Slide (Black Addiction #1) (27 page)

I hadn’t killed him.

The intention was that I went to wherever Phil was hiding out, and just talk. Try and get a feel for why he felt the sudden need to connect with the kid he deserted. His answer didn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy.

“What is he doing here?” He pointed his finger accusingly as I walked into the room beside Max.

“Just wanted to clear up any misunderstandings.” My shoulders rolled with pent up tension. Talking hadn’t been the only thing on my mind.

“I’m not trying to mess with her head, I just want to try and get to know her. I didn’t even know I had a kid until recently.” He tried to explain, like his ignorance somehow made it better.

The fucking useless bastard had assumed that after he did a see-ya-later on Alison’s mom she would have done the same to her unborn child. Something I’d already been clued up via Max’s earlier inquisition. It had been a chance meeting approximately three years ago that saw the previous two lovebirds reconnect, Alison’s mom and Max’s brother sharing more buried history than Tutankhamen.

“I was young, I wasn’t ready for a kid. But I’m ready now, I want to be her dad.” Phil continued, figuring he’d give parenting a go.

“Not too difficult now when there isn’t a lot left to do, the harder stuff of actually raising the kid happening years ago while you weren’t around.” I wasn’t cutting him any slack. “Whatever happens from here on out is her call, it’s not about you and your delicate sensibilities about being a dad. She says jump, you say how fucking high. We clear?” My nerves wound tighter with each passing second.

“You’re one to talk. You’ve gone from one pussy to the next. What qualifies you from thinking you know what’s best for my daughter?” The dumbass unhelpfully added.

Just calling Alison his daughter was enough of a reason to hit him, as far as I was concerned he hadn’t earned that right just yet. Providing the additional X Chromosome didn’t qualify. Yeah, that didn’t go over too easy either.

“Listen Phil, I don’t give a fuck what you tell yourself to help you sleep at night—you made a choice. She didn’t get a say. So regardless of your believed entitlement, you stand the hell down. As for me, I know how to keep my dick in my pants. Evident is the fact that I—unlike you—don’t have a kid I abandoned.”

He didn’t agree.

Seemed like it was a bone of contention neither of us was willing to cave on. Which is how we ended up letting our fists continue the conversation. Max, Joey and Phil’s latest lay, wisely watching on without interference. The brawl only came to a conclusion when both of us were rocking matching metal cuffs, having also earned a bonus free ride in a squad car.

My conscience was clear even if my face was sporting a black eye.

“Fuck.” My right fist sunk into a bucket of ice water, the chill burning against my raw skin. The first-aid in the big house had been as lacking as their hospitality. I was in no hurry to go back.

“Rusty!” The door I failed to lock flew open, rocking against the jamb as the knob hit the wood. The girl I hadn’t counted on seeing anytime soon, filling the space where the door had been.

“Alison?” I asked, not a hundred percent sure the left hook to my cheek hadn’t messed around with my vision.

“Holy shit.” She rushed in, her knees sinking to the floor as she knelt beside me and my faithful bucket. “What did you do?”

“It looks worse than it is.” The fingers that had been getting numb courtesy of the chilled submerge, retracted from their ice bath to touch her face. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I hate that you’re hurt.” Her eyes followed close along the path of her hands, surveying my face. Her fingertips brushed slowly against my purpling skin. Any beauty pageants were going to have to wait a while, the added bonus of no gigs booked in the near future, another win.

“My face is fine.” Especially now with any pain I’d felt before ghosting with her appearance. Better than the four Advil I’d knocked back two hours ago that was for damn sure.

“I know you were fighting with Phil and it was because of me. You can’t do that, Rusty. You can’t fight over me.” She lowered her forehead against mine, her breath slow as it pushed out against her lips.

“Babe, you’re the
only
thing worth fighting over.”

The last thing I wanted to do was add pressure to an already abundant load. I had promised her space, and come hell or fucking high water, I was going to give her that. But it was really—really—hard to look into those beautiful hazel eyes and pretend that it wasn’t killing me every minute we weren’t together.

“Do you hate me? I know I’m being selfish right now.” Her eyes closed slowly as her arms wrapped around my chest, her breathing picking up tempo.

“I don’t think there is a thing you could do that would make me hate you.” I gave up resisting the urge to hold her and pulled her into my lap. “I might not like it, but I understand.”

“I got the job. With the record label. I wanted to tell you so badly but I didn’t know if calling you would be the right thing.”

“I’m glad you got the job, babe. You’re going to do awesome.” The hand that had been throbbing like a motherfucker half an hour ago felt miraculously cured as it stroked her hair. “But you need to understand something. There aren’t any rules for what we’re doing. We’re writing our own path. You want to call me, you call. You want to see me, then you come see me. No matter what happens in the future between us, I’m always going to want you in my life.”

“Okay,” she whispered, her head nodding against my chest.

“Good, I’m glad we cleared that up. So tell me more about the job.” My need for her to keep talking at an all-time high. Meant there was less chance of her leaving, even if I knew eventually she still would.

“I start Monday, I’m getting my own office.” Her voice hitched in a moment of excitement. “I think I’m going to really like it. I have some great ideas on how to streamline sales reporting.”

“That’s great.”

“Can I ask you what happened with Phil?” Her head pulled away from my chest, those beautiful eyes of hers knocking me on my ass if I wasn’t already sitting down.

