Slave Girl (4 page)

Saturday

There was a gatherin’ down in the barn tonight, ’cause Wook jumped the broom with Lee – a man from the Teasdale Plantation – near ’bout twice
Wook’s age. Mas’ Henley came down to the party and said a few words ’bout wantin’ them to have lots and lots of babies.

I cain’t believe Wook is married. She’s only a few years older than me – and I aine near ’bout ready to be married. And by the look on Wook’s face she aine ready
neither. I didn’t even know she was lookin’ at boys. Now, she’s married – and I didn’t even know it. Why didn’t she tell me?

All of us from the kitchen were there. Spicy came, even though she didn’t want to. Uncle Heb cut roses for each one of us to put in our hair. I took the red one and Spicy liked the yellow
one. She looks happier than when she came here, but her eyes still hold a lot of sorry.

Hince got back. He was there, dancin’ with all the girls. The only man that aine married here at Belmont is Hince. Everybody’s wonderin’ who will Hince jump the broom with? The
way Missy been lookin’ at him, I think she’d say yes to him today. But Hince can do better than Missy. I sure hope so.

Hince does know how to have a good time. Ever since I can remember he’s danced with me first. Tonight, he passed right by and asked Spicy to dance first. I was surprised and a bit put-out.
I ’spose it was his way of makin’ up to her. I didn’t think Spicy would dance with him – but I was wrong.

When she stood up, everybody started gigglin’. Everybody knows how clumbsy Spicy can be. But she fooled us all, kickin’ up her heels and pattin’ the juba better than anybody
’round here had seen before.

I saw a side of Spicy I didn’t know was there. She was happy, smilin’ big, light-footed, free as a bird. Spicy wasn’t clumbsy at all when she was dancin’. Lookin’
at Hince and her turnin’ together, made me forget that I was mad at Hince for not dancin’ with me first. It was all right.

After that dance, everybody was askin’ Spicy to cut a pigeon wing or shoo fly. Nobody asked me to dance. Even if they did, Aunt Tee wouldn’t let me, ’cause she say I’m
not courtin’ age yet. Just Hince, ’cause he’s like a brother.

It was such a good party – but I don’t think Wook enjoyed one minute of it. She just sat with her arms folded, lookin’ sad. If she didn’t want to get married, why did
she?

Sunday

Hince came to worship service for the first time this mornin’. Only ’cause Aunt Tee made him. He sat between Spicy and me and made faces, tryin’ to make us
laugh. Aunt Tee pinched me on the arm to make me behave. All the time Missy rolled her eyes at us. Then afterwards, we all had to hurry back to get supper on the table. But Missy jumped in front of
Spicy. “Jus’ ’cause you up in the Big House with the white folks, don’t mean you gon’ get to marry Hince. He gon’ jump the broom with me, so don’t you be
lookin’ at him, you hear?” And she strutted away.

Hince aine thinkin’ ’bout jumpin’ the broom with nobody. Missy just wanted to say somethin’ mean to Spicy. But I cain’t help but think – Spicy and Hince? Now
that’s a match I wouldn’t have put together. But the more I think ’bout it, and remember them dancin’ together – the better I like the idea. Spicy and Hince.

Monday

I been learnin’ a lot durin’ study time. I know the seasons, the days of the week, the months and the order they come in. Mostly, we tell time by the sun, the moon
and what’s happenin’ on that day. The rains have set in and it’s hard to tell one day from the next – just grayness. No sun. Everythin’ I touch feels dampish.

Tuesday

Wook waved at me from the fields. I waved back. Aunt Tee say I cain’t keep company with Wook any more, ’cause she’s a married woman. “Girls and women
ought not to mingle.”

When I write Wook’s name, I sees her bein’ a growed-up woman with a husband. A part of me wants to be round and full like Wook, or maybe a little bit wild and pretty like Missy, or
even tall and strong-lookin’ like Spicy. But I aine none of those things. But if I could be – I’d like to be just a little bit pretty.

I’ve looked at myself in Miz Lilly’s mirror before. I aine what you call homely, but I’d like for my teeth not to be so big. My head sits square on my shoulders, but I’d
like to be taller – stronger. I guess I’m all right, but I don’t feel all right.

Wednesday

It was durin’ the dark of night when Rufus came knockin’ at the kitchen door, hollerin’ and all in a sweat. Aggie was ’bout to give birth. I begged Aunt
Tee to let me go with her durin’ the birthin’, but she aine never let me go and she didn’t this time neither. She took Spicy. I was mad and sat in a huff. Big girls got to do all
kinds of things. I wasn’t little any more and I wasn’t a growed up woman. I was somethin’ in between.

I fumed and fussed until they got back, and I made Spicy tell me everythin’ – everythin’. Aunt Tee was right. Mid-wifein’ aine for me. I don’t think I ever want to
see a baby bein’ birthed – not after what Spicy say went on. But I looked close at the smile on Spicy’s face while she was tellin’ me that Rufus and Aggie had a big, healthy
boy. “And I helped to get him here,” she say real excited-like. Spicy had light in her eyes. I heard happy in her voice, and I knew Aunt Tee was right to take Spicy along.

Next day

All I can think ’bout today is that Aggie and Rufus have now made Mas’ Henley the owner of 28 slaves. Their little baby don’t belong to them – he belongs
to Mas’ Henley.

Followin’ day

I went to see the new baby today. I picked a bunch of wildflowers to take to Aggie. Aunt Tee sent a basket of good things she had been holdin’ back for Aggie to eat
’cause she’s nursin’ and needs the nourishmentation.

Wook showed me her new baby brother. It felt so good to hold him – so soft. Aggie and Rufus be so proud. I see why. Their baby boy is so beautiful. Aunt Tee seen to it that Mas’
Henley ’llows new mothers a week free from the fields after havin’ a baby. Aggie will get to be with her son for a whole week – just him and her.

I finally got a chance to talk to Wook and I found out about her gettin’ married. Like I suspicioned, Wook hates bein’ married. But Mas’ Henley made her marry Lee. See, Miz
Lilly keeps up with the girls who come of age, and she tells Mas’ Henley. When Wook turned fifteen, he told her to choose a husband. When she didn’t, he picked out Lee – said
they’d make strong babies. “Lee don’t love me,” she said. “And I don’t love him. This aine no marriage.”

“Aunt Tee and Uncle Heb didn’t love each other when they got married, but they grew to, later on. Maybe you and Lee will come to care ’bout each other.” I didn’t
believe what I was sayin’ and neither did Wook. How can they, when they don’t even-now live together? Lee can only get passes once in a while.

Is that goin’ to happen to me? When I come of age, is Mas’ Henley gon’ make me marry somebody just so I can have babies for him to own? I won’t let that happen to me. I
won’t.

Saturday

All week we been busy cleanin’ the Big House. Winter dirt been scrubbed away to make room for summer dust. We’ve all worked until our hands be raw and our backs
ache. Aunt Tee made a salve to help the soreness. She makes me watch when she’s makin’ up stuff. I know the recipes to all kinds of salves and potions, but she done forbidden me to tell
anyone her secrets. It makes me feel bad sometimes that Aunt Tee tells me her secrets, ’cause I’m scared to tell her mine.

Later on

An old gamblin’ friend of Mas’ Henley’s, Stanley Graves, been here for a day or so. Miz Lilly been takin’ her meals with William. Not that she wanted to,
but to spite Mas’ Henley. She don’t ’prove of his gamblin’.

While Spicy and me was a-servin’ dessert, we overheard Graves and Mas’ talkin’ about abolistines. I listened to as much as I dared. Graves say they think the abolistines might
run a man for president of the United States. I know ’bout the president from study time. He’s the mas’er of all the other mas’ers. If the president is a abolistine, then he
can do ’way with slavery and the mas’ers can’t stop him.

I heared a new word. Cecession. I’m gon’ add it to my list of words to know.

Third Sunday in May

I read the calendar on Mas’ Henley’s desk. It is Sunday, May 22, 1859. Rufus talked ’bout the Garden of Eden this mornin’. God’s garden, filled
with peace, love, no hurt, no sufferin’ and no slavery. There aine no such place ’round here and that’s for sure. All through service we could hear Mas’ Henley and Miz Lilly
fightin’ again – shoutin’ mean words, flyin’ every which way. That means it’s gon’ be hard on Spicy and me when we have to ’tend her. She just as soon slap
us for bein’ in the room as to not.

After Sunday late meal, I came here to write in my special spot. I just wrote B-O-A-T, and I sees a boat full of people sailin’ past Belmont on their way somewhere. I wave at them. They
wave back. Wonder are they thinkin’ ’bout me the way I’m thinkin’ ’bout them? Wonder are there any abolistines on that boat?

Days later

Rained all yesterday and today – no scary thunder and lightnin’ – just a steady drip, drip, drop. Been so damp, mould is creepin’ up the side of the
kitchen walls. We spent the mornin’ scrubbin’ the walls down with vinegar water.

After last meal, Aunt Tee sent Spicy down to the stables with Hince’s dinner. She come back just a-smilin’. “Well, I do declare,” say Aunt Tee, lookin’ real
surprised. “I b’lieve Spicy is sweet on Hince.”

Aunt Tee is ’bout the last one to catch on. Everybody’s talkin’ ’bout how the two of them been lookin’ at each other in that special way. I knew it since the party.
Spicy and Hince. Spicy is a different person from when she come here. Different in a good way. Spicy and Hince. That Missy is ’bout to have a cat fit. Good.

Next afternoon

It’s Thursday. I shall never forget this day. William almost caught me readin’. Lordy, I got to be more careful. I was dustin’ Mas’ Henley’s study
where there are all manner of books. I found one called an Atlas. I was so excited to find out it was a book filled with maps. I was lookin’ for Virginia, when, all at once, the door flew
open, and William walked in.

William laughed real wicked-like. “I know what you were doin’,” he said. “You was readin’ that book!”

I thought I would die when he called his mama. My tongue got thick and my throat felt dry when I thought ’bout what was goin’ to happen to me. Miz Lilly came runnin’ from the
large parlour, answerin’ William’s call. “Mother, Clotee was readin’,” William said. “She was in here with the door shut. I caught her readin’,” and
he laughed and laughed.

I stood there with my head down, lookin’ as blank-faced as I could. Miz Lilly made William stop tormentin’ me. “I thought you called me about somethin’ serious. Where
would Clotee learn how to read?” she said. Her petticoats swished as she walked away. “Keep the door open, Clotee,” say Miz Lilly, turnin’ to look back at me, real
curious-like. William had been just funnin’. He went on laughin’, but my knees was still shakin’.

Saturday

Aunt Tee said her elbow hurt all night, so it was goin’ to rain ’fore nightfall. I don’t know why it should surprise me. Aunt Tee’s elbow is good at
callin’ the weather. But, the almanack I seen in Mas’ Henleys study said the May of 1859 was goin’ to be wet.

I found out ’bout an almanack the same way I found out ’bout the atlas, just by dustin’ the bookshelves in Mas’ Henley’s study.

At first, I couldn’t believe that somebody could know ahead when the moon was goin’ to be full. But, sure enough, the moon was full on the very day the almanack say it would be.

Now, I’ve got to be very careful lookin’ through Mas’ Henley’s books, gettin’ answers to my questions. After almost gettin’ caught, I’m real
nervous-like.

Monday

The sun is still up, even though the time of day is late. Miz Lilly has changed the study time to early in the mornin’ when it’s cool. I’m still s’posed
to fan.

Hince and William went for a mornin’ ride, makin’ William late. Miz Lilly pitched a fit. Sooner or later all of us gets on the bad side of Miz Lilly, but Hince can’t do
nothin’ to please her. Good thing Hince comes under Mas’ Henley’s say so. Hince would have it hard if he had to work with Miz Lilly. He knows it and stays ’way from her most
of the time, too. Word tell, Miz Lilly hates Hince on account of his mama Ola and the talk that goes on ’bout Mas’ Henley bein’ the boy’s father.

Aunt Tee is real closed-mouthed ’bout it all. But from what I can pick up here and there from the women in the Quarters, Miz Lilly wouldn’t rest ’till Hince’s mama was
sold. Say Ola was just too pretty. Miz Lilly would-a sold Hince, too, but Mas’ Henley put his foot down on that. Say a male slave would bring more money when he got older and been trained.
Mas’ Henley promised Miz Lilly he would keep Hince ’til he was at least sixteen.

At first frost, Hince will come into his sixteenth year. Wonder will Miz Lilly ’member the promise? I hope not. I wouldn’t want nothin’ bad to happen to my brother-friend
Hince.

Tuesday

Thinkin’ ’bout Hince’s mama always puts me to thinkin’ ’bout my own, ’cause they was sold one shortly after the other. Longer days allow me
more chances to write. I just wrote M-A-M-A. Mama. I see her the way I seen her last – a dark-faced woman with joyedly eyes. Then the bad lonesome feelin’ comes into my heart –
memories that sour in my heart. No more writin’ this night.

Wednesday

I didn’t know I was walkin’ ’round lookin’ so sad, ’til Spicy said somethin’. While pluckin’ chickens for the dinner meal, I told her
’bout Mama.

I told her ’bout how my mama got caught in the never-endin’ fight that goes on in the Big House ’tween Mas’ Henley and Miz Lilly.

Soon after Ola was sold, Mas’ Henley gave Mama ’way to his sister and brother-in-law, Amelia and Wallace Morgan, as a weddenin’ present. Since Mama was a good dressmaker, she
could bring good money into their house. I was a baby and not part of the deal. Aunt Tee say Miz Lilly was so mad, when she found out Mama had been gave ’way. Say she turned purple – no
doubt worried ’bout who was gon’ make her dresses.

The madder Miz Lilly got, the more set in his way Mas’ Henley got. “You made me get rid of Ola, now you’ve got to let Rissa go.” That brought ’bout a faintin’
spell, the kind Miz Lilly gets when she’s tryin’ to win a point. All her fallin’ out couldn’t save Mama. She had to go to Richmond.