her car out of the river.”

“Dear God, I can't even imagine what that must have been like for you.”

“Hell, I barely even remember it now. That's how hard and fast I hit the bottle. But the worst part was getting the autopsy report a week later showing elevated levels of HCG.”

Nikki lips suddenly went dry. “HCG? She was pregnant?”

“Yeah…she hadn't told me that part. It was early enough that maybe she didn't even know. To this day I don't know if it was mine or not. We hadn't had much of a love life for months, but I couldn't bring myself to ask for a DNA test. The whole thing—Dirk's leg, her death, and the baby… It was all too much. The guilt hit me. Hard. I didn't know how to deal with any of it. I went on an eighteen-month bender that nearly killed me.”

“How could you blame yourself? It wasn't your fault!”

“Wasn't it? Deep down, I always knew she was still his and being honest, that's probably why I wanted her so bad. And Dirk probably wouldn't have reenlisted—wouldn't have lost his leg, if I hadn't married her. I might not carry all the blame, but a good chunk of it sits rightfully on my shoulders.”

They pulled into the motel parking lot. Wade cut the engine. They sat in silence.

“How did you quit drinking?” she finally asked. “Family intervention?”

“Intervention?” Wade laughed outright. “Yeah, I guess you could call it that since Dirk's fist intervened with my body—multiple times. He laid me out flat for a week with three cracked ribs, a punctured lung, and a busted-up face.”

“
That
was why he broke your nose?”

Her question seemed to break the tension.

Wade rubbed the hump with a laugh. “Yeah. It's a bad idea to piss off a Marine, even one missing a leg. On the bright side, the time I spent in the hospital dried me out. Shortly after that incident, my father had his heart attack. My brother and I have had a tenuous truce ever since.”

“It doesn't
look
much like a truce.”

“No,” he agreed. “Not lately. The problems started up again when I decided to try and unload the ranch. I don't want it and the folks can't handle it anymore, but Dirk, stubborn ass that he is, won't give in. That's why Allie came today, Nikki. She has an offer—a very respectable offer. It was also the reason I was in Denver a few days ago, but it all came apart at the last minute. Allie blamed me and we had a major falling out over it.”

“So you
were
romantically involved with Allie?”

“Romantically? No. There was nothing remotely ‘romantic' about our relationship. Ever. We were always business associates first and occasional bedmates second. That's how it was. Always. It was convenient, but it was never more than sex.”

“Maybe that's how it was for you, but I think it's more than that where
she's
concerned.”

“Regardless of what she may have insinuated, it's exactly how I told you it is, Nikki. I was OK with that for a long time—emotionally detached sex. Maybe it was what I needed at the time, or maybe I just didn't know any better. But now I do. And
now
you have the
whole
ugly truth.”

Nikki sat there stunned, barely able to digest all he'd told her. His story—the pain and guilt he carried, placing his own desires second to his family's needs. She couldn't believe how wrong she'd been about him, about everything.

“I'm so sorry,” she whispered. “I had no idea about any of this.”

“How could you? But I'm not looking for your pity, Nicole. I just thought you needed to know.” He paused. “No. Let me rephrase that, I
needed
you
to know.”

“Why?”

“Why? Because we're damn good together.”

Her chest tightened until it was hard to breathe. But then she mentally corrected him by filling in the two words he'd obviously left out—In. Bed.

In her heart she wanted to believe this was really turning into something special, but how could it be anything more than infatuation? He was smart, successful, responsible, and self-sacrificing to a fault. His love and affection for his family were obvious and genuine, and his charm and sex appeal were off the meter. Wade was so far out of her league that she couldn't even fathom what he saw in her—which also meant it couldn't possibly work.

Moments later he walked her to the door with a long and lingering goodnight kiss, a kiss that promised more that she'd ever dreamed, but she reminded herself it was
only
a dream. As wonderful as this felt right now, she knew not to trust it. They'd only know each other a few days. How many times had she thrown herself into a relationship only to live with regret later? Besides that, they lived two thousand miles apart. Nikki swore not to torture herself with impossible hopes, and to accept this thing with Wade for the short-term fling that it inevitably was.

* * *

With reluctance, Wade left Nikki alone at the motel. It was damned hard not to coerce her back into bed when he'd walked her to the door. Maybe if he'd brought a change of clothes he would have stayed, but they both needed sleep, and he sure as hell needed some perspective.

He'd already lost his head over her. He didn't know what had possessed him to walk out on Allie when she'd brought a multimillion dollar deal with her. He'd never done anything so irresponsible—at least not since he'd sobered up. But for the first time in years he'd shoved his responsibilities and worries aside in single-minded pursuit of what
he
wanted.

He'd been so wrapped up in Nikki that he'd forgotten everything else, but now he worried about the repercussions as he drove back to the ranch. He hoped to hell Allie was still waiting there. Maybe he'd pissed her off so bad she'd gone back to Denver. Any other woman probably would have after the way he'd left her standing there, but then again this was Allie, and Allie was all about business. It was the biggest reason he'd never entertained the thought of marriage with her.

If he ever did remarry—not that he'd given any thought to ever taking that step again—he wanted a soul mate, not a business partner, a woman to complement, rather than compete with him. He wanted the yin to his yang, someone spontaneous and genuine, someone like Nikki, who warmed his insides as well as his bed.