“Of course you can ask me.” It wasn’t much of a secret. The police report meant our
chat
was public record, even if their account of events was slightly altered. “I just wanted to be sure he understood that regardless of his feelings, he was going to have to let you pick the speed. We had a difference of opinion.” More like his beliefs didn’t align with Alison’s best interest.

“I’m still not sure how I feel about it. I don’t know if I want to see him.”

“And that’s perfectly fine. You don’t want to see him; you don’t have to see him. He isn’t even going to breathe in your direction without your permission.” Not unless he wanted a repeat of what went down yesterday. And given he was in worse shape than I was when we parted ways, I didn’t think he’d be volunteering anytime soon.

“What about you?” she asked curiously, the hesitation inching its way back into her voice.

“What about me?” I sure as hell didn’t have any plans to see the asshole. The less we saw each of other, probably the better.

“You said that if I wanted to see you, that I should see you. But what if you want to see me, are you going to see me?”

“Don’t worry about what I need right now.” My arms stayed wrapped around her, absorbing every second she’d let me hold her. “I’m a big boy, I can handle it.”

“What if I made a mistake, Rusty?” Her voice dipped so low I wasn’t sure I’d heard her right.

Every single muscle in my body tensed as a million different scenarios ran through my head. I had no idea what she was going to say. If this was where she confessed to going off the deep end and fucked around, it was going to take a hell of a lot of restraint. Not saying she didn’t have every entitlement to do so, we weren’t together. But fuck me, I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it. God I hoped she didn’t run back to that piece of shit ex-boyfriend. Anyone but him.

“What kind of mistake?” My fingers stopped their restless strum against her back as I pulled her away from my chest.

Whatever she needed to say, I’d deal with it. Because it couldn’t be harder than losing her had been.

“A really stupid mistake.” She shook her head, gaining some of the confidence she’d lost. “What if I was so confused about what was happening that I pushed away the only thing that has ever made sense?”

My heart started to beat so fast I wasn’t sure the bastard wasn’t trying to rip a hole in my chest and power walk out the door. The sliver of hope she’d thrown my way all that I needed to go all in.

“Then I’d say, I need you and I want you back.”

Complete no brainer. I threw my thanks up to whatever thought process got her to that point as I hoped all talk of us going our separate ways was done. It had been a miserable few days and I wasn’t looking to repeat them. Not if there was a chance we could work our way back to each other.

“I think I can still work out who I am, without being alone but I want it to be different this time. I want to date you.”

“I’d love to date you.” My lips found their mark on the top of her head as I whispered internal halleluiahs. “You going to move back in?”

“It’s probably better if I don’t.” A small smile teased at the corners of her mouth. “I’ll probably end up sneaking into your room at night, kind of defeats the purpose.”

“That really wouldn’t be a problem for me, just so you know.” Not a lie. Zero problems with her in my house or in my bed. It was preferable, actually. But whatever she decided was going to be completely cool with me.

“This time we need to go slow.”

***

There was very little that could happen today that could tear the smile from my face. While my girl wasn’t tucked up beside me when I rolled over in bed this morning, the let’s-not-be-together bullshit was finally over.

If she wanted slow; I was going to give her rush-hour in the Lincoln Tunnel. That baby was going to be wound back to a crawl until she was ready to pick up the pace. As for dating, I was all about that too, happy to work my way through the bases while juggling some popcorn and a movie.

“You sure about this?” My hand hesitated on the door. I hadn’t ruled out turning back and taking her somewhere else. Seemed like a much better idea than what was about to go down.

“I’ll have to see them sometime, right? Better now than across a boardroom table. Besides, I’ll have you with me. I’m going to be completely fine.”

My plan had been to take a long drive somewhere and catch a quiet dinner. Stick a toe in before jumping back in the deep end. Made sense considering the last time we went from hello-nice-to-meet-you to want-to-live-in-my-spare room. But that didn’t seem on par with Alison’s line of thinking. Our
quiet night
vetoed in favor of heading to the bar.

“You amaze me, you know that. If at any time you want to bail, just let me know. I’ve got zero concerns about being polite tonight.” My inner caveman stuck his head out to have a look. I wasn’t even going to make apologies for being so protective, I was embracing it for all it was worth.

“I’m good.” Her hand did what mine hadn’t and pushed open the door, the noise of the bar spilling out into the street. “We need to celebrate my new job.”

Arguing wasn’t going to happen. And rather than stand outside with my tongue on the floor completely blown-away by her, I decided to join her on the other side of the threshold. The siren’s call of beer an added bonus.

“Wow! Fuck! You’re back together?” Joey not so subtly announced our arrival, his eyes doing a ping-pong between us.

“Yeah, we’re back together.” My hand found its way around her waist, the PG-13 touching deemed acceptable first date behavior.

“Hey, Alison.” Max totally ignored me as he mirrored the same wide-eyed expression Joey had been wearing. “It’s good to see you.” His additional what-the-fuck not spoken.

“Thanks, Max. It’s good to see you too.” The confidence she’d shown at the door slipped slightly as she came face-to-face with her uh-hum . . . uncle.

The noise of the crowd did nothing to drown out the weird we were experiencing. The unspoken acknowledgement of the crazy, louder than the AC/DC that was streaming out of the speakers.

“Well we’re going to need a shitload of drinks.” My solution was thrown into the ring. The edge needed to be knocked off pretty damn quick if the night wasn’t going to end up a total bust. “So how about everyone gets a beer and we’ll take it from there.